I leave Bianca behind as I make my way to my room. I can’t help but think back on my reaction earlier. Yes she wasn’t supportive of my idea, but did I really have to lash out like that? It bothers me as even I can see how volatile my temper has become. It would have irritated me normally, but her arguments were reasonable. I know I can be stubborn, but I don’t remember being aggressive about it before.

I shake my head to clear my mind as I walk up the stairs back to my room. I feel tired. Really tired actually, which might also be a reason why I got so aggressive. I don’t want to think about the other more probable reason right now. I’d like to never think of it again, but it seems it might not be so simple to escape my own soul.

I hate myself for circling back to it again and again like this. It doesn’t help me and only makes me more paranoid and more fearful. I have to stay calm and collected. Maybe I should try and find some kind of energy potion or something to keep me awake, they are bound to have something like that in this tower of mages, right?

My legs take me to my room and I open it to the mess I left last time I was here, more than a day ago. My back and extra clothes are on a bundle that I pile up in a corner. I’ll deal with it later. Some books are still strewn about but I don’t bother to fix it right now. I just want a shower to wake up. I start pulling off my clothes and leather armor and add it to the pile. I keep my sword with me as I am a bit paranoid with this many mages around. Circumstances have made me come here, but I have no love for their kind. I put my sword just outside the shower, close by just in case.

I activate the water crystals and the cold water shocks my body awake. I stand in it as it reinvigorates me, my endlessly spinning mind finally calms down as I don’t think, just for a moment. I stand there, free for a second of my worst tormentor, myself. A rare smile creeps up on my face as I shake my head under the cold water, splattering the walls with the cold liquid. I reach for the soap when I stop in my tracks. Was that?

I reach for my sword behind the curtain and find only empty air. Panicking, I throw the curtain aside as I look at where it should be, ready for anything. There is nothing there, but I clearly remember putting it right there. I see and hear no one else either, the door to my room proper is still closed and I didn’t hear anyone open it. So how?

I step out of the shower and something catches my eye at the corner of my vision. I try to activate [Burst Of Speed] but fail. The shock is enough to make my reaction even slower as I see someone move at the periphery of my vision. My movements feel sluggish as I try to turn around and avoid whatever they are doing. Something bites into my left shoulder. It’s not a deep wound and I finally manage to face my assailant. The mage looks strange with the [Camouflage] spell active, making him take on the appearance of the wall behind him to my eyes. It doesn’t look good unless he is perfectly still, which is why I missed him.

Naked, I charge him, my fist easily connecting to his jaw now that I’m in a correct position. He is weak, way weaker than me and probably already unconscious. He falls like a sac of potatoes and I turn around towards the door. He probably wasn’t alone, was he? I open the door very carefully, ready for anything. I peek through the opening before I swing it completely open. No one. What is going on?

I wobble and understand. He poisoned me. It takes some time to take effect, but I feel my balance threatening to abandon me and I reach an arm out to stop myself from falling. My arm somehow misses the wall and I fall to the floor. My head feels all groggy and my eyes are the heaviest object in the world right now as I fight to keep them open. I see a few other mages come out of hiding as they start to drag me out. I see that I leave a bit of blood behind me, a few drops here and there. I fight to stay awake and hesitate to draw on his power. But I don’t want to. Not again. I also know that they won’t kill me and I am curious as to who is behind all this.

Instead, I use all of my willpower to make my leg move as they drag me by my pile of mess. I miraculously manage to cover some blood with my trousers. Victory, I think to myself as I let go of awareness and fall blissfully unconscious.

—

I wake up with a start as cold water splashes on my face. I feel my limbs attached by steel, unable to escape. My arms and legs form a sort of X and I notice I am still naked. Pervert much? I look around, my head still foggy and slow. Rugged stone walls that smell of piss and old moss are all I see apart from an unknown mage or apprentice in front of me, looking fearfully at me, empty bucket in hand.

“Reagan my friend!” I hear a voice behind me. Did he really put my back towards the entrance? That is really annoying. I crane my neck to see who is talking to me, but can’t seem to manage to turn it enough.

“Sorry for the… unsightly setup. And nakedness. Can’t have clothes hide your secrets now can we?” The voice says as if amused.

“Who are you?” I croak. Not my best line and probably a useless question.

“Come now Reagan, you know I can’t answer that, or we would be talking face to face.” The man snicker behind me. Yeah I kind of walked into that one. Strangely I do feel a lot better now, probably because I slept for a while? Silver linings.

I reach for [Burst Of Speed] without activating it, just to see if I can access the skill. Something blocks it and I am reviled by the sensation. I close my eyes and look inwards to my soul, and to my surprise I see something covering it lightly, making everything look sluggish and slow. I’m disgusted by this violation of myself. How? I’ve never heard of magic capable of blocking skills. The man must somehow see my expression, because he reacts to my shock and reads my reaction like a book.

“I am sorry about that, but I’m afraid you might just try and do something stupid otherwise.” He says half apologetic and half amused.

“How?” I mutter, and to my surprise he answers this time.

“Why, soul magic of course. You didn’t think you were the only one interested, did you?” The man starts and I can feel a rant coming.

“You realize I spent the whole week since you got here perfecting it to make sure it would work, plus something else. You are a unique case, and something I cannot pass up the opportunity to study. A fascinating case… this passenger of yours.” He says in an ominous voice.

“I don’t think you know what you are dealing with. If you let me go now I’ll forget about it and let you be.” I say just in case it works. It never does in my experience, but it doesn’t hurt to try.

“I think I know a lot more about what I’m dealing with than you do.” He responds. He pauses and I hear his footsteps walk back and forth for a while.

“You see, many think of demons as monsters, like a wolf or what have you. But these people are fundamentally wrong. Of course, you might encounter a demonic wolf, which is why people get it wrong all the time.” He scoffs before continuing.

“People get it wrong all the time, thinking a mutated wolf or another strange monster must have been a demon. No. Demons are exceedingly rare. The last one to roam our lands was two hundred years ago I believe.” He continues, seeming to really enjoy the sound of his own voice. Are all mages like this?

“No, a demon is not a physical being. A demon is a very special kind of… soul. Or soul parasite I should say. They take over a host's body by supplanting their soul with their own, injecting their own power.” Why is he telling me all this?

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“But your case presents a unique case where that… didn’t happen. You somehow separated a part of your soul to hold it instead of it destroying your own soul. Fascinating, really.” He says and I can feel his gaze on me. He pauses before he laughs, like he made a joke to himself.

“The truth is I am not interested in talking with you Reagan, but with our mutual friend.” I can literally hear his creepy smile from here.

“I really wouldn’t do that if I were you.” I tell him honestly. He scoffs at my response and I hear his footsteps as he walks to a corner of the room. I can only see that there seems to be a table there, but I can only see the edge of it. He tinkers with some things in the silence before I hear him muttering what must be words of power. I can feel the mana move in the room, when suddenly my head falls and I can’t control anything anymore.

“Hello dear friend.” I hear the creepy mage say, and I feel my head moving even though I’m not in control. How? I didn’t draw any power or anything, our connection shouldn’t be strong enough for him to take control, so why?

“You really should listen to Reagan.” I hear my own voice say with a strangely guttural sound to it.

“Really now?” The mage can’t help but say.

Tell me my friend. Should I kill this arrogant mage for you?

I hear his voice in my head. Just his voice makes my head pound uncomfortably. Can he hear my thoughts? I pause to see if he responds to that.

“So?” The mage says. So it seems he cannot hear my thoughts, which is a strange relief. Instead I try to send a message to him telepathically.

No.

My body is immobile as I wait to see if it worked. It should have worked, no?

Why? Do you not hate him? Does he not deserve to die?

His voice rattles and hurts my brain, but that isn’t the worst. The worst is that he is making sense. I have killed people that didn’t deserve to die recently, but that mage is not one that I would lose sleep over. I think it over before I respond.

He does, but not by your hand.

His response is a laugh so loud I wish I could clutch at my head. It hurts until he finally stops. Yes that mage deserves to die, but I do not want to rely on his power to kill him. I will do it myself.

Fine by me, but let me give you a helping hand nevertheless.

The message hits me hard again and I can feel an evil smile on my face as he sends it. He starts to use some of that strange power of his, and I hear the mage behind me exclaim in surprise. Gods be damned, the power feels amazing as it flows through me. But I fight to stay sane through it, as I notice my soul is no longer muddled. A click of metal is the last thing I hear before I feel myself in control of my body.

“I-impossible.” I hear the mage stutter behind me, and I finally turn around. I recognize his face. It’s Drail, one of the most outspoken for my stay to happen. Ironic then, that he would pay the highest price for his greed. I see fear etched into his face, but then something else. Surprise.

“I-impossible.” He repeats. I ignore it and stalk towards him, fully naked. I’m oozing confidence despite being unarmed, because I can feel my skills at the tip of my metaphorical fingers.

“You are co-existing? It shouldn’t be possible. Souls cannot fuse.” He stresses the word and his words irritate me. Would you kindly just die? He continues to back away from me as I approach slowly, but misses a step. He falls on his back and I continue my slow predatory pace. He sits there on the ground and I enjoy the moment right until I notice something in his gaze.

The fear is gone and instead I see fascination. It frustrates me and I plunge my hand right through his heart, piercing his clothes and mortal coil. Why wasn’t he afraid? It irritates me and I feel robbed of a moment I should have enjoyed. Standing back up, I turn my head to the right where I see the table. I spot my reflection in a small mirror standing up on the table and almost fall on my ass right there.

The red in my eyes vanishes as soon as I notice. I stumble backwards from the shock before falling on the uneven ground. How did I not notice? It should have been obvious. He deserved to die, that’s for sure, but it was blind hatred that guided my hand. I was not in control, even if I was… somehow.

If I had been, or just a bit calmer and thought things through, it would have been obvious that I shouldn’t kill him. He was the first mage in this godforsaken tower to seem to know about soul magic, and I just went and killed him. Even if he was an absolute asshole, he might have been the one person in this tower that could help me. I look at his corpse still bleeding fresh blood on the ground.

Fuck. FUCK.

You god damned piece of shit.

I mentally send the message to that horrible being. I know he did this on purpose. Trying to play me like a fiddle. Did he think I wouldn’t notice? Fuck. I sit there, and look at my bloody hands. What do I do now? Try to find a lost artifact in the hopes that it might help? Fuck. How long until I lose it completely? How long until I stop even noticing the changes? How many small changes have I missed?

Don’t you see it?

His message jolts me away from my panic. I stop moving as I’m suddenly on full alert. I need to be vigilant at all times. I can’t let him get away with this. I sit completely still now, ready for anything. He doesn’t elaborate and my curiosity is gnawing at me. It feels like he knows it, that if I ask, I’ve somehow lost an imaginary fight with him. And against my better judgment, I want to know. I need to know.

See what?

I ask back and immediately regret it. I can feel him more than before now. Or is it simply that I never noticed? In any case, I can feel him lurking under the surface of my soul somehow, and I can feel him being smug that I asked. He knows it’s a victory for him and lets me know it. That evil piece of shit.

You long for it.

No. I shake my head vehemently at the thought. No. I don’t long for shit. He’s just the one messing with my head. Making me do things. Or is he? I stop at that thought. Is that even my thought, or is he influencing me again? Are my thoughts even my own at this point? I hate that I doubt myself so much. My hands tremble as I continued to shake my head. No. He won’t get me. I shake my head as if it will help throw him out, because deep down I’m afraid that he is right. That I long for that power he offers, that I enjoy a good kill, that feeling of taking a life, of taking what is mine.

I rock back and forth on the ground, feeling my grip on my sanity slipping as he laughs in the background of my soul. I just might need to do something drastic. I might not last long otherwise. Standing up I go over to the Drail’s desk and go over his notes. The goal calms my mind as I focus on what I see. Strange words that hurt my head as well as weird diagrams litter the pages, but Bianca can probably understand this shit.

I go back to the corpse on the ground and take off his bag. I go back to the desk once more and unceremoniously shove the papers in the small bag. She’ll figure it out, right? I hope there’s page numbers or she might yell at me.

I take a last look around at the room and turn to leave. Before I do I stop and stand still. Closing my eyes I take a look at my soul and see that the two parts of our souls have countless connections. There are less gaps than not between our two parts. Maybe I’m going about this the wrong way.

Instead of mutilating my soul, I push back at the deep red that is invading my part and try to shove it back in the corner that it belongs to. It takes a tremendous amount of effort and it feels like it is taking forever, but I don’t stop. I can’t stop now. Gasping for air, I open my eyes for a second and see that I’m sweating profusely. No matter. I close my eyes and continue until I’m on the verge of collapsing.

I barely see a difference, but it does feel like I did something. I don’t feel him as strongly, but I don’t trust the feeling. He is a sneaky bastard and might be playing a trick on me to throw me off. Still, it can’t hurt to continue later. I stand up to leave, but freeze as I hear voices farther up along the tunnel.

Shit, someone is coming here. I look behind me and see the dead mage. He was the spokesperson of the tower, so a rather prominent member I guess. I wonder how they will react. A smile that doesn’t reach my eyes spread on my face. Yeah, there is no other way out. I just might be fucked.

It almost makes me laugh. I’ve been in so many bad situations lately it’s not even funny anymore. There aren’t even any places to hide.

Unless? No. That won’t work. But maybe? I take a last look around as I hear the voices get closer. Not like I have a better plan.

Here goes nothing.