Althos, presently within the depths of his own mind, looked straight down at his feet. He saw that he stood, as much as anyone stood within a mind, on top of a sandy shoreline. The sand at his feet was bright green as if to emulate the soft-green glow of some bioluminescent fungi, including a few of the bioluminescent fungi who revered the deity.
He then looked up and saw an endless void. A perfect slab of inky darkness, without a single star to shed even the smallest amount of light in any direction. After a few moments, this grew mildly frightening to look at, since even the desert Althos was physically in had the false moon to shed a mockery of light in the night sky. Althos changed the direction of his gaze, looking forward and towards the shoreline again.
This strange shoreline extended just long enough that if he so desired the young god could take a handful of steps and wade into the eerie mind-lake that stretched out before him. Althos took a second to thoroughly examine the lake itself, genuinely mystified by its existence in the depths of his mind.
The lake that stretched beyond even his prodigious vision was enormous. The lake itself was calm but far wider than any body of water the young god had seen thus far in his life. Even his past superficial scanning of the thousands of years of memories that dwelled in his brain revealed nothing even remotely comparable to this strange liquid body, hidden away within his mind.
Why is this here? He wondered as he studied the beautiful, mysterious natural feature inexplicably found in the depths of his mind. He approached it, slowly, as he noticed that the body of water was perfectly, impossibly still.
Within seconds, even at his cautious pace, he reached the edge of the shoreline and was in a position where if he took another step forward his feet would enter the water, something he felt wary about doing unless forced too.
He looked into the motionless water. The water was perfectly clear, and as he looked into it all he saw was the natural continuation of the sandy shoreline he was standing on top of.
He sighed, the sound breaking up the otherwise absolute silence of the strange shoreline and even stranger lake. This is mysterious but... what can I do? He questioned, mystified by the unexpected sight of the lake and the sandy shore. After a few seconds, the deity decided to emulate what his physical body was doing and sat down atop the shoreline.
He sat down, crossed his legs, and closed his eyes. It was a meditative pose, one that he hoped would get him the answers he was looking for. With his eyes closed, the young god began to think. Can someone... something, help me out here? What is this lake? The god implored, not expecting a response but hoping one would come if he earnestly asked for it.
He was met with silence. At first. Several seconds, or the mind-equivalent anyway, passed before something began to happen.
Althos' ears twitched as a new noise disrupted the silence that the deity had quickly grown accustomed too. The sound of something being tossed into the lake. This caused the curiosity deity to open his eyes. And as he did, he saw the lake change.
He felt a mysterious vibration touch the lake, even though its source was something he hadn't seen but seconds after his senses alerted him to the strange vibration, the god did see a ripple effect disturb the water as ripples emerged from the center of the lake that he could see.
Some ripples approached the shoreline while others spread out away from it, as they spread out in every direction. He hadn't seen whatever was dropped into the lake, but he saw the effects of it.
Some of the ripples eventually reached the shoreline Althos stood on top of, and when he stopped looking at them he looked right ahead and saw the ripples continuing to flow in the other direction, continuing their exploration of the mysterious lake uninterrupted by the shoreline or by some disruption in the water in the other direction. Eventually, they vanished, having gone farther out than Althos could see.
The god looked into the area from which he saw the ripples, peering into the crystal clear water. He hoped that he'd see something that shed some light on the mystery of what caused the ripples in the first place. And he was disappointed to see there be nothing in the water itself.
How odd... I know I didn't imagine the ripples. The deity thought. What caused them? He questioned. He began to wait, wondered if something would happen if he were just patient.
Althos waited for a few moments, not even bothering to try and keep track of time anymore until the water vibrated again. His eyes were locked on the lake, the same spot from which he saw the ripples emerge last time. So whatever causes it is something I can't see. He realized, frustratedly. He went back to waiting, after watching that set of ripples vanish.
The next time they came the ripples arrived a bit faster and moved a bit faster, reaching Althos' shoreline on one hand and on the other they reached the edge of Althos' vision quicker than before. This intrigued the god. Maybe the key is for me to follow the ripples. He thought, and when the deity noticed the next vibration, keeping up their tradition of arriving faster than the previous vibration he took to the sky.
He ascended just a few centimeters off the ground, just enough that he wouldn't touch the water. He did this using his own mental energy, not by flapping his wings, he somehow knew that it wasn't necessary for him to do so to be able to soar. How do I know that? He questioned, before watching the ripples he meant to follow begin to speed towards some unknown destination, indeed faster than they previously had been.
Not without me! The deity thought urgently, willing himself into motion and commencing his pursuit of the ripples over the lake. He caught up with them easily, and stayed close to them for a minute, flying further and further away from where he had been standing until he could no longer see the shoreline in the distance.
Eventually, the ripples vanished. They didn't reach the end of the lake, they merely ceased to disrupt the water, slowly becoming less and less substantial until they had faded away altogether. Althos noticed this and huffed in annoyance.
So... this was all to lead me here huh? He realized and questioned, now floating just above the water in a place so far from the shore that he couldn't see it.
"Yes, it was." A voice said, softly disrupting the silence Althos had grown accustomed too during this expedition into his own mind. The voice spoke, it didn't project its words to Althos across a mental connection or otherwise communicate with the god. It audibly spoke, which to the god was noteworthy and odd.
And then Althos spent the next moment looking for the source of said voice before it spoke again. "Down here." The voice interjected, interrupting the deity's search. It was coming from below him. It was coming from the lake. And more than that, the lake below him was uninhabited.
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"I was starting to wonder when you'd get here!" The lake said moments after Althos realized that it was speaking to him. Its voice was deeply masculine, and not entirely unlike the god's own voice. That fact did not escape his notice, even as he stared at the body of water in confusion.
The god's confusion turned to caution, and Althos began silently eyeing the thing as though it would somehow extend a tendril of water and attack him. "What are you?" He eventually asked, opting to speak normally rather than "think" at it. The lake's response came a few seconds later.
"I am a lot of things. But for now consider me to be a manifestation of the part of your mind that stores and then accesses or plays back memories. When you replay memories in your head like actually sit down and remember them you are tapping into me, though you have yet to do that. You wanted to access your memories so I thought this was a good opportunity to introduce myself." The lake "said".
Althos had listened to the lake perform its eerie version of speaking and had visually scanned the lake while it communicated with him. He wasn't shocked but he was disappointed to note that the lake did not physically change while communicating with him, its waters retained their perfect stillness even as the thing communicated the longest or the most challenging words to utter. It was an impressive, but odd display.
Althos sighed internally and began to speak. "So can you tell me about yourself?" Althos questioned, curious as to how the lake would respond to his question.
Moments later the lake began to speak again, its masculine voice seemingly emanating from within the water, out into the air above the lake. "I am the storage unit for the memories that enter your brain. Whether they are your memories, or someone else's, they are all cataloged, superficially assessed, and stored within me." The lake said. But it wasn't done.
"I am not conscious. Because you have taken or been given memories from dozens of lifeforms I have gained this... facsimile of consciousness. I am not a thinking thing, I am your godly mind's way of aiding you genuinely understand the thousands of years of memories floating through your brain at the moment and the trillions of years of memories that will one day flow through your brain." The lake confessed.
Althos nodded at this explanation. But after pondering it for a second he realized he had a question he wanted to ask the thing. "Why are you a lake though? I've never seen a lake in my lifetime and no lake in any of the memories in my mind is so big." He said, his curiosity now dominating the conversation since he was forcefully told that the lake wasn't some odd alien entity in his brain.
The lake quickly responded to his query with a simple answer. "Because it'd get your attention. It would be unforgettable. I am not based on something that actually exists, I am based on something someone imagined. Specifically something one of the jackaloids imagined. The little thing, as a child, imagined an ocean of fresh water."
Althos chuckled as he heard that. And then he spoke. "I see. So among other things, you store memories and your manifestation is based on the memory of that moment of imaginative creativity?" He asked, wanting to be sure he understood. This time the lake sighed in annoyance, but there was also a twinge of another emotion, one less negative in the particularity of its sigh. Sure enough, after sighing, the thing spoke again.
"Yes. And because of this, I have left an impression on your mind. And hopefully, that impression leads you to grow tired of mere superficial analyses of memories and to want to thoroughly learn about memories. Your pursuit of memories and knowledge, thoughts and secrets, is actually kind of amazing but you aren't using what is in inside of you correctly." The lake informed the young god.
This declaration surprised Althos. He knew it to be true because it was part of what he was chastising himself about prior to entering his own mind, but he wanted to know what the strange lake thought of the situation. So he spoke again. "Can you elaborate on that? And how do you know what you know?" The god asked, aware of the fact that he was having a sort of conversation with himself.
The lake was silent for a second as if gathering and organizing its own thoughts before it resumed speaking.
"I know what I know because I am part of you. But unlike you, I am not distracted. You see... you are distracted. You are distracted by the needs and desires of both your immature desires and the immature hearts of those around you." The thing declared. It paused, just for a moment, but for reasons that weren't clear to Althos. "Allow me to explain." The thing said, when ready to continue.
"You, the deity that is out in the multiverse day by day, face distractions. You are pursuing goals and moving towards objectives, not all of which belong to you. Those things distract you from building a true awareness of your capabilities. Those things distract you from studying your emotions, and from studying the memories of others." The parts of Althos' mind represented by the lake told the deity's conscious will.
"The true limits of your powers, the complexities of your heart, and the true potential of the memories locked within your mind be they yours or otherwise are known to your mind. But that doesn't mean you, the part of you that is conscious knows these things. Because you haven't explored your mind, not fully anyway. Because of distractions." The lake said, carefully doing its best to communicate something fairly complex to a simple part of itself.
"Your consciousness is only part of your mind, a small part of a greater whole, and this is true for mortals as well as for gods, but gods do not face the same constraints as mortals. Mortal minds are a lot less... flexible than godly minds are. Considerably more limited." The thing said, its statements beginning to make more sense to the god.
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"Hence why moments like this are possible for you but not for mortals. Hence why part of your mind, can manifest itself to your consciousness. Gods and mortals do not have to play by the same rules." The lake told the god.
As if to illustrate that, the lake said something quippy to the god. "And there's little proof of that that is better than this. A mortal mind cannot force a manifestation of part of itself independent of the mortal's will, like you can. If you were a mortal, the growth you as a god can undergo in a second would take years." The thing reminded Althos.
That made the god grin. And then the deity began to speak.
"So I'm not introspective enough?" He asked, looking at the lake. Before the thing responded to him in words, he could have sworn he heard an excited shout come from it.
"Precisely! You do not reflect on what you've learned. On what you've observed. That most directly and most literally manifests itself with your cavalier treatment of your memories, but it's more than that. You treat your followers this way as well." The lake said. And then before Althos could interject, as the deity was about too, the lake forcibly continued to speak.
"Have you spoken to Tristan to check in with her and see how she feels knowing that the monster who slew her father is dead?" The lake asked, bringing up a really good example of the deity's lack of thoughtfulness. Althos hissed as he realized that he hadn't. The lake then spoke up again to bring up another example of Althos' at best emotionally ignorant nature.
"Have you asked Drow how his family is reacting to the news that he now has oracular powers? You have his memories. Even a superficial analysis, the only level of analysis of them or any other memories you've done, revealed that he faced isolation from his family because of how the power that was common in their family apparently skipped him. He spent years on the surface, away from his home, consulting oracles and experimenting with home remedies to awaken his power." The lake said, accurately criticizing the god.
"Don't you want to have personal relationships with your worshipers?" The lake asked, annoyance audible in its voice. "If you actually want a personal relationship with your worshipers that's amazing. But if you want that, you need to go about engaging with them. It's not enough to be a being that physically exists Althos. You have to interact with your followers. Talk to them. Help them. And those are things you can do. You've done it before, always in small ways, but you can just build on what you've already done. Improve." The lake said, wanting the god to truly hear it.
"That's... fair." The god confessed. Facing accurate examples of his failures as both a friend and a deity in pursuit of worshipers wasn't the best feeling but the god knew that the criticisms were accurate. He swallowed his pride and adopted a kneeling pose, while still floating, and began to wonder what he could do to remedy his mistakes.
What can I do? How can I improve from here? I must be able to do so right? The deity questioned, doing his best to ward away what petty emotions he felt that made excuses for his behavior. The voice that answered his questions wasn't the voice of some lofty domain, but rather the voice of the lake. The thing spoke in an annoyed, almost mocking tone.
"Actually be introspective! And remember that there's a difference between introspective and self-absorbed." It said, its voice penetrating the silence that had fallen on the area after Althos began to kneel in the air. But it wasn't done.
"Actually study. Don't just rely on your shallow analysis of memories. Take your time to relive them. Go into your mind, select memories and put yourself in them. Witness the first time that Qu'Ren summoned a demon, from her own eyes no less! Place yourself in Milene's shoes the first time she is handed a potion. Enter her head when she first poisoned someone who challenged her brother." The lake said, taking this time to inspire the god while also hinting at how much Althos was missing out on by not truly experiencing what his followers had experienced.
"You have a truly astounding, legitimately incredible power. Among the old gods, this power was not readily available. Not all gods could enter someone's mind, and far fewer could actually make copies of their memories. This is something that M.A. revealed while watching you a few days ago, but she didn't mutter it to anyone in particular which was how you missed it. According to her, someone who has met other gods, your powers are special. Truly take advantage of them." The lake urged, revealing that what Althos had long felt was a common power wasn't.
"But I enter minds using spells." The deity said, speaking to the lake. The deity's tone made it clear that he had felt that this meant his ability was unremarkable. The lake laughed, oddly coldly, for just a second before responding.
"And not all gods can use all spells. Thus far you appear to be able to do so, or maybe you will be able to do so one day, for reasons neither of your advisors appear to have a solid theory for, yet, and the theory that M.A. is running with is that this relates to your fixation with knowledge. It appears, that your intentions and the current otherwise godless state of the multiverse are mixing together and creating... unpredictable events." The lake whispered, speaking as if afraid that someone might overhear them.
The lake wasn't done talking either. "Your advisors believe in you. You are hurt because you heard one part of what they said to each other in a moment of frustration, which is a fair reaction, but you didn't hear everything. You don't hear everything." The lake told Althos.
"You don't know that their frustration stems from the fact that they believe in you. Samyaza advertised your existence to other angels in the world you were born on. It did that because it believes you to become a god who can unify its people." The lake told Althos, revealing something that the angel itself thought about from time to time, thinking its thoughts safe while in a mindscape belonging to a deity whose mind was unafraid of intrusion.
"M.A., in a moment of frustration, complained. That sucks. That can cause hurt feelings. But ultimately she wants you to grow. She wants to teach you what she knows, and she wants to help you. She taught you necromancy. And she'll teach you more things if you ask her too." The lake reminded Althos.
Althos took in that new information. He was quiet as he processed it.
"I should ask more questions shouldn't I?" The god asked. The lake laughed at that statement before responding to it.
"Yes. And you need to learn. On your own. Not just by absorbing the skills of the creatures whose memories are trapped in your mind. You need to create things. You need to battle. You need to cast spells. Read. Have debates. Win them. Heck, you even need to lose them." The lake told the god.
"If you truly value knowledge as much as you claim too, you'll go out and learn on your own terms. Gaining worshippers is fantastic. It's an important component of godhood according to both of your advisors. But it's not the only thing to do. Neither is living vicariously through the memories and lives of others. You are a living creature. You need to act like it." The lake said, passion entering its odd voice.
"And if you are dedicated to self-correction and self-improvement you will become a better god. You'll be a better leader. You'll gather more worshipers and it'll be easier for them to become fanatics dedicated to you." The lake told the god.
"It's not enough for this moment to be a singular instance of introspection. That happened earlier in your life. When you realized you weren't treating the orcs well. And then after correcting that, which deserves acknowledgment, you persisted in illogical, childish behavior." The lake reminded the deity. But this time it's tone was more even-handed.
"Self-improvement is difficult. Mistakes will be made. Backsliding will occur. Those things will happen. But you need to dedicate yourself to working hard to correct those unfortunate instances." The lake told the deity. Althos nodded and began to think about what to do next, how to fix those mistakes and prevent future ones.
He spoke to the lake after thinking for a few moments. "Let me... come up with a plan to become a better god." He told the thing, somewhat aware of the oddity of having an intensely self-critical conversation with a lake, even one that was a manifestation of parts of his own mind.
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Althos spent an indeterminate amount of time floating over the lake. While he did so he carefully came up with the loose beginning of a surprisingly detailed plan to iron out his real flaws and make himself a better deity and leader.
First I need to learn what my followers think of me. All of them. He told himself. He sent out a message to his followers, the ones who were with him beside the corpse of the desert titan, as well as those on the world of his birth, and the assortment of followers he had throughout the desert.
[Hello! I am initiating a new weekly ritual. If you seek to be a devoted follower of mine, then I am seeking your input in becoming a greater god and leader. Those of you who are truly devoted to me and wish to see me improve are to pray every week and tell me ways in which I can improve as a god. You are also to tell me about your days, how you are feeling, and about the goals you are pursuing. I want to have a personal relationship with you and I've been doing that badly. But I want to change that. I hope you'll help. Thank you.]
And from there, I can focus on improving what they think of me. Little by little. Figuring out what criticisms they have, and then pushing myself to fix those criticisms. The deity thought, a smile on its face.
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Second I need to devote... four hours or so every day to analyzing memories. True analysis. In-depth analysis. The deity told himself. A superficial analysis of what memories lurk in my mind is not what I want. If a follower of mine gives me a copy of their memories, or if I steal someone's memories, I want to have as much true knowledge of themselves as I do of myself. The god stressed, focused on this objective in particular.
Third I need to work on my relationship with not just the domains that have revealed to me how to make progress along influencing them, but every domain. Part of that... a big part actually, is just asking questions. And that will often be the case for my interactions with people and monsters as well. The god realized.
He valued what few domain-centered abilities were already his to use, and sought to gain more of them. And to do that he needed to engage with the domains themselves. Initiate conversations. Acquire and eventually complete quests.
I also need to reflect. I need to take time each day to study myself. To question what thoughts flowed through my mind. I need to learn what makes me... tick. The deity told himself, accurately remembering what the lake had told him. I have an incredible mind, my mind and memory powers are, apparently special.
For how great my mind is, or could be on a conscious level I don't really understand it. It's important that I correct that. He thought, wanting to consciously know what all his mind could do at any one time. I must master myself. He told himself, steeling himself for a long journey towards self-awareness and self-control.
And for now, the last huge thing I should do is things. A wide variety of things. From reading books to debating other creatures, to practicing martial arts and gaining classes wherever I can, I should do everything I can. Experience what all there is to experience. And in doing so learn things I can't learn through memories, or through simple, isolated study.
The more Althos schemed, the more ambitious he felt. But in time he withdrew from his schemes and he looked at the lake.
"Hey... can we go ahead and view some memories?" The god asked, the question directed to the body of water below him.
"Sure!" The lake responded, happiness bubbling into its voice. "That's the best possible spirit with which to begin this process of self-improvement." The lake told the god.
"Where would you like to start?" It asked the deity floating above it. Althos considered that for a second but it didn't take him long to come up with an answer.
"We're next to a dead desert-titan. So let's start with him. Show me the memories of Mahmud Suti, the self-proclaimed 'Sultry Sultan'." He told the lake.
"Sure thing!" The lake responded, having had a chance to vent at Althos and apparently getting through to the youthful deity had excited the body of water, so now the thing was excited and eager to help Althos further enact his plan of self-improvement.
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The lake mentally reached into its internal storage of memories and contemplated the extensive conversation it had with the young god.
He was... very mature all things considered. The lake told itself. It wasn't naive enough to think that this alone would be enough to transform the deity, but much to its surprise the god made the decision to come up with and enact a plan that would push him towards self-improvement.
If he's serious about any of these objectives... then this conversation might be the springing off point towards a future wherein we become the god they believe we can be. The lake thought, daring to be hopeful for a second.
The lake mentally activated the very first memories of the creature who would one day become the desert sultan, the supreme ruler of the desert giants in Infernius' second layer.
The sky above the lake, and above the god who floated just over the water of the lake, transformed from an obsidian void into something new. Something that swallowed the deity's consciousness, transporting it and himself elsewhere. In an instant, Althos could no longer see the lake where he had just been.
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Instead of seeing the lake's beautiful water surround him, Althos could see the smiling face of a woman with skin the complexion of thick chocolate. Her face was enormous in Althos' eyes and was the only thing Althos could see, as if she were some great goddess who wanted her first creation to imprint on her.
Her soft green eyes gazed at him, studied him, and her brow was covered in the thick sweat of her species. Her breath hit his face, and Althos could smell the sickly sweet scent of desert fruits. The breaths of the woman whose face encompassed all Althos could see came out of her in gasps as if she had just finished something exhausting.
After the two starred at each other for a few moments, her smile grew even wider. She turned to someone, someone Althos couldn't see, and began to speak.
"He's so handsome! I think... I think I'll name him Mahmud." She told the mysterious stranger, someone Althos knew was nearby because of context, but who remained out of his sight. Althos had no control over the perspective of the memories, and so he was forced to effectively stay still, looking only at what Mahmud felt like looking at.
It took Althos a second to realize what was going on. This is the first moment of Mahmud's life isn't it? The deity thought to himself. Seconds later Althos heard an odd cooing noise begin to escape from the body he occupied, the baby of the newborn desert titan. This noise drew the attention of the titan's mother back to her son, and she giggled.
"Oh are you hungry?" She asked. She studied the face of the baby in her arms and then began to grin. After a few more seconds of contemplation, she turned to the mysterious, still unidentified figure close to her, and spoke, ordering them to bring her some liquid food for her baby. Althos did his best to ready himself for what he wondered was coming, as the mother of the desert titan turned her matronly face to her newborn once again.
If I want to truly understand the person whose corpse I'm next too... it is necessary for me to endure this. He reminded himself, annoyed that so shortly after he made a promise to study the memories he had locked in his mind he was being forced to undertake such an odd test of his commitment.
And with that, the god's in-depth study of the desert titan Mahmud Suit began, with the deity reliving the creature's earliest moments.