From the very start life was pretty rough for me. Many times over the years I thought of ending it all. But I stuck through. Bullies and abusive teachers? I stuck through. Crippling depression and anxiety? I stuck through it too. When the world decided to give me cancer and cripple my arm. I stuck through that as well.

But it all came to an end one day. I was standing on the deck of my apartment. An old decrepit structure the landlord couldn’t care less about fixing. It was the same for the rest of the place but I digress. The deck all the way to the foundation split and detached from the apartment. I dug my hands into the railing. My flight or fight response was to freeze.

So I rode it all the way to the ground. Well almost. The deck hit a tree on the way down. The tree was battered and worn by storms and should have been cut down a long time ago. The tree stopped the deck for a brief moment, just long enough for my momentum to throw me over the railing. My wrists snap and then my arms as I hit the ground pinning them under me..

If that damned tree wasn’t there I would have cleared the ground and fell into the river. Although my wrists would have still been snapped I could have made it to shore. For what I lacked in arm strength I made up for in my legs. I was blessed with my mothers legs. They were as round as watermelons and as hard as stone. I never tried but I could probably crush one too. Ahem where was I?

Right. The tree didn't last but a moment under the decks tremendous weight and I was crushed. It was quite gruesome. If only I could see the face of whoever found my body. My shattered arms pierced right through my chest. I looked like a macabre angel out of a serial killer's fantasy. My bones and ribs splayed like sanguine wings covered in my own blood.

That is how I came to an end and then suddenly I was Issac, the stable boy. I awoke to a world of fantasy. Knights and magic. Heroes and demon lords. There were just as many demon lords as there were heroes. Every country pretty much had at least one or two. Gods champions as they were, sworn to protect the realm and all that. 

Behind the scenes the gods were making bets on whose hero would die first. How many demon lords they would kill or which hero would kill a specific demon lord before another hero could. It was all very complicated, I know.

Now how did I come to know of this game the gods played you ask. I’ll tell you a brief story. I joined a hero party… The joke is that hero parties only bring you trouble. The gods don’t interfere directly, only out of fairness. But whispering sweet nothings into the ears of mortals or sending their believers to stir up trouble causing a chain reaction to mess with a hero is all fine and dandy.

The party I was in followed rumors of a holy sword. It would benefit our hero greatly. The sword was in fact a demonic sword that used the power of a slain demon. The demon was trapped with a holy seal. It would forever be used to fight the demon scourge across the realm to repent for its sins or so the description says.

Either the maker lacked foresight or overestimated their skills. Being in a damp crypt for centuries surely did no good for the blade. The seal was worn and at any moment the demon could escape and it did. Right into me leaving me trapped in the blade.

Let me tell you something about my party. We're broke. Flat out broke in fact. The first time I met the hero he was face down on the floor kind of drunk. I set him up in an inn and for weeks he asked me to join his party. I gave in and he said he knew he was a good judge of character.

I never drank myself, but my party did after nearly every adventure. A few times I had to bail them out because they couldn’t keep their clothes on and disturbed the peace. Imagine the hero buck ass waving a tankard in the streets rambling about him being a hero and asking a horse who he’s convinced is the barkeep for another round.

These are the people I spent my days with. If they weren’t so drunk all the damned time they would've noticed something was wrong. Three things about my character. I don’t drink, I'm frugal and I don't flirt with everything that walks the earth!

It broke all three. Do you have any idea what it's like to watch your body do things out of your control? It’s parading around in my skin drunk shoulder to shoulder with the hero. I swear it took some of my memories, they're doing the Prisyadka now. It would be impressive if not for the fact they're naked in the square. They couldn't have left me at the bar. I will never be able to unsee this.

This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.

I spent weeks privy to their escapades. But eventually things changed. The sword cracked. It was an unholy pain unlike anything you could imagine. Imagine stubbing your toe on an old door, getting a splinter under the nail and you drop a cup of lemonade on top of it.

With all the drinking and bail money they couldn't afford to get me repaired. The demon bastard suggested melting me down saying that I stopped being useful a long time ago and I should be retired. That I was so worn down I could hardly be considered a holy sword. That I should be made into something useful.

That foolish hero agreed. They could have sold me to a collector! Whether I was a holy sword didn't matter, I was a sword used by the hero. I was… Damn. I almost forgot I was human. I knew that being melted down would hurt but I didn't know just how bad. I was cast into the forge and my screams went unheard. But that bastard, he was smiling. It was really creepy to have your own face smile at you in your final moments.

They should of been my final moments. The pain subsided. All that was left was a gem, a lustrous, mesmerizingly beautiful gem. My sword body became an arms full of ingots. Likely cursed metal. I doubt there was enough holy power in the seal to purge what demonic energy remained.

I was pocketed by the demon and then in the night I was cast into a river. I have to admit he had one hell of an arm. I nearly skipped across if not for a protruding rock. I clacked against it and plopped into the water. I was promptly swallowed by a fish.

It was rather boring being stuck in a fish. It couldn’t break me down or dislodge me. I skip the nasty bits. I'm sure you don’t want to hear me commit to memory everything the fish ate. It's been a long time. Eventually the fish I was in got eaten by a bigger fish.

That bigger fish was caught and eaten by a man who choked to death. If he wasn’t so voracious he would have been paying attention to what he put in his mouth. I spent an uncomfortable amount of time lodged in a man I wanted nothing to do with.

Eventually the smell attracted an unsavory beast. Did you know trolls will eat anything and everything? The smell didn’t bother it in the least. It was on its way back to its cave when I learned about troll medicine. Apparently i gave it indigestion and its way of treating it was. I kid you not. Punching itself. Trolls heal up quite well so a little pain was nothing.

Don’t judge them for their harsh ways. They know what they're doing.. With a mighty punch it winded itself.  In its daze it fell from the cliff it called home. The pain stopped. So did its life but that's besides the point. I gained great insight into troll medicinal practice.

A few months have passed. The troll was a pile of bones and I was firmly planted at the bottom of a ravine. Barely any light shone that far down. I could hear echoes of fighting. Familiar voices and a tremor in the earth. [Demon lord Lakarl’s mortal form was slain by Hero Jaque] 

A world message. Haven't heard one of those for a while. They killed the demon lord. Wish I could have been there. I wonder what happened to my body. I had many questions but most would be answered very shortly.

The tremor shook me loose and I fell into a deeper space. I could hear a murmur through the rock. Damned hero! How dare you disgrace me. You dare kiss atop my corpse. I’ll kill you and the brown haired lover of yours. It was obvious the demon lord survived somehow. The room shook in his rage and a crack opened in the ceiling.

I fell through. I saw the most beautiful gem I had ever laid my eyes upon. Besides myself. Like a black pear that shimmered in purple. I was expecting a demon lord not this.. And judging by their reaction they definitely didn’t expect me. Both of us could only respond with a quick WTF!?

At that moment I knew we were destined for each other. Two lustrous gems drawn together by fate. We were already finishing each other's sentences. Who are you? Truly a match. I couldn't care if they were a demon. All I knew was, right now they're perfect. We were drawn together like shooting stars.

PLINK! I bounced off and landed in the dirt. Oh the shame. Don’t gaze upon my sullied form. The demon lord cried out. Noooooooooo. They rolled off the throne, A Pedestal of the purist obsidian. Oh my sweet. To comfort me at my lowest. I welcomed them with open arms. For a brief moment we touched. It was as if I could see light for the first time. A universe of colors.

And then it was over. Like a fog was lifted my mind was clear. THE FUCK!? [Issac has slain demon lord Lakarl’s Immortal form] It all came back to me. The demon lord was some kind of core and shattered after falling on me. That was anticlimactic. If it were a story the hero would track him down, fight a powered up version and kill him once and for all.

If I had skin it would be crawling. I remember everything I thought in my delirium. I wasn’t in my right mind but I remember what the demon lord said before he died... Ewwwwwww! That bastard kissed the hero in my body! I will have vengeance!

I got some titles to go through. (Demon lord killer: permanently put down a demon lord.) (Elusive Hero: Perform a heroic deed without anyone knowing it was you) (Under dog: defeat an opponent you had no chance of winning against.) (Table Flipper: Instead of playing by the rules you flip the game and make your own) (Gods favored: Gain a god(s) favor) (Scorn of Pantheons: Gain the scorn of a pantheon(s)

I don’t have to be a genius to know how badly I'm in trouble. Also these titles are rather enlightening. seems I got in between the gods and their game. But who did I make sooo happy? If I could cash in that favor I would. But seeing as I'm buried, I don't think anyone's gonna come for me. Maybe I could sleep a few years till someone digs me up… or till my mana runs out.