I couldn't believe it. Duvessa had made an 'evidence board', more commonly known as the 'wall of crazy'. And all her clues were hand drawn preschool art. This shit was adorable.

"Okay. You’ve decided you want to 'investigate' the carver." Seth walked up next to me and searched the board. I wondered what he was looking for. If it was weirdness, there was plenty here. "What, exactly, is your plan, Duvessa? What are you looking for in there?"

"Oh, it’s simple. Booth picks the lock on the door, we have a look around, and leave."

That got Booth's attention. Apparently he’d thought something different was going to happen.

"That’s not going to work," Booth said. "And what makes you think I can pick locks?"

"Oh, you can't?" Duvessa patted his shoulder reassuringly and didn't notice him pulling away. "Don't worry about it then. I can pick the lock."

"You really think you can pick that lock?" Booth asked incredulously.

"Of course I'm not sure. If I was, I wouldn't have asked you to do it."

This was such a comedy of errors. I couldn't help but wonder if Duvessa could actually pick locks or if she just thought she could. My faith in her competence at the moment was pretty skinny.

"Do you know what kind of magic protections are on that shop?" Seth asked Duvessa.

"We don’t need to worry about that. There’s nothing there," Duvessa said, and waved her hand.

"One of the premier creators of magical tools and items is going to have something protecting his shop from theft, Duvessa," Seth said.

"But he doesn't," Duvessa insisted. "I've had a sparrow in there for three nights. He just locks things in cases and locks the door. We don't care about what's in the cases because we're not stealing from him."

"I find it hard to believe a store filled with valuable magic items has no magical protections on it all," Seth said skeptically.

"I can’t speak to the foresight of a random shopkeeper," Duvessa said dismissively.

"How about formations and stuff?" Booth asked. "Did you look for those?"

"I did." Duvessa pointed to what looked like a checklist underneath a stick figure with glasses. "It's all there."

"If you have a sparrow in there," Seth asked, "then why do we need to break in and look around? Can’t your sparrow do it?"

Ooh, good question, Gandalf. I turned around to better watch this trainwreck.

"Oh yeah, that doesn’t make sense," Owen agreed. He wasn't looking at the evidence board but had taken a seat on the velvet couch.

"Oh no. The shadows can’t read. Paper is always blank to them," answered Duvessa. She went over to her desk and pulled out paper and a pen.

"Why?" Owen asked.

"Because paper looks like paper. That’s what they see." Duvessa said, exasperated. She waved a piece of paper in the air like, oh I don't know, like she thought no one had seen paper before?

“Paper is paper. Of course,” Seth said, deadpan.

I'm going to laugh my ass off over here. Or I would if cats could laugh. Instead I was wheezing. Close enough.

It was an interesting clue to Duvessa's power though, that her shadows couldn't read the writing on paper. Hmm. You could read using night vision, so the shadows saw some other way? Maybe it had nothing to do with darkness?

"You've had sparrows in this guy's shop. Did he say or do anything to make you think he's connected to Blaise’s power loss?” Seth asked.

"No, nothing! But he is a stinky fish and we need to find evidence!"

Seth turned and looked at me. I shook my head. There was inadequate recon, no plan, no getaway, and a sketchy purpose to this job. This was doomed.

"You need a better plan, Duvessa," Seth insisted.

"This plan is simple and simple is always best." Duvessa nodded to show she was right.

"Duvessa, this is a bad idea. Blaise commissioned that pendant. That crafter is the best carver in the city, possibly the whole kingdom. He made exactly what she asked for. That does not mean he stole her power or sold her out to kidnappers," Seth argued. "If anything, the kidnappers might've taken her power since they let her go before anyone even found them."

Duvessa shook her head. "Everyone agrees that the kidnapping was a rival house. They couldn’t have stopped her power from working, so the carver had to have done something to that pendant." She pointed to a place on her wall. "See, look. I tied strings where all the connections are. The carver has strings connecting him to Blaise, to her power, and to her power loss! He’s connected!"

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

"I dunno, Seth. I kinda think this guy is fishy too,” Owen said. “The kidnappers knew just when to swipe Blaise. It's gotta be him."

Duvessa smiled at Owen and the big lunk blushed again. And the best part? Duvessa had no idea what she was doing to him.

"All right. So once you’ve gotten inside the shop, what do you do if the town guard is called?" Seth asked.

"We leave of course. I’ll have plenty of warning from my sparrows," Duvessa said. She waved her hand dismissively. "But if you want, I'll add it to my new checklist."

"And if you're seen inside the shop by the shopkeeper?" Seth asked.

"We'll just be quiet. No one will see us." Duvessa nodded again.

In her mind, I'm sure, she thought it easy-peasy to just be silent and nothing would go wrong.

"This is dangerous, Duvessa," Seth tried again.

Duvessa waved off his concern. "It’ll be an adventure!"

They were determined and wouldn’t be dissuaded.

Booth was practically rubbing his hands. I knew he intended to profit off of this endeavor, but I was rather surprised he was willing to attempt it. He should understand the risks in a way I didn't think Duvessa could. Maybe he was more motivated by money than I'd thought.

Owen's brain had turned off. A pretty girl touched his arm and asked him to do something stupid. Of course he said yes.

"What will you do if you are caught?" Seth asked.

"Call grandma," Duvessa said, unconcerned.

Oh ho! There it was, the reason Duvessa thought this was in the bag. She didn't think anything bad could possibly happen.

I could see Seth giving up.

"I'm on probation, Duvessa. I can't be caught up in stuff like this. I don't think even your grandmother could keep me from being expelled," Seth said. "And you all need a better plan. You need a way to get out without getting caught." He held out his hand to Booth. "Are you really confident that your friend's grandmother will get you out of trouble too? Or will she blame you for corrupting her granddaughter?"

"Of course grandma will help my friends!" Duvessa was scandalized at the thought that grandma wouldn't.

Yeah, I know, Duvessa. Of course our parents and guardians always do whatever we want however we want. That always works out great for everyone. I snorted. Not. One day you'll realize that knocking over businesses isn't normally rug swept, even when you're affluent.

"My answer is no. I just can't. I'll be expelled for sure," Seth said.

Duvessa didn't like that. "This is so unfair. Stupid probation." She slammed her pen down. "We need your help. Blaise needs your help."

Oh, no, Don't yield to their guilt trips, Seth! This can't end well for anyone.

He looked at me finally, and I shook my head again. This was bad from start to finish.

Seth turned away from Duvessa's wall of crazy to face her. "I want to help Blaise, but this isn’t going to help her. And we are just going to get ourselves in trouble. Trouble I can't afford."

“You know,” Owen said thoughtfully, “we don’t actually cast any spells or do anything when we close our doors, but all of our doors have magic locks on them already. Are you sure you can pick this lock?”

For a moment Seth felt really relieved.

“I’m sure I can get it open,” Booth said. “I know a guy with a skeleton key. It can open any lock, unbar any door, and allows passage through any barrier.”

Waaaah? Booth had my complete and undivided attention now.

“And he will give that to you?” Duvessa asked excitedly. “You have such great friends!”

“Yeah. Give it.” Booth rubbed his forehead.

“That’s a really powerful artifact,” Owen said to Booth. “Are you sure it can do all that and it’s not just a rumor?”

"It can. It'll take some convincing to let me borrow it though."

Yeah, I know you ain't gonna borrow it. No one would ever lend something like that. And if you can lift it from them, maybe I can lift it from you. I don't like taking from the people around me though. This isn't a matter of honor amongst thieves so much as you don't shit where you eat. But by the grace of itty bitty pineapples I'm not passing up the opportunity to acquire a universal door opener. We'll just have to see how that part shakes out.

“Is that your whole plan, Duvessa? Booth uses this artifact, you walk into the shop, search it, and leave?” Seth asked.

“Exactly.”

“And you have no contingencies for guards in the area, for wards or alarms, or any traps or such in the shop?”

“There aren’t any of those,” Duvessa said with confidence. “It is just a regular store.”

“Alright. What will you do if something goes wrong? Like the shop keeper wakes up, or hears you, or something else happens?”

“Ugh, you are such a worry wart! This is going to be super simple, we walk in, be quiet, find the papers we are looking for, and leave. Since we aren’t touching anything in the shop, we don’t need to worry about all that other stuff!” Duvessa insisted.

“Seth, this guy is just one shopkeeper. What could he have that would stop us from just looking?” Booth tried to reassure Seth.

Oh I dunno, Booth. But there is a tree carving in a coliseum here that was protected by murder wards. I'd want to be way more careful than you bozos are being.

Poor Seth. Here he was, watching his friends blindly jump off a cliff without knowing what they'd be landing on. “When are you doing this?”

“Tonight,” Duvessa said. “There’s no class tomorrow, so we can sleep in afterwards. It’s the perfect time!”

Seth found himself shaking his head. “This is crazy.”

“Ugh. If you aren’t going to help us, then you should leave.” Duvessa stamped her foot and then pointed a finger under his nose. “And you better not even think about tattling.”

“I get it, Seth,” Owen said. “You don’t have to.”

“Yeah, it'll be better if you go, but no snitching, yeah?” Booth said.

“I’m your friend, I wouldn’t do that. I seriously think you guys are not thinking this through. Be careful, okay?” Seth scooped me up and left the room. As soon as we were out the door I wiggled down.

"I'm right, aren't I? This is a bad idea?" Seth asked me quietly once we were in the hall.

'Yes,' I nodded as firmly as I could.

"We can't just let them burn." Seth had both his hands on his head and was pacing in a circle.

I fundamentally disagreed. If you did stupid shit, you deserved what you got.

"There is no way they don't get caught." It suddenly looked like he'd had a bit of inspiration. “Keep an eye on them for me? I’ve got some things to take care of.”

Well okay then. So much for staying out of it. At least the kid didn't seem to want to participate directly. I watched him stride purposefully down the hall.

Then I scratched at the door to be let back in. Man, my claws are sharp.