The servants don’t need to wake me the next morning as I open my own eyes a half hour before dawn with an excited energy. I rush to the roof, ignoring the reposed bodies of last night’s guest lining the halls and lawn. I chant the lines for the next version of the animal talk spell, and feel the world’s acknowledgement growing as the light creeps over the horizon. The fiery orb is just gushing over in a liquidy orange line when the deal snaps into place and I know I can now cast it.

I sigh in relief. The avenues this opens up… earning the bird god’s favour not least among them.

But first, a celebratory test.

Hehehe. I almost fumble the line in giddiness as I spot one of the cat’s I’ve been feeding creeping up to the kitchen door. “Hello!” I say through the connection.

The cat jolts from the sensation, looking around for the source until the spell guides its attention to me. It meows in my mind, which the spell translates as a skittish “Hello.”

“It’s not time for food yet. Would you like some pettings?”

“…Yes, two leg mother.”

“I’ll be right down.”

I leap down from the five story roof, trusting my enchanted cloak and boots to land softly. It’s still good magic training time, but it would almost be rude to the world to ask for more now. I pet and groom the cat, which I now see to be a tri coloured mottled furred older cat that was one of my first.

It immediately uses its new capacity for speech to its benefit, directing my attention to areas that it wants particular attention and tells me about some joint pain. Unfortunately, while I know herbal remedies for similar human pain, none of my books mentions if the plants are safe for cats. I’ll have to get a specialist book, since I don’t want to risk poisoning one of them and get cursed by their god so soon after gaining their favour.

I play with it for a while, then tell it to paw on my leg, with the claws retracted, if it wants to talk to me when I’m not connected. Or to the servants if I’m not around and they want to find me. We play a bit with some string, which attracts a few more. Through experimentation I can keep a strained connection to three animals at once, or one if I maintain a shield or other spell. I tell the others the same instructions on how to initiate conversation then go to my sword lesson, not wanting to be late.

Alan isn’t there yet, so I go over my stretches and basic swings. My mind wanders to the communication spell and what birds I should first try to make contracts with.

I don’t know the names of all the small bright birds, especially here. Finches and robins are the only ones I remember from back home, and I have no idea if they have those here. Still, there seems to be any number of varieties that will serve the role. They just have to be small to go unnoticed and willing to perform simple tasks for food or protection.

Ideally I should contract with multiple species that are active during different times. Diurnal birds should be easy, but I don’t know of many nocturnal species. Owls certainly, though I’m hesitant to include any predators since I don’t want to have to routinely provide animals for them to kill. Having one bird be larger would also be nice to carry things, but again those tend to be predators. Herons or other water birds might work since I don’t mind killing fish as much, but I would probably have to leave the capital to find one.

The only other ones I know that aren’t exclusively carnivores are crows and ravens. They seem like a good choice, but… I’ve always found them a bit disconcerting. I know I should respect them because they will consume my flesh one day, but…

Oh, wait, maybe they won’t... I forgot, the Arkothans bury their dead. If I’m successful in my impersonation, then when I die my body will be put in the ground. It won’t be taken to a high place for the birds to consume my flesh and carry it across the winds, spreading my life’s essence to the whole world. I’ll be trapped in a box, my nutrients wasted, giving life to nothing.

… Alan is late.

I storm through the halls, stepping over drunk guests to reach his room. The door is ajar, so I enter without knocking. Sleeping naked on the bed is Alan and four others.

Using the cat’s grace I silently walk to a magic water basin, touch the symbol to fill it, and then dash the contents onto his face, careful not to splash the others– they did no wrong.

“Ah, what?! Why… Malch!? What was that for?!” He shouts, which does unfortunately wake a few of the others.

“You’re late. Again.” I storm back to the training hall before he can say anything.

I go over the solo exercises again, seething, my form deteriorating with every swing. What did I even expect?

Alan enters hastily dressed, his curly hair still wet. He picks up a practice sword and comes to me, but I go back to the wall and put away my sword. “The time for the sword lesson is over,” I say.

“…You seem upset, do you want to talk?” he says, voice strained.

“… Do you have the silencer?”

“Office,” he says, leading me to the suggested room. The air wobbles as he activates the device, but he just stands there, facing away and rubbing his eyes, giving me the initiative.

“It’s your schedule, the least you can do is keep it, or tell me when you’re planning on missing a lesson.” I say, not hiding my irritation.

“I had hoped you’d be more tired after relaxing last night,” he says, turning to face me.

“You chased me away from the fun, remember?”

“I didn’t want you to be taken advantage of by them, but there were plenty of other things to do. You didn’t have to go to bed.”

“Yes,” I sneer, “I believe we stepped over a few of the ‘things to do’ on the way here.”

“That was after. I’m trying to get you to relax. You’re too tense, like some idea of a perfect little soldier. Not everything is a fight. It’s like you treat every page you read as an act of war.”

“Because it is!” I shout, utterly disappointed at his utter lack of sufficient seriousness. “The more knowledgeable, the more prestige I gain the better positioned I’ll be to help my homeland. But of course, you don’t care about that. After all, you only ever helped us for your own profit.”

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

“Me? Only for profit? You know that’s not true. I have beliefs. If I didn’t I would have killed you on our first meeting. But what about you? How do you have the gall to accuse me of acting solely for profit when you used the war as an opportunity to send hundreds of souls, mostly civilians, to eternal torment for your own power? No, not even power, just pleasure.”

“I did my duty. Gebal understood. He wouldn’t have kept me around if it was just for my own benefit.”

“Who the fuck is Gebal!?” he shouts.

“My cell leader. The one who saved me after I left the cult.”

“Oh, right, the one who brought an eleven year old into a terrorist campaign. I definitely care about his understandings.” He rolls his eyes sarcastically.

My blood boils, but I hold myself back– shouting instead of striking. “I did my duty, as well as any other! Don’t say otherwise!”

He sighs and rubs his face. I watch him, waiting for his next move, but instead he deflates. “Of course you did. I would never suggest otherwise. But…Listen, that schedule… it’s based on what I gave my other pupils. The idea was to start out with a strict schedule to get them into the right headspace, and impress their parents since they don’t know any better and think a strict teacher is automatically a good one. Usually after a few days the student complains, and we’d negotiate things to something more relaxed. That way they feel they have agency in their own education and feel obligated to do what they themselves agreed to.

“But instead of negotiating down, you took the schedule and crammed even more studying into it. Filling your meal and bath times with more reading. So, I felt I had to do the opposite of normal and find reasons for you to take breaks. I suggested you roam the city, but you decided to use that time to hunt boons. I suggested you take up art with exam points as bait, but you decided against it, saying you didn’t think you’d get good enough in time to turn anything in for the exam. I thought we could make a day of shopping for your exam gear, but you left me behind and spent all your money, then looked miserable everywhere I took you for relaxation after.”

“I enjoyed the restaurant,” I say, in rebuttal.

“Barely. You enjoy good food because you have to eat and so might as well gain pleasure from it, but you hardly noticed the music or the view. Then at the tailors you didn’t engage in the selections and I had to decide everything for you. Then at the party you made a disturbing anecdote about cannibalism, danced once, and then spent the rest of the night trying to lose what money you didn’t spend on magic items gambling.

“So, you may be annoyed with me for failing to uphold the schedule, but I’m just as annoyed with you for being such a tight ass.”

“…I do relax. I like the baths, and while I do it for the boons I enjoy playing with the cats.”

“Yes, but that’s my point. The baths are relaxing, but you add studying to them. The cats are fun, but you do it for a boon. Everything you do that gives you pleasure also gains you a benefit. So efficient. There’s nothing that you do just because you want to for its own sake.”

“… I don’t see how that’s a problem. If what benefits me also gives me pleasure then that’s a good thing.”

“It’s a problem because if there’s nothing you do for its own sake, then what is even the point? What good is saving Caethlon if there’s nothing you love in it?”

“…You’re just like Timos.” I mutter under my breath.

“Who?” He asks.

I shake my head, having forgotten just how sensitive his hearing is. “It doesn’t matter. I do some things for their own sake without seeking benefit.”

“Oh, what?”

“…There was a goat on the boat ride over here. I invoked a curse from its god in order to pet it without thinking I’d get a boon.”

“That was what? Three weeks ago? What have you done since?”

“… I don’t see how that’s any of your concern. Why do you care? You’re only hosting me because I was foisted upon you, and you thought I might be able to disrupt your business arrangements if you turned me away.”

“Again, that’s not true. Don’t assume you know my motivations. I care because I choose to, and that’s all that’s needed.”

“Yes, you are prone to that aren’t you? I think I spotted several people you chose to care about in your bed just now. Shall I follow suit?”

“You object? I didn’t realize you were a prude.”

“I’m not, except when it impedes the mission.”

“Of course, the mission. But no, you shouldn’t follow my example there. You wouldn’t be able to handle the lifestyle. You’re too serious. You’d be consumed by emotions, both yours and theirs, and self-destruct. Cause a scene at the very least.”

“Right, like the scene you caused at the card game last night? Let’s add that to the list then. I enjoyed it, not because I thought I’d win money to further the cause but ‘for its own sake’, as you put it.”

“I didn’t want you to become like me when I was younger. In debt and chasing the thrill of a big win.”

“I don’t see what the matter is. With your enhancements to vision and ability to control your body to such a degree it should be nearly impossible for you to not make money. How much did you win after I left anyway?”

“…I lost three large gold.” He says, evenly.

I blink. “How!? I nearly had the viscount figured out and your senses are way better than mine, not to mention your experience.”

He sighs. “I lost because the viscount invited me to play as an apology for my outburst. Do you think it would be a good apology to take all their money?”

“…So, she used her greater social status to pressure you into losing?” I ask, shocked.

“Not exactly. It’s more that politeness dictated I’d take a loss.”

“But it’s a game, a competition. Surely etiquette would demand you try your best. Isn’t that what you taught me?”

He shrugs. “In most cases, but… it’s complicated. It’s why I didn’t want you to get involved with them– you don’t understand all the rules yet, the hidden ones. It’s pointless if you win at the cost of your reputation in high society.”

“…I’m sorry, I’ll...” I’m about to offer to pay the money back when I realize that would be stupid. “No wait, I’m not sorry. It was your outburst. You chose to have it. I still don’t even understand why you were upset on my behalf in the first place. It certainly wasn’t because of a ‘promise’ with a cousin you never met to protect the person impersonating her son like you told them. And if you had to resort to that lie to explain it to them, I can’t imagine how you’ll explain it to me who knows the truth.”

“…I don’t even know myself sometimes.” He says, then under his breath. “Is it just guilt, or…” He trails off, remembering that I have sensitive hearing too. “It’s nothing. I’ve just seen a lot of confident young nobles fall prey to them. I didn’t want it to happen to you.”

“I think you’re forgetting, I won money last night.” I say.

“Yeah, and Talia was about to take it all away from you. I’ve seen it happen so often, I’ve even done it myself. Let the new kid gain confidence by winning against a rube, then take them for all their worth and more.”

“…Fine, I’ll trust you know what you’re talking about, but that doesn’t excuse you being late. I don’t care that you were hoping I’d relax, or you think I don’t do anything healthily. If I can’t rely on you to teach me, then I’ll go elsewhere for tutelage.”

“You’ll be caught. Your etiquette training isn’t where it’s at to fool anyone who spends that much one on one time with you.”

“Maybe, and maybe you’ll be too. But I can’t stay with someone who I can’t rely on.”

“Such an ultimatum for a little tardiness… Fine. I swear that until the exam I will place your education at the highest priority, not missing a single lesson and arriving at every appointment at the earliest possible time. But I have conditions for you too.”

“Speak them.” I say, trying not to show my willingness.

“You need to do activities just to relax. To… build yourself as a person outside of the mission. You need to find something and spend at least a few hours a week doing it. Also, you’re taking up painting.”

“…Fine, but I need an archery range.”

“Why, I thought your spell took care of aiming for you?”

“For when I don’t have time to cast it.”

“…I suppose that might come up. Just for short range? Since otherwise you’d have time?” I nod. “I have a room downstairs that should do. It’s meant for amusement, but it can serve for training.”

“Good,” I say. “Now, that’s settled. This conversation is cutting into bath time.” I turn to the door.

“Wait.” He calls and I stop. “You haven’t told me what you’re going to do to relax.”

“… I’ll hire some musicians to play for me in the bath.”

“Do you like music, or are you just trying to appease me?”

“… I don’t dislike music.”

“Name a song you like.”

“… Ah, there was a song the cell used to sing, it was about freedom and usually boosted morale. I thought it was very… rousing.”

“Sounds…functional.”

“I suppose. Look, I’m not going to be able to think of something on demand. I’ll try the musician and see if that satisfies. If not, I'll try something else. Good enough?”

“…I guess it’ll have to be.”

“Good, now you should tend to your lovers. I’m sure they found you rushing out on them stressful.”