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A Bizarre Turn of Events
Chapter 11: Soup’s On!

Chapter 11: Soup’s On!

Chapter 11: Soup’s On!

Cecily gasped. “What the actual f-”

“Move!” August yelled, starting to push her toward the trees. The scaly bears were barrelling toward them, knocking over tables as the other marketgoers dove out of their way. As they ran, the bears seemed to reroute their charge to follow them, letting out another roar. The monsters were almost on top of the twins when Cecily heard them stop and let out a surprised grunt. She glanced back and saw the bears with their faces covered in plates of lasagna.

Ravioli Girl was next to her a moment later, holding a spare plate of pasta. “Come with me!” she said, and Cecily and August started to follow at a sprint, leaving the clearing to enter the forest.

“Sure would be nice if I had something good for emergencies,” Cecily panted, doing her best to give Ravioli Girl a scathing look.

“What are you talking about?” The witch looked back and saw the locket bouncing against Cecily’s shirt. Her eyes widened. “Oh, did you open it?”

“Yeah, I opened it! Why the hell did you put a raccoon in there? And why did you tell me to open it in an emergency?”

“Oh, you’re the person she’s been talking about!” August exclaimed breathlessly from a few feet back. “I’m August, it’s nice to meet you!”

The lizard-bears roared again and began tearing through the trees in pursuit. “Why are they after you?” Ravioli Girl demanded. “Did you make them mad?”

“We’ve never seen those things before!” August answered. “I have no idea what they want!”

Cecily tripped over a tree root and gasped as she twisted her ankle in a way it was definitely not supposed to go. She quickly stood up, wincing at the pain in her ankle. “We try to have a normal day and get attacked by monsters. This is just our luck.”

Ravioli Girl stopped running and turned toward her. “Luck? That might be it! Are either of you on a Favor deficit?”

“We don’t know what that is! Shouldn’t we keep running?” Cecily yelled, taking a few painful steps away from the monsters. She started to leave Ravioli Girl behind, then thought of the wish-granting pasta that could get them home and pausesd. I can’t lose track of her again, dammit.

Ravioli Girl looked shocked. “You don’t know what it is? Have you never exchanged Favors?”

“I offered someone a Favor today,” August panted, also stopping and looking back at the bears that were quickly catching up to them.

Ravioli Girl gave a low whistle. “That must have been an enormous Favor if this is the bad luck. I hope you got something good for it.” She moved forward to face where the bears were approaching.

Cecily and August both looked at the bag of vegetables he was still holding. “You could have traded the locket,” he quickly pointed out.

“Oh, don’t you dare make this my fault!”

Before the argument could progress, the monsters had reached them, but Ravioli Girl was ready. She jumped into the air and shoved the entire plate of lasagna she was carrying into one of the monster’s mouths mid-roar. It froze, its large eyes widening, then turned into a dark green liquid and fell to the ground with a sickening splash.

Cecily screamed, horrified. “What did you put in that lasagna?” She heard August retch behind her.

The other bear paused, looking at the puddle that used to be its companion, then looked at Ravioli Girl and the two people cowering behind her. After a moment of contemplation, it seemed to think better of continuing its attack and instead sat on its green haunches and watched them.

“Seems like its anger is wearing off!” Ravioli Girl observed with a smile as she turned back to the twins. “Hopefully that means you’re back to neutral!”

“Please say something that makes sense,” Cecily groaned, feeling mildly nauseous. “I need you of all people to talk sense.”

“Can we talk away from the giant scaly creature?” August asked, already backing away slowly. Cecily tried to follow but must have shown her pain on her face because August immediately ran over to her and looked at her ankle. “Did you twist it?” he asked her, and she nodded. He frowned. “We’ll have to check it out once we’re out of the woods–both figuratively and literally.”

Cecily rolled her eyes but allowed August to put an arm under her shoulders so she could lean on him to walk, then they put some distance between them and the bear sitting next to its newly liquidized friend. Ravioli Girl followed, looking completely unconcerned with what she had just done. Of all the people we’ve met here, she may be the most terrifying, Cecily realized. Dark insults and killer robots were alarming, but this woman had just turned a ten-foot-tall creature into a puddle. With lasagna.

Once they could no longer see the scene of the crime, Cecily turned on Ravioli Girl, hoping her voice didn’t tremble as she pointed her finger in the girl’s face. “I want answers now. First off, what did you do to that creature?”

Ravioli Girl shrugged. “I fed it my lasagna.”

“And your lasagna killed it?”

The witch let out a confused laugh. “What? No! My lasagna just turns people into soup. It’ll wear off in a few hours.”

“Why does your lasagna turn people into soup?”

She shrugged again. “Beats me. It never makes for a great sale day, though.”

Cecily narrowed her eyes. “Are you joking?”

“No, that’s the truth! I guess most people don’t enjoy the experience.”

Cecily folded her arms and continued to glare at the girl, who was being far too cavalier about turning people into soup. What if someone got eaten while they were soup? What if someone got stepped in? WHY SOUP?

“Question Two,” August interjected, “what is a Favor deficit?” Cecily glared at him. She wasn’t ready to move on from the lasagna issue, but August was clearly anxious to get his own answers.

“A Favor deficit is when you give more Favors than you receive,” Ravioli Girl answered, looking at him curiously. “On a small scale it’s not too much trouble, but if you run a large deficit you end up with a whole lot of bad luck with no good luck to balance it out.”

“Wait, so Favors aren’t tasks you do for each other?” August clarified.

Stolen novel; please report.

“No, why would you think that?” Ravioli Girl furrowed her thin blue eyebrows. “Favors are luck. You’re giving someone else some of your luck. When everyone does it evenly, it balances out, but if someone gives or receives too many Favors, things can get a little… well, you saw how it can get.”

“But I only gave one Favor!” August protested.

“And we each gave Balding Man a Favor to make us a portal,” Cecily recalled, her eyes widening. “Right before he betrayed us and we got stuck here!”

Ravioli Girl looked intrigued. “You got stuck here? From where?”

“None of your business,” Cecily quickly responded. She knew August would be embarrassed by the rudeness, but she didn’t care right now. A day ago, she would have happily told their backstory to Ravioli Girl and asked for help, but that was before she knew the witch turned people into soup for a living.

“I have Question Three now,” Cecily announced. Ravioli Girl smiled expectantly. Great, she’s having fun with this. “The other day I got some ravioli from you.”

The girl’s smile widened. “Oh, I remember.”

Cecily felt her face heat up as she remembered the bowl of throw-up she’d left at their last encounter. “I was wondering if you could make us some more.”

August leaned in and whispered, “You want to eat her pasta after what we just saw?”

“The ravioli is different,” she whispered back.

Ravioli Girl’s eyes widened with recognition. “Oh, I see! You wasted your last wish so you want another one.” Her understanding tone clashed with her very judgmental-sounding words and Cecily found herself bristling. The blue-haired witch pursed her lips thoughtfully. “I don’t usually let people order ahead of time, but you seem to need all the help you can get, so… alright! Next time I have a ravioli day, I’ll give it to you.”

Cecily’s heart leaped. “Thank you! How soon can you make it?”

Ravioli Girl shrugged. “I have no idea! I’ll just have to see when the next ravioli day happens and let you know then.”

“What do you mean? Can’t you just get the ingredients and make ravioli?” Cecily’s heart was sinking again. Why can’t I ever get a straight answer?

“Not if it isn’t a ravioli day. I’ve tried to make the wrong dish before and it never works.”

“So, each day you can make a different food with a different ability?” August asked, apparently starting to catch on.

“Yes, but the days are random, so I don’t know when the next ravioli day will come. It is one of my less frequent dishes, so it could be anywhere from a few days to several months or more.”

Cecily limped over to a tree to bang her head against it. “Why. Is. Everything. Random?”

“Silly…” August put a tentative hand on her shoulder.

“I’m so done with this place, August!” she moaned, feeling dangerously close to tears. What is wrong with me today? I don’t cry! That’s August’s job! She felt his arm wrap around her but kept her face against the tree. “I’m done with magic, I’m done with meeting people, and I’m done with you!” She turned around to point at Ravioli Girl. “I thought you were going to be different, but you’re just as cooky and unhelpful as everyone else, with your raccoon necklaces and your stupid unpredictable pasta schedule.” Ravioli Girl’s mouth opened in surprise, but Cecily wasn’t done. “Also, here’s Question Four for you: why did you dye your hair that color? You look like a walking gender reveal.”

“I… I don’t know what that is,” Ravioli Girl said hesitantly, but Cecily wasn’t in the mood to explain her insults.

“Let’s go, August,” she muttered, trying to limp away. When August didn’t come to help her, she turned around. “Come on, let’s go home or across the river or anywhere that isn’t here.”

August stood his ground. “No,” he said, sounding almost as surprised as Cecily felt at his refusal. “No, Silly, we’re not leaving right now. I know this whole situation is confusing and complicated and frustrating as hell, but we can’t keep starting over every time we hit an obstacle. One of these days we need to choose a path and stick to it, and I want to stick with this one, at least until we know where it leads.”

Cecily stared at her brother. It was rare for him to put his foot down like this, and she was simultaneously proud of him and irritated that he chose now of all times to make a stand. He was right, of course: they would never meet a normal person here, so if they kept waiting for one, they’d never make any progress. Cecily knew that, but she’d still spent the last two months trying to find someone and something that made sense to her. Maybe it was time to give in to the nonsense.

She took a deep breath and tried to get a grip on her emotions. “Okay,” she finally said. “Okay, let’s try.”

Ravioli Girl was watching them patiently. “You two clearly have something going on right now, do you need me to go?”

“No!” Cecily said, holding up a hand. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier, we would love your help if you’re still willing to give it.”

Ravioli Girl grinned. “You say some very confusing things, but it’s kind of funny! I think I like you.”

“I say confusing things?” Cecily asked archly, then realized that her Earth terminology was probably just as unfamiliar to the people here as theirs was to her. Damn empathy. I really am turning into August.

“Shall we walk back to the market?” August suggested. “We can talk more on the way.”

The three of them started the journey back, giving a wide berth to where they had left the scaly monsters. August was supporting Cecily again, and he also found her a walking stick for some extra assistence. “So, what other pastas do you make?” August asked Ravioli Girl as they walked.

“Oh, I have lots, plus a few foods that aren’t pasta. Let’s see, you already know about the wish-granting ravioli and the lasagna that makes you soup, and there’s also a nice tortellini that makes you bouncy, fetuccini that shrinks you, cannolis that let you summon lightning, gnocchi that makes you invisible…”

“Do you make spaghetti?” Cecily asked, naming one of the only other Italian foods she knew.

Ravioli Girl stiffened and looked at her sharply. “Do not eat the spaghetti.”

Cecily and August exchanged a look. How could it be worse than turning into soup? Cecily wondered, but she didn’t press the matter. Instead, she asked, “Do you have any foods that could create portals or allow someone to move between worlds?”

Ravioli Girl pondered for a moment. “No, but I do make a great tiramisu that lets you see through space and time, so that could at least allow you to look at another world, even if you can’t go there.” She raised an eyebrow at them. “Why are you so curious about other worlds anyway?”

Cecily paused. “We’re just…”

“From another world.” August interrupted her. Cecily looked at him sharply, but he shrugged at her. “If she’s going to help us, she needs to know what’s going on.” To Ravioli Girl he continued, “We’re from a place called Earth and we got stuck here a little over two months ago, so we’re trying to find a way back.”

“Really?” Ravioli Girl’s face lit up. “That’s so interesting! What’s it like on Earth? Is it very different from here?”

Cecily let out a laugh. “Oh, it’s about as different as you can get. There’s no magic, for one thing, and people act very differently there than they do here.”

“How so?”

“Well, they don’t have any supernatural abilities, they’re more predictable and much more organized. I suppose they’re more greedy and selfish there, too… also more violent.”

“But Earth has its perks, too!” August jumped in. “There’s science that kind of takes the place of magic, there’s so much great art and literature, and it’s much easier to share them with a lot of people because of the technology we have.”

Ravioli Girl nodded thoughtfully, then moved until she was walking very close to Cecily and leaned in until her nose was almost poking Cecily’s cheek. “You don’t seem that different, other than the way you talk and how you seem to panic about a lot of stuff.”

Cecily felt herself blushing and leaned slightly away from Ravioli Girl’s intrusive examination. They were almost back to the market and she looked forward to being back in the open air instead of navigating around trees and magical chefs that didn’t understand personal space.

“So, Ravioli Girl,” she started, then stopped and blushed harder as she remembered that the girl’s name wasn’t actually Ravioli Girl. “Sorry, I… That’s what I’ve been calling you in my head. You probably have a real name, don’t you?”

August nudged Cecily and gave her a pointed look. Ask for her name, he mouthed to her. Cecily cleared her throat. “What’s your name?” she asked for the first time since ending up in this world.

Ravioli Girl smiled at her. “My name is Echo.”

Cecily blinked. That’s actually a nice name, she thought, comparing it to the other people they had met here, whose names seemed to be random words with no aesthetic value. It was still hard to think of the witch as anything but Ravioli Girl, but if she had to be called something else, she could have done a lot worse than Echo. After a moment she realized Ravioli Girl/Echo was still talking. “Sorry, what was that?”

“I was asking what your name is.”

“Oh, I’m Silly,” Cecily answered without thinking, then froze. August was the only person that called her that, and she had never in her life introduced herself by her nickname. Why did I say that? What is wrong with me today? August’s eyebrows were raised almost to his hairline as he gave her yet another significant look.

“Nice to formally meet you, Silly,” Echo–no, she’ll always be Ravioli Girl–said, patting her on the shoulder. Cecily figured it was too late now to correct her name, but she looked at Ravioli Girl’s sincere, trusting face and realized that she didn’t really want to anyway.