“Damned monster…” Grumbled out the spearman priest. I can see that my dust bomb didn’t leave him unscathed. His armor got turned to scrap and he’s missing his left forearm. He has some burn scars, but it seems he got healed enough to stand. Three men other than the nature priest weave together green mana while chanting their prayers, preparing for something big no doubt. “... I should just dig its heart out and offer it to Lady Rahena…” I wish he would have just died there, but no, they were prepared for what I could throw at them.

“Be silent, warpriest. I will skin that thing for all its worth myself. If not for the goddesses being the only reason that sack of-” That inhuman thing with sparks and flame dancing around him makes me the most worried. I’ve recovered enough to run again, even if I am still pretending to have collapsed, only because that thing could kill me in the blink of an eye if he really tried. I can see the mana in him. I don’t usually see mana through meat or walls, the only exception being mother, and even that’s a rather recent development. He’s not on her level, but he is strong enough and with so much mana constantly moving through him, that I can’t call him a human being.

“Your Grace, those are treasonous words when spoken around so many men. The goddess has merely asked to check each individual young dragon herself, it will not take much longer for us to call upon her.” My skin crawls at the simple mention of divinities, some instinctual anger flaring up and making me rumble. On one hand, I never much liked gods as anything other than funky magic people with wild stories. There were good things done in their name, but the atrocities outnumbered that a thousand times over. The mere idea that there are actual active gods here, pulling strings and toying with mortals… Well, while not overly surprising, it still makes me furious. Plus, it seems my instincts disagree with their existence too.

I turn my ears away from the invaders, knowing that they will at least not attack us until that goddess does whatever she wants… I need a way out. Ayrah is holding unto a javelin she got at some point, looking ready to fight in spite of her feeling sick. She’s good at looking stoic, But I can see the way her body trembles, and from the way the other two act, it’s clear being in close proximity to the pillar as it runs wild is causing some form of harm. Now that I think about it, all of them have less mana than me at this point, so maybe it is like that time I sank in the lake. It’s just so much that it starts forcing itself into people’s bodies, making changes like it does to the flora and fauna.

Alright, time to think. I can recover mana and even use some of the mana around to form some spells. I have some wind and chaos mana, so I could mix up a spell and see what happens… No, I can’t rely on chance. I can’t fly out of here either. The wyverns are big and fast, plus there’s so many magic users around that I don’t doubt they’d shoot me out of the sky, plus my wing is already wounded, so who knows if I’d even take off? Killing everyone around is also a no go, even if I manage to cast a spell with the potency to do so. A handful of them would manage to pull some kind of protection, or just be too tough, and then I’m dead meat.

Can’t run, can’t fight, can’t even keep anyone else safe so what the hell am I even doing? I have no options, to avenues, nothing that can… well, I do have this sword. It cuts great, it doesn’t take mana and despite the fact that I have no idea how to use it properly, my tails have been great so far. If I manage to distract and then kill the inhuman man using this… could I make it out? It’s risky, but after dealing with him I could weave spells and let the chaos mana take over and do its weirdness, maybe it would distract the weaker ones while I… we make it out. I’ll be damned if I listen to the impulse of leaving everyone else here as bait…

I am surprised as a large, beastly hand approaches and rubs my head, even scratching my horns. My eyes wander over to Ayrah, confused as she talks in her tongue, whispering. “I attack fire-fur. Fight long. You run.” I still have issues with her language, but I got the gist of it. She realized what I was thinking about and is making the decision for me. Ayrah’s been pretty good at reading me, so that doesn’t surprise me… but I don’t get it. Yvonne was sick, slow, dying. She didn’t have the energy to run anymore, so I understand her sacrifice. Plus, while she didn’t have much affection for me and mine, she was caring and loving to Edith and Alek, so for their sake I understood. Ayrah may also be very invested in Alek, but still, she’s able bodied, fast, she could take him and run off while the men are clearly focused on me. So why not use me as bait?

I open my mouth and make the smallest sound rune I can inside it, coupled with a transmutation rune. I am glad she taught me hunting commands first. “Stay.” Spoke out a voice that belonged to nobody. “Edith. You help.” I pointed my snout at the girl as she shivered, hugging Alek who was sweating like we were out in the desert. The boy cried, but all Edith could do was stare into nothingness, giving out the air of a flame that’s burning without oxygen. She’s angry, like me, but powerless… like me.

Ayrah gives me an inquisitive look, but then nods and goes to them. It looks like her embrace gives them a bit of comfort, but that’s too little, too late. We’re all going to die here if I don’t make an opening… but that monster is keeping his eyes on me. How can I take him by surprise…

A pulse of energy radiates outwards from the pillar, knocking down, and possibly out, the soldiers that were standing closest to the clearing. My eyes snap to the crystal that caused all this and I see it. I knew it was more alive than ever before, but now? Now I understand what is happening. When my siblings attacked and devoured their own pillars, some half-living spirits came out to fight and feed them. Spirits that denied me. Spirits that this piece of gemstone did not seem to have, until now. It’s only an outline, but I see something starting to form. The crystal is waking up… And the inhuman man is looking straight at it.

I do not hesitate anymore. I focus on the pillar as I slowly crawl away from it. It needs to be big, flashy, and loud. It needs to be a distraction, and what better distraction than the runes I got the most practice in. With desperation clear in my heart, I weave two different runes, using nothing but chaos mana. I weave the chaotic version of sound, coupling it with strength to ensure a strong volume, while also making the light rune and coupling it with the rune for range. The second spell is harder than the first, as I need to let the mana tell me how it wants to go, while still being light-shaped. Regardless, with a massive headache splitting my skull, the runes finish at the same time.

The reaction is worse than the attack from the pillar. Powerful, rainbow lights appear everywhere and nowhere, with no sort of logic dictating their pattern. The sound is worse. I could have used some battle song, or something grand and powerful, but I blanked out. Too much focus went to the runes and too little to my own memories, so everyone’s ears burst with the sound of hitting a stage mike against a massive speaker. Well, that is what I thought would happen, at least. I hear the sound but it is soft, yet the humans, aside from my own, are screaming. That’s even better than I expected, so I take the chance and rush with all my power at the man.

I think he screams, but I can’t hear it. I see him point his palm at me, but his magic doesn’t obey. He can’t chant like this. In a fraction of a second I reach him, jumping up and flipping so I can slice down using my entire weight. I’ll cut the bastard in two. His attack made me lose my siblings, his death is a must. I roar in anger, feeling a strange wave of relaxation as the sword digs into his flesh, drawing blood.

Then all the momentum of the sword ceases and I fall to the dirt, still clutching the damn thing in my tails. I hear an explosion behind me and the runes I formed collapse, electricity lingering in the air. I see everyone is safe, protected by the chaotic mana, but looking worse for wear regardless.

I hear a laugh and I am pushed back, the blade moving again. I am breathing heavily, suddenly finding myself very close to a lot of powerful people and very much unprotected by the pillar. “You thought it would harm me?” Lips peel back a bit too much and I see a terrifying smile on the man’s lips. “You thought my family’s sword would disobey its rightful owner?” Powerful laughter and an even more powerful aura of flaming mana makes me lay flat on the ground. I am dead. I am so dead. “Don’t bother with your ritual any longer! The damned thing is just an animal, like all the rest. I don’t care anymore why those gods think the infants might be useful, I am skinning this thing. Now.”

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“Your Grace! Wait!” He does not wait. I scream powerlessly as the sword I had in my tails cuts its way free, severing them both on its way out. Tears flow out, breath quickens, pain doesn’t subside. This was a critical wound, I will bleed out if I let this be. My tails were too big to lose, I need to patch myself up, I need to burn the stumps, I need to do anything other than-

“YOU FOOL.” The man, holding that bloody sword, turns to look at a woman made of glowing green, a translucent image that I might have found beautiful if I wasn’t bleeding out. I can hear the faint whispers of chaos as they seemingly panic, talking of blood and death and skirting it. “We grant you your enemy and you dare disobey my direct order?! I should have your head for your insolence. If only our best weren’t busy trying to catch the ones you let escape, I might have gotten it.” I feel a tingle, mana is stopping my bleeding. I no longer feel the dread of death, but now I feel disgust as I stare at this sickeningly divine being having my life in the palm of its hand.

At least the monster is gritting his teeth and pulling back. “You did not grant me my enemy, the whore is still at large, while I have to sit here to keep watch of an infant. Go on then, oh great goddess, satisfy your whims so I can kill it and make that monster weep.” There is a tense moment and I hear whispers of what I am guessing means “blasphemy”, but it seems the goddess is more interested in me than him. Which is bad, because I see the greed in her eyes.

“So you were here.” Says the woman. A second later I realize I am not translating in my mind. “That annoying little soul… in a dragon’s body… no wonder you were so slippery. And already you look like such an abomination… The Red Sun might have left me to burn for the next millenia if I let you live out like this… Who knows what sort of change your knowledge could bring with such a body…” The thing speaks english. I can see the confusion on everyone else’s face, she is speaking so only I could understand…

“This would have been a great chance, but no, I can’t have a dragon roaming around with an unrestrained champion’s soul.” The woman looks down into my eyes and I see her smile beautifully, suddenly looking like a whole different entity. “Hello, ^()*&$$%(). I am Rirshka, Goddess of Fertility and Harvest, she who fed ten thousand souls, the twin of life. I am the one who called on you, you beautiful soul. Yet a mistake caused me to lose you and for you to be born in such a monstrous body!” My ears hurt as she said something that meant nothing, but then it all became better as she continued. She sounded like she was genuinely worried…

“Oh, you poor thing, how hard it must have been! To be so unsightly, to live like a beast, to kill and feast, to be driven by your greed and hunger, by your pride and wrath! Oh how many innocent humans you had to kill, you own, true kin, just because of this mistake…” It was… a lot… yes I had to fight, and live and almost die just because I was born in this body… I could hear faint whispers creeping in, but her melodious voice overpowered them.

“Come now, my child. I will take away your pain and give you that beautiful, strong body you deserve. Become a hero of legend and protect the innocents in my name, and I will care for you forevermore!” She was close, so close despite me crawling away. Why was I backing away in the first place? She’s giving me the option, the chance, the choice to be better! Not a monster, but a human. A champion backed by an empire and its gods. A hero… who doesn’t want to be a hero? Who doesn’t want to serve something so grand and beautiful and loud why is my brain so loud-

The strings get cut and my body collapses like a lifeless puppet. Inside my soul I sit on a comfortable chair, sipping from an imaginary tea that tastes of lavender and vanilla, then calmly speak out that she’s so full of shit. She is. I haven’t even killed humans since becoming a dragon, at least until she brought an army after me. My instincts were shouting how much I hated her, yet the second she spoke out I became entranced. Mind magic, it’s always mind magic… but no, this wasn’t actually that. This messed with my emotions, but not my thoughts. She pulled out insecurities and traumas, amplified them a hundred times and then made me drown in them.

She is threatened, no, multiple gods are threatened by the thought of me roaming free, not just as a dragon, but as a dragon with my knowledge. She mentioned “unrestrained” and how she would take my pain away… She’s planning to chain me. She’s planning to kill me, rip out my soul and put it in some human body, then groom me to be her hero, while possibly cutting away any memory that might make me act against her interests.

I need help. I need to run. I need to strike back and run. If I let her rip out my soul, I could become a slave forever. Fuck being a hero, I’ll be the big bad if that’s the only way to be free and safe. Plus, she and hers killed people I really liked. I can’t let her do all that and get what she wants.

I can’t get properly mad in here, but I do feel that I will be very violent the second I pull out. I don’t know how to handle this power of hers, but I do know what I can do to throw her off. She plans to control my emotions, I just need to remain halfway here.

And that is what I do. Like before, whenever I had to draw information from my past, I feel the part of myself that thinks with hardly any emotion, that collection of what I was, and I make sure to not stray from it.

“Come now, my beloved child. Look how tired you are. How weak you’ve become. Let me take your pain and save you from breaking apart!” She’s way too close, and she looks intangible. Just a cloud of mana in the shape of a woman… Her hand is close, so close… and I bite it while thinking of the chaos wrapping around my teeth. She pulls away with a scream as I devour two fingers, which expand into entire clouds of weird mana. It feels weird, but usable, if only I change it a bit with my own knowledge.

“YOU BASTARD CHILD! AGAIN YOU WOUND MY HANDS! I WILL TEAR YOU OUT AND HOLLOW YOU INTO A MINDLESS PUPPET!” I pour all the mana I can into a breath attack, chaotic acid shooting through her and melting a few of the fallen priests behind her, but it seemed that even her form was losing its neat appearance. If there’s one thing chaos did well was infect and alter mana. She screamed as I ran away, back to the pillar.

“Kill him! I no longer need him alive. Kill him and bring me his heart! I will personally aid you with his mother, Duke Varkrm, if you kill that animal.” I didn’t need to look behind to know both of the monsters were coming at me. I had no idea what I could do at this point, there was so much happening that I couldn’t even think of a good plan. So, when in doubt, listen to the voices in your head, and the voices were saying to brace by the pillar.

Once there, I just looked at Ayrah, who now stood hunched, body trembling, spear almost breaking in her hands, but she was ready to die on her feet. Even Edith had flame in her hand, though it paled next to the inferno that followed me. The voices weren’t scared, but everyone here was. I had no idea what I could do, so I turned around, back against the pillar, looking at the monsters coming our way.

“Finally. All this theater was annoying.” Spoke the man as he raised his sword, cutting through the very magic in the air.

“Waste of my mercy.” Mumbled the goddess as she raised her hand, a powerful pressure coming down on us.

I dearly wish I was somewhere safe instead, yet the chaotic mana was still cheerful, as if whatever was happening was useless. “Wait.” “Tremble!” “Fly!” “Sibling.” “Save!!”, the words kept on coming, but death looked me in the eyes, and for the second time today I was spared. The sword swung towards me, the pressure kept me in place, hell, even the sky became thunderous and lightning shot at me… but then the word itself shook and what aimed at me instead struck the crystal, shattering it.

“Save! Sibling.” Screamed mana, of all things and I saw the face of the goddess and duke fall. Behind me… I looked behind me and I saw in the distance what caused the earthquake. I could see mother’s mountain over the treetops… Not because it became taller, but because it took to the sky. Time felt like it stopped, the obelisk of chaos being shattered, but its pieces floating upright, dense mana accumulating in between… And then it took form.

A dragon’s head, then another, then tens more. Heads, some malformed, some whole, yet all linked to each other. Some had more body, some had no body, but the spirit-like amalgamation of chaotic mana was shaped like tens of dragons stitched together, all shouting a garbled mess that I understood as unaccomplished familiar affection. A lingering idea, a fragment of desire. A simple wish. To fulfill my own wish. My wish of safety.

Reality warps around us and I black out, finally taking a proper rest.