“…”

‘…’

Pitch black. I found myself in pitch black darkness. With some form of a waterish fog body at my feet.

Everywhere I looked, wherever my eyes went. All I could see was a never ending darkness. Darkness that had swallowed me whole. Or was I a part of the darkness itself?

Was I standing? Or was I sitting?

I didn’t know.

Where to go?

Where am I?

How am I?

Who am I?

I found no answers to my queries. So I started walking. Crawling? Running? I didn’t know. All I knew was that I kept on moving.

Where? When?

For how long?

Why?

Questions that I found no solace in. Yet, they were the only proof of my existence.

I kept moving on, moving wherever my feet took me. At least, whatever I could call my feet. I had no limbs after all.

For a long, long time. Or was it merely a few instances? I did not know. How long must I go on? When will I see light?

What is light?

How do I know about it?

How do I know about darkness?

How do I know anything?

How can I think?

What is this?

Questions, questions, questions. Is this Hell? Or is this heaven?

Or is this simply a place one stays in before they reincarnate?

Or is this the void? Emptiness?

I feel like the latter is the most suitable to describe this.

Alas, I must keep moving. And hoping?

What is hoping?

‘…’

----------------------------------------

After what felt like an eternity of moving in every direction, with no guidance, I saw something.

I saw light. It was purple. I need to go there.

Will I die if I go there? Am I even alive?

What does it mean to even be alive?

Am I immortal?

Or am I yet to born?

Regardless of my thoughts — the only thing that reminded me the proof my existence — I kept moving. Moving towards that light.

It felt far. Very far. Simply nothing but a tiny speck in the eternal void.

Months, year, decades, millennia passed. Or maybe they didn’t.

I didn’t know.

But the purple light had grown bigger. It had grown brighter.

Maybe I had simply come closer to it now. Did I need to go on for as long as I had, again? More mindless, heedless, movement? Roaming?

Regardless, that’s what I did.

And my efforts were rewarded. The purple light grew stronger, brighter. Bigger. Once a tiny speck. Now it looked like a small ball. Closer. I needed to get closer.

So I did. Without limbs to move, without air to breathe. Without food to eat. Without an actual body to call my own. I kept on moving. Closer, and closer.

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How was I able to do this? How was I able to exist?

Am I even Alive?

That question continued roaming in my mind. Why was I obsessed with being… alive? What was being alive even meant for? What did it do?

Was it necessary?

OH! The light has grown stronger!

Indeed, I had gotten closer to it. Closer to it than to any other form of stimulation in this god forsaken void. Just a little bit more.

A little bit more.

This little bit more of mine went for far longer than I thought it would have. How much more?

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Some kind of ticking noise had begun. For what? It had sounded out thrice now. Again. And again. Relentlessly, steadily. It kept making its presence known.

I counted it. Numbers? How did I know about numbers? What do they do?

Ah. They are used for counting things. Adding. Subtracting.

Math.

Information had starting flowing into my brain. Some miscellaneous, some important? Some relevant? I could not for the life… or no life?

I could not for the thoughts of me discern what was what. So I did the only thing I could.

I kept counting. I kept moving.

The medium sized purple ball was a little clearer to see. It.. wasn’t a ball. It was a sort of fog. Gas?

Four hundred Ticks.

Five hundred Ticks.

Even closer to the purple fog. The purple shining fog. It was somewhat dark…? Deep? In color at the very least.

Six hundred Ticks.

Seven hundred Ticks.

I could clearly see the ball of fog now. It was half my size.

Wait. What was my size? How did I know what my size was? How could I discern it? I didn’t even have a body?

Ohhhhhhhhh!! My viewing level. The ball of fog floated above the clear waters, yet it could not reach the height that I saw in.

That makes sense.

Eight hundred Ticks.

The ticks had progressively gotten slower. Far, far slower. The ones at the near beginning were instantaneous. Yet now, they took a long time. If I didn’t have anything else to do, I might have messed up my counting.

Nine hundred Ticks.

Very very slow.

So slow in fact, that I had already come in front of the ball of purple fog. Is something going to happen?

Do I need to move more? Somewhere else? Find more of these?

No. I don’t know how, but I know I don’t need to move more. Whatever is to happen, will happen here.

Nine hundred and fifty ticks.

‘…’

Nine hundred and sixty ticks.

‘…’

‘…’

‘…’

Nine hundred and seventy ticks.

Oh? It sped up again! The ticking was faster than before.

Nine hundred and eighty ticks.

The ball of fog moved.

It shivered. It molted. If shook. It... expanded. And it slowly began engulfing my very being.

Warm.

Cold.

Safe.

Dangerous.

Contradicting feelings exploded out of me as I came into contact with this fog. What should I trust?

What should I not?

I don’t know.

Nine hundred and eighty seven ticks.

Nine hundred and eighty eight ticks.

Nine hundred and eighty nine ticks.

Nine hundred.

And ninety ticks.

‘…’

‘…?’

‘…????????’

Silence. Deafening silence. Why did it stop? Is something going to happen? Will I get some answers? Anything?

I did. I did get something.

“…!!”

I felt eyes on my back. Well, whatever I could consider my back anyway. Where my back should have originally been?

I turned around. And found a man standing in front of me.

A man in his late 20s, of a medium build and tall height. Bluish black hair that would probably shine in light, and a confused gaze that left the hazel colored eyes looking youthful and energetic. In complete contrast however, they also seemed to hide a history. A long, long history. All of that lay upon an above average face, almost looking as if a hot anime character came to life.

Wait no. His eyes, they weren’t confused. They were dead. They were scary. They…

They were hopeless? Insane? Broken?

...They were happy?

Just how much emotion could these two eyes contain?

The fog had grown denser. Thicker. Stronger.

This purple fog, it felt comforting. No matter how dangerous it may have been, could have been, it was still far comforting than this man in front of me.

He looked on for a bit more. A bit more.

A bit more. A BIT MORE.

Restless? Is that what I was feeling? The fog had almost covered me fully. My vision was partially blocked too. I couldn’t see the man’s feet.

But I could see his face.

He smiled.

He smiled and spoke a few words.

"‘Mi-fo-nae-e’"

Mi what now?

My puzzlement showed on my face. For some reason, I couldn't hear him. He had realized it too. So he stopped speaking, and instead started to mouth out each syllable, each letter.

'M'

M? M what?

Not paying heed to my confusion, he continued.

‘M - I - S - F - O - R - T - U - N - A - T - E’

‘???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????’

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...!...?

?

'...'

He continued. Now somewhat amused that I could finally understand him. His eyes had taken a crescent shape, His hair hiding half is face in near darkness.

Yet I could still see his eyes. They pierced through everything.

‘C—’

He paused. What did he plan to say?

He looked at me again. Smiling gently, almost as if a mother looking at her child.

His smile deepened, and he continued.

‘C - R - E - A - T - I - O - N.’

He completed his saying. What did he mean? What was he trying to say?

I could not think, for the fog now shrouded me. Shrouded my entire being, shrouded my thoughts. Yet, I got one last look at his face.

His smile.

His terrifying smile.

It had turned into a grin.

A grin of madness.

A grin of goofiness.

A grin of sadness.

A grin of happiness.

‘brothar!’

Hmm? Someone’s calling out to me.

Wait what?

My eyes opened, taking in the blinding artificial light. It took time to adjust to them. Yet even they did not shy away from glancing upon the raven black, purplish highlighted hair that greeted my vision.

Big round eyes, Purple irises. A small nose, and a small mouth. A little girl that looked no older than ten.

“BROTHA!” She shook me awake. And quite forcefully too.

“…Mana? What’s wrong? Wait.. where am I?”

Hmm?

“…”

Oh. I had… I had embarrassingly fallen asleep on the couch. That’s what a look at my surroundings told me.

I was dreaming. About what though... it seemed as if I had already forgotten.

“Mana?”

“…”

She was silent. Silent yet worried. It had gotten easier, far far easier to read her after I came back from my solo trip.

“Brothar…” She said mutely, -- almost whispering, her lisp still in place. “Yes?”

“Why are you crying? Nuh.. why were you crying while sleeping?”

'...'

I was what?