The More You Know, The More You Wish You Didn’t.

This statement resonated with me quite a bit. I didn’t know why, but I felt as if it was a direction to my experience. I kept these words in the back of my mind, for I knew they were going to come out of my own lips one day. And I feared that.

Most of the household chores were finished by 10. Mana was soon to sleep. The same went for the rest of my family. I supposed we were what others would call early sleepers. The night sky was beautiful to look at from the living room, for the weather had cleared its way for the stars. The entire family remained for a bit under the moonlight, silence and passage of time doing wonders in their wake. It was… Serene. My first day in this world, in this life. And my first day as Eon Aika — the son of Leon and Erena Aika, and the elder brother of Mananglathethalia Aika. It neared its completion. I still couldn’t hold my chuckles on the little girl’s absurd name.

”Peaceful isn’t it?” Mom commented from the side, having arranged some clothing back into the closets. “It is said that the Human Pillar of Creation sacrificed his sanity and willed the world to forever hold on to these moments of peace. This valley, Anikanontita, is known to be the most peaceful place in this entire world. Or at least that’s what we all believe anyway.” She chuckled on the last bit, her eyes reminiscing about something. On her words, I could not help but bring a question.

”If this valley is known as the most peaceful place in the entire world, then what about the opposite?” I looked at her. “ What is the most chaotic place in the world, Mom?” She remained silent, her lips pressed against each other in a regretful smile. “The most chaotic place in the world huh…” She said wistfully, making her way out to the garden connected to the living room. “Normally, I would have said that I didn't know.”

Thud!

Mana, once again up to her antics, fell down her sofa. “Oww..” She rubbed her back as she stood up, with Dad patting her head. I didn’t find it surprising to see her not tear up, for she always had some amount of pain tolerance. Especially with her expressionless face. I had only seen her cry once, and it was a reminiscence-esque indulgence towards the name of this valley.

Mom sighed from the side, a smile affixed on her face. She was used to such instances, I presumed. “Where was I?” She looked back at the crescent moon. “ Ah.. the most chaotic place in the whole world.” Silence permeated for a bit, I, and and to my surprise, Mana awaiting her next words. “Eon. If you ask this question to others, you will get a variety of answers. But most of them will point to not knowing anything about it — at least the people of the valley will say so.” That line did NOT sit right with me, most of the discomfort stemming from the latter half. Regardless, I let her continue. “Most discern such a place never to never have existed. The Human Pillar sacrificed his sanity to prevent it after all. Alas, there is something even he could not count for.”

She looked at me, staring right into my eyes. Almost as if she could understand me to the fullest, all my secrets — known and unknown — lay before her eyes.

”Our minds, Eon. Our minds.” She stated. “The Human Pillar forgot to account for the chaos that presided in our minds. Be it a human, or a demon. All alike, face the consequences of the Human Pillar’s actions. He didn’t want us to live in a chaotic, madness infused world. So he took all it upon himself. All in hopes that we would not need to live and experience what he had experienced. All in hopes that You would not need to live in such a horrifying world. He wished for himself to be the last person to deal with such things.” The image of him kneeling on the cathedral's spires came to mind.

She chuckled in derision. “Ironically, we bear the most striking resemblance to him, more now than ever before.” She stood up and stretched. “You should go to sleep now, we still have to wake up early tomorrow.” Then, she nodded to Dad, gesturing him to pick Mana up — much to her chagrin (I totally did not enjoy seeing her betrayed expressions as she was pulled away from her game) — and hoist her to sleep.

”An empty diary should be near your table brothaaaaa!” She said while flailing her arms, arguably a last sign of protest before leaving the living room.

As for the statement that she left me, I could not help but flinch. After all, how in the world did she know that I wanted to write a daily journal? I stood in contemplation for quite a bit. Soon enough, I gave up trying to make any sense of it. I presumed it to be a habit that I probably had from some god unknown time. Hence her immediate reaction.

I made my way up the wooden stairs, not forgetting to turn off the lights on my way. Entered my room, and there it was. A leather covered diary with inscriptions of flowers and and stars. Near the bottom edge of the cover lay two lines, presumably to write something to identify it. I sat down, and took a look at the pages. It was empty all right. I found the paper quality to be remarkable, it was sturdy enough to withstand rough writing.

I searched my desk drawer for a pen, I knew I had kept a few in there. A black ball pen made it’s way into my hands and soon, I started writing.

Journal Entry: 1. Date: 4th of September, 27,615.

"Dear Dairy, I took my first breaths into this world today. Granted, it wasn’t exactly my “first” per say, but for someone who’s lost his memories, it’s the same thing. I woke up on my bed, and met with a little girl. She was my sister, nearing 10 years(I think? I highly doubt someone actually stays as a 9 year old forever. Then again, with how the world has shown itself to be, I find myself not fully doubting the possibility of such a thing). Her name was really long and complicated to pronounce. Manananglathethalia. I still don’t understand what my parents were thinking when they named her. I don’t remember why I did not ask them when I had the chance, but I will do that soon. Talking about my parents, they are pretty cool people. Well, “cool” isn’t the exactly the correct word, but it will do. I can say without a doubt that they are very supportive. Both of them look youthful too, bantering with each other from time to time. Specifically speaking, Mom is normal. With an easy to read face — except in our final discussion— and a gentle aura. Dad on the other hand, he is a model father. I find that to be unnerving. He basically seems to be what a person would imagine a “father” to be. Other than that, he is a reliable man.

These people are the ones I feel most comfortable with. Mana, my little sister, does some questionable things and expressions at times, but I find that to be a normal activity for a 9 year old. Our day wasn’t anything new. At least for my family. We all had visited the Cathedral many times throughout our lives, and also visited the schools that “Eon” taught in. The market, the hospitals — how in the world does the existence of that thing make sense? — the super supplies storage, and basically the entire valley. Most gave a sense of nostalgia and unfound familiarity. The cathedral itself was a wonder to look at; both from the inside and the outside. I suppose more from the inside. A grand existence — I found this word the most suited to describe it — that broke physics and understanding. It hoisted the Pillars of Creation and a reverse Cross on it’s spires, everything on a scale made for giants. The inside was the most confusing and amusing thing. Absurd size of the hall, mystifying water, revolving gears, and a statue of one of the Pillars. All combined gave the sense of a different dimension. The elder that we met — on not so favorable terms — turned out to be the biggest source of information. He was also the biggest source of confusion that I had found.

The 12 Commandments to Survive a Demonic World, or The Demonic Commandments as I liked to call them. They had enough lore material to write entire books around. They were confusing, yet forced a certain level of strength on the world’s inhabitants. The discussion about their origin, and the exact nature of their existence. Such revelations were enough to leave me and my parents in prolonged contemplation. Somehow, in all this, I found the time dilation thingy of the Cathedral to be the most amusing part. If the elder spends all his time inside the cathedral(not confirmed), and looks like a 90 year old man, it raises some questions.

1. How big is his actual age in outside terms? Outside as in outside the cathedral.

2. Assuming that the time dilation inside the cathedral is always expansive, how long ago did the elder take his position? How long ago was he even born? To look that old?

3. For point no 2, is the age increase inside the cathedral relative to the time spent inside it, or the time that passes outside?

Many such questions pass my mind as I think about that mysterious place. And, all the events that happened after it. Mana crying on the accounts of the valley’s name, her timely disappearances to god knows where. The reaction of my parents, and the conversations that I had with them on multiple topics. The meeting with my “childhood friend”, Daemon Symfora, and my sudden irritation and hostility targeting him. Us talking, his reactions to certain events, and the goddamned normality of the entire thing. The discussions my family and I had as we made our way to our home, and also at the dinner table. Can’t forget the exploration of my room, and the tidbits that sparked sudden knowledge about demons. Then the last conversations with mom while basking in the moonlight, and then Mana’s mind reading of my want for you, Mr. Diary.

So many things have passed in just one day, nay, barely 16 hours. Yet I anguish at the thought that I cannot write it all down. I’m nearly about to fall asleep after all, and I find myself to simply be unable to refuse this urge. Is this the god’s or goddess’s doing? I don’t know.

Mr. Diary, till we meet again."

I put my pen down. Then, I picked it up once more. Something else had to be done after all. Resisting my urge to roll over and sleep till eternity, I closed the diary, and stared at the two lines near the bottom of the cover. I needed a name. A name for this journal. A name, so that I could direct my future self on where to find this diary.

The future self who had once again lost his memories. I could not find confidence in this “life”. I could not see the ending, where this curse of mine was resolved. Hence I did what I could. A recording of my “journey” per say. A journey that my future self could learn from.

Sighhhhhhhh. A name. I needed a name. Abruptly, in my hazy vision, I looked towards the board. I did not know what had come upon me, but I found a name for this collection of paper.

990.

I wrote, on the first line. The second would be written once I was nearing the end. From the discussions that I had, and the information that I discovered; I knew that I would recognize when I was about to lose my memories. I suppose that answered my question regarding Mana’s mind reading. Then, shouldn’t I have a diary related to my previous turn lying aroun———

I couldn’t complete my thought. My sleep, I needed to sleep. I put the pen down the table, not recognizing that it had fallen down. Quickly undressed and threw my clothes near the closet, and entered the blankets. It was cold, the sleeping naked part must have been a habit. Soon, sleep pulled me into its loving embrace.

With my thoughts leaving my mind, parting way for dreams and fantasies, my first day took its final closure.