He did not know how the enemy found him.

For many years, they managed to stay away from each other, going about their lives without the awful reminder that the other one existed. The sudden intrusion had to have had a real reason to even be considered a possibility. The curse had a wicked way of clashing their paths together, which often led to great disasters.

Some things were unavoidable, but Ullie would have liked to have avoided them for a bit longer.

Despite his disdain for hand-cast portals, he had a lot of trust in those crafted by portal masters. Instead of being weaved from patterns, these were built under a special system of coordinates that was established by mapping the energies of the world. If well made, they were durable enough to outlast empires, holding up as long as the sigils could draw power.

Being as old and experienced as he was, Ullie had discovered plenty of secret ways to get around the world. The circumstances had forced him to be on his guard and to traverse the continents in pursuit of whatever he deemed worth the trouble. Fortunately for him, these gateways existed in almost every convenient place and large enough city, creating an incredibly complex network of shortcuts.

"Works like a charm," he said joyfully, as he kicked the lid open with his foot.

After carefully scanning the night for danger he jumped out of the trunk. Except, it was not the rugged trunk buried under layers of old fabric he kept in his home, but the trunk of a red sedan. Hidden in plain sight, it gathered dust on a poorly lit parking lot. At that time of night, there were no witnesses and no one to ask questions about a strange man leaving such an unusual place.

Instinctively, he checked his body for signs of teleportation glitches, counted his fingers and toes, and tied his hair up to see better. He was certain that despite the diversion there was still a good chance he would get caught. It was an unwritten rule that once he was up against his equal, nothing was certain. He needed to get creative, and resort to trickery instead of magic, so as not to leave neon breadcrumbs for his pursuer.

As he prepared to cut through the world down a rather confusing wormhole, several crows paced on the tall sign above his head, the purpose of which had been hidden behind a swarm of legal papers stating that the place had been certified as "dangerously haunted".

The street lights flickered, and raindrops caught up with him soon after, but he did not stop to question his poor choice of footwear. The endless concrete wall, poorly drawn graffiti, and faded posters along the way did nothing other than remind him he was in a shady part of Helden, his least favorite place in the world.

"It's always been like this," he scowled shaking his head next to the ghost of the pale woman, whose unclenched jaw was frozen in a silent scream. He'd met her before, but she never seemed to remember him and always made poor attempts at being scary. "A bit of color wouldn't hurt them. Am I right?"

The ghost of the lumberjack who limped behind him had a chainsaw embedded in his thigh and for some reason, everything made him sad. He put his hand on Ullie's shoulder and wept like a baby.

"Yeah, I know you feel it too."

"I'm waiting for you, you know?" said an old man's ghost, whose long black robe floated around him as he used a staff made of skulls to move about. He was a ghost of a necromancer from many centuries ago, most likely killed in the purges, who tirelessly followed all the other ghosts around in a poor attempt to convince them they should help him with his "project".

"For me?" returned Ullie like it was the first time he'd heard such a thing. He'd arrived at the old construction site, and looked for the way inside that did not involve stepping into puddles.

"Yes, yes. You'll do just fine in my collection. When do you plan on dying?" the ghost insisted in a creepy tone.

"Ah, well, who knows," returned Ullie balancing on a plank across a long hole in the road. "Haven't had much luck with that."

"Things can be arranged. I could make sure of that," he added polishing the skull on the top of his staff. "You can die any time."

Having found his destination, Ullie waved goodbye to the small army of ghosts surrounding him. A part of him was saddened by their fate, but there was hardly anything he could do to help them. It was, after all, his enemy's department.

"Next time, I promise," he waved them goodbye as he closed the door of the mobile toilet.

***

"That's better," he squinted at the sunlight as he peeked outside the phone booth he was transported into. The windows were painted black and the phone was nowhere in sight, but the box remained as some abstract form of street art.

He stepped outside like he hadn't spawned there mere moments ago and headed across the street in an orderly fashion. He was far too absent-minded to notice there was no one else around. Walking down the sidewalk, he thought about his route and the timing of it all, counting on his fingers all the possible shortcuts he could take if trouble came knocking.

By the time he reached the end of the block, a storm of heavy footsteps caught up to him from behind.

"Stop right there," he heard someone yell. "Stop or we'll shoot."

"Shoot?" he turned around slowly, meeting the eyes of at least a dozen soldiers and their guns. "Not my favourite kind of deja vu," he added quietly.

"Who are you? You are not supposed to be here."

"I'm not the enemy. I am not a friend either," he said in a calm tone, as they aimed for his head. "I'll just be on my way now."

"At the ready soliders," one of them comaded holding his hand in the air. "Fire on my command."

He squited at them, trying to connect the dots between the most boring seaside town on the continet and a raging warzone from decades ago. It did not make much sense.

"Fire!"

With his feet firmly gripping the slippers, the wizard bolted forward, cutting through the street in a zig zag pattern.

"No, no, not again." The guns sounded behind him as he ran across a patch of dirt, connecting the streets with the beach beyond.

With every step he made, more bullets were fired exploding in the dirt left and right. Underequipped for such demanding work, the wizard tripped on a piece of debree and slammed to the ground. While his ears rang from countless explosions, he crawled around only to raise his head and face a barrel of a tank.

He considered running in those short moments but came to question the power of the curse to put him together after he'd become cannon fodder. He did not want to make the necromancer happy either.

"I really picked a day for this..." he looked deep down the long hole with gleaming eyes and a dirt in his slippers.

Before the string of his final thoughts had a chance to come to a conclusion, someone came yelling from behind.

"Cuuuuuut," the voice echoed through the street.

Ullie turned to see a short woman with a stack of papers under her arm and massive headphones around her neck. Her face had gone red with anger and she looked ready to do damage.

"Who did this?" she screamed pointing at Ullie. "Where's the blood? Where's the gore?"

Other ls followed after, coming from a corner he failed to see, gathering around like a swarm of flies.

He plucked himself from the ground, shook the dust off his back and smiled politely to the member of the film crew.

"What was your name again?"

"Ullius Oleander, at your service," he returned with a small bow.

"Olea...right, right," the woman stuttered, visibly oblivious. Everyone back in position. And fix this man, please."

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Before he could protest, they dragged him along, sat him under one of the tents, covered him in make-up, painted him with fake blood and gave his lines, mostly consistant of screams.

The soliders, the tank and everyone else returned to their places, preparing for another take.

"Action," he heard them say, but he was no longer there. The camera followed as he ran down the street, far from the confines of thr film set, following the catchy song of the ice cream truck.

"Stop," he yelled at the driver through the megaphone he stole from the set, and waved like there was a fire inside. "Stop."

The driver, startled by the uncanny encounter hit the brakes and watched as Ullie entered the truck from the back.

"Don't mind me, I'll be going right away."

"Going where?" the driver protested but by the time he could get to the back, Ullie had already entered one of the freezers and closed the lid.

***

It was cold and dark and it smelled funny. The space was too tight for him to move and did his best not to be reminded of the past. It happened every time, but the dark memories always came back in such moments. Screams and fire, lighting flashing before his eyes and a river of blood filling up the box.

"Let me out," he screamed slamming the metal walls with his fists. "Someone please let me out."

it took some time, and it felt like an eternity.

When the door unlocked and the man in a white coat pulled him out over a long metal tray, Ullie was as pale as a corpse. Trapped in some painful tremmor he rolled himself aside until lhe dropped to the floor. Even when he had his freedom, it took more time for his mind to recover.

"What... what is this?" The man said holding the back of his head with both hands. "What were you doing in there? How long have you been there? What was..."

"It's alright, Ullie said rubbing his eyes and pulling himself back on his feet. "I just took a wrong turn."

"A wrong what?"

"Sorry for the scare," he added and rushed out of the room. He picked up the pace in the hallway and felt life return to him by the time he reached the elevator. As he rode up, he pretended he and the fern in the corner were one and the same.

The fresh air on the hospital roof was all he needed and had he more time to mingle, he would have loved to enjoy the view and chat up the old patients about the long lost time of their youth. Instead, he went all the way to the farthest edge of the terrace and climbed the wall that separated it from the abyss.

"Where was it now?" He walked up and down the edge, measuring the length with his steps. Hinged portals were a nightmare when it came to remembering where they hung from and he had a tendency to mix up left and right. The margin of error in this case was a bit too thin for his liking.

"Don't do it," said an old woman pulling her infusion stall along. "You have so much to live for. Please get down from there."

"It's alright, madam. I've done this before," returned Ullie showing a reassuring thumbs up. More and more people gathered to watch the unfolding of events. The panic spread like wildfire followed by muffled screams and loud gasps.

"It's not over, there is still hope," said another patient in a wheelchair. "Please, don't do this to yourself."

"I'm not going to jump," Ullie insisted. "I mean I am going to jump but I'm not going to... uh, never mind. It's fine."

"You're too young to die."

"I'm really not."

He snapped his fingers in celebration of finding the right spot.

"Please..."

"See ya," he let his left foot touch the air first and then he simply tilted himself forward, allowing gravity to do all the work.

"Noooo," they cried in agony, but when they got closer to the edge and saw the street below, they were surprised to find there was not a single trace of the suicidal wizard at the bottom.

***

"No adults allowed in my kingdom," said a young girl with a paper crown on her head, pointing her magic wand at Ullie.

He was bouncing up and down like a rubber ball inside an inflatable castle, as more and more children gathered around to inspect the intruder. They poked him with their toy dinosaurs and random sticks like he was an alien.

"Are you friend or foe?" said an angry little boy with his toy gun and a funny hat. "Speak or I'll command everyone to scream."

"Friend," said Ullie with arms raised. "I come in peace."

"Prove it," the boy insisted. "You could be a spy. How are we to know? The kingdom must be pro.. pro... protecteled." He turned to the girl beside him and gave her a subtle signal. She gathered her friends and they took a silent breath, ready to explode with high-pitched sounds.

"I'll prove it," Ullie defended. "Look," he reached into his left pocket, shuffled around like it had no bottom, and pulled out a paper crane. It was made entirely of old chocolate foil and when he threw it in the air it spread out its wings and started flying around the castle like it was a real bird. The children followed it with their eyes in absolute silence and awe, before they decided it was more fun to try and catch it. The moment they caught it, it exploded like a pinata, filling the entire castle full of sparkle, fireflies, rainbows, and whatever was necessary to keep the children entertained.

"Are you a wizard?" asked the self-proclaimed queen.

"I am, but it must remain a secret."

"Do you have a unicorn?" she returned poking his forehead with the glitter-ridden wand and chuckling like it was funny.

"No," he shook his head as others surrounded him. "But I'd like one."

"Can you cast spells with your hands?" asked a girl with great enthusiasm and sparkle in her eyes as she raised her arm trying to imitate and explosion.

"Well, yes."

"Can you turn me into a penguin?" asked a little boy with a penguin on his shirt. "Please?"

"I'm sorry. Perhaps when you grow up."

"Can you make me fly?"

"Not in the way you want."

"That's not fair."

"Nothing is."

"If you won't do anything then why did you come here?" the boy with the gun insisted. His hat had fallen over his eyes and he used the tip of the gun to put it back in place.

"I got in trouble because of another wizard and a great curse I cannot break."

It was almost time. He could not risk getting caught by anyone at the party, so he needed to wait for the perfect moment to get to the table they kept the cake on. It was right across the lawn and there was no one guarding it.

"I must go now, little ones, my adventure awaits," he said sliding out of the air contraption.

"Will you come back, Mr Wizard?" said a wide-eyed boy with a plastic toy shaped like a black unicorn.

"We'll meet again, I promise."

"But will you defeat the evil wizard and save yourself from his curse?"

"Well technically, it's my curse, and he's not really evil. it's just a bit too complicated," he said as he rushed forward. "Farewell, young ones."

By the time anyone noticed him zapping across the lawn Ullie already sliding under the table cloth, waiting to move on.

***

Crouching low, he peeked from under the cloth, seeing shiny shoes all around. The smoke of cigars fell around the room like a curtain and made it a little harder to see the exit.

The people argued about something, accusing one another of hiding cards in their sleeves, slamming the table, and spitting at the sides.

"Great," Ullie mumbled as he spotted the guards at the door. It had to be another one of the illegal gambling dens the city of Jorval was known for. It was a risk Ullie was willing to take, it it meant bringing him close to his goal.

"You fraud," one of the people yelled, kicking the chair back as he stood up.

"You're just a sore loser. You always were," said another, as the sound of plastic ships and paper bills flooded the table.

"Come on, come back," said the third as the first one went for the door, signaling the guards to let him go. But, before he got that far, he backed off, pointing his finger at the sounds coming from the outsdie.

"Police. Open the door."

"Fantastic," Ullie spun around under the table, looking for another way out. Unless there was a hidden entrance behind one of the shelves, he was inadvertently stuck.

"What are you waiting for," someone yelled as the room erupted in commotion. "Grab the stuff, and let's go. We've been made."

"I knew it," he chuckled as the guards and the six men from the table uncovered a small number pad on the wall and pressed on it with shaking hands.

The front door burst open, and an entire squadron of people stormed in. They scattered around the room, pointing a gun at everything in sight.

Ullie sat under the table with his legs crossed, pretending he was invisible, and while everyone else was too busy either arresting or getting arrested, he decided to wait it out.

No matter the disguise, the dogs were not easy to fool.

"You there," yelled one of the officers pulling on the dog's leash, even though the dog may have had more humane intentions. "Come out with your hands above your head."

"Traitor," he said to the dog, who for some reason, wiggled its tail like they'd known each other since preschool.

"I have nothing to do with any of this," Ullie said with a diplomatic smile, as he got back on his feet. "I'm quite innocent."

"You are under arrest for illegal gambling, distribution of illegal substances, bribe, and hindering police investigation," The officer cuffed him and handed him over to another one. "This one is the leader," he said, as they compared his face to the photo of some other man. Certain, broad similarities were there, though he considered it quite an insult.

"That's not me," he yelled in protest. "Have you no eyes? I'm infinitely more handsome than whoever that is."

"Take him away," was the last he heard from them as they rolled him into the back of the police van, with all the others. They looked at one another as if they needed to figure out which one was to blaim.

The way out was closer than ever now, and he eyed the small window covered in bars. Once again it was a matter of chance.

"Boss?" the tallest one of the men said to Ullie's reddened face. "Boss, why are you here?"

"I'm sorry, there's been a misunderstanding. You're confusing me with someone."

"What do you mean?" the man whispered leaning in. "Is that your new plan, pretend we don't know each other?"

"Sure," Ullie nodded as the van started moving. He kept his eyes peeled to the glass, waiting for the right moment.

"Hey, could you do me a favor... uh, I'm terribly sorry, what was your name?"

"Good one boss. I've never seen you either."

"The favor?"

"Yes boss... apologies, unknown gentlemen."

"Can you reach in my pocket and find a red pencil?"

"Yes... yes."

In a strange maneuver, they sat back to back as the big man reached deep into the pocket of Ullie's robe. He found the challenge to be more difficult than it looked.

"Anything?"

"How big is this pocket? There is something in here? It's moving."

"Don't touch anything that's not a pencil."

"It bit me."

"Just keep looking."

"There's also something big and round. It's moving too."

"The pencil."

He kept shuffling, as they struggled to remain in place and adjust to the turns the van took. Eventually, they made it.

"This it?" he held the pencil behind his back as Ullie turned to grab it.

"Thank you. Now, avert your eyes for a moment."

"Yes boss."

Seconds after the van flashed with bright light as the pencil shattered his cuffs to pieces. Smiling with joy, Ullie rushed to see where they were, before using the same trick to open the back door.

The others protested, being left tied up, as they watched him prepare for a jump.

"Wait, what about us?" they yelled. "You can't leave us here."

"I'm not your boss," he said as he jumped straight into an open manhole like it was something he did every day.

***