"Well, I loved it. Engaging. Scary. Well done," Dani said. Then she sat back and looked at me strangely. Something was on her mind.

"What's up?" I asked. "You're sad about something."

She tried to hide it, smiling. "I'm the therapist, remember? But there is something we have to talk about. You turn 21 next month, and you will age out of the program. You're not being kicked out, but we have to make space for the next kid. You understand."

"Yeah. I hadn't forgotten. I know the deal. I'll get back the rent I paid. That's over two thousand now, right? Enough to find a place to rent. And once I'm 21, I can work at a nightclub, and I'll make much better money."

Dani smirked. "I don't doubt it. And if you need help, you can call us. We'll still be here for you."

"But not you, specifically, right?"

Dani winced. "Right. I'm sorry it has to be this way. Part of my job is letting you go."

I nodded and looked around the room. My vision was blurring, but I was trying to memorize everything. The four desks cramped together. Stacks of folders of kids who needed help. The fan motor yelled down the halls. The walls were sunken in some places. Overhead, fluorescent lights and old white rectangles with mystery spots covered the ceiling. There were no computers. Dani brought her home laptop to work. When we met. Because I was her job. Not her friend.

The carpet was orange and threadbare.

"I understand. I know why it has to be this way. I'm just gonna miss you," my voice broke.

Dani leaned forward and held my hand. "I'm going to miss you, too."

She said some platitudes to try and comfort me, but she was comforting herself.

When she finished, she asked me about Jude. It was our first meeting since his arrival.

"He's… different? He's the same, but he doesn't act the same. When we were little, he used to make fun of me because I had no friends. And it hurt because it was true. He could make friends anywhere. We moved so many times, and it was always the same. He made friends right away. I made enemies. Bullies, mostly. I was this fae, weird kid. Somehow, the other kids knew what I was before I did. My family moved almost every year. New schools. New kids. But they always knew. So I learned how to deal with them.

"There was this kid once. A scrawny punk. He bullied Jude, called him names. 'Blueberry,' because Jude is husky and wore a blue sweater.

"Anyway, when I noticed it happening, I asked Jude if it bothered him. He said it did. So the next day, as we got off the bus, the kid picked on Jude again, and I told him, 'That's enough. Leave him alone.' Of course, he beat his chest and insulted me. I just walked away.

"There's two ways to handle guys like that: ignore them or punch them in the face. Sometimes, ignoring them works. They get bored. That day, I ignored him because I didn't give a damn what he said about me.

"The following day, when we got off the bus, that putz fucked with my little brother one too many times, and I busted his face open. He was so surprised, this massive gash under his eye and blood running down his face.

"Turns out he'd studied karate for several years, so he smartly bound my arms with my backpack and punched the back of my head a couple times before the bus driver pulled him off me and called 911. When the cop arrived and got the full story, he almost gave me a pat on the back. My mom gave me extra dessert that night.

"I'm not a violent person. Teachers all knew me as a gentle book nerd, and the punk had a reputation as a delinquent fucktard, so I got 3 days detention. He almost got expelled and kept a wide distance from then on.

"A similar thing happened at a different school in another state. My class was in a stage auditorium, and some dumbfuck had the bad idea to say something disparaging about my sister. So I waited until he was a good 20 meters away, sprinted at him, jumped off a chair, and drop-kicked him square in the chest. And no one fucked with me at that school ever again.

"Sorry, I got off topic. Jude. Jude is nothing like that. He's like a mouse. I've never seen him violent. It's just not in him. He doesn't get angry. He just sort of shrinks from conflict. He's a gentle, friendly, funny person. And he comes alive when you look at him. He loves being around people.

"But at the Hippodrome, he was shy and anxious. He's quieter now. The other night, we were talking about Morgan, and all of a sudden, he shut down and shut me out. Something's going on with him, but he won't talk to me about it."

"Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Jude isn't your responsibility."

"He is, though. He's my little brother. He's all I have left."

Dani thought for a moment. "What if you moved in together? With your cashback, you could pay the first month and deposit on a place. Jude could find a job and pitch in by the following month."

"Yeah. I think that could work. I'll bring it up tonight when I meet him."

"What are you up to tonight?" Dani asked.

"Alex, Deon, Faerie, and I are going to a board game store. Jude is supposed to meet us there. But first, me and the urchins are gonna meet up for dinner."

Thai House Express, a family owned business on Castro Street. The portions were large and affordable. We ate family-style dishes of tom kha soup and appetizers of fried minced chicken, potatoes, and carrots, with a cucumber salad. For the entrees, we ate larb, crab pad thai, and a crispy pork belly on rice.

I got a Thai iced tea with coconut milk. Alex opened a bottle of wine for the table. The server kindly forgot to ID any of us. Once we were all toasted, the conversation picked up.

"What's y'all's Hogwarts house?" Deon asked everyone at the table.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

Half-Blood Prince was about to release in theaters, and at the time, Harry Potter was a cultural touchstone.

"Ravenclaw," answered Alex immediately.

"Okay, no surprise there," Deon rejoined and looked at me pointedly.

"Hufflepuff," I confessed to a shocked audience.

"I figured you for a fellow Ravenclaw," said Alex.

"No way. You're both wrong," Deon demanded. "He's clearly a Gryffindor. How are you a Hufflepuff?"

"I'm miscellaneous and very good at finding things," I said to drunken laughter. "What about you?"

"Slytherin," Deon preened. Alex looked mortified. "I love the dark, everything dark, and those flowy black robes? I wannem."

"But they're so bad!" I said.

"No, they're not! They're ambitious. They want power. I relate to that. How 'bout you, Faerie?"

"Harry Potter is overrated," she said with contempt.

"Why you such a hater?" I ragged.

"I'm not a hater! You just don't get it. Maybe you never will. Maybe it was unfair of me to ever think you could. How could you understand how I feel? But is it so much to ask you to respect that I don't like it?"

I felt thoroughly chastised, and the three of us meekly answered no.

Faerie seemed at once satisfied and remorseful. "Thank you. I was the last person you invited, and you should have warned me Nathan was going to be there. I feel like an afterthought with you guys, and it sucks."

"I'm sorry, Faerie," I said.

"Me too," Deon said. "This is bringin' up- I been thinkin' I'll go home to South Carolina soon since I'm about to age out of the program."

"Me too," I said. "Not the South Carolina part. Why do you wanna go back there? That's like the Southiest state there is. It's got South in the name. That's like peak racism."

"Yeah, but at least in the South, people are obvious about it, ya know? Like, there are streets I know not to go down, but I know where to avoid. Here, folks is just as racist, but they be everywhere hidin' in plain sight. And there's like no Black people here! They all got pushed out or pushed down. I feel what Faerie's sayin', 'cause I need my people. Much as I love y'all, I am drowning in caucasity."

Deon finished and drank his Thai iced tea with an expression at once sympathetic and daring.

Faerie said, "Right. I need to find my people."

After a pause, Alex chimed in, "I'll probably go back to New York when I age out. I miss my horse."

The pause outlasted itself.

"So I suppose this is the end of the urchins, then?" I asked rhetorically.

"Not so fast!" Deon cut the gloom. "We're not dead yet, and there's still Totally Awesome! to go to. I wanna stay in touch with each one a you. Friends like y'all aren't easy to find, and I don' wanna lose any a you."

Faerie and Deon paid the tab. Alex and I split the tip. Then we walked to the underground and took a train to West Portal, where the board game store, Totally Awesome! was located.

It was in a quaint commercial area with single-story brick buildings and large glass windows. Totally Awesome! was in a spacious rectangular shop with creaky wood floors and geeky images covering every wall. Giant comic book pages had been blown up to cover every bare surface. Magazine covers and stickers covered the bookshelves, which had boxes and boxes of board games I'd never seen before. There were entire genres I didn't know existed. Gaming tables were organized in the back of the room. "True Affection" by The Blow was playing overhead.

The other urchins and I wandered the aisles looking at board games. There were playable copies of almost every game in the store and perhaps two dozen people playing one game or another.

I asked Alex where to find the store owner, and he pointed at a well-built man with black hair. He was bent down, teaching someone to play a game. I walked up to introduce myself when I recognized him as Dante, one of my first one-night stands, handsome as ever, with a simple button shirt and slacks.

He looked up to see me and took a second to remember me.

"Hey! Uh... Bastian, wasn't it?" Dante stood to greet me.

I wanted to turn and run, but I faked enthusiasm and shook his hand. "Yeah, hi. This is your store? It's amazing."

Dante grinned. "Thanks, yeah, it is. How's it going?"

"Great. My friends brought me here," I indicated toward the other urchins, whispering among themselves. "I just came to say thanks for hosting this. I'll leave you to it." I turned to leave, but Dante touched my wrist invitingly.

"Wait," he said. "I'm teaching my friend here to play Magic: the Gathering. Wanna play? You can use one of my decks."

"I don't know how to play," I said, hoping he'd leave it at that.

"That's great! It'll be a fair learning game. C'mon, take a seat."

Reluctantly, I took a seat. Dante handed me a deck and explained the rules. I don't like being explained things when I haven't asked for an explanation. I resented Dante for ghosting me a year ago, and now he was explaining things to me.

But I swallowed my irritation and listened to the rules. It turned out to be a lot of fun. I came back every week to play games and meet new people. Totally Awesome! would become my new hang-out spot.

Jude didn't show up that night. I called him to ask what had happened. He said he made a friend in the Tenderloin and decided to stay with them. At the time, I was just glad he made a friend and didn't think much of it.

The other urchins and I stayed until the store closed. On the way home, I got a text message from August inviting me to a drag show. Faerie didn't like drag so I didn't mention it to the others. They got off the train at Church station, and I kept going to Van Ness station, walking the rest of the way to Truck, a seedy dive bar in the SOMA.

Truck was a single rectangular room with dark red lights and erotic images covering the walls. "I Can't Decide" by Scissor Sisters was playing over the speakers. Three nearly naked men were dancing on the stage.

I found August ordering a drink at the bar.

"Make it two," I told the bartender, bumping my shoulder into August.

"Hey, you came!" he said and embraced me.

"Of course. I thought you were performing. Why aren't you in face?"

"No. We're here to support Oliver. This is his first time performing at a venue."

"Oh," I wasn't sure how to feel or respond. I didn't want to be bitter. "You two hit it off the other night. Congrats on your dibs kiss."

"Yeah, he's great. But listen, Oliver and I talked about it, and if you're cool with it, we can all share. I mean, we're adult men. It's not like you and I haven't fucked already, so what's one more?"

For some reason, that possibility had never occurred to me. August was my best friend. We had dated, and there was love between us but not romantic love. Our love was platonic and often competitive. This was uncharted terrain for us, and it took me a second to consider.

"Yeah," I said triumphantly. "Why the Hell not? Sounds fun."

Oliver was still backstage, so August and I found seats near the front of the stage and drank our whiskey gingers, flirting, daring each other with glances and threats.

The lights and music changed. The hostess with the mostest, Suppositori Spelling, came onstage and welcomed everyone, explaining the rules and theme of the night and introducing the first queen, Diana Fire.

August nudged me in the rib, whispering, "That's Oliver."

"La Grippe" by Squirrel Nut Zippers came on, and Oliver/Diana Fire stepped onstage, dressed as a plague doctor. She had a black top hat, a creepy bird mask, and a full-length leather coat that covered everything.

Her arms and legs moved in a disturbing rhythm with the song, swaying and then stopping. When the words began, Di opened a latch on her mask, revealing her lips, which synched perfectly to the lyrics.

At the end of each verse, she removed an article of clothing; first the gloves, then the coat, revealing a sexy nurse outfit; finally, the hat and mask came off, revealing a green wig and Joker make-up from the Dark Knight.

Diana Fire spent the rest of the song dancing eerily and collecting money from adoring fans, myself included.

When the show ended, Oliver came directly to us and kissed us both. We stayed for a bit, drinking and flirting, before walking to Windemere.

It wasn't my first threesome, but it was the best. Oliver was a bottomless bottom, so August and I took turns, and we got real inventive with it.

We stayed the night and then over the weekend, watching TV, ordering pizza, and having sex. We all got to know each other and quickly became an item.

August and Oliver were both in the drag scene and more outgoing than I. They brought me out to introduce me to their acquaintances and show me off. I was the quiet place they hid their secrets, and they were my adventures in the real world. They complemented each other in crowds, dancing among people, and I was their anchor. August was the steady pragmatist. Oliver was the social butterfly. I was the dreamer. Somehow, it worked.