I summoned two chairs, one slightly less comfortable than the other. I was about to hand the uncomfortable chair to Smiley, felt a little guilty, cursed my foolish thoughts, and ended up screwing up the handoff—giving the superior chair to the creepy smiling lady who was offering story time before killing time. I was out of my element, and it wasn't just the smoke that constantly nipped at my limited domain.

Smiley took my offered chair with a questioning look, inspected it, and then sat down, only to scoot her chair closer to me a second later. Our knees were practically touching, and as the smoker further invaded my space by placing her hand on my leg just above the knee, her robe slipped further, revealing much more than just her tattoo.

I adjusted uncomfortably in my chair and made the mistake of inspecting the jester crown. Realizing my folly, I quickly lifted my eyes to meet hers and was met with a devilish smile.

"So," I broke the uneasy tension. "Why do you need to kill me?"

"Oh, I do not need to kill you; I want to kill you. It is an important difference that I need you to understand."

"The results are the same." I decided to not ask about her murderous desire a second time.

"Of course they are." The fire sage inhaled deeply and smiled.

"Are you stalling?" I looked around the room. Part of me suspected a posse of jesters would appear out of the nether fashioning clubs and smiling brightly. To my disappointment, we were alone.

"No." Smiley's hand tightened on my leg, and I could feel her trying to burn through my armor. "This is too… delicious of a moment. I want to savor it. Betrayal, lust, blood, and fire." Smiley smiled, and for the first time, her smile was sincere. "Absolutely delicious."

I tried leaning back to feign comfort. It was a hard sale; neither of us bought it. Fortunately, Smiley had more to say.

"When the High King of the Elves sacked the Kingdom of Lumin, he did not believe for a second that the Jewel of Lochland died. Nor would he have liked for that to have happened. You see, the High King has a thing for Sunny. She is to be his wife." Smiley's eyebrows furrowed, her nose wrinkled, and her lips curled back in a grimace of sheer revulsion. "You sullied the High King's bride."

I wasn't Lana's first, nor did any of her promiscuous activities' sully' her. The thought of someone being 'sullied' because of their choices was silliness—for lack of a better word. I wanted to say all of these things, but I didn't. The words would be lost on deaf ears. Instead, I scoured my memories of Lana. Did I know she was a princess? Was that a memory Cal had erased? I couldn't recall any conversations about her hiding from the High King of Lochland, her royalty, a kingdom, or anything of that sort.

"Sweet Selene," I cursed, barely containing my frustration in a whisper

What did I know? Lana never needed money, and she tended to joke about her wealth. I figured she was good at completing missions, hustling, and saving.

Would a refugee princess have some money? Yeah, it was possible.

Lana didn't act pristine or look down on anyone… Those were just generalizations of royalty, though. She was a talented cultivator with enough potential to reach the realm of mages or higher. Talent wasn't exclusive to nobility but was much more common in that circle. The nobles had the resources, experiences, and foundations to pass on to their children. Besides settling for me, her tastes were exquisite. She did little to avoid the public eye if she was in hiding, though. In fact, she often worked to increase her popularity. On the other hand, Flint was always by her side and very protective.

"I know what you are thinking," Smiley said after giving me a couple seconds to process. "Why would a princess fall in love with you?"

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

It wasn't my precise thought, but close enough. I was getting there. I looked at the smiling elf, taking her character in and searching for flaws. If I had a way to escape, I could run some scenarios in my mindscape. That wasn't likely in this loop. What I needed now was to gain what information I could.

"I'll tell you what." I smiled back at the smoker. "I will take you to Lan—Sunny myself. While we walk there, I want you to answer some questions."

"Or I can just play with you until I am satisfied with your answers." The way her eyes gleaned when she said, 'play,' sent a cold chill through me.

"To tell you the truth, I like my proposal a lot more."

"Too bad you do not get to pick." A stream of smoke rose from my leg where Smiley's hand burned through my armor. My cycling mana repaired any damages, but she burned through my icy greaves at an alarming rate.

"No, I don't suppose I do. I guess I'll talk now."

"Submission already. I am… disappointed in you and the princess."

"She's in the Bloodwood Forest, about a day's walk east of Tom's Pond."

"I know she is in the forest. When is she coming out?"

"She's not."

"Damn, she is already hiding. Who blew our cover?" The question was rhetorical. Even if I wanted to answer, the fire sage didn't give me a chance. "No, this is just another one of Sunny's games."

"She's not hiding." I contemplated playing this straight or not. Unfortunately, I wasn't much of a liar and couldn't scheme something better than the truth.

"We will have more time to play until she decides she misses you. I do hope she misses you—for your sake."

"She won't. She can't."

"Lover's quarrel?" Smiley asked with a condescending smile.

"Death." I condescended and returned a smile.

"I do not believe you."

"You don't have to, but you will never find her by waiting or 'playing' with me."

"The Soggs sag," Smiley cursed. "You are telling the truth. He's going to be very unhappy to hear about this."

"Oh, believe me, I am very sad."

"Not you, you twit. The H—" Smiley clamped down her teeth as more fire pumped into my leg. She glowered at me, trying harder to pick me apart. "If she is dead, fetch me her ring. Once that is in my possession, I will let you go." A collar appeared in the sage's hand. It looked to be made of black wood and had scripts written all around it. "Do you know what this is?"

"A suppression collar."

"I am the only one that can take this off of you. Do not try anything funny."

I could not resist and put up a fight. That would either end in my death or a more terrible outcome. On the other hand, I would be suppressed and forced to confront Lana's ashes. I didn't want to waste this life on the foolish notion that I could win a fight against a sage. I was just barely a templar. I had no chance, and I could still do plenty with my mana suppressed. Even if I just hid in the forest and meditated, I could spend a couple months inside my mindscape training.

I left the smokey tavern alone. Smiley stayed behind and helped herself to what I suspected was my dinner and drink. I grimaced at the pile of dead gate guards on my way out and tried not to dwell on the wasted lives. It didn't matter this loop.

The collar around my neck itched tremendously and it had a constant drain on my mana. All things considered… What in Ao's abyss just happened? Lana was a princess who was wanted by the Elven High King? Did that make Smiley some type of assassin? Her odd tattoo must've had some meaning, else the smoker wouldn't have gone out of her way to flash it so much. Was I supposed to know what it was? Jesters… A secret combination of smiling assassins?

I came here looking for one cult and, in the end, was discovered by a cult of clowns.

Not all was lost. If Lana did have a secret ring that possessed a kingdom of riches, I could skip all of this blood cult work for now and cash in on my girlfriend's resources. It felt a little skeezy, but it was the best path to pursue, given the circumstances. I should've pillaged her ashes sooner. Her sword would've earned me a small fortune even if she didn't have a ring. It is not enough to get into an elite academy, but enough to cover part of the down payment.

I tried to scratch under the collar to mild degrees of success. This was a terrible night, and now I had a long walk back into the Bloodwoods with no mana to hasten my pace.