IN THE PRESENT

Ander’s arms wrap around me and he pulls me tightly against him. “I’ll beat them for leaving you like this. I’m so sorry, Zo. I wanted to get you out sooner…”

I cut him off, “It’s not your fault.” But even as I say it, I can hear the iciness in my voice. I’m grateful that he is here and I don’t want him to blame himself, but I can’t see past what I really want at this moment.

He leans back and sees that I’m not even looking at him. He looks over his shoulder, following my yearning gaze to the shower, and chuckles.

“You do smell pretty terrible.”

I snort and try to push myself up to my feet but my knees buckle. His hands come up under my arms and he pulls me up as he stands. The length of my body is pressed against his and I relish the heat. I didn’t realize just how cold I was.

From the day we met in an Insight classroom to this very moment, Ander has always found a way to be there for me, even when I didn’t want it. It's no surprise that it’s him here now when I’ve never felt more vulnerable or alone.

“Zo,” his voice cuts through my thoughts and pulls me back to the present. “I’m going to help you shower. And don’t bother saying no. You’ll fall over and crack your skull open or something if I don’t.”

I have it in me to protest. Maybe in a different situation, I would have balked at the idea of him seeing me naked, but I know that right now, I can’t do anything alone.

Ander helps me peel my clothes off and I stare down at a body I barely recognize. I am covered in cuts and bruises. Some are faded greenish-tan and others are fresh purple-black. I can see my ribs poking through my skin and can’t believe how thin I’ve become.

Ander tucks a finger under my chin and forces me to look up into his eyes. “It’s going to be okay.” I hope he doesn’t see the unshed tears that I am trying so hard to hold back.

He guides me over to the shower and turns it on, checking the temperature with a hand before moving us both inside.

The warm spray and hard pressure are incredible. I feel the dirt and crusted blood finally leaving me and I want to scrub myself until I’ve taken off a layer of skin but it’s all I can do to just stay awake.

Ander is here with me, his arms wrapped around me and I’m thankful he’s still partially dressed. His shirt and boxers are soaked through but if we’d been skin to skin I know I would’ve regretted it later.

After what seems like too short a time, he turns off the water and pushes the door of the stall open.

One of his arms stays firmly around my waist while the other reaches around the side of the shower stall and comes back with a large fluffy towel.

He drapes it over my shoulders and rubs down my arms slowly. The towel is so big that it reaches my knees. Its soft fabric caresses my clean skin and I finally start to feel human again.

I sigh and close my eyes.

“Can’t sleep yet,” Ander murmurs from behind.

I grunt in disapproval but open my eyes. He leads me over to the bed where I sit down and look up at him.

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His shirt clings to his muscular form, accentuating every ripple under his taut skin. Not for the first time in our long history, I marvel at how beautiful a man he is, but that long history has taught me to keep those thoughts to myself.

The man in question grabs another towel and a clean pair of pants from the chest at the end of the bed and disappears into the shower stall. When he emerges again, he’s shirtless and wearing gray cargo pants that hang low on his hips as he towels his hair dry.

“Before you get some rest, I need to know how you got caught.”

Got caught? I search my brain for something that will make sense. I was here tied up. Before that, I was… I was about to be executed but then “saved” though it didn’t feel much like saving.

But before that…

“Atilio,” as soon as his name leaves my lips a bolt of energy zaps through me and I’m on my feet.

Ander rushes over, his arms on my shoulders keeping the towel from falling and exposing me again.

“I didn’t get to him, Ander. Oh, god.” My body curls in on itself. I feel like I’m sinking into my stomach. Strong arms embrace me and move me back to the bed, pushing me to sit down.

Ander sits beside me and rubs circles on my back while he waits for me to continue.

“It should’ve been easy. The tech was already tagged for transport to Might. We had the codes, the route, it was going to be an easy swipe. But something went wrong,” I close my eyes and press my lips into a firm line to keep them from trembling. “The transport was there but it was empty. I wanted to leave but Atilio said we could still use it, hi-jack the transport pod so it wouldn’t be a total scrub. God, I knew it was a bad idea.”

I look up at Ander and his eyes meet mine. A calmness settles over me that only he can bring. I want to keep basking in the serenity but I know I need to focus.

I look back at my hands, balled into tight fists in my lap. My nails bite into my palms as I continue, “I was standing guard when the ship’s guidance system suddenly turned back on. Before I could even think, it was up and gone with Atilio inside. I tracked it all the way to a Might shipyard but by the time I got there, Atilio wasn’t inside. I tried,” my voice hitches, and I suck in a gulp of air, “I tried to find a way into the base there but it was a trap. They were waiting, at least 20 Might soldiers. I don’t even remember fighting. It was over so fast.”

“We tried to get you out before the execution but you were guarded better than the Will himself.” I snort at the comparison but say nothing.

“As you might have guessed, we disabled the purifiers around the colosseum to create the fog backdraft. I wasn’t even sure it would work…”

Everything falls into place now and the past day comes together. “God, I thought I was going to die and it was just you. Well, thanks. I don’t think I was ready to die, after all.” The image of Beñat standing beside the Fate flashes through my mind. I shutter and push the thought away.

“What about Atilio? Do you know what happened with him?”

Ander gets up and rummages around in the chest. He pulls out a long-sleeved t-shirt and throws it at me. “Put this on.”

I know he is dodging the question but I don’t argue and shrug the shirt on, careful not to jar my shoulders or ribs.

He throws a pair of socks next and I’m about to relay that there aren’t any bottoms when he says, “I don’t have anything that would even remotely fit you. After you sleep we’ll find you something better.”

The shirt is more like a dress so for sleeping I know I should be fine. I slip on the socks and pull the blanket that is folded up on the edge of the bed over my legs.

I risk asking a second time because I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep until I know. “Ander, what about my brother?”

His eyes meet mine over the lid of the chest and he sighs heavily.

“He is alive, I know that much. But I haven’t been able to get much more than that. I don’t even know what sector he is being held in. I’m sorry, Zo.”

I lean back against the wall and close my eyes. It’s my fault that this happened. I shouldn’t have let him go in alone. Hell, I shouldn’t have let either of us go near that craft at all. But, who am I kidding, Atilio never listens to me anyway…

“Zo, get some rest. I’ll be back later, okay?”

I open one eye and look at him. He’s by the door again, his hand over the light dimmer.

“Yeah, okay,” I murmur, lying down and rolling over onto my side. My back is to him as he leaves and I hope he didn’t see the tears. I feel myself sinking into the mattress and oblivion. Even though I want to stay awake, to keep thinking about my brother and where he might be, sleep claims me.