I didn’t feel pain. I didn’t feel cold. I didn’t feel much of anything. When I woke up, I found myself on the floor of a large cage. The duct tape was off my face and my wrists were free. Sneakers, shoes, and heels kept stepping on my face. It didn’t even hurt, just felt like unpleasant pressure. I told them to stop. My head felt pretty clear. I shifted my body and hopped up to stand amidst the caged crowd. Keeping players in a cage was against terms of service. I took a closer look at my fellow prisoners. They looked a little disheveled. I heard groans. Blood dripped from a woman’s hair. I pulled her toward me.

“Hey, are you all, right?”

I jumped back. My shoulder blade hit the bars! She had no eyes and maggots crawled out the holes. Her skin was a sickly bloated and burnt greenish brown. It wasn’t just her! I was in a cage full zomis! I’m dead! I’m dead. They’re going to eat me. I screamed as I shook the bars. The zomis paid no attention. Why? I brought my hands up against the bars. Somehow, they were pale, purplish, and a sickly shade of green all at the same time.

“No, no, no, this can’t be. There’s no way to play as a zomi. If I’m dead, I should wake up at the Other-World dive station in Dallas. What’s going on!? What the hell man!?”

And then it was feeding time. I heard a desperate voice pleading from above.

“Jimmie, Jimmie, come on man!? You know I was only joking about the beer belly. I got one too. That ain’t no reason to kill a man. Kind of oversensitive, I mean not in bad way but I was just joking. Come on, JIMMIE! JIMME! I’m begging ya! I got the message Jimmie!”

I noticed all the zomis looking up. They reached. They walked in unison toward the back of the cage. Left me standing to the back by my lonesome. At least it gave me some space. I looked up too. The cage had no ceiling. A plank extended from a catwalk above. And wouldn’t you know, the man who’d been saying Jimmie over and over again stood precariously close the edge with his hands in the air. A man in a red ball cap wielding more pot gut than shot gun gave him little shoves.

“JIMMIE! I’m begging ya man! Don’t do this. You know I’m good right. I’m one of your best looters man!”

I didn’t have the best vantage point, seeing as I was looking at their boots an all. Jimmie didn’t seem in the mood to forgive whatever this poor skinny SOB had done him wrong with. I winced as the man slid at the edge, caught his balance, and tottered towards falling right on top of my new friend group. I would have sweat for him if I had been capable of it.

The heavyset man gave him a little tap on the chest with the business end of his shot gun. Down he went. I tried to calm everyone down but you can guess how well that went. As many sets of teeth that could reach the man who offended Jimmie tore flesh for a feast that I was pretty sure they weren’t enjoying. And where the teeth didn’t reach the nails did. I just leaned into the bars away from the whole affair. Surprisingly I didn’t feel nauseated at all. It didn’t even smell bad.

“That’s what ya get! Hruuuck!”

The big guy spat a loogie right in my hair, super gross! By the time I looked up, he was gone. I dug into my hair and combed the slimy mess out with my fingers. The phlegm stuck between them. I shook it off my hand onto the horde of zombies who were trying to feed on the now fresh corpse. His screams hadn’t lasted long. Well, I guess that’s what ya get for offending Jimbo. I’m pretty sure old Jimbo was the guy who shot me too.

Too bad I was in a cage, a locked cage. Looked to be some sort of warehouse. Junk sat about everywhere. Sunlight streamed in from windows near the ceiling. Lots of dust hung in the air. The sound of hungry zomis smacking their gums and gnashing their teeth behind me didn’t heighten the mood any.

Was I a zomi? No way. I mean, the smell of fresh blood only made salivate a little bit. Otherwise, I had no desire to join the feeding frenzy. And I was still thinking, zomis didn’t think, they acted only on instinct. I jiggled the door of the cage. It had a simple latch mechanism with a pin. But it wasn’t locked, just a bit too complicated for a zomi. Well, I quietly played around with it till I figured it out. The door pushed open. I slid out, and made darn sure to close and relatch the door.

My feet ached so I shuffled into a dark corner. Living, Dead, human, or zomi, it wasn’t a good idea to let anyone in this warehouse see me. The best idea, get out of town. So, I shuffled quietly along the edges of the warehouse looking for an open door into that bright Arizona sun.

Instead, I found a girl sitting in a dog crate. There were female zomis in the other dog crates on the shelves. I wasn’t too sure about the hobbies of these players. I approached her crate. While her shirt was bloody and her clothes torn, she looked human enough. She was even crying. Those torn black stockings and that blueish white hair were unmistakable. This was the girl that had been strapped to the hood of the truck!

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“Hey, you okay?”

She took one look at me and shuffled to the other side of her cage with a whimper. Then she put a hand over her mouth as if for some reason she wanted to scream but for another reason she didn’t. I stood there deep in thought. Then I waved to her. She looked confused so I gave her a thumbs up. Then I made the okay symbol. Now she looked really confused. But she giggled. I found that a perfectly acceptable and cute response.

“Hey, I’m not a zomi. It’s probably a glitch.”

She tilted her head at me, still looking confused. At least I thought she looked confused. I pursed my lips and stared; she stared back. I wasn’t sure how long that lasted because I spaced out. I gave her another thumbs up.

“Can you understand me, blink twice and nod.”

I blinked with some effort. My eyes felt, kind of dry. Nodding wasn’t much of a problem. Now we were getting somewhere.

“I’ll get you out of here. One moment.”

As I looked around for the lock, she shifted her body away from wherever I was at. I gave her a thumbs up, but it didn’t seem to calm her nerves much. The dog crate pretty much had the same latch as my cage. Only one problem, there was a padlock on it. I jiggled it but didn’t want to make too much noise. She was curled into a ball in the center of the crate as she watched me work. I pointed to the padlock, even gave it a little push with my finger.

“Do you know where the key might be?”

“The padlock, yeah, it’s locked. Can you understand me?” she asked back.

This was annoying, but I nodded again to humor her, “You’re a player, right?”

“Okay, I think there’s a key upstairs. Jim might have it. If you can get it for me and open the crate, I’ll trust that you’re still somehow human enough not to try and bite me. If you can, bring the key to the DodgerBeast-1500. It’s the only vehicle here they keep full on gas.”

I nodded. I was always a sucker for the cute ladies, especially crying ones with blueish white hair. I made a mental note of the features of the warehouse so I wouldn’t get lost. Then I started to shuffle off to the end of the aisle. There was a set of metal stairs amidst the shelving and a well-lit area above. I could hear voices.

Moseying on up there and asking politely for the keys didn’t seem like a good idea. I didn’t exactly have ninja skills either. I could wait, but there was no way I was sliding back in that pen full of zomis. I went back to the girl to let her know my thoughts on the matter. I picked up a metal pipe as a peace offering. She might feel safer with a weapon.

“I’m going to wait until night time,” I said while sliding a metal pipe into her crate, “There’s too many people and I’ll just get myself killed if I’m not sneaky about it. Do you know where I might be able to grab a flash light for myself?”

“Why are you giving me a pipe, that’s not what I wanted. You really can’t understand me, can you?”

I nodded and blinked, then nodded and blinked again. At this point, it seemed likes she was the one who couldn’t understand me.

“Maybe your consciousness hasn’t faded yet, but is slowly fading?”

I shook my head. That was unfair, my thoughts were clear as day. There wasn’t thing wrong with my noggin and it was just like it ever and always was! I took a deep breath, which came with a whistling wheeze through the holes in my chest. It was then I realized that I hadn’t taken a breath since I left the zomi cage. Maybe I really was one of them now?

“I said I’m going to wait until dark fall. And I’ll need a flashlight.”

She looked away, disheartened, “Whatever, you’re no use to me. Just go away so you can finish turning.”

I suddenly had a strong urge to find a mirror, which was really of no use whatsoever in this current predicament. The keys were upstairs. But they were upstairs. They had guns, and there were at least five or more distinct voices talking and yelling at each other. I could let the zomis out and take the keys in the confusion. Better yet, if I could check the surroundings, perhaps I could lead a horde into this place. But both of those options would put the girl at risk.

I found myself at a loss for new ideas. So, I decided to take a little shuffle under the second floor and squeeze myself between the shadowy arms of a metal support beam. It would be nigh on impossible to spot me here if they weren’t looking for me. I thought I could pick up some valuable information about where the keys would be at. But most of their conversations had no bearing on anything and wasn’t worth repeating here.

Sounded like they were drinking too. I heard a bottle smash against the wall. A lanky man ran down the metal steps to get something from the truck. I could see them through the holes in the catwalk. There were about ten, all men, including big Jimmie with his big ole gut.

Perhaps if I used the noise mechanics, I could lead the herd up there, and keep them up there. This would assume they still weren’t interested in me. I was loathe to depend on that discovery. But the more I thought about it, the more it felt like the only way. Lead them up the steps, in the dark, make sure they took everyone out, then grab both sets of keys and escape. I grabbed a rusty iron pipe for later.

Dusk approached, but I had to confirm they weren’t going to feast on me. I quietly went back to the zomi cage. They stood listlessly as I reached my hand in and waved it around. Nothing, not so much as an attempt at a nibble. I carefully unlatched the cage. Opening it at only the slightest angle ensured I could slip back in. Then I readjusted the latch. Back in the cagie wagie.

Unbelievable, I was one with the zomis. My life, officially over. The distinct lack of feeling or pain from my body felt depressingly disconcerting.

There was nothing left to do but wait for it to get dark. Then lead the horde in the battle for the keys.