We sat together as we finished our meal. A local roast.

Maria seemed to like well enough. As for me, well food doesn’t seem to have any effect on this body nor drink… It was the same in my last one too. At some point alcohol loses its effect once one develops resistance to mundane poison. All manners of drugs too.

As for food, its more of a social thing. At the level that I was it would be logic that one would have to eat an entire buffalo to keep satiated, but what we end up feeding on it’s magic, something the world itself provided so I didn’t really know hunger for a very long time.

As for now… well an undead can’t really partake in the joys of the living. That is the deal after all, to be an undead is to spit on the laws of the universe so the universe spits on you.

It Is a path to power, yes, but for me well… ambition lies in conquering your weaknesses not cowering from them like the undead do.

Then again if I eat doesn’t the food just spill out of my guts when one would ingest it or drink? That would be the logic yes, considering I have ripped out pretty much the whole part of the body that took care of that. There is a literal hole from my ribs below held only by sewn skin.

But like I said, when you spit in the laws of the universe the universe spits on you. It doesn’t adhere to logic, only the ridiculous thing that it is magic— when I place food an drink in my mouth it all simply turns to ash. It is a punishment.

To deny life is to deny its perks. That is why most undead are mindless and roaming freaks that plague the worlds in search of sustenance that wil never satiate them; this cold logic breaks them and they end up wasting their time trying to get back something they themselves threw away. It is a curse, and at the same time something popular that way too many beings embrace.

That being said. Well, being an undead requires a serious amount of self-awareness and willpower to be able to keep any semblance of self. I will give them that at least.

As for me, well I can’t wait to get rid of this carcass.

“Adam? something wrong?” Maria asked as she ate at the other end of the table.

“Just contemplating the next steps.” I got up. “Come find me outside once you are done.” I said I walked towards the door.

She got up. “I’m done, let’s go.” She followed close behind.

“What are we—, well scheming now?” She asked as she walked behind me.

“We are heading to a local warehouse.” I answered.

“To do what?” She asked.

“To leave a note. A very interesting note.” I hope those fuckers can read.

“O…okay” She replied.

We walked around town. As I searched for this warehouse, which was meant to be on the west side of the town; the other side given we were now located in the east where the monastery was located in relation to this beacon of civilization.

We passed by many and array of shops, houses, and pubs. As many horse-drawn carriages rattled along the cobblestone roads. Maybe I should rent one… better not as I think about it, I already drew too much attention for a day.

The smell of tobacco and ale wafted through the air as we walked. Maria stepped up and started to walk by my side. Good to see that she isn’t entirely lacking in social skills; well given her background it is to be excused. Those who walk behind us are followers after all, this simple gesture means nothing. But it is good to see that she knows how to stand up for herself.

I gave her a simple nod of approval as she did that.

The local pedestrians were clad in old fashioned but… somewhat elegant clothes as they meander through the streets, as we walk we hear people talk in the local accents. This town is alive and with a rich history, signs of the past still evident in the buildings and streets.

As we continued our our walk Maria just looked around somewhat in awe to the place. Clearly she didn’t get out of the monastery often.

She turned a little red as I gave her a little look. She is acting a little weird… like she feels more comfortable around me now. Wonder why is that.

“What?” She asked, then quickly added. “When we went to the opera last time it was actually my first time over in town in many years… I always wanted to come back and see it again.” She answered with a little smile.

“Father didn’t let you?” I asked.

“No… I was forgiven, all of us were. The monastery was on full lock down, still is. I don’t know how you do whatever you please and never suffer any repercussions.” She commented.

“I already show you how.” I looked at her, before she said anything. “I deal with them before they happen or once they do, I make sure they don’t happen again.”

“But what about… the monastery? Law and order? Stability? Safety.” She asked.

I smiled. “It is a stupid thing, to give out your freedom in exchange of useless things like those. It is something many refuse to learn too.”

“Freedom is an illusion… and a lie. It is one of the many of the teachings of our order. The church too.” She mumbled somewhat uncertain.

“So is law, order, stability and your precious safety. You know what isn’t a lie? You are either happy or you aren’t. That’s something up to you to decide and take it.” I shared with her my thoughts on the matter.

“How can I be happy if I am not safe?” She asked.

“I don’t know. Is it a requirement of your happiness to be safe? Considering your story… I doubt it” I answered.

“Why… Why do you say that?” Maria questioned with a pout.

“Don’t you want power? To kill your father and be respected by everyone? You contradict yourself; to be happy is on par with your goals. How can you be safe if you choose such a path? One where you take risks.”

“How… How… do you know that?” She looked down.

“Well… The walls were thin. I could hear your drunken ramblings.” I chuckled.

She stopped and turned beet red. I turned around to look at her.

“Listen Maria, there is nothing more important for a man or… in your case a chick. You get it. It’s our goals no matter how stupid or meaningless they turn out to be. Never, and I say never allow anyone to mock them or look down on them.”

“What… Why? It’s their opinion… Should we not respect it?” She mumbled as we kept walking.

“It is the highest form of disrespect one can give you. You can tolerate an insult, even to your own family, but yo your goals? That’s something you can never forgive. A person’s dreams or goals are the most important and holy thing anyone should hold.”

“I can sympathise but… I don’t get it.” She replied.

“One day perhaps you will understand.” I looked down and remembered a few parts of my long sordid past. “Once I was in a very dark place. I had lost everyone I ever loved and things many a person could not bear to lose, I was desperate and deeply broken.” I said with a sombre voice; it still hurt to remember things even after many centuries.

“I… I’m sorry?” She was somewhat bewildered.

“The point is that, the thing that brought me back were my desires. The things that I wanted and hoped for; something better... My goals I mean. In some points in life it is better to hold on to these silly things than the emptiness that life can make us go through and feel.” I looked ahead. We were reaching the town’s center.

“That is why our goals are so important to protect and work towards. To escape darkness, well you reach for the light. To reach for darkness is to get even more darkness. It can feel good… To let yourself go to rage and misery. But that can be considered a form of ‘masturbation’; weakness in one of its purest forms, no matter how forgone you might end up feeling… to accept that and keep at it; not to even bother to escape it. That is the definition of weakness and that is something that cannot be tolerated. It is to deserve death.”

“What about those who just wish to live in peace? settle down and farm? be with their families? They aren’t fighters… they aren’t strong so they get slaughtered and oppressed by the daily basis. Would you call them weak for it? Do they deserve death?” She asked.

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. “You have taken a complicated subject and trivialized it with your answer... and lack of experience. To have power and not have it, to be able to affect the world and the people around you. That is not strength nor weakness, to be strong is to realize your own weakness and be better. To be weak is to recognize it and stay that way.”

“I don’t get it…” Maria whispered.

“You will some day.”

“Is it worth it? To seek revenge, I mean… won’t I feel empty after I get it? I have given it some thought.” She asked another question after a while.

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“Will you stay empty or find yourself a new goal? Something else to work towards? It is up to you.” I replied.

Soon we entered the town’s square. And Maria remained silent. We noticed the several social classes that made up this old town. Wealthy merchants and nobles often driving by in their carriages, while the working class walked along the streets, engaged in their daily tasks. We saw children playing in the streets too.

Maria even waved at them drawing some attention. She is a kind soul on a ruthless path… Like so many before her.

Hawkers sold their wares, and street musicians entertained the passersby with their music and instruments. This truly is the heart of the town.

Soon we reached our destination. An old and big warehouse. Its purpose unknown. It seemed abandoned by all means. We stopped by a big wooden gate which I just politely knocked.

It took a minute but finally someone opened the peephole. It was a thug, with a thug's face.

“What de ye want?” He said with that funky accent.

I just casually flipped him the bird.

He immediately smashed the peephole shut.

I took a note and slided it into the thing. Then knocked again, more roughly now; to draw attention again.

“Come, let’s get out of here.” I motioned the girl.

And so we went another long walk to back to the monastery.

Then It struck me. I had originally come over to town to buy something for Ruth. I needed her; and that meant I had to cheer her up. Well… that meant that I had to go to the weapons shop.

What kinds of gift would that girl like? I had no idea. So I decided to get her something that I would like to receive. It is quite simple this kind of thing, after all my tastes are impeccable.

We walked a while longer and some hours did pass. I had set up a gathering in the monastery with the freak to announce my new position and handle some other things so I had to hurry, to actually get there on time. Well they could wait… that would be fun actually.

“Hey Maria.” I asked the girl who was casually keeping quiet.

“Mmm!? You need something?” She looked at me surprised as we walked, she was clearly lost in her own world-

“What kind of things does Ruth like? I want to get her something.”

She lifted an eyebrow up. “No idea. She is weird.”

“C’mon, you can think of something… you are her sister after all!” I replied.

“Half-sister actually and… I don’t know, a book perhaps. She does read a lot.”

“Considering the size of the library back home… she can easily get any book she wants, so… I will get her a weapon then.” I muttered.

“What is it with the half-sister thing anyway?” I suspected something actually.

She held her own shoulder. “Right… sometimes I forget that you aren’t actually my brother. There isn’t much of a thing. Me and our other brothers share the same mother and father, while you and Ruth are twins from a different mother and the same father. Is that… easy to understand?” She replied.

I nodded “I see. Well I might have mentioned it, but you hadn’t noticed it. ‘Father’ is actually alive, he appointed me acting grandmaster out of sheer convenience for him. You can still go and brutally dismember him tough.” I mentioned.

She suddenly jerked up. “W…WHAT— I…I thought that. No… Why didn’t you said it earlier! After all that goal talk… You are impossible.” She pacepalmed.

“How do you feel about that revelation?” I casually asked.

“I… I don’t know. Thinking he was dead sort of felt that a really heavy weight was off my shoulders, but… knowing he actually is alive. There is some sort of fire in me… Something I carried my whole life in many different ways.” She suddenly made an expression. A new one.

“It feels good…”

“You hold on to that.” I replied with a smile.

Soon we found the local smithy, at its side there was an whole shop with all kinds of melee weapons. It seems that good old steel still hadn’t died out entirely due to the far ‘superior’ guns.

The person in charge was a girl in her early thirties, clearly hired for shopkeeping. The master must work on a forge somewhere else.

Maria and I perused a while. She did not show much interest in anything and neither did I either… Have I grown spoiled from all the power I possessed? All the things are top notch to this world’s standards, but for mine? Not really. Were are the big ass cleavers that can chop a person in half in a single swing?

For normal people that kind of thing is preposterous. The most popular ones and what was being sold in greater numbers here was mostly sabres and rapiers. A few long swords too.

This felt like an antique shop…

Noticing our lack of decidedness, the clerk came over to us.

“Greeting sir, and madam. Are you perhaps looking for an officer sword? We have many of those out on the back fit for any kind of high ranking officer!” She said with cheeky saleswoman tone.

I nodded and Maria told her to show us the way.

We went through a door out back and another compartment of the shop was presented to us. This seemed to be the real shop! The steel was all higher quality and had all kinds of engravings… And fancy pommels.

Maria picked up a rapier that caught her eye. And I just looked around for daggers, they more likely seem to be Ruth’s style anyway.

“I always wanted to buy myself a custom rapier… this one will do nicely!” Maria said as she showed off one that she chose.

“And you want me to pay for that overpriced eye-candy, is that it?” I asked with a smirk.

“No… actually.” She reached for a pocket of hers and showed me a gem. One that belonged to me actually.

I chuckled. I really haven’t noticed her doing it… “No honour amongst thieves.” I winked at her.

She just giggled. Clearly proud of herself.

I would not get angry about such a thing. If I caught her in my pocket it would be a different matter; but she actually got it without me noticing it. I don’t need a reason to punish this girl. So why would I get it? And after all this is something I stole… with ease actually, and for someone like me. Well money isn’t really a big deal. I can just as easily get more.

After a little perusing I finally found a good dagger. A bayonet; something often mounted at the tips of muskets. Considering the year I find myself, that is the most popular weapon actually.

This one was just the knife with a leather hilt and good old spring steel. Also a small engraving of a snake baring its fangs at the blade’s tip.

Ruth was going to love this. I chose it so of course it would be a perfect gift.

We paid in gems and Maria actually asked for change. She was quite happy at when she received it too.

Was this the first time she actually got money of her own? It seems so.

“Careful, money is the root of all evil.” I grinned at the smiling girl.

“Careful you, now you are sounding like an actual priest.” She replied.

We got out of the shop and headed back to the monastery.

It was a sunny day, a few clouds out and about but still my mood was great. I have great plans for these cultists and today is they day I will set them to motion. We reached the monastery’s premises and in no time the clouds formed up and the colours of the day grew dimmer.

In clear contrast to the lively town the monastery that wasn’t actually very far away possessed a completely different aura… or something like that. Perhaps mother nature wanted to make a point. Maybe there is something more odd going on there.

As we neared the place, the trees started dying, the earth turned infertile and things just seemed more broken. The deep clouds blocking most of the sun’s light.

Maria seemed to notice my reaction and what is was looking at and just made the single comment.

“Home.” A sad tone in her voice.

“Nice and gloomy.” I replied her with a smile.

She just nodded.

We got into the monastery easily enough again.

“You are free to go now. Hope you get better.” I said.

“Hm!? Ahh— yes thank you… I was actually needing this. Thanks… again for saving my life. It meant a lot to me.” She said not really paying much attention to her own words. Then she just added. “Good luck with Ruth, its better if you speak to her without me. We… aren’t on the clearest terms either.” And then she walked.

I nodded. “See you later.” And went over to the dormitory to see the other troublesome sister.

—

I big girl with a shaved head lost no time to stop as I walked into the place. She… or… whatever this creature was could pass as a cave troll with ease. Big, burly and plain dumb.

“No boys allo ed in ere!” She immediately blurted once she spotted me.

I looked at her and stared deep into those things she had on her pox ravaged face. Eyes I think. And she just stood there. Looking back at me.

“No paassin! Away! SHOOO” She kept saying.

Dumb thing is too stupid to be afraid!

Should I kill her? It would be a favour. Yes I should. I quickly took no time and cast the quite popular dismembering spell on her.

The vortex surged on her chest… and. It just marked her! Nothing. No effect!

“GRAWHAHWHAHA” With a burst of speed the creature lunged at me and with a smack sent me off. I actually took off and flew away with a mighty pounce. I ended up landing three meters away from were I was standing.

I looked at her impressed. And casually got up brushing off the dust off my clothes, this was an actually somewhat expensive suit. This thing almost ruined it!

She started walking towards me with her fists closed, she was so fat that I could feel the ground shaking! Or was that just my imagination?

“Listen here creature. If you keep this up I might actually try to kill you. Out of the way!” I Shouted.

“NOO DUM DUMBS ALLO ED!” She shouted.

This is why I hate porters. Goddammit.

She actually went for a hammer punch right at my head. It would be pathetic if I just died like this. Heh, so dodged aside with ease. Making the creature angrier; alright I’m going to end you now. I decided.

I prepared myself for a bigger spell.

“GROM, stop!” Another girl’s voice came off from the distance.

The troll looked back and stared at the girl. And I just casually nodded as I walked inside.

“DUM DUM INSIDE?” The troll asked.

“Yes Grom, he is a very important person and you must do anything he says.” The girl said to the troll.

I was already walking away to my destination when I could hear a taping behind me.

“Wait up master!” The girl said.

I looked back at her. A tall one, she had a ponytail and looked rather spindly. She had a big sharp nose and even sharper eyes. Her hair was raven black and her eyes were dark brown. What stood out the most was that she limped as she ran towards me with a crutch. She was using a wooden splint on her leg. Maybe she broke it or something? She was on her late twenties by her looks.

I allowed her to reach my side and walk beside me.

“I’m sorry about Grom; well she is very serious about her duties. Thank you for not killing her, your mercy is… legendary. She, well is actually quite respected among the women of our community. She keeps us safe. And all that…” Noticing that i was not paying her any attention, uninterested in the subject. She quickly changed it.

“Master Adam… My name is Cornelia, I am honoured to be high master Doghead’s apprentice. He sent me to find you, and deliver a letter, your hands only.” She rummaged through her pockets.

“I… also want to congratulate you on becoming the new grandmaster… eeer acting grandmaster.” She said as she walked closer to me and handed me the letter.

I took it. “Very well, you are dismissed.” I waved her off.

“Is… is there something I can do for you? I mean— with you?” She approached me, leaning towards me and… unbuttoning her robe.

I stood in place as she pressed her chest against my arm and her hands around me.

I looked up into her eyes, she a head taller than me. I gave her a serious frown.

“You —now you are grandmaster any girl would do anything… and I mean anything to earn your favour.” She reached down. Other girls were looking at the scene as she whispered into my ear.

I held her wrist in place.

I find myself utterly disgusted. This kind of attitude… pathetic. Does this actually work? What kind of men wouldn’t be repulsed by such attitudes?

I griped it you enough strength to shatter it.

The girl quickly backed off and noticing that I would not let go went down on her knees.

“Master Adam… You are hurting me! Something wrong? Please let go!” She said amidst clear fake tears. I had shattered her wrist after all.

“Worm.” I said in a deep growl. “BEG! BEG! FOR YOU MISERABLE LIFE!” I shouted in anger as I unsheathed the dagger meant for Ruth as a gift. A few stains on it would be charming…

I found myself a little pissed off at the moment.

“I am sorry!… Please I won’t do it again! Please…” She smashed her head against the floor in fear. Begging.

I let go of her wrist and kicked her out of the away.

As I walked I could not help but think. Damn bootlickers, I can think of few things more disgusting.

Having to surge all these emotions… And for what?

I walked a while and soon found myself standing in front of Ruth’s room. Her door was locked. I courteously knocked.

No answer.

So I knocked again. “Ruth, it’s me Adam. We need to chat.”

No answer yet again.

Dammit. She is acting like I tried to murder her or something! Well… I sort of did now that I think about it…—Anyway, I’m trying to make up for it. I usually go through it.. well…

This is new actually.

So I knocked again. I could hear movement on the other side, she was in there. But she wasn’t unlocking the door.

So I did what any perfectly courteous gentleman would do in this situation.

I gave the door… A GOOD FUCKING KICK.