“Hmm…”
…
“Hmmmmm…”
…
“Oh!... Hmmmmmmmmmmm-.”
“What is the matter mother?” Zao Ning says with slight irritation as he reads the menu. There are many delicacies that Zao Ning has never heard of before so he is quite interested but his mother seems to be having trouble with something.
“Well, it is nothing big.”
“Just say it.”
“I can’t read.”
*smack*
The sound of Zao’s hand hitting himself in the face as he facepalms echoes throughout the open room.
The two are in the main dining room in The Crystal Palace. The enormous room is full of hustle and bustle as hundreds of waiters scurry around to take the orders of their customers. With most customers here being influential people, The Crystal Palace is always running at full speed, giving the well trained waiters not a second to take a break.
Learning that his mother can’t read, Zao is filled with disappointment and sorrow.
To think about how miserable mother’s and her child’s life would have been if I wasn’t her son. It makes me feel pity for any humans below the Spirit Realm.
“Well, what type of food do you crave?”
“How can you even read to begin with, I didn’t teach you?” Wei Ning says as she ignores her son’s question. Zao’s eyebrow twitches a little bit.
After everything that I’ve done, mother has never questioned me. I got into a legendary sect at the Mortal Realm, I saved us from an explosion, I beat the genius of the city in one hit, BUT NOW SHE QUESTIONS ME BECAUSE I CAN READ?
Zao takes a deep breath because his instincts as a son tell her not to get mad at his mother.
“Don’t worry about it. Now, what do you want?”
“To be honest with you son… I am not that hung-.”
“Don’t say it.”
Wei Ning looks at her son with a confused expression.
“Say what?”
“I know what you’re going to say, and I do not need to hear that right now. I will get you a steak. If you don’t finish it, you can take it home. According to the menu, the steak comes from a land far away from here.”
Zao knows that his mother was going to say she wasn’t hungry but he shut that shit right down. Zao heard all about how indecisive humans can be when it comes to food and he refuses to have done all this work just for his mother to not be hungry.
“And I will probably have the… Sesame chicken. Yep, that is what we are getting.”
Wei Ning is confused and can feel her heart strings be pulled as she can tell her son is much more mature than her. Mind you, Wei Ning is only 19 years old, where as Zao’s age is over a million times more than that.
Wei Ning feels bad since it seems like her son is trying so hard for her, yet Wei Ning hasn’t really done much for her son. This causes a knot to form in Wei Ning’s heart and must be resolved if she plans to continue down the path of cultivation.
As Zao sets down his menu, a waiter notices and speed walks his way towards the Ning’s table.
“I see you have decided on your meal young master, what will you be having this evening.”
“Give me the steak meal, and the sesame chicken meal.” Zao says while rubbing the bridge of his nose. Zao can feel a headache coming on as if something bad is going to happen in the future.
“Sounds good, what would you like to drink?”
“Wine, strongest you have.”
The waiter raises an eyebrow as he doubts that a 12 year old can hold alcohol very well but then again, the 3rd Mortal Realm waiter cannot sense Zao’s cultivation level.
“Right away.” The waiter says, bows, and then walks away.
“Son, what about your drink?” Wei Ning asks she is touched that her son ordered her wine but didn’t order a drink for himself.
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
“We both will be drinking wine.” Zao says like this should’ve been obvious.
“What?! You’re not even two!”
Zao laughs when he hears this.
“Don’t worry mother, with my body, I probably won’t even get drunk after drinking two barrels.”
The second Zao says this, the pain in his head pulses for a second, as if warning him, but Zao ignores it.
“Fine, but if you get drunk I’m punishing you tomorrow!” Wei Ning says as she points her finger at Zao with authority.
“Yes ma’am.”
*15 minutes later*
The waiter from before sets the Ning family’s food in front of them and when looking chicken Zao’s mouth begins to water. With a deadly glint in his eyes, Zao begins to tear into his food and devour it ferociously.
Wei Ning on the other hand takes his silverware and begins to eat with extreme etiquette. The contrast between the two is extreme, but that is probably because no one has taught Zao human etiquette and Wei Ning was raised to be the maid of a lord. She had at least received some sort of teaching with etiquette.
Zao gets about halfway through his food and then he finally begins to sip a wine every once in a while. Zao at least knows to not drink unless you have some food in your stomach.
After finishing about three fourths of his food, Zao looks up and around to see several amounts of people within the room staring at him like he was raised by animals.
They aren’t necessarily wrong but the animals that raised Zao Ning could destroy this whole planet with but a thought.
Zao doesn’t even wipe off the sauce from the sides of his mouth as he smiles wide and happily to everyone in the room. Everyone thinks that now the unruly kid will clean up his act but little did they know Zao’s cheeks are starting to turn red and his way of thinking is beginning to blur.
What Zao didn’t know was that the strongest wine in The Crystal Palace could make 8th Mortal Realms tipsy, let alone a 5th Mortal Realm.
Truth be told, Zao should be drunk of his ass but with having such a resilient soul, Zao is somewhat able to stay somewhat conscious.
His mother on the other hand is far beyond saving.
“Hehehehehehe *hiccup*. This steak tastes like steak.” Wei Ning mumbles as she takes another bite of steak followed by another sip of wine.
“Of course it does mother. You should try Ying Land Bull steak though, it is to die for.” Zao says as he laughs when thinking about his past life.
“Like I actually murdered people to just get a taste!” Zao yells and then begins to laugh even harder.
Everyone is now getting thoroughly annoyed with Zao beginning to tell outlandish stories.
Another 30 minutes goes by and the Ning family has already finished their food and are simply drinking wine with each other now.
Zao is now also a lost cause but his mother is in an even worse state.
“And then, I killed his whole family! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Zao laughs like he had just told the funniest story in the world.
News flash, he didn’t.
At least to everyone except for Wei Ning.
“BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Wei Ning yells while leaning back in her chair dangerously. With Wei Ning being drunk, her reflexes have dulled and she begins to fall backwards in the chair.
Wei Ning flails and grabs the first thing she can, that being the table cloth.
*THUD* *CRAASSSH*
Wei Ning falls onto the ground and all the plates, silverware, and cups on the table fall on top of her.
…
…
““HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!””
Zao and Wei Ning begin to laugh loudly at Wei’s accident and finally, someone in the restaurant snaps.
“WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE THROW THEM OUT!” the old man yells as he releases the aura of a 5th Mortal Realm at Zao Ning and his mother.
Zao goes from a happy go lucky mood straight into killing mode as soon as he feels the aura from the old man.
An immeasurable pressure pours out of Zao Ning and he directs it back at the old man.
The old man isn’t worried at first, but when the two’s auras clash, the old man’s face turns pale and he has a look of horror.
“M-Monster!”
Zao jumps onto his table and stares at the old man.
Zao then points at the old man and begins to laugh.
“You should see your face weakling! You look horrified!”
Zao retracts his aura and the mood swing of happiness has reappeared. The old man takes a cold breath of air as someone who is so young was able to push back the old man with aura alone.
Finally, someone from the staff of The Crystal Palace arrives into the main dining hall.
“What is going on!” the middle aged man yells. The old man sighed a breath of relief as he realizes who has just shown up.
“This young devil is ruining everyone’s experience! Please kick him out!” someone in the crowd yells.
This shout if followed by and angry mob yelling multiple things and all of them say to kick Zao Ning out.
The man looks at Zao Ning, who is still standing on the table and is laughing so hard he is crying for some unknown reason. His mother is also still on the floor, but by now she has fallen asleep.
The middle aged man walks up to Zao Ning but Zao keeps laughing at the man.
“What’s so funny young man, you are in a bad predicament right now and you should choose your words carefully.” the man says with a threatening voice. The aura of a 7th Mortal Realm begins to leak from the man’s body.
This doesn’t affect Zao Ning since he has unlimited courage due to being extremely intoxicated.
“You fly is down.” Zao says in between laughs and points at the man’s pants.
The security guard on duty was on the toilet due to a call of dooty and this is why it took someone so long to finally come and deal with the loud duo.
The man grinds his teeth and finally has had enough with Zao Ning.
“Pay and leave!” The man yells.
“Make me.” Zao says as he goes face to face with the man, with the help of the table of course.
“With pleasure.” the security guard says as he fully releases his 7th Mortal Realm Ki. Zao senses this and sends out the first attack while screaming.
"Drunken dragon fist of ultimate destruction that causes death to all!"