It's okay.

I'm far from feeling well, distancing myself from people I don't know, just figures foreign to me.

Someone within the thickness of darkness reaffirmed a "No" to her.

I feel very traumatized in a strange world, foreign to the human eye.

Everything is white, white rooms, white coats, white lights, a white straitjacket. Needles piercing my heart.

Everyone says I'll be okay, but they spend hours talking to me. I feel very alone, I don't want to be. Immersing myself in my own fantasy world, where the sun shines for both of us.

I want to feel good, be loved, and have a mother. Voices urge me to take more, just three more lines!

The doctors advise me to combine it with antipsychotics. My father says otherwise. Another session finished. Today they ended quickly, awaiting the arrival of a new medication, a viral medication.

The dark abyss whispered behind me. "Of course, Dad will adapt it for me."

"I already know that, why do they want me to go to their lab? They say they have the cure."

"Mmm, it's not possible."

The new medication will block the receptors responsible for my disorders, which makes me sad.

"I won't see them anymore."

"Please don't say that, I love them too, really, they know where he is, they could help me."

My adoptive parents don't trust the new treatment. They've subjected me to a large amount, with no result. This led to a fight with my biological father.

It cost us both a considerable sum of money, we're broke. My adoptive father's illness is becoming more expensive.

The government withdrew the subsidies, due to a scandal.

Medications for us stopped being sponsored, budget cuts, and a cheap excuse. My friends were happy to hear the news, fearing being forgotten. Together they make me feel less alone.

At school, I don't have a good reputation. "Maybe it's because of that. It's not like I have another choice. Selling drugs is wrong, I already know that."

An amorphous being filled with darkness laid his hand, caressing her. "The other thing."

"The paid subscriptions. I don't want to talk about that. Yes, I use condoms."

"You find amusement in my adoptive mother's new treatment." He shrugged and puffed out his cheeks.

My mother will be gone for a while, she found a spiritual treatment. An immediate cure, but I lost faith in the first electricity-based treatment.

In others, they opened various parts of the body as an alternative solution.

Finally, they resorted to drug use. That reminds me of my father, I brought him some personal care items. I worked hard to gather the money.

I entered slowly, avoiding making too much noise. "I came to leave you some things, I hope I'm not bothering you. I brought you flowers." I arranged them next to his bed.

"I told you not to spend money on this nonsense."

"I just..." I stammered.

"How much did they cost you?"

I remained silent. "How much did they cost you?!"

The nerves became evident. I started to tidy up, several things fell to the floor.

I heard his screams "You can't do things right."

"Pick up the plants from here." He hit the table, knocking over the drawer with flowers.

The flowers hit my face, causing a small cut.

I cleaned up the mess. The screams didn't stop. In minutes the doctors arrived to calm him down.

My phone rang. "It's mom." I let it go to voicemail, but it kept ringing. It infuriated my father even more.

I reluctantly answered.

"It's my fault." The same phrase repeated 5 times. "Your brother has been kidnapped."

"What did you say?" I started hyperventilating, I needed my lines. Disfigured beings emerged from the darkness, forming a circle, and staring at me.

"It's your fault" "If you weren't sick" "Your father would get all the money" "You're just a burden"

"Why are you alive? Even after being aborted"

I saw myself walking in the third person, touching a huge transparent glass capsule, and looking at a human figure. Suspended in a greenish liquid.

Pulled suddenly, one of the doctors approached to treat me. I told him with tears in my eyes.

"Today I was fired from work, they accused me of manipulating the supermarket accounts. I don't have money to pay."

"I'll pay for it, smile a little. Then make sure you go to school."

"I'm worried about my brother."

"The adults will fix it, that includes me, trust your colleague." The affirmations calmed my demons, so many problems in one day.

Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

On the way home, I spent my last 10 pesos on an ice lolly (pop), especially when summer is hot.

I approached a flyer stuck on a window of the Latin American Tower offices.

We are hiring kitchen assistants with or without experience. I stole the flyer, so no one else will see it and I'll be their only option.

Hurrying to Chapultepec Park. I took a break in a crowded area. My worries haven't subsided despite the journey.

I waited for Mom outside the police station offices. It's overwhelming, the presence of shadow beings, I see them pass by and cover my eyes. It was a bad idea to sit on these benches. They don't stop calling me an abortion.

I involuntarily jumped when touched on the shoulder. "Mother, is everything okay?"

"Do you have money for your fare?"

"No, I spent it on an ice lolly, it was hot." All her anger exploded against me.

"You have no idea how expensive your treatment is, we don't have money for trivialities, I've already told you, but the girl doesn't understand. I haven't bought new clothes for your brother. You're crazy."

The nearby shadow beings stopped. Pointing at her. "She pays half of your treatment"

At that moment, I burst into tears. I walked away sobbing. Curled up under a slide, the doctor appeared.

"I'm your legal advisor."

"I don't want to go." Turning.

"I'll buy you some esquites."

"The big ones?"

"The jumbos."

I took his hand in a gesture of goodwill. I have a guardian angel in this world full of demons. I'll be like him. I'll protect my brother. We reached his apartment without much difficulty, during that time I told him about my distress.

"One of the suspects was captured during the afternoon, they're interrogating him. Seems like some kind of sect. Don't tell her." I nodded as I ate.

"You'll stay overnight today, as usual."

I always feel more comfortable with Doc.

The dinners leave me with a full belly, I relax in the tub and before sleeping he always reads me the same story.

A girl with great character, able to see the future, a heroine.

Once I pretend to fall asleep, I'll enter the browser. I'm intrigued by that organization.

The only light illuminating the darkness's bowels, keeping unwelcome guests away, is from the monitor.

A small clip slid the content bar, in a vast sea of information. I found nothing related on the surface layer of the internet.

I lay on the bed waiting for a solution.

"At the moment, I don't feel like talking," she said to the voices.

"The Deep Web" "Dark web."

I got up heavily, trying to find a way in. It's going to be a long night, uh.

I logged into an alternative browser. I entered the darkest forums of the Deep Web, where the murkiest secrets of humanity were traded like cheap goods.

Amidst all that depravity, nothing seemed to fit what I was looking for.

I spent hours browsing through forums until, at one point, I found a coded mention in Spanish.

"The Coven of the Black Seed."

I scrolled through photos of people from all over the world, displayed like items. Beneath each one, is a detailed medical description.

I recognized some of the "items" for sale: bloodied scalps, pulled teeth, and pieces of human skin.

"This is a black market."

I almost closed the page immediately, but something caught my eye amidst all the horror.

A dark section promoting "special gifts."

One of the last images was a child's face, gagged with eyes wide open in panic. I recognized those features.

"No, no, nooo."

"Pills, where are they?"

I grabbed a jar of dry pills, hoping to unveil the true picture.

"DISAPPEAR, why don't you disappear, take more pills, guys, that's what I'll do."

The screen flickered, the images distorted into a swirl of blurry pixels.

"That noise again," I brought my hands to my head.

Emerging from the digital depths, first one hand, then another. A shapeless and indistinct mass turned into a humanoid figure.

I recoiled, and the chair fell to the floor as I collided with the desk.

This couldn't be real, it had to be some trick, another product of my sick mind playing a trick on me.

"We know where the child is. But you're the one to blame for his misfortune."

"If only you didn't exist... if you had never been born." One of its claws extended towards me. "None of this would be happening, dear."

"Calm down, little one. I'll tell you where to find him... but everything in this life has a price. And you already know the price."

I blinked. "What was this thing talking about? What price?" I shook my head, unable to look away from those dead eyes.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about? I'll do anything! I'll pay whatever you ask! Just tell me where he is!"

It widened its macabre smile, drawing closer again in a swaying, viscous motion. "Oh, believe me, you know... you've known since the moment of your birth."

"That's the price you'll have to pay. The debt you've been carrying."

I fell to the ground, closing my eyes. I already knew the price... and it's consuming me from within.

Today I started the morning on the wrong foot, all sleep-deprived with a horribly noisy bottleneck.

We've been stranded for over 20 minutes now. At this rate, I won't make it to school, not that it matters much, I usually go once or twice a month, you know, my condition doesn't allow me to attend classes normally.

By the way, I'm super intelligent, not that I'm saying it, ahem. After a while, we managed to move forward, all chaos ahead, a guy approached us armed, taking our cell phones, among other things.

"Lower your window at once, you know the drill." He showed his gun in front of the driver and the co-driver.

Reluctantly, I let go of my things.

"I've seen you, you were on TV yesterday." The Doc confirmed my statements.

"This girl knows us. There are already about 20 people who claim to have seen us on TV."

"Are you serious?" I showed skepticism towards his comments.

"We are the group called Bloody Wings. We control the city now. I'm Alias Taco and my partner is Alias Salsa. If you need any service, I'll leave you my business card."

"This couldn't be more absurd." Even in my last lucid moments, I don't experience this kind of thing.

I must admit their great feat. Controlling all the plazas in the city. I asked them about the offers mentioned in the brochure.

"You're looking for drugs. Look, we'll give you a sample of our flagship product."

I received some staples with at least two grams of content. "Just call the indicated phone to offer you merchandise."

"One more thing."

"Tell me, kid, I don't have all the time in the world." He leaned in closer, halfway into the car, placing the gun in front of me.

"How much does the hitman service cost?"

"So young and already with so many problems. Young lady, that's something I didn't expect. Look, girl, for sending someone to meet Saint Peter, it's 10 grand."

"It's a bit more complicated," I thought aloud.

"Tell me your password."

"My password," I replied thoughtfully.

"I speak in Yucatecan or what mija"

"!The next"

A new victim took our place. They were disrupting vehicular traffic without any type of resistance, I counted about 50 armed guys.

Turning one of the back corners, the cops and some elements of the army were worth a damn. Taking a break or so it seems.

"I won't say anything, it's your turn." The doctor told him.

This sigh.

Roll down the window "There's a checkpoint around the corner, a mass assault, they need you there."

"Don't get involved in our affairs, kid. We're feeling generous today. Go on before I give you a ticket."

"I wish I wasn’t lucid right now." I said with complete confidence.

The Doc smiled. "Don't get involved with those kinds of people to get drugs. You already have your plants."

"I know, but the whole process is overwhelming."

"Today, new experimental drugs will arrive along with viral medications. I'll see if I can get you some. And don't hire any of their services, miss. The police will find out."

"Are you an angel fallen from heaven or just too naive?"

"You seem like a different person when you're sober," the Doc said, checking the rearview mirror, glancing at her as she just applied lipstick. "I'll drop you off in front of the subway terminal and don't do anything stupid, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, Doc, whatever you say," she closed the door with more force than necessary.

Leaving the kidnapping of my brother in the hands of some idiots makes me anxious. I'll take matters into my own hands. Today, I'll bother the head of the computer area.

Laughing, she descended the stairs and joined the constant flow of people inside the station.