“I want to die”
This is something that comes across the minds of a lot of people. It is quite morbid to be honest. The wish of ending one’s life is quite taboo on it’s own. But wishing for your own death is something else entirely. Be it depression or just whining about the inconveniences in life, such dark thought often comes to the minds of most people. But I have never come across such thoughts. And yet here I am stuck in a hospital bed after getting run over by a car that lost control. I have never wished for death to come yet here he is smiling at me as if screaming to me in his head “I’M HOME!” like a giddy japanese school girl. Oh how unlucky. But I guess I should tell you the whole story behind this incident. And how I was unwillingly put into an fake “isekai” situation that weeaboos would probably drool over.
The story I have in my opinion, is a very bland one. One filled with more cliches than a primetime telenovela. It’s a horrid joke. Your life would probably be better not knowing it, yet I am urged to tell it. Why? No particular reason really. Though my story is not the best, I would like to leave some sort of record of what I have experienced. That is the least I can do, after all the universe might soon experience it’s inevitable heat death, so I can at least leave something for the anti-spiral to remember me by. Speaking of myself, I haven’t introduced myself yet. My name is Fuwa Tomo. Despite how it sounds, I am not Japanese. I asked my parents why I have such an ethnically confusing name and they say that the Japanese nurse that took care of my Mother and me called me a “fluffy friend” from how I looked. Sure my hair looks like it’s a fluffy animal stuck to my head now that i’m 16 years of age, but how did the nurse know this? And why decide my name from such an uninspired feature? Why do some people still think the earth is flat? We may never know. Aside from my overly-fluffed hair, I have no other unique features. I’m the perfect example of a garden-variety girl of my age. Although I may seem a bit tomboyish at times, I'm still a young maiden by heart.
But that’s enough about myself, I’m here to tell you about my story. To put it simply, I met a god. A deity of unknown power and origin. An entity that surpasses all human logic. Meeting a god. Does one consider such event lucky? To meet something of unimaginable power. The chance of having your wishes granted. I’ve never been a lucky person. I always lost at rock paper scissors, and i have never won anything luck related. So my take on it is that meeting god, is unlucky. Considering the fact that my reason for meeting this god was a random slice of fatty tuna that flew out of nowhere, hitting me directly on the face with the strength of seven young boys, causing me to fall off balance into speeding traffic. Now that I think about it, that piece of tuna was beautiful. It was glistening, and perfectly cut. The kind you would pay good money for. Was it god’s tuna? To say that I, a regular girl was hit by god’s tuna then got hit by a white toyota doing tofu deliveries is something out of an anime. What a weird anime.
The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.
Let’s talk about this god I met. How does one perceive god? A bright light, a faceless being, a loli with a silly hat. There have been many representations from various media. But this particular god is quite surprising. I meant it as a joke but I never saw it coming. And it’s downright silly now that i think about it. There I stood, in a black void in front of me is a little girl with a silly hat. “Oh, it seems I made a mistake” the little girl says in the most monotone and uninterested manner I have ever heard. I just got hit by an ae86 sprinter trueno, please show more concern. “Hello there, I am the god of this place” said the little girl. “Unbelievable as it may seem, you just died a moment ago”. Well of course i’m dead, I got hit by a freaking trueno. Anyways what’s with her get-up? She’s wearing a dress fluffier than even my hair and she has horns curling up her head. Is she really a god or the devil? Anyways she looks more like a sheep. “But do not worry, it is not your time to go yet. So we will give you give you a second chance. Well it was our fault in the first place though”. Hey wait, isn’t this exactly like the situation in isekai fantasies? Am I going to be a hero in a fantasy world? Will I be super OP and stuff? Those are the thoughts going through my mind right now. My very own fantasy adventure! How exciting! I held my breath, then I asked the little girl in a sheep outfit in front of me, “Will I get transported to a fantasy world where i gain tremendous powers and fame?” The little girl looked surprised. Did I get it right? “Sadly no, you will not be transported to another world or any of that other stuff. We will however make it so that you will live, although you’ll be in a coma for a few months”.
Disappointment. Utter disappointment. My disappointment is immesurrable and my day is ruined. Not only was I unjustly killed by the tag team of a godly piece of fish and a speeding car, but I was also denied the chance to experience the overused yet tempting cliche of an isekai story. “Though it was my fault it the first place, so I guess I’ll give you a little perk, just between the two of us”. Hey hey, is this sheep loli really a god? I’m really beginning to doubt it. Though my doubts were completely and utterly blown away in a single blow. One fluid, swift, deadly yet artistic blow. The little sheep girl summoned in her hand, one long staff with a hooked blade at the end. A large scythe that screamed death. I stood there motionless, unable to react as the little girl brought the blade to my neck. There at that moment, all the events that transpired seemed to make sense, even for just a mome- NOT!
“I want to die”
It’s something I always hear the “depressed” people on the internet say. I have never wished for death, yet here I am. Face to face with the loli god of death. I was just gonna buy some cup noodles... How did I even get here? If I ever survive this, I’m just gonna order take out. But I dont think I will. Might as well savor my last few moments as the sheep loli’s blade finally decapita-....