The insight that my actions could drastically change a person's life and even erase said life gave me the chills.
I had the power to turn this world upside down, to create my own heaven while walking on the shattered ruins of what was once man-made, by billions of helping hands.
In me was the potential to crush everything into the dust, to turn humanity into just another blink in the history of the universe, no scratch that. I could create whole new realities by a whim, forget single worlds, I could form dimensions!
Many peple would be overjoyed with such a chance, to finally realize their dreams, their darkest desires, shoveled into locked crypts to never see daylight again. Some would take this chance to darn anything in existence.
I won't lie, I had these same selfish desires, the same vivid dreams with a phantasmic version of myself going on killing sprees, raping and pillaging, slaughtering or just enjoying the fantasy of a fully functional family. They were all bottled up inside me, deep down, and what I feared the most was not those thoughts in itself but the off-chance that they would writhe their ugly visages once more into daylight.
For me life was something unique, something that no higher power had the right to have their hand in it. I could for example, as long as my powers were trully allmighty, create worlds just for my own enjoyment and fill them with life how I wish it. But my morals didn't allow for such an action. And it tore me apart.
I am a coward, a lying and deceiving bastard that always puts a mask on, even around his closest friends, and one that was too afraid to take the chance that offered itself.
The fear of consequences, that I could destroy or alter countless lifes, it crippled me and left me sobbing on the ground.
It was an all to familiar drone that ripped my sanity free from the enthralling whispers of cowardice.
My skin crawled but my body still leapt forward, clawing at the screen with spastic movements.
'Then.Let's.Put.Your.Resolve.,.Your.Fear.,.To.The.Test.And.See.What.You.Are.Truly.Made.Off.', a foreboding presence crept up on me, a touch of glacial coldness on my neck and before I knew it I was inside a dimly lit room facing an eggshell white wall.
I stood still, ramrod straight, and just gaped at the wall with a slack jaw. My senses were numb and my lungs devoid of air; whatever presence was holding me was clearly above just simple omnipotency as I was actually feeling my life drain away from me.
The phone rang once again, my eyes able to catch a glimpse of the phone that was in my limp left.
'Test.Number.One.'
Feeling returned to me like a tidal wave, crashing into me furiously with all its might. I gasped, thristed for air, and greedily sucked like a fish on land.
Still somewhat dazed from the prior lack of oxygen I looked down at myself with glazed eyes. I had one of my old leather jackets on and loose, grey sweats. When did I clothe myself? I had no idea.
"Haa!", a sharp gasp prompted me to turn around.
'What... The... Hell?'
-----------(POV: Unknown)------------
I placed my tablet to the side, the pure white ablaze like actual paper. It was a wonderful idea of my mother, a small present that gave me so much more than I could have ever hoped for. It gave me refuge, was a sanctuary of homeliness and adventure for me. Because unlike in my real life, in the stories I read and wrote I could be anything!
A queen! Commanding large platoons of soldiers while my king coaxed me whenever I wished, craddled me and treated me like his most important treasure.
Or an adventuress! Bracing the biting wind atop the cliffs of sheer mountainfaces, seeking shelter beneath a ledge and finding a legendary artifact buried in its cavernous depths. Soon after I would climb the ladder of success, become known far and wide over the whole world. Tales would be told about me, twisted by time they would soon be legends and myths. Such a life would be wonderful.
Or maybe, just maybe, a normal girl... Go out with my friends, talk, laugh, drink and eat; fawn over my crush or be simply loved by someone else that isn't my family...
I could do all that with a normal body, but instead fate, or God -How some love to call that whore!-, was not so kind and instead gifted me with acute leukaemia, chaining me to the hospital for a painful and short life. At least the medication didn't affect me enough to lose even my imagination, the only haven I have left.
Again it was out of simple habit as I tried to brush my once long, brown hairs out of my face, only to realize that I was still the disfigured version of my past self.
The doctor already told me, quick and painless without any spiel, that my life would come to an end in a few years time if I am lucky. The cancer killing me slowly from the inside as my organs start to fail and my will succumb to the disease. It was a process I did not wish to experience. 'Rather I'd take my life than wither away.'
With hands of deathly pale complexion I pulled up the covers, shielding myself from the warm and yet too cold air. My eyes closed and my ears perked up to the rythmic sound of my own shallow heartbeat and the machinations that kept me alive.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*. *Wrrruu* *Wrrruu* *Wrrruu*
It was a symphonic interplay of all that which signified my premature passing. The more they played the shorter my life was, a melody of death.
As my mind attuned to the beat it took only a single disturbance to force me to attention. In the almost too quiet room, with only the various monitors and screens giving off their eery limegreen light and the constant humming of the machines, another presence stepped in.
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
Announced by a startling click and a rattle reminiscient of screws turned loose I expected the worst, that one of the machines failed me.
Whatever it was I immediately alarmed the nurse before I managed to look around the shadowy room.
My gaze lingered on the heap of eletronics at my side, none the wiser as they all seemed to function properly, before I let it shift through the room.
It took another series of metallic noise before I was enabled to locate its origin. Forcefully sitting myself up as the IV wormed around my snagged arm it took a couple of seconds before my back rested against the propped up pillow.
Almost impalpable, indescernable by the nacked eye, a figure stood at the far end wall opposite of me. A tall, scrawny sillhouette of a... a thing clad in black.
"Haah!", I sharply inhaled the stale air, my thoughts entangled and confused about the foreign presence, about the intruder, before I covered my bluish lips.
The air was unnaturally cold, freezing almost, and for my battered body it was akin to a wintry gale whipping my naked flesh.
'Something was wrong, something was definetely wrong! I need he-!'
My thoughts came to a tumbling stop as the figure began turning to face me. The seconds ticked away and with each that passed the creature began growing in my eyes. It was something straight out of a nightmare.
'A feverish hallucination, th-that's it!', I tried to reason with myself but soon enough the ghastly face was lit by the artificial light in full its splendor.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep!* *Beep!* *Beep!*
My heart clenched and palpitated and delusions kept arising, though they were ruthlessly shattered as reality reared its head and fears turned true.
It was the ashen skull of something human and yet alien. A flesh barren jaw with sharp and jagged teeth, their stench foul and wafting all the way up to me; eyesockets frilled with black trimmings and a sheen of sanguine red; malars unnaturaly high as if the creature was laughing diabolically.
"A-are... Are you death?", I stuttered and only the rustle of black robes and shifting of skeletal feet answered back.
A limp hand rose to its front, grasping a bock banded in what looked to be gruesomely manufactured leather, with spots of blood and gore still splattered all over the sickly coloured hide.
To my question the wraith, specter or demon scurried through its book with hasty eyes, or whatever the red lights represented. It perused the pages in leisure, not a sound made as it slowly scuffed forward.
"P-please... I-I-I don't want to die.", my eyes teared up and emotions surged but the reaper kept its steady pace. And before I realized the grim stood with heels clasped together above me, leaning its ugly visage before my face.
Though fear and terror ran throguh my veins it was not at the level where it could actually harm me. A kind of calm drapped over me and helped me cope with these tempesting feelings.
'Am I accepting my death? Is it that simple?', I pondered for a second before the gruff rasp of bone against bone took my attention.
"Fear not...", its grated voice told. "Today is not your day.", croaking it finished off.
"Th-then-", almost hopefully I called out before Death stopped me a boned finger.
"I can not help you... Life is not my agenda.", it mumbled and the moment I just as much as blinked it was gone, spirited away and only a rough surfaced piece of paper left in my lap.
As soon as it had fled the nurse came barging in, her face alarmed with sweat trickling down.
"Wh-Who were you talking too?! Why was the door locked? W-What happened?!", she began her inquiry but I could only shrug my shoulders and tell her a white lie, hiding the piece of paper behind my back.
"I-I had a nightmare and was o-only talking to myself to calm my nerves...", I grinned innocently and soon the nurse gave a warm smile. She sighed relieved, though only after inspecting ever nook and crannie of the room, and gave me motherly look.
As the nervous woman left, checking underneath the bed once more before, I unfolded the paper in my weak hands.
"If you think you know what you deserve, call for me."
It stated without any other information.
I caressed the paper that strangely felt like live skin with its same warmth and held it against my chest. My heart pounded but soon calmed down, winded and exhausted I fell asleep.
My life changed drastically afterwards.
-----------
'What.A.Goody.Two.Shoes.You.Are.,.Truly.Admirable.', God mocked me as we stood once again in my own room, the sun still shining and contrasting to the moon that hung above the hospital just a second ago.
I kneeled on the ground, the cold still rattling me through the bones and the taxing ploy knackering me.
"Fuck you.", I spit out, hateful for God and his stupid test.
'This.Time.It.Was.A.Somewhat.Harder.Choice.,.Right?But.I.Promise.The.Next.Test.Will.Rid.You.Of.Your.Indecisiveness.'
"Another test?!", was all I managed to shout out before my body was once more in the cold clutches of something far beyond me and my presumably allmighty 'powers'.
It would still be a long day, a mentally scarring one, I knew for sure.