Ice, a wondrous, interesting mix of oxygen and H2O. Without H2O, we dehydrate, and we die. Without oxygen, we can't breathe, and we die. Ice was a blend of two things that kept us alive. So, it was no wonder that Ice mystified me. Throwing snowballs at my friends, drinking cool water with ice inside on a scorching summer day, sliding across an ice field playing hockey.
Ice was an everyday mainstay in my life for good reason. I spent most of my time with it. Playing with it, watching it melt, watching it slowly become frozen after my mother put it into the freezer. Unfortunately, long term exposure to the ice proved deadly. Too much time throwing snowballs gave me frostbite and deadened the nerves in my fingers. Too much time outside in the cold skating away weakened my immune system to the point where I had to be put inside of a literal bubble whenever I went outside. Drinking too much icy water and eating too much ice cream had caused my gums and teeth to become oversensitive. It all went quite wrong quite fast, which is no way to live for a person with the ice fascination that I had.
I could not live in a bubble the rest of my life, cursed to never be able to touch someone without risking death, not even my parents. So, I made a choice after my parents had died of COVID-19, I had no one left to live for. I chose my 21st birthday, the day after Christmas. That is the date that I chose to die. I walked outside of my home, bubble free and seeing the ice that I loved, one last time.
I dropped to the ground, just a few steps from my yard. The air became harder to breathe in and black spots began to color my vision. I watched as a single snowflake, a singular and unique snowflake, separated from the other snowflakes and landed on my nose. I felt a lick on the side of my face, and turned my head, my breathing slowed to a crawl.
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I saw a large black, red eyed dog looking at me, its eyes filled with curiosity. I smiled, slowly moving my hand to its fur, stroking it before closing my eyes and feeling my breathing stop. At that moment, I felt a disconnection from my entire body. No weight in my chest, no heaviness in my arms and legs, no pounding in my head at my lack of oxygen in my lungs. I was dead but for just a moment because then I felt a deep, all surrounding cold. It filled me in my lungs. It was oddly comfortable.
Had an ambulance gotten to me in time, pumping my lungs full of that life enriching oxygen? Well, after my mandatory two months in the mental hospital, I will try again. Hopefully this time, I will succeed. I opened my eyes and caught the oddest sight. It was like looking into a pair of glasses that was not my prescription. I attempted to reach out to the blurry shapes, trying to figure out what they were but I could not move my arms.
When I tried to move my head, to see what was impeding me from moving my arms, I realized that I could not move my head! Was I in a coma?! Had my attempt to die resulted in being stuck in my own head, forever? I was in the middle of freaking out when the sound of something breaking came from all around me. What was going wrong?! I felt a hand grab me by my sides and pull me.
Suddenly, everything became clear, and I could see who was in front of me. A huge man, a giant, held me in his hands. He was not human, his entire body looked like it was made of glass. Or was it ice? Only the hair on his face and head looked remotely human. What in the hell was he?