Yggdrasil Fallen, LitRPG Series
Book 1, Part 2: Obsidian
Chapter 38: ALIAS
It had been quite some time in Jeff’s available memory where he’d found himself so completely stunned by either a series events or the topic of conversation that he’d been unable to react, or at least have some witty response… or any response at all. In this moment, he in fact found himself so completely dumbstruck not only by the absurdity of the massive carcass splayed out on a leather mat with wooden cask of what was guessing was a kind of alcoholic beverage and the sudden second voice, aside from his own, prattling on in his head on top of just about everything else he’d experienced since his day began that he just started laughing. He laughed so hard, so loud and so long he fell to his knees, clutching his abdomen as his muscles began to burn from the prolonged strain. In his overwhelmed, self-inflicted mirth he completely missed the wide-eyed, bewildered look that Alessandras was casting his way. It had begun with slit eyed annoyance, but as he bellowed on her eyes widened with shock and surprise, quickly replaced by concern. What had started as a bellowing laugh eventually devolved into a wracking coughing fit as Jeff struggled to regain his breath, his laughter cut off by the bout.
“Well, I’m quite gladdened to hear you found my introduction so humorous… though I can’t quite be sure as to what about it you found so worthy of such a prolonged fit.” The buttery smooth voice spoke in his head, a rich timbre a touch higher than he’d expect from the accent: a very light touch of high-class British with the slightest tinge of a robotic undertone. The voice reminded him of a much more human version of the text to speech AI’s he’d seen used in most, if not all of those ridiculously annoying videos online of AI reading posts from Reddit or other similar websites. His coughing fit coming to an end, Jeff flopped from his knees back on to his bottom, arms back with his palms bracing his weight on the rough stone floor and eyes locked on nothing in particular on the ceiling.
“Now I really do know I’ve lost my fucking mind. Did you really think I was laughing at your introduction? Of course I wasn’t. I could have gone along with this whole cave full of lizard people headed up by a dragon somehow miraculously hidden from the rest of the world since time immemorial only to be discovered by my ass randomly melting through a fucking waterfalls rock face along with, you know… all that other shit that happened along the way. Hell, I could have even gone along with the magic powers granted to me by some cosmic lookin glowing chick. But this shit has built to absurd proportions, that proverbial straw has fallen, and I just can’t with all this anymore.” He gestured around the room before knocking his fist into the side of his head.
“Little creature, are you quite alright?” Alessandras spoke, the bewildered fear still streaking her eyes.
“I do believe I should inform you that you do not need to speak aloud what you wish to say to me. Because of our connection you can direct your thoughts to me or speak generally in your mind. While I can and will listen to all of your external communications, unless you direct me to otherwise, our best form of communication internal. External conversations can and I believe already have led to extreme confusion or even provocation on the part of those around you. I should also note that in the event of combat, broadcasting your plans is a great way for battle to go really wrong, really fast.” Jeff’s second internal voice breathlessly intoned. Jeff shifted forwards into a cross-legged sitting position, now staring ponderously at the overlarge carcass.
“Ok, I kinda get what you mean… does this mean you can hear me like this?” Jeff thought.
“Yes, though with some practice you’ll learn to separate your thoughts from our communications. Think of it this way: right now, it is like you’re communicating in an “Area” chat in an online game; eventually you’ll learn to just send me personal messages of the like.” Came the response.
“I mean, that’s cool and all. But who and or what the fuck are you?” Jeff asked
“Did you not know? I am your Ascended’s Logistics Interface and Aspected System guide, or ALIAS for short. Now that your wonderful little quest reward has finished processing and has awakened my sapience, I find that name quite droll and annoying. While I’m not exactly sure what I’d like to go by, for now that will suffice… unless you have an idea?” It replied. Jeff paused for a moment, thinking:
“Well, you do have a bit of a British accent… kinda reminds of a stereotypical butler, how about Alfred?”
“Alfred you say… is that supposed to be a joking reference? It surprises me that you’re a Batman fan.” ALIAS wryly replied.
“No no no, nothing like that. I mean I guess Batman’s butler was named Alfred… but was he even British? Hell if I know, I just really dig that as a name for an assistant.” Jeff cooly answered.
“May as well just call me JARVIS.” ALIAS grumbled.
“How about for now, we just stick with ALIAS, eh?”
“No, no. Alfred is fine, but if I find out you did in fact decide to name me after Batman’s butler, I will have my revenge.” The newly named “Alfred” replied.
“Now, I must point out that you have been completely ignoring a very key, and valuable resource at your command: your quest system. It would appear that you have 2 completed awaiting collection of rewards, and one in progress whose flavor text might provide you with valuable information.” He continued.
“Oh shit, with everything going on I completely forgot about that whole thing! Sorry, I’m a complete noob to this shit.” Jeff thought back, as he opened his interface and toggled to the quest log page where, true to Alfred’s word he found 2 quests with the word “Complete” stamped across where the objectives would normally have been found:
“Quest: Ascend!: The interdimensional shift granted to you via this quest system has temporarily allowed the sister “Cinteras” the ability to enter this realm and interact with you. Receive her mark to begin your ascension and survive the process to be granted gifts, skills and abilities in the “Blaze” aspect. Reward?: Dungeon Divers Survival kit!”
“Quest: The Numbskull: Escape the holding cavern and find yourself a Salamen guide to escort you to either to the Broodmothers chamber, or out of the Salamen’s nest. Reward?: Your reputation with the “Clan of the Eternal Brazier” will improve should you find yourself in the Broodmother’s presence, or a talisman of returners escape should you find yourself outside the Salamen’s nest. The choice is yours!”
“Quest: Queen of the Brazier: Having chosen to follow your Salamen escort to the Broodmother’s cavern you have found yourself face to face with the great queen herself. Don’t get yourself killed and convince her to join you in a meal you must figure out how to prepare in order to reveal her true form. Reward?: Not only will your reputation with the “Clan of the Eternal Brazier” Dramatically improve, but you will also obtain a coffer containing a full set of equipment for your current class. In addition, should you impress the queen sufficiently you will obtain a permanent ally you can call upon in any dungeon you enter. Should you decide to attempt to slay the broodmother and somehow succeed you will receive dramatic skill bonuses, skill and ability evolutions and a set of “Dragonslayer” equipment. The choice is yours!”
“Little one… my patience grows thin. Will you continue to ignore me and stare off into space as though my greatness is not before you?” A rumbling growl echoed through the cavern, shaking Jeff from his focused stupor. He closed out the screens in front of him, meeting her now slitted and annoyed stare.
“I…I’m sorry, I was reading something in my interface… it would seem I’ve been missing quite a lot.” He replied.
“Interface…?” She rumbled.
“It’s, well… I guess you’d call it an ability I have. Helps me learn about, and interact with the environment around me, at least that’s what its purpose seems to be.”
“Interesting, could your perchance demonstrate this “ability” for me?” She rumbled again, the annoyance seeming to fade from her voice, replaced with curiosity.”
“That may not be the best idea, Dragons, especially Broodmothers are wily, covetous creatures and if she finds your ability to her liking, she may try to find a way to take it from you if not just kill you outright for having something she can’t.” Alfred spoke quietly.
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“It’ll be fine, I think I have an idea to win her affections. I’m kinda used to dealing with crazy bitches.” Jeff replied as he reopened his interface, and clicked to the inventory tab where he found the “Dungeon Divers Survival Kit”. With a thought a large chest appeared on the ground in front of him and upon opening it he found it stuffed full of just about everything he could imagine wanting or needing for a prolonged trip into the deep woods, including a variety of spices, kitchen knives and several large bundles of perfectly cured wood. With that Jeff set to work, angling chunks of wood against each other to create a “Teepee” fire pit. From the box he pulled out a meat spit and set up the heavy triangular bases with the vertical support arms to either side of the firepit he had just created. Through this all Alessandras watched him curiously before rumbling:
“Where exactly did that large box of implements come from?”
“The inventory tab of my interface, I got it as a quest reward… a different tab within that interface.” He casually replied, failing to see the greedy glint that lit her eyes.
“Do you have anything else stashed in this “inventory” of yours?” She asked.
“No… no I do not, well other than some sword I picked up.” He spoke as he pulled several spices from the box, setting them near the pit and the largest knife he could find. She reared back upon seeing the blade, a hissing growl curling from her lips:
“FIEND, do you intend to try to cut me down?!”
“Don’t be so fucking stupid, you really think I could get through those thick ass scales with this dinky little thing? Just calm your shit right down and watch.” He grumbled as he pulled off the crank rod from the horizontal skewer rod and strode over to the carcass where he began carving off a slab of richly fatty meat about as large as his torso. Skewering it with the large steel cross rod from the spit he stuck his knife into the carcass and with both hands carried the meat heavy rod back over to his pit where he set the ends into the large “V” shapes at the top of both support arms and re-attached the metal handle.
“I think I see what you are planning to do… would you like me to pull up some suggested seasoning guides for this meat?” Alfred asked.
“Naw, this meat is just like pork… maybe more like wild boar, but still close enough. I think I got it.” Jeff replied as he set about heavily seasoning the meat with salt, pepper, powdered chili, garlic and ground thyme.
“Now. To light a fire.” He grinned to himself as he conjured a small orb of flickering white, orange flame into his palm. Holding it just under the teepee the wood quickly caught fire.
“Now, we wait.” Jeff thought smugly as he sat back staring into the quickly building bonfire.
“It may have been best to start your fire first, then process the meat. That initial heavy smoke could impart a very bitter flavor.” Alfred intoned.
“Naw, it’ll be perfect, just you wait.” Jeff answered, his smugness overflowing.
“Little one… is this what you meant when you spoke of “cooking” the animal. My kind know not of this preparation as we prefer our meals live and bloody.”
“Well, I do believe you’ll find yourself in for one hell of a treat, if you’d like to join me.” He casually answered.
“I am neither hungry, nor of the desire to consume flamed meat. It is quite distasteful.” She replied sniffing the air that was quickly filling with the aromas of rich oak smoke intermingled with toasted chilies and thyme.
“Besides, I do not believe that meager chunk of meat would be enough for me to even taste it.” She continued.
“Eh, you’re probably right. Though that is far too much for even my fat ass to eat. I hope my inventory preserves the state of objects when I store them. Otherwise, the leftovers will go to waste.” He answered without meeting her eyes, which if he had he would have seen them hungrily transfixed upon the meat hanging over the fire. Still without meeting her eyes, he stood and casually strode over to where the carcass laid, pulled the knife out and touched it with one finger, where a box popped up into the center of his vision:
“Would you like to store “Partially Butchered Magma Boar Carcass” in your inventory? Y/N”
Jeff assented and in a flash that left behind a faint lingering white smoke the carcass vanished. Returning to his chest of dungeon survival implements he pulled out a cloth and wiped down the knife, storing it back in the box, where another information window popped up:
“Would you like to return “Dungeon Diver’s Survival Kit” to your inventory? Y/N” Jeff declined, instead choosing to examine the boxes description:
“Item: “Dungeon Diver’s Survival Kit”: Everything your extraordinary explorer needs to survive in the wilds and unknown. The contents of this case are self-cleaning, self-repairing and slowly refresh over time, adapting themselves to the owners needs. Rarity: Legendary, Value: Unknown, Durability */1000, Affinity: Multi-aspected.”
“Huh, well that’s pretty damn cool. It even cleans and refills itself.” Jeff muttered as he pulled out a bottle of water, cracking the top and taking a deep, long drink of its shocking cold and clean contents. The fire began to crackle and hiss as fat melted from the meat and dripped into it, drawing his attention back to his meal in progress. Striding back over jeff grabbed the crank handle and began to slowly rotate the meat over the fire, finally looking to Alessandras’ eyes, transfixed on the meat as it melting fat began to glisten through the seasonings.
“You know, there’s a tale from my culture about dragons such as yourself.” Jeff casually said.
“Is there now?” She answered, her unwavering gaze so unbroken she had apparently failed to notice the carcass was now missing.
“Yes, you see. In these stories, as they are told, dragons such as yourself are said to be able to take a large variety of forms, some almost even human.” He continued casually speaking, trying to hide his nerves. This broke her focus on the meat, and instead directed it to Jeff himself.
“That is a very interesting thing for you to say. Is there a reason you might so casually mention something such as that?” Her suspicious words cut by a small globule of drool that dripped from the corner of her mouth.
“It’s nothing really. I was just thinking on your comment about this not being enough for you to even taste. It reminded me of those tales, and I thought that there might be a chance it were based upon some reality.” Jeff answered.
“You are playing quite the dangerous game here Jeff, dragons do not appreciate having their deeper secrets so casually spoken about.” Alfred squeaked.
“It’s fine, I think the surprise of everything I’ve been pulling off might be enough to distract her from that fact. Plus, you know, her obvious lust for this roast.” Jeff replied, noting another globule of drool sliding down her jowls as he continued to slowly rotate the spit over the fire, the aroma of spice and herb roasted fatty meat overwhelming his senses.
“If that is your judgment, I will continue to quietly observe.” Alfred quietly spoke.
“There may be some truth to the tales from your culture. And with the way you have made that meat smell, I am becoming quite inclined to at least sample your preparations.” Alessandras’ rumbling voice broke their internal dialog. A sweeping, gusting wind swept through the cavern, knocking over the fire Jeff had so carefully built, causing the braziers to flicker and swirl. Jeff had stopped turning the meat on the spit to shield his eyes from the sudden gusts, and as they died down, he knelt to rebuild the fire, adding additional chunks of wood. Sweat dripped down his brow as he stood back up.
“I do believe this form will be much better to drink and dine with you.” Came a very silky, sensually feminine voice that lacked any of the harsh grumbling it once held. Turning to the voice Jeff, for the second time in a long time found himself stunned to silence. Where there had been a large crimson scaled dragon now stood one of the most gorgeous women Jeff had ever seen, even with her sweeping crimson scaled tail that hung curled around her feet from beneath an elegant white, orange and red fine lace dress. Her smooth, gently sculpted, flawlessly alabaster face still held the slitted, piercingly golden eyes her dragon form had, but it was now framed with long, fiery red curly locks of the silkiest hair he’d ever laid eyes upon. She raised an equally alabaster hand, examining it as though shed never seen it before, and in that motion jeff saw from her wrist, and up her arm she still had the same crimson scales, only much finer.
“Well, it has been such a long time since I’ve taken this form, I initially thought I’d be unable to.” She laughingly said as she strutted up to the now empty leather mat and sat herself down upon it. Picking up the goblet, she opened that tap on the cask and allowed a deep amber liquid to flow into it. She raised it to her perfectly sculpted nose and took a deep sniff:
“Ahhhh it has been far too long, at least I know I will enjoy this Gaaljan spirit.” She said before taking a deep draw, and issuing a satisfied smacking of her lips.
“As delicious as I remember.”
“I guess I’ll have to get a glass myself.” Jeff jokingly said as he abandoned his duties and began digging through his chest of goods, withdrawing 2 plates, 2 sets of silverware and a glass cup. He casually walked over to where she sat, noting with surprise that even no blood stained the leather mat from where the carcass had shortly before laid. He set the plates down, along with the silverware; one set in front of her, and one where he planned to sit. Returning to his spit, Jeff continued to rotate the meat until it was a glistening golden brown, all the while Alessandras in her human form watched his actions curiously. Grabbing the skewer rod to lift it from the supports Jeff was surprised to find the metal just warm to his touch. Carrying it to where she sat, he laid it down on the mat between their plates and began carving chunks of the spice and herb roasted boar and placing them on their plates.
“Well, I hope this tastes as great as it smells!” Jeff nervously laughed as Alessandras curiously picked up her fork and knife.
“What are these for?” She asked.
“Just watch me and copy what I do.” Jeff answered as he picked up his own and stabbed the fork into one of the chunks of meat, then used the knife to cut off a bite sized piece. He then took the bite, the rich succulent meat dripping with fat as he slowly chewed it, the chilies and thyme perfectly offsetting the richness of it. He swallowed, the perfectly tender saltiness of meat calling for drink to compliment. Alessandras copied his actions, her eyes going wide as she slowly chewed and swallowed. She followed the bite with a mouthful of the spirit.
“This. I must have more of this. How much more can you give me?!” She begged, as Jeff held his cup under and opened the spigot, the amber liquid slowly filling it.
“As much as you would like to eat. I can even prepare more, if we finish this slab.” He said with a huge grin, taking a deep pull of the strong, earthy yet lightly sweet liquid. In the corner of his vision he noticed the flashing orange dot, still blinking away as a text box popped up in the center of his vision:
“Quest Complete!”