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Yeni Safak
Prologue

Prologue

The office buzzed with the usual morning chatter, snippets of weekend stories and laughter spilling from cubicles as colleagues lingered at the water cooler. Nadia’s heels clicked sharply against the floor as she walked to her desk, each step met by fleeting glances and momentary silences. The early-morning energy—lighthearted, even indulgent—filled the room like an intoxicating fog, one that Nadia resisted with every ounce of her composure.

At her desk, she immediately immersed herself in her laptop, focusing intently, lips pressed in a thin line. The noise around her became a faint background hum until a familiar voice broke through, calling her name softly.

“Nadia!”

It was Anna, one of the few people in the office Nadia considered a friend. The shy young woman smiled warmly, her large, round glasses magnifying the sincerity in her eyes. Nadia stood, accepting Anna’s friendly hug, and they both sat down.

“How’s your father doing, Anna?” Nadia inquired, concern etched in her voice.

“Oh, he’s doing much better, actually. Muhammad’s been so helpful—finding the doctor, handling all those complicated referrals.” Anna’s face lit up as she spoke, and Nadia felt a quiet pride in her husband’s generosity.

Anna opened a small box of cookies, offering one to Nadia. At first, she declined politely, but Anna’s insistence wore her down, and she finally accepted, taking a small, neat bite. As they snacked, Anna leaned in with a glint of excitement in her eyes.

“You know, I was thinking… maybe we should go out one night? You and your husband, me and my boyfriend? A double date!” Anna’s eyes sparkled with hope.

Nadia's stomach twisted at the idea. To her, such a casual arrangement between couples seemed foreign, almost inappropriate, though she kept those thoughts to herself. Instead, she managed a polite nod. “I’ll talk to my husband. We’ll see,” she replied cautiously, avoiding Anna’s eager gaze.

“Wonderful!” Anna grinned, pushing another cookie into Nadia’s hands.

Their conversation shifted to work matters, and Anna mentioned an upcoming company trip to Paris, one that would pair one lucky employee with Emma, the project manager. Nadia had little experience with Emma, but she knew enough. Emma was loud, audacious, a woman who disregarded every notion of decorum Nadia held dear. She wore skirts that skimmed well above her knees, flaunting a boldness that Nadia found unnerving.

“Can you imagine,” Anna whispered, “being stuck with Emma in Paris? She’d probably turn it into a party rather than work!”

Nadia shook her head in agreement, frowning as Emma strolled into the office. The skirt Emma wore today was, in Nadia’s opinion, appallingly short. Her confident strut and knowing smile made her presence almost tangible. Nadia turned to Anna, muttering her disapproval, and Anna quickly chimed in, noting the arrogance in Emma’s demeanor. The two shared a knowing, disapproving glance.

As Emma moved past, Anna turned the conversation toward a television drama she’d been watching, one centered around a love triangle. Anna recounted an unexpected twist in the latest episode, where the female protagonist chose to date a woman, a storyline Anna found thrilling. “There’s just something so… forbidden about it,” she gushed, her eyes dreamy with excitement.

But Nadia’s expression was unmistakably one of disdain. She drew back, her mouth set in a hard line, and Anna quickly changed the subject, glancing away.

Their conversation took a practical turn, settling on project deadlines and workloads. But just as Nadia began to lose herself in her tasks, an email notification flashed on her screen: a memo from HR.

Her breath caught. The message read that she’d been selected to join Emma on the Paris trip. A business trip. Three days. With Emma.

Her hands flew to her head, clutching it as if the very idea might be shaken out. Three days. Alone. With her. Anna tried to comfort her, suggesting Nadia could ask someone else to go instead, but as Nadia approached one colleague after another, each of them mysteriously declined. Even the Paris enthusiasts turned her down without a second thought. Even Anna, her last hope, looked away, mumbling an excuse.

Frustration mounting, Nadia knew there was only one option left: to appeal directly to Emma. Summoning her courage, she made her way to Emma’s office, hesitating outside the door to gather her resolve. But as she entered and tried to speak, Emma cut her off with a nonchalant wave of her hand.

“It’s from the top, Nadia. Don’t waste your breath.”

Three days later, Nadia found herself at Heathrow, clutching her passport and trailing behind Emma through security. Her husband, Muhammad, had been supportive, his calm words still echoing in her mind: “It’s a good opportunity, Nadia. Just bring me back a souvenir.” She loved him, truly, but the thought of being alone with Emma for three days filled her with an inexplicable dread.

Nadia adjusted the microphone at the conference table, her voice calm and poised as she concluded her presentation, casting a final look at the company partners sitting opposite. She noted their attentive eyes and nodded, pleased that her points had come across clearly.

“That concludes our overview. Thank you for your time,” she finished, offering a polite smile. For a brief moment, satisfaction washed over her; she had delivered every point flawlessly.

But just as she was gathering her materials, she heard Emma’s voice echo warmly through the conference room. Emma leaned forward, flashing a wide, inviting smile at the business partners. “And let me just say—Nadia has done such a thorough job. But I’d like to add a little something if I may.”

Emma’s gaze flicked to Nadia with a playful wink, and she turned back to the clients, launching into a captivating story that painted the proposal in a whole new light. Her voice softened, lilting, and she seemed to draw each of the men closer with her charm and clever humor. Nadia watched, her chest tightening as she saw the way the clients responded, nodding along to Emma’s every word, captivated.

Emma had an ease about her that made Nadia both resentful and envious. She was effortlessly witty, charming, and even a little flirtatious. And it worked; by the end of the meeting, the business partners were shaking her hand, laughing at her jokes, thoroughly won over.

Nadia barely resisted a sigh, tension building within her as she returned to her hotel room. She set her things aside and moved to the quietest corner of the room, laying out her prayer rug and taking a few calming breaths before starting her prayers. The ritual brought her back to center, washing away some of the morning’s tension, leaving her with a renewed sense of purpose and calm.

After her prayer, she picked up a well-loved book, preparing to let her mind wander into the solace of written words when a knock sounded at the door.

It was Emma.

“Hey, Nadia!” she greeted, her eyes bright and mischievous as she leaned casually against the doorframe. “I was thinking—you have the whole day in Paris. It’s not every day you’re here! What do you say we go out and explore?”

Nadia blinked, clutching her book a little tighter. “Oh, no. I’d really rather just stay here. It’s been a long day already, and I—”

“Oh, come on! Don’t tell me you’re just going to stay in the hotel room the whole time?” Emma interrupted, crossing her arms with a look of exaggerated disappointment. “Paris is out there waiting for you, Nadia. Live a little!”

Nadia shook her head firmly. “I appreciate the offer, but really, I don’t need to go anywhere.”

Emma raised an eyebrow, casting her an assessing look, and then, with a shrug, said, “Alright. But if you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

The door closed behind her, and Nadia was left alone, the silence of the room now feeling almost too thick. She’d just settled back into her book when her phone buzzed. Glancing at the screen, she saw Muhammad’s name and smiled, immediately picking up.

“Assalamu alaikum, Muhammad,” she greeted warmly.

“Wa alaikum assalam, Nadia,” he replied, his voice warm and steady. “How’s Paris treating you?”

“It’s fine,” she replied, a trace of weariness slipping into her voice. “We just wrapped up the meeting. It went…well.”

Muhammad chuckled. “You don’t sound like you’re having a great time. It’s Paris, Nadia. Enjoy it. Go out and see the city, have some fun.”

Nadia hesitated, her mind flashing back to Emma’s invitation. “I… I don’t know,” she said slowly. “I was planning to just stay in, maybe read for a bit.”

“Come on, you’re only there for a few days,” he encouraged. “This isn’t like Baghdad or London. You might not get another chance like this. Go out. It would make me happy to know you’re making the most of it.”

His voice was sincere, and Nadia felt her resolve softening. Perhaps a few hours of sightseeing couldn’t hurt, she thought, and if Muhammad wanted her to go, maybe she should.

“Alright,” she murmured finally, “I’ll go out for a bit.”

“That’s my Nadia,” he said approvingly, and she could practically hear the smile in his voice. “Just enjoy it. And bring back a souvenir, okay?”

As she ended the call, Nadia set her book aside, her heart already heavy with the thought of what she was about to do. She threw on her scarf and coat and made her way down the hall, tapping on Emma’s door.

Emma opened the door with a grin, looking thoroughly pleased. “So, you’re in?”

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“Yes,” Nadia replied, her tone brisk. “But only for a little while. I won’t stay out too long.”

Emma’s laugh was soft, almost indulgent. “Nadia, don’t worry. We’ll take it slow.”

“Ya Allah,” she murmured, eyes lifting to the ceiling as Emma moved ahead, oblivious to Nadia’s inner turmoil. Why Emma, of all people?

The day passed in a blur of monuments and Parisian streets, Nadia trailing a few steps behind Emma as they wandered through the cobbled lanes. The sky softened with the colors of dusk as they arrived at the Seine, and the city began to light up with a warmth that wrapped around them like a familiar, unspoken promise.

As they strolled, Emma tossed casual, playful questions in Nadia’s direction.

“Ever think of coming here with Muhammad?” she asked, her eyes scanning the Paris skyline.

Nadia smiled faintly, picturing it in her mind. “Once, maybe. But with his business, trips like this are hard to fit in.”

Emma nodded, tilting her head to study Nadia with quiet curiosity. “Well, I’m glad you decided to go out tonight,” she said, eyes flashing with a warm smile. “Paris has a way of changing people.”

Nadia laughed lightly. “Not me. Paris doesn’t change people; it’s just a place.”

Emma’s gaze held a glimmer of amusement. “We’ll see about that.”

As they made their way to a small, upscale restaurant Emma had insisted on, Nadia’s heart raced with anticipation, though she couldn’t quite say why. The restaurant was awash in warm, golden light and quiet murmurs. The air smelled of butter and spices, and the servers moved between tables with elegant precision.

They took a small table by the window, overlooking a narrow Parisian street with twinkling lights. Nadia carefully removed her coat and adjusted her scarf, her hands brushing nervously along the fabric. Emma, in contrast, draped her jacket over her chair and reclined casually, glancing over the menu.

“So, how about a glass of wine?” Emma suggested, raising her eyebrow playfully as she caught Nadia’s eye.

Nadia shook her head firmly. “No, thank you.”

Emma smirked, then ordered a glass for herself, making a show of swirling it in the glass when it arrived. “You don’t know what you’re missing,” she teased.

Nadia watched her, a faint smile on her lips. “I’m perfectly fine without it. But you… you seem like someone who knows a lot about ‘enjoying life,’” she observed, a hint of curiosity slipping into her tone.

Emma grinned, leaning forward slightly. “Enjoying life is an art, Nadia. One I’ve spent years perfecting.”

Nadia raised her eyebrows. “And what exactly does that entail?”

Emma leaned back in her chair, tapping her fingers lightly against her wine glass. “Well, it starts with letting go—of rules, expectations, even the idea of what life is supposed to be. You start discovering things when you give up the need to control everything,” she said, her voice dropping, her gaze fixed on Nadia with a penetrating intensity.

Nadia shifted in her seat, feeling the warmth rise in her cheeks. She wasn’t used to this kind of openness, this almost brazen invitation to look deeper into someone else’s world.

“Letting go isn’t easy for everyone,” Nadia murmured, glancing away.

Emma’s eyes softened, and she leaned closer. “Maybe it’s easier than you think. Sometimes, you just need someone to show you how.”

The waiter arrived with their meals, and Nadia was grateful for the distraction. She picked up her fork, focusing on the food before her. But Emma’s voice, low and warm, drew her back again.

“Why did you and Muhammad move to London?” Emma asked, her gaze steady, a rare seriousness in her expression.

Nadia blinked, slightly taken aback. “We… wanted a new start. There were more opportunities in London, and Muhammad had some business contacts there.” She paused, her voice softening. “I thought it would be exciting, a chance to build something together. And it was—at first.”

Emma’s eyes remained fixed on her, studying her with a subtle intensity that made Nadia’s heart flutter with an emotion she couldn’t quite place.

“And now?” Emma pressed gently.

“Now…” Nadia hesitated, searching for the words. “Now it’s just… routine. Busy days, responsibilities… We’re partners, I suppose. We each have our own lives that… occasionally overlap.”

Emma’s fingers brushed against Nadia’s hand, her touch light and fleeting. “But you wanted more than that once, didn’t you?”

Nadia’s gaze fell to her plate, her breath catching. “Of course. Everyone does… at some point.”

Emma’s lips curved into a soft, knowing smile. “Then maybe it’s time you remind yourself what that feels like.”

Their conversation quieted, and they returned to their meal, though Nadia felt Emma’s gaze lingering on her, a barely contained intensity that set her pulse racing. The moments between bites stretched, the tension building in a silence thick with things left unsaid.

Emma’s voice cut through the quiet as she leaned in once more. “You’re beautiful, Nadia. You must know that.”

Nadia looked up, startled. “I… thank you,” she managed, her voice barely above a whisper, heart pounding. She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks, the thrill and shock of Emma’s words creating a confusing mix of emotions.

Emma’s hand brushed against hers again, and this time, the touch lingered. “I mean it,” Emma said softly, her voice rich with something Nadia couldn’t quite name. “There’s a light in you that most people would never see. But I see it.”

For a moment, Nadia didn’t know where to look, caught between the intensity of Emma’s gaze and the sensation of her touch. She felt the edges of her carefully guarded world start to blur, her defenses wavering in a way she hadn’t expected, or even prepared for.

She pulled her hand back, swallowing hard. “You… you’re very kind, Emma. But I think maybe you’re just saying that because of the wine.”

Emma laughed, a low, throaty sound that sent a shiver down Nadia’s spine. “The wine may loosen my tongue, but it doesn’t make me a liar.”

As they finished their meal, Emma continued to offer small compliments, her gaze often drifting to Nadia, her words imbued with a subtle flirtation that Nadia found both thrilling and unsettling. By the time they left the restaurant, Emma was undeniably tipsy, her laughter growing louder, her steps a little unsteady.

Nadia slipped her arm around Emma’s waist to steady her, the casual touch sending an unexpected thrill through her own veins. They walked through the Parisian streets, Emma’s body warm and close, her perfume—a faint, intoxicating scent—filling Nadia’s senses.

As they strolled, Emma looked up at the sky, her gaze dreamy. “You know,” she said, her voice soft, “Paris has always been the city of love. They say it has a way of drawing people together.”

Nadia swallowed, her voice almost a whisper. “I think that’s… just something people say.”

Emma laughed, leaning her head against Nadia’s shoulder. “Maybe, but doesn’t it feel a little true right now?”

Nadia didn’t answer, her heart racing too fast, the world around them fading as Emma’s warmth seeped into her. They continued walking, Emma’s head resting gently against her shoulder, a quiet intimacy settling between them.

As they neared their hotel, Emma turned to her, her eyes bright, her face soft with a vulnerability that took Nadia by surprise.

“Thank you, Nadia. For… for tonight. I think I needed this,” Emma murmured, her voice so close it sent a shiver down Nadia’s spine.

“I… I think I did too,” Nadia admitted, her voice barely audible, her defenses slipping with every shared look, every moment of silence.

They stood there for a long moment, the night stretching around them like a promise, the air thick with a tension that felt as inevitable as it was forbidden. Nadia felt something stir within her, something she couldn’t name—a longing, a curiosity, a yearning for something she hadn’t known she was missing.

Emma looked up at her, her gaze intense, searching. “Do you feel it too?”

Nadia’s voice caught in her throat, her heart hammering against her chest. “I… I don’t know,” she whispered, though in that moment, it felt like the most honest thing she’d ever said.

They walked in comfortable silence through the cobblestone streets, the glow of the Eiffel Tower reflecting in Emma’s eyes as she leaned heavily against Nadia. The night air was crisp, laced with the distant sounds of laughter, music, and the low hum of passing cars. Nadia’s heart raced as she felt Emma’s warmth pressing against her, Emma’s scent mingling with the cool night—a fragrance both bold and alluring, intoxicating in its own right.

Nadia stole glances at Emma, whose cheeks were flushed, her eyes half-lidded and dreamy from the wine. She stumbled slightly, and Nadia tightened her hold on her waist, keeping her steady. Emma looked up, meeting Nadia’s gaze, a lazy smile spreading across her lips.

“You’re so… steady,” Emma murmured, her voice soft and slurred, laced with a vulnerability Nadia had never seen before. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Nadia swallowed, feeling her face heat. “You drank a lot tonight,” she said softly, trying to keep her voice level, though her pulse betrayed her.

Emma laughed, leaning her head against Nadia’s shoulder, her voice a low, almost seductive whisper. “Maybe, but I don’t mind when I’m with you.” She looked up, her gaze locking with Nadia’s, her eyes dark and searching. “You feel it too, don’t you?”

Nadia’s breath caught. “Emma… I don’t… I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Emma’s fingers traced along Nadia’s arm, leaving a trail of warmth that sent shivers down Nadia’s spine. “You do,” Emma whispered, her words barely audible. She leaned closer, her lips hovering just inches from Nadia’s, the distance between them charged with something neither of them could ignore.

Nadia’s heart hammered, her mind a chaotic blend of emotions—fear, excitement, and a fierce longing she’d tried so hard to suppress. She felt her resolve crumbling, her carefully constructed walls beginning to fracture under Emma’s gaze, her presence intoxicating and undeniable.

“Emma… we shouldn’t…” Nadia’s voice was barely a whisper, her words faltering as Emma’s hand slipped around her waist, pulling her closer.

“Maybe not,” Emma murmured, her lips brushing against Nadia’s, her breath warm and soft. “But sometimes, the things we shouldn’t do are the ones we need the most.”

Before Nadia could protest, Emma’s lips found hers, a soft, lingering kiss that sent a wave of heat through her body, igniting something deep within her. It was a kiss unlike anything Nadia had ever known—tender yet hungry, a collision of desire and curiosity, the kind of kiss that shattered any illusion of control. She felt herself melting, her resistance slipping away as Emma’s fingers tangled in her scarf, drawing her even closer.

Nadia’s mind spun, her thoughts a whirlwind of disbelief and exhilaration. The world around her seemed to blur, narrowing to the warmth of Emma’s lips, the feel of her hand against Nadia’s cheek, the softness of her breath mingling with her own. She felt as though she were standing on the edge of a precipice, and with every second, she was falling further, surrendering to a part of herself she hadn’t known existed.

As their lips parted, Nadia’s eyes flew open, her chest heaving with breath, her mind struggling to comprehend what had just happened. She could feel the remnants of the kiss tingling on her lips, the memory of it searing into her very soul. Something had shattered within her—a wall she had so carefully constructed, now lying in pieces, opening her heart to a realm of possibilities she’d once thought unimaginable.

Emma’s face was close, her smile languid and satisfied, her eyes filled with a quiet triumph that sent a thrill of excitement coursing through Nadia’s veins. “See?” she whispered, her words slurred but laced with a warmth that made Nadia’s heart ache. “Paris really does change people.”

Nadia couldn’t bring herself to reply, her voice caught somewhere between disbelief and awe, her mind reeling from the intensity of what she’d just experienced. She felt as though her entire world had shifted, the foundations of her beliefs and expectations now unsteady, cracked by the force of something both thrilling and terrifying.

Emma swayed, her steps unsteady as she tried to stand, but the effects of the wine had finally caught up with her. She stumbled, her knees buckling as she clutched at Nadia, her grip slipping as her eyes fluttered, the haze of intoxication clouding her gaze.

“Emma!” Nadia gasped, catching her just in time, her arms wrapping around her, holding her close. She felt the weight of Emma’s body pressing against her, her warmth, her vulnerability—a side of her Nadia hadn’t seen before. She guided Emma to the ground, her heart racing as she knelt beside her, brushing a strand of hair from Emma’s face.

Emma’s eyes opened slightly, a dazed smile playing on her lips as she looked up at Nadia, her voice a faint, slurred whisper. “You’re… wonderful, Nadia,” she murmured, her words trailing off as her eyes drifted shut, her body relaxing into a peaceful slumber.

Nadia stayed there, her heart pounding, her mind spinning as she looked down at Emma, a mix of emotions swirling within her. She felt a strange sense of loss, as if a part of her old self had slipped away, leaving her exposed, vulnerable, yet somehow… free.

The quiet of the night surrounded them, the lights of Paris casting a soft glow over them as Nadia’s heart finally slowed, settling into a new, unfamiliar rhythm. She knew, in that moment, that something had changed—something profound, something that she could no longer deny.

As she looked down at Emma, the remnants of their kiss lingering on her lips, Nadia felt the beginnings of a new path unfold before her, one that was filled with unknowns, with risks, with desires she had yet to fully understand.

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