I froze. The voice was scratchy and high. It wasn’t a waifu, more like an animal that could talk.

I refreshed my grip on my sword, and tried to ascertain the location of the voice.

“Be not afraid, traveler. I’m no harm to you. I wanted to prevent you from getting hurt in the cave.”

I grimaced. “Why should I trust you?” The voice was coming to me left, so I angled my feet in that direction to hasten my turn.

This time, the voice came from my right. “If you don’t trust Fizkip, that is fine, but I just wanted to warn you before you went in.”

Assessing the situation, whatever creature this was hadn’t attacked me yet. Was he waiting for the right time or was he truly harmless.

“Show yourself, so I may judge you. Face me!” I yelled into the air.

“Very well.” This time the voice came from directly in front of me in the meadow.

A slight humanoid shimmered through the air, like heat off pavement in the summer, then with a pop, a kobold appeared in front of me.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

He was about four feet tall, with long floppy ears, long arms, short legs, and a spindly body. He wore a purple robe with stars and a cone-shaped hat on top.

I rolled my eyes. It was like a bad wizard from a kid’s 70’s cartoon.

He bowed low to the ground, sweeping his robe out to the side. “My name is Fizkip, and the reason I warned you against going into the cave is because it is my mistake.”

I squinted at him, and finally relaxed. I didn’t think he was going to hurt me, but even if he did I could take him out with a single thrust of my blade. “What do you mean your mistake?”

“Well, you see,” Fizkip wrung his hands like he’d been a bad child. “I am a wizard, as you can see from my fancy robes, and wizards are oft to do experiments of a magical nature.”

He turned to the cave entrance, gesturing with a sweeping hand. “I was simply minding my own business when I accidentally bumped a tincture into an arcane orb, and well … the reaction was quite violent. It caused a chain reaction that created an orb of floating energy that displaces all matter into subspace.”

I stood there listening to his technobabble. Finally, I sheathed my sword.

I stepped out into the sunlight, exposing myself to the meadow. Above me, directly above the cave, shadows moved.

I was right, there is someone up there.

I towered over the fellow, and my first inclination was to kneel down to be more at his eye level, but memories of Miko rubbing herself on my thigh flooded my mind and I couldn’t kneel like that again. I idly ran my hand up and down my thigh, feeling the remnants of her activities. Blood flowed to my nether regions again, reminding me of the reward I would have once I completed this quest.

No, focus.

Finally, I asked him what was swirling around in my head. “Do you mean to tell me you created a black hole?”