What is this, some sort of out of season April Fool's joke?

It seems to be. It was supposed to release yesterday, but I forgot that these things can take a few days to process and should have uploaded it a few days before.

If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

The mods were very kind to expedite the process, but unfortunately the joke title flagged all sorts of flags :p (Which they were kind enough to sort out for me, but it took a while.)

So uh, just pretend it is April first, and my apologies for the timing.