You know it’s weird.After my temper tantrum, I have been forced to consider my situation a bit more thoroughly. I’ve been strong-armed into a war that has no clear-cut good guy. Hell, I even bad for the goblins after what i’ve done. And what’s worse is that even though I’m the protagonist my antagonist is still unclear. Is it Rei with his thirst for peace driving him to war? Or is it Rignath for bringing me here in the first place? And is it possible I am working for the bad guys?….
Regardless, I’m finding that building a campsite can be very therapeutic in that the lack of communication can lead to deep thought. And right now we are all sitting on our own logs around the unlit fire pit.
Renise has told me that the nearest town is another half a day from here and that we will sleep here just a ways from the road.
I am currently making a fire after chopping some wood, which pissed off Krowola since she is the sharpest sword.
{Hey Jon, are you sure that was a good idea?}
(What, you mean giving that goblin a piece of my soul?)
{Indeed, for in making that bond you have given him a massive amount of power, and if he doesn’t die then he could be the world's most powerful hobgoblin}
(So? I’m sure my mercy will keep him from harming us. And besides, my souls inside him doesn’t that give me some control?)
{Well it would if you had more training and were close to him, but as it stands, all you did was make him stronger.Oh, and if that wasn’t enough that thing supports the human king!}
(Okay yeah I may have been a bit too emotional and feeling guilty for my outburst, but in the end, he’s just using borrowed power, what’s the worst that could happen.)
{You really don’t get the implications of this, do you? What if Rei uses him?!}
(Then I find Poena and take everything this time.)
{Hrmmm. I suppose that will work but next time understand the consequences of your actions}
(Okay)
I look up and notice Renise was staring at me from across the unlit fire pit, frowning slightly. Our eyes meet and suddenly her eyes widen and look down quickly while she blushes.
“S-so what will we do for food?”[Renise]
“Don’t look at me, this camping thing was your idea” I respond as I spit into the pile of logs that begin to smoke, burn, and yes, catch fire.(I just created a campfire with my spit…nnnneat)
“Aye lass yer gonna have to come up with something or else the lad and I will starve.”[Sheamus]
“Well I can’t hunt and I don’t really have any suitable skills for it” Renise huffed.
“Hey, lad ya got anything that could help us?”[Sheamus]
Sheamus looks over at me from where he sits and cocks his head curiously, his red hair and beard complemented are by the fire.
I shrug, “hold on let me check” (Hey Krowola do you know if there's food in the bag?){I’m not sure but I would assume their are some form of rations inside.}(thanks)
I reach inside my bag (food) and a rag touches my fingertips. Grasping the cloth gently I pull out a sandwich wrapped in a plain white linen cloth.
(Umm, hey Krowola.){Yes?} (Was your former partner married perchance?) {Yes he was.} (Oh...well now I feel even worse) {Why? it was already certain that most of the people you killed would have family of some sort so why should it matter to you if happen upon a couple old mementos of their past, it's not as if you were against stealing their armor. }(Yeah well the loot is from necessity, not pleasure. But you do have point, so thanks)
I reach in again and repeat my process (food)..... Nope.
“Sorry guys, it looks like there's nothing left.”[me]
“Well, what now? Do we split it three ways?”[Renise]
Sheamus and I look at each other and we both shrug. I guess it doesn’t really matter one way or the other since we’re dressed for war, not hunting.
“Sure I’m fine with it, how about you Sheamus?” [me]
“Aye, that sounds fine, but in the meantime why don’t we talk?”[Sheamus]
“Okay, but what about?”I say as I unwrap the sandwich.
“Well, lad let's start with personal histor-hey that smells amazing!” He looks at the sandwich and drools.
I too notice the smell and notice that this is a ham, lettuce, tomato, cheese, and pickle sandwich on some kind of brown bread.
(Hmm now how will I cut you.)… I reach into the bag again (Knife) A handle land in my palm and I bring out a small steak knife.
I cut the sandwich and hand it out. After having her first bite Renise nodes and speaks.
“Okay so I will start then, what do you guys want to know?”
“Well, lass since we’ll be traveling together how about ya tell us why ya joined the army.” Sheamus replies as tomato juice leaks down his hands.
Renise takes a deep breath and exhales. “Well, it’s a bit complicated but I’ll try. *ahem* I was born into a noble family, my father is the grand general of Orbines military, and as such, I was raised to be the perfect child. I was taught the ways of the noblewoman and am expected to marry the prince of Orbine when he is of age in a year or so.(Typical, she’s already taken){I don’t see a ring on that finger yet}(Y’know there is such a thing as class, right?) Anyways after I developed magic abilities I begged my father to let me into the army but if it weren’t for my mother I doubt he would have said yes at all.”
Sheamus nods his head slowly and asks “So how’s this complicated again?”
Renise rolls her eyes, “Ugh, don’t you get it I’m here because I’m sick of being treated like a fragile toy thats only use is to marry rich and make heirs. I just want to be myself.”
She looks down into the fire sadly and sighs deeply. “Anyways, I originally wanted to be an adventurer but dad decided that the formal training of the military would make me safer and that it would be good to get some leadership experience under my belt.”
I sit back and shoot renise a questioning look“Okay, so I see where you’re coming from and all but I kinda want to hear more about this prince guy. Is this an arranged marriage or have you guys known each other awhile?”
“Huh?! Oh, um,” her eyes refocus on me as she looks up. “Well a little of both actually, we’ve been friends since childhood and our parents decided that we were good enough together that a marriage would be fine. And all things considered, I’m okay with it. I mean he’s nice, smart, and was the best swordsman in the academy. Plus if we marry I would be the first half-elf queen in a royal hierarchy ruled purely by elves that rule over a kingdom of demihumans.(Demi-humans? Half-elves? This really is like D&D!) And it doesn’t hurt that most he is friendly with almost everyone regardless of race, occupation, or class.”
(Fuck, why does he have to sound so great?)
{I don’t know Jon, she did say “almost”, there might be something more to him that you can exploit.}
(Will you stop already? I told you that I don’t have time for that right now, I still have a mission.)
{Sir, you really are an idiot when it comes to women}
Sheamus grunts his approval through a mouthful of sandwich and swallows. “Well lass if yer okay with him then ‘ah wish you the best of luck with yer engagement to Prince Richard”
Renise chuckles and thanks him. And now she’s looking to me as if I should say something.
Ummmm….! I glance back at renise and shrug. “Yeah, I mean if you like him and he’s nice then congratulations… but do you want to marry him?”
Renise looks taken aback as if what I said was odd. “What do you mean?”
I lean forward on my log. “Well just because you’ve been friends since forever doesn’t mean you two are in love, I’m just asking whether or not you actually want to marry him.”
Renise blushes and looks down embarrassed
Sheamus looks to me and whispers in a low voice.
“Really lad?”[sheamus]
“What?”[me]
“Ya don’t think that was a bit personal?”[sheamus]
“Umm, kinda? I mean it’s not as if I was raised to understand the traditions of the aristocracy. But regardless I’m trying looking out for her to pay her back for not running away from me and being nice.”[me]
The dwarf gives a confused expression. “Now why would she-” I point to my eye. “Ah, yes, I see where yer comin from now.”
“Yeaaaah, considering how the goblins reacted I’m surprised that Renise didn’t shoot me on sight.”[me]
“Hmm, good question…” Sheamus grins mischievously and looks a Renise from the corner of his eye .
Renise coughs awkwardly and turns her head to Sheamus “SO Sheamus tell us a little about your family
Sheamus snickers and looks back. “Well, lass since yer so interested I suppose I could entertain ya wit some brief history.AHEM!”
That’s right he actually said “ahem”.
“Ya see back when ah’ was a wee little dwarf lad I grew up the youngest of mah three brothers and two sisters, so by the time they had all left home I grew up coddled by mah sisters and tough from mah brothers. Unfortunately, mah background wasn’t as wealthy as yers Renise so I couldn’t afford ta be an adventurer. I DID, however, have a high affinity for monsters and other animals so the local coliseum hired me to be the beast master for over 70 years, until… well, you already know about that.”
Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
“So you were the beastmaster huh, what was that like?” [me](That sounds awesome.){sure, if the enslavement and training of animals and monsters to fight each other sounds fun to you} (Well sure when you put it like that anything can sound bad.){Okay RIGNATH}(Oh shit, I am SO sorry you're right, that's not what meant){It’s fine I get it}(Sorry)
“It was great, I got to spend time with all the best magical beasties and I learned a lot from watching the fights and taking care of the monsters. So much so, that eventually I was allowed to sometimes warm up the crowd with a sparring match with one of ‘em”[Sheamus]
He smiles as he seems to watch a scene from a wonderful memory before snapping back to reality. “And what about you?” He turns his body towards me and leans forward a bit “Surely, you must have a story to tell.”
I smirk. “I do have a story to tell but don’t call me Shirley.”
Sheamus guffaws while, Renise face palms and rubs her temples.
“Oh man, that was a bad one.” Renise says laughing
“The hella ya talking about? That was funny as ‘ell” [Sheamus]
I wave my hands above head and I motion for them to calm down.
“Alright enough, it wasn’t that funny.”[me]
They chill out and when I have their attention I begin to regale them with the abridged version of my history.
“I grew up under the care of my mother and father. I also had a younger sister, a dog, and a cat. I grew up neither poor nor rich but I wanted for nothing. My parents died a few years after I became a doctor's apprentice and I have since been living alone, while my sister lived with her boyfriend. However fairly recently while I was having them for dinner my house was broken into and they were forced to watch as I was beaten horribly….I’m not sure of how I escaped but I do know that I miss them and that they may very well be dead.”
Sheamus tears up and starts to sniffle “So you really don’t remember? Is that why yer a merc?”
I nod with a very grim expression on my face. (I mustn’t cry!)
“WAAAUGAAA!!!” Sheamus begins to bawl and stands up. I’b soo Soorayyy!”
He lumbers over to and wraps me in a bear hug.
“Um, Sheamus are you gonna be okay?” I awkwardly pat him on the shoulder as my head is just above his shoulder at the moment.
“Ya idgit! Don’t you know real men show their feelings!?” Sheamus lifts his head from where it was buried in my shoulder and reveals a pudgy red face with swollen eyes, his beard and mustache are smeared with snot. Small lines of booger and hair stay stuck to my armor.
{I swear I’ll kill him the first chance I get.}
This is easily one of the most surreal moments in my life right now, because now he’s wiping it on his sleeve and…. Oh gross. A few strands of his beard is sticking to the sides of his face and a trail of mucus is still attached to his arm.(EW! EW! EW! EW! EW! EW! EW! EW! EW!) now it’s all matted and pointing at odd angles!
He smiles at me and I hear repressed snickers from Renise but Sheamus doesn’t seem to notice instead he takes a deep breath and says “Well I suppose that’s enough for tonight, bedtime!!”
My crazy little friend turns on his heels walks to a nearby tree and places his head on a rock when he lays down on to the ground.
Renise claps her hands together.“Well! That was certainly a spectacle but I think I agree with Sheamus, good*she yawns*night”
She stretches and lays on her back on top of her log “You're on guard duty by the way!” she closes her eyes and begins to breathe deeply.
(Oh man, what a day, I hope everyone back home is okay )
“Oh don’t you worry your pretty little head about it, darling, your day will be better soon”
Mother fucker!
I look up and floating upside down above me is the smiling face of Rignath. His stupid tye staying perfectly attached to his suit and pointing up toward his wingtip shoes.
(YOU!!)
“ME!”
{Ugh, you again}
(You two know each other?)
“Well, of course, we do silly, who do you think inspired the seventh king war?”
(Ohmygod. Do you do this every time there’s a king class monster?!)
“Of course I do, King Wars is a very popular show after all But right now I’m here for another reason…”
(Am I going to die again?)
“No once was enough… but we may have to endanger your life again soon.”
(Fuck)
“Not today mind you, no today is your is your early Christmas present.”
(Why do I not feel any better about this?)
“Don’t be such a sour Sammy, you haven’t even heard my offer yet.”
I roll my eye and sigh deeply as he smiles and clicks his heels together expectantly….
“Ugh, fine! What is it?”
Renise snorts and rolls over off of her log onto her face.
“Renise are you all”-*SNORE!!*
(This girl could sleep through anything)
“Hmm indeed, but to the point (Hey! why can’t she hear you?!)
“Because I’m a god, now do you want a Merry Christmas or not?”
(Sure, now flip over before I get a headache.)
He does a perfect 180-degree turn like the minute hand of a clock and gently floats down on to the ground with his hands in his tailored white khaki pants.
“Sooooo… Want to see what happens to your family?”
(Are you serious?)
“As serious as an alcoholic stepfather”
(...Just shut up and show me, my family)
Rignath shrugs and raises a perfectly manicured hand up in front of himself. “Brace yourself.”
(Huh?)
Rignath snaps his fingers, and suddenly I’m swept off my feet and land in my favorite chair as I realize we are once again in the space where we first met. Except now in addition to our chairs, there is a large projector screen floating in front of us.
“Aaaand action!”
The screen comes to life with color and sound as we get third person view of a middle-aged gentleman in a brown tweed jacket, sitting in a chair that is strikingly similar to my own. The room is large but feels small because of the large Christmas tree surrounded by presents, that has been placed against the far wall next to a window. The man is facing the tree while sipping his coffee from a white mug with the word “number one dad” scrawled across its surface in black paint.
I turn my head to Rignath.”Hey, I thought you were showing me my family so who’s this supposed to be?”
The god raises an index finger to his lips and shushes me. “Just watch, we’ll talk after.” he points to the screen and I go back to watching the man in the tweed jacket.
The man has an unruly mop of hair on his head and is so skinny with his spindly legs and arms, that one would initially think him sickly. The man yawns and covers his mouth with his hand as the joyous sounds of Christmas carols tumble their way from a somewhere upstairs down into this large living room.
He smiles “Ahh, sounds like she’s finally up.”
He slowly gets up and stretches his back. “hurgh!*pop* Ohhh yeah, that's the stuff.
He makes his way into a kitchen and pulls out a variety of ingredients from a large grey refrigerator that I instantly recognize as essential for pancakes.
As the man begins to prep and makes the batter a small voice scream from the top of the stairs.
“CHRISTMAS!!CHRISTMASCHRISTMASCHRISTMASCHRISTMASCHRISTMASCHRISTMASCHRSTMASCHRISTMASRISTMASCHRISMASCHRIASCHRISTMASCHRISTMASCHRISTMASCHRISTMAS,*deep breath* CHRRRIIIISSSTMAAAASSSSS!!!!”
Stomping down the stairs a little girl no older than ten old bursts into the living room.
Her hair is dirty blond her face twisted into a face-splitting grin and she wears a zebra-striped bottoms and a pink pajama top. “Daddy, Daddy, it’s Christmas!”
He chuckles “So I’ve heard, so why don’t you sit at the table while we wait for Ms. Sarah and Jacob to wake up? Then, maybe we can some presents, okay kiddo?”
“Okay!” she runs into a room containing a round, faded, wooden, coffee table and hops onto a chair.
We wait, watching the pancakes cook and sputter as they are poured into a skillet.
Soon more clomping can be heard as loud footsteps can be heard coming down the stairs. “Morning Mr. T”
“Morning Jacob, is your mother up yet?”[Mr.T]
A young boy who looks a little older than the girl, comes into the kitchen scratching head tiredly his brown curly hair getting tangled between his small fingers.
“*yawn!*Yeah, she’s in the shower but should be up soon.”[Jacob
“Alright, well, Jackolyn is in the dining room so why don’t you wait in their for a bit so that I can finish making you two breakfast”[Mr.T]
“Sure Mr.T”[Jacob]
Jacob walks into the dining room,“Morning Jackolyn.”
“G’morning Jake! Are you excited about our presents?”[Jackolyn]
“Yup…”[Jake]
“Aww, c’mon Jake it’s Christmas you gotta be more excited!”[Jackolyn]
“Nah too early.”[Jake]
While the kids are talking “Mr.T” makes another cup of coffee.
“Okay, kids pancakes are ready, who wants syrup?”[Mr.T]
“Oooh, me!”[both kids]
Mr.T grabs two plates each stacked with three pancakes and places them on the table, “Okay now let me grab the utensils and you can start eating.”
Jackolyn scoffs “Utensils are for chumps!” She takes a syrup covered pancake in her hands shoves half of it into her mouth, “It’sh sho’ good!”
“Your so gross”[Jake]
Jackolyn looks up and makes direct eye contact with Jake. Wide-eyed she stares at him unblinking as she continues to eat slowly.
Jake stares back with an uncomfortable look on his face. “Um, please stop...seriously you're being creepy.”
Jackolyn swallows her pancake and without shifting her eyes she grabs another pancake and stuffs it center first into her mouth. Her mouth unhinging like a snake.
“Okay enough! I’m sorry, geez!”[Jake]
Jackolyn blinks and smiles.
Meanwhile, Mr. T places a fresh cup of coffee on the counter, and a feminine voice can be heard from upstairs. “Do I smell pancakes?”
“Hey, mom.”[Jake]
“G’mrnin!”[Jackolyn]
A tall dirty blond woman, who looked a little younger than Mr.T, walks into the kitchen “Good morning all!”
“Good morning Ms.Sarah, your coffee's on the counter.”
“Thanks, Tim, Merry Christmas” [Sarah]
“TIM!!”[me]
“There is no need to shout, and besides it was pretty obvious”[Rignath]
“Okay, but who’s the bimbo? Where is my sister?!”[me]
“Oh her? Yeah, she’s dead.”[Rignath]
I rip my eyes from the screen and look at Rignath, “She’s WHAT!?”
“Dead, *sigh*unfortunately after your murder she had developed severe PTSD and after giving birth she suffered postpartum depression. And as a result, your sister soon killed herself, leaving Tim and newborn Jackolyn alone.”
‘Holy shit… Jean, no, why...I’m so sorry...I’ll avenge you someday I promise’
“Fuck… but what about Tim and the kid? Tim may make more than enough to support them both, but even with my generous will that left everything to him and my sister he still wouldn’t have the time to take care of a little girl!.... And is this the future?!”[me]
“No, this is not the future your universes time is simply that much faster than this one.And yes, under normal circumstances you’d be on the money about Tims ability to parent and work at the same time, which is why he hired Sarah to act as a surrogate mother figure for dear Jackolyn.”[Rignath]
“Okay but what about the boy?”[me]
“Well, his story is actually kind of neat. You see, Tim and Sarah were worried that Jackolyn would have trouble making friends so they adopted Jacob with the original intention of him acting as an older brother/role model. However as it turns out their personalities are so different that instead of being someone to rely on for moral support or friendship, he has become a restraining force for her and acts as her conscience. He keeps her in line and she makes him have fun, it’s actually kind of cute.”[Rignath]
The god chuckles deeply, as the kids open their presents. Jackolyn receives a nerf sword, while Jake unwraps a shield.
“I dub thee Jackolyn the Barbarian, and Jake the Paladin!”[Tim]
“WOOO, berserker rage!”Jackolyn holds her weapon high above her head and began whacking it wildly against the shield.
Holding the shield above his head an apathetic-looking Jacob yawns. “Hey Jackolyn, instead of attacking me, you should attack the presents and see if there are any better gifts for you to play with.”
Her eyes light up “You’re right! Why retrain myself to one form of violence when there are limitless other options that I have yet to discover?!” The little girl immediately tears up more boxes with her name.
“Hey, Rignath? What is Sarah’s relation to Tim?”[me]
Her? She really is just the hired help. She cleans the house and takes care of the children, and you don’t have to worry about her and Tim because she’s a lesbian.”[Rignath]
“Oh… this is easily the world's weirdest family dynamic.”[me]
“Heh, on your earth? Yes, most definitely. [Rignath]
----------------------------------------
We spend the next few hours watching my niece and step-nephew enjoy their Christmas and play with their gifts.
“Alright Jon I’m sorry but it’s time to go.” Rignath poofs our chairs away and we are both floating in space again.
“You all right?” Rignath asks sadly.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine... Um, thanks for this Rignath, and Merry Christmas.”I blink and realize I’m crying from my good eye.
Rignath smiles sympathetically “Merry Christmas.”
He raises his hand and snaps his fingers.
And my eye is met with darkness
So I open my eye and am met by the rising sun.
“Back to work”