Eric didn’t breathe.
This thought struck him suddenly halfway through his Introductory Campaign.
For the next few minutes, he wrestled with horror and disbelief as he started counting down the many things he could no longer do.
Some of them he judged to be a mild relief. Such as farting.
Eric had always been paranoid when farting in public.
Had someone heard his fart? Did they smell it and immediately know it was his?
It was, he had to admit, something of a comfort to know he’d never have to worry about that again.
However, the one issue he kept coming back to was sex.
He’d never be able to have sex.
This, he felt, was grossly unfair. He’d never had sex in his former life. Now, stuck in what he was starting to realise was a gamer’s fantasy world filled with girls straight out of his geekiest wet dreams, he wasn’t going to have sex in this one.
He couldn’t even jerk off!
If he could have cried, he’d have bawled like a baby.
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Also devoid of some biological functions, Cordelia was unable to blush at all as her body was ravaged by orgasm after orgasm. Her Orgasm Count was approaching some numbers she thought were humiliating and therefore best not shared in polite company.
Her body twitched as she lay on her back in front of Worm, who had completely forgotten the writhing Vampire as he delved into his new Dungeon Master options.
The Necromancer muttered angrily to himself, still seething from having been given a Quest. She couldn’t understand why that upset him so much. She liked Quests. They were usually quick and easy XP.
Almost delirious with pleasure, she managed to briefly string together a few coherent thoughts related to Quests before another orgasm made her lower body shake violently.
Then she blacked out with a happy gurgle.
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Worm tried to relate what he’d read in the Dungeon Master pamphlet with what he was seeing. Scowling at the lack of similarities in the many Options, he’d begun to question whether the Dungeon Master guild was inept or a scam.
Given how little they were paying him, he was leaning towards it being a scam.
It would seem, he thought sourly, that he was going to have to learn as he went along.
Tucking the Pamphlet into his Inventory, he took a deep breath to calm himself and started at the top.
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Dungeon Master was a Job, and every Job had its own special Options and Skills.
Most were only useful when performing tasks associated with the Job, but others could provide Buffs or enhance other Skills.
It was for this reason that most Rogues might take Skinner as a Job because it provided some bonuses to Knives and Daggers. As most Rogues enjoyed being as stabby as possible, there were very few who weren’t Skinners.
Dungeon Masters gained immense powers relative to other Jobs.
A Dungeon Master could create creatures with a wave of their hand. This was a ludicrously over-powered Skill. And, as Worm would discover, there were many others equally potent.
All of which required him to be standing within the Dungeon.
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“Useless,” he muttered. “It’s all useless.”
“Massster…” Cordelia moaned wetly. “Pleeease…”
He glanced up, realising he’d left Control Undead active. With a sigh, he ended the effect and rolled his eyes as she began to shiver happily on the ground.
The Vampire drooled, her eyes staring blankly into the distance.
He still couldn’t understand why his spell affected her like this. Every Necromancy book he’d ever read had revelled in descriptions of tortured souls and the howling madness which twists the minds of those enslaved by his foul art.
Screams of horror. Wailing terror.
Incoherent fear.
These were feelings Necromancers were supposed to evoke in their Minions.
Not… this.
As he walked away from the quivering Vampire, he wiped his hands on his pants. He felt dirty and knew no amount of soap and water would clean the feeling away.
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“It’s a Rubystar Tulip,” Daisy announced, handing the flower back.
“Okay.” Petal looked down at the delicate bloom. “And?”
“And what?”
“Well, what does it do?”
“Nothing.”
“What do you mean?”
“It has no magical properties,” Daisy said. “Which means it can’t really be used as an Ingredient in anything.”
Petal frowned. “Are you sure?”
“I think so?” The Undead Servant opening the little book in her hands. “At least, that’s what Agatha Appleblossom wrote. She mentioned them a few times, and drew pictures of them here. See? Her notes say she took them to an Alchemist who said they were only good for being put into a vase.”
“A vase?”
Daisy smiled. “They’re very pretty. Maybe we can make a garden and grow some more. They’d look real sweet in cute little rows, don’t you think?”
The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.
Petal’s frown deepened. “Garden?”
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Eric pouted as an Achievement Notification announced he’d successfully completed his Introductory Campaign.
He got another for completing it in fifteen attempts which was, apparently, a record.
Most people, the Notification informed him with its typical passionless zeal, completed it on their first.
“How?” He slammed his invisible hands against an invisible wall. “There weren’t any instructions! I had to figure it all out myself!”
In answer, another Notification popped in front of him asking if he wanted to Continue or Retry.
He grumbled bitterly as he mentally hit Continue.
And was assaulted by his Skill Tree which appeared to have five Points he could apply to no less than a few thousand Skills.
He also gained three stacks of Panic Attack for the next five minutes.
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The second time he’d met Aurora Astorwood, Worm never saw her coming.
As part of his First Year Necromancy lessons, Worm was expected to visit the local Graveyard and attempt to commune with at least one deceased spirit.
He’d found this a bit challenging at first.
On the night Aurora Astorwood and her friends crept out of the shadows behind him, he was busy talking to the Spirit of Gertie Grinspoon.
Gertie had died when she was only fifteen. She’d been a student at the Mage Guild and thought she knew enough to pass her Combat Exam. She didn’t. The summoned Monster had Stunned her with its size and proceeded to spread her body across the wall.
Still more than a little embarrassed by her failure, she didn’t like to talk about it.
Instead, she much preferred the topic of Gossip, which was a skill she’d gotten to level 37.
Which was how Aurora and her friends found him. Right in the middle of a story about how disappointed he was by Aurora not liking him when he thought she was so pretty.
Outraged by the young Necromancer’s words, Henry Hagstorm rushed out first and clocked Worm smartly on the chin.
Worm might have thought to defend himself but he was unable to move thanks to the Stunned buff which was applied the second Henry broke cover.
Later, Worm would complain endlessly about the stupidity of Stunned Effects to Gertie.
She would find it difficult to sympathise, given he was still alive.
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“Ugh!” Aurora stomped over to the twitching boy. “Gross! How dare you even speak my name, Worm. Talking to dead people about me? You make me so sick! Henry? Hit him.”
Henry slapped Worm on the side of the head. A notification advised the Necromancer he’d lost one Point of health. It should have been more but, thanks to the fact that Henry was a Fire Mage, his Strength stat was moderately woeful.
Tia Tettle, Aurora’s most faithful social lamprey, wrinkled her nose in disgust. “What a dirty boy,” she hissed. “Do you think he has filthy fantasies about you?”
Grunting, Henry slapped Worm on the side of the head again. This time the Necromancer lost no points, but picked up a stack of Shamed, which extended the duration of his Stunned Effect by a further ten seconds.
Worm groaned, mostly in frustration at that stage.
“I bet he does.” Aurora leaned over him, sneering. “I wager he even imagines me without any clothes on. Don’t you, Worm? You think about me all the time. Naked. What do you do to me in your filthy little mind?”
“How utterly revolting,” Tia gasped. She put her delicate hands up to her delicate ears. “I can’t listen to this anymore. Look. I got three stacks of Nausea just from hearing that.”
“Makes me sick, too.” Henry slapped Worm on the side of the head again, extending the duration of Worm’s Stunned Effect yet again.
“You disgust me, Worm,” Aurora told him as she pointed imperiously at his prone form. “Strip him, Henry. I want him to walk back to the dorms naked so everyone can see how ugly he is.”
Henry chuckled as he bent down and snatched Worm by the legs.
Tia gasped, her eyes wide as Henry began tugging off Worm’s pants.
Aurora giggled, her cheeks bright red.
And Worm gained a few more Achievements that night. None of which he was proud of.
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Sprawled on the ground a few feet from the Dungeon Entrance, Worm stared up at the featureless blue sky and let the memories of five years of bullying stab his mind once again.
No matter what he did, he knew those memories would never fade.
He could remember the humiliating walk back to his room.
The jeers. The laughter.
The endless mockery from his peers.
All because of her. Aurora. And the gaggle of entitled minor Nobles clinging to her dress in hope of gaining her attention along with a few Points to their Noble Status.
Since meeting her, his own Noble Status had dipped significantly.
Guided by his sour thoughts, the Achievement for reducing his Noble Status to zero and losing his Title floated with passive aggressive helpfulness in front of him until he brushed it away.
Aurora.
Everything was her fault. Everything.
And, worst of all, he couldn’t even get revenge on her.
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Are you there?
Worm sighed deeply as he heard Eric’s voice.
“Go away,” he growled. “I’m busy.”
Busy feeling pathetic.
And stupid.
And weak.
And now under the dubious influence of a growing stack of Depression.
Please. I don’t know what to do! I have to make choices, but I don’t know which ones to choose. I don’t know what half of this means. There’s too much…
“Talk to your Fairy. That’s what it’s there for.”
My what?
“Your Fairy,” Worm sighed.
I… I don’t have a Fairy…
“You’re a Dungeon. Of course you have a Fairy. All dungeons have Fairies. I know that much is true.”
Well, I don’t! There’s only me in here. I’m fairly sure I’d notice a Fairy. Wouldn’t I?
Worm closed his eyes. He didn’t really want to think about it. But he had to admit it did seem a bit strange if a Fairy hadn’t arrived by now.
“Alright,” he said at last. “I’ll go see if I can find it. It’ll be around here somewhere.”
As Worm dusted himself off and strolled a little aimlessly towards the surrounding trees, he was observed by Lord Pinkytoes who was also searching for Fairies but for completely different reasons.
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Cordelia crawled on her hands and knees, humiliation making her cheeks burn despite the fact her pale skin couldn’t reflect the blush she felt was there.
She sobbed as she neared the little campsite.
Daisy sat daintily on a log which looked to have been very well dusted and watched as the Vampire crawled closer.
The Undead Servant pursed her lips thoughtfully before speaking. “You’ll have to wait your turn.”
“What?” Cordelia’s mind, still scattered and shivering, tried to focus.
“Well, I was here first. And Petal was second.” Daisy tapped her bottom lip. “Of course, she’s in denial, but she’ll want to keep her position in the queue anyway, I should think. That means you’d be third in line.”
“I don’t…” The Vampire blinked as she started to understand the implications of Daisy’s words. “I wouldn’t!”
“Third,” Daisy said firmly.
Cordelia activated Vampire’s Gaze and fixed Daisy with a stare she knew intimidated anyone without a high Mental Fortitude stat.
Daisy stared back at her, unblinking. “I’m Undead, too. That doesn’t work on me.”
The Vampire’s eyes twitched and she turned off her skill. “Whatever. Your accusation is as ridiculous as it is offensive.”
“Third.”
Cordelia glared back at the Maid.
Almost a minute went by before the Vampire dropped her gaze with a tired sigh.
“Fine. I’m third.”
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Worm kicked through the knee-high brush of the forest, not really sure what he should be searching for.
There had been a small flock of Fairies in the forest near his home when he was growing up. They were mostly left alone as their species was known to take advantage of any offered kindness.
They’d eat anything. Squabble among themselves over scraps. Defecate everywhere.
His father had often compared them to gulls. Or rats.
And, like those pests, it was nearly impossible to exterminate a flock of fairies.
With this in mind, the Necromancer expected to find their Nest fairly quickly. What he didn’t expect to find was something which made his heart leap and his soul vibrate.
He gained two stacks of Joy, one of Ecstasy, and an Achievement.
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Graveyards were places of power for Necromancers.
Apart from containing Corpses and Skeletons suitable for Raising, they also held Spirits which could be Summoned. Even better, a well-maintained Graveyard could be upgraded to a Necropolis which would give a Necromancer access to a Well of Souls.
A Well of Souls could exponentially increase a Necromancer’s power and unlock many Skills which were considered apocalyptic.
To prevent this from happening, Graveyards were highly restricted and guarded against any Necromancer attempting to take Ownership of a Graveyard.
This particular Graveyard was overgrown, ancient, and completely forgotten.
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With trembling hands, Worm accepted ownership of the Graveyard.
He felt a gentle rumble under his feet as the change was accepted. Pushing aside the other Notification of his Achievement for the most Days without a Joy Buff, he stared in wonder at the new Achievement for gaining control of a Graveyard.
With this, he could study his Class more deeply and learn the Forbidden Secrets the Mage Guild had kept from him.
He was sure it would give him the power to summon armies of Undead. And, with that power he could finally set things right.
An image of Aurora’s family flashed in front of his face. Their disgust and contempt making his cheeks burn with shame as he reeled on unsteady legs into his new domain.
“Kill,” he murmured. “Kill them all!”
As he filled the Graveyard with maniacal laughter, he gained a stack of Dastardly Glee.
It wouldn’t last long.