Black Dahlia pulled up in a plain white virtual Ford Econoline van.  It was the kind of van that you saw everywhere.  You would see them out making deliveries, driving repair AI around town, and picking up stuff.  The Ford Econoline series had been used for centuries online and in the flesh realm, prized for its rugged anonymity.  It was the perfect vehicle for a quick quiet raid and more importantly a quick quiet getaway.

When she got close enough Dahlia beeped her horn.

BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP! 

When she had everyone in the park's attention, she rolled down the window and yelled out "Time's a wasting bitches.  The loot ain't gonna wait all day to be looted."

"Where's Savanah at?" Shouted Jesus Wept.    

"She's bringing up the rear, I think.  She called a couple of minutes ago and said she'd run into some trouble and she might be a bit late, but that there were no worries because she'd found a sub, whatever the hell that means." Yelled Dahlia.  "You fucks gonna get in or what?"

Both Dwight and Shrike walked up to where Necro was standing with Mike-Mike, Lauren, Big Mike and Choirboy.  "Savanah's running late" Necrobump said.

"Sometimes I think that this isn't the best way to do things.  Organizing in one of the most well visited parks in DC for a raid on a research area." Dwight said to Necro.  

"We're getting paid to make a splashy entrance, so we make a splashy entrance.  It isn't like anybody is getting seriously hurt in this.  Just a couple security guards dead and off to respawn.  The contract says we try to look as much like regular gamers as possible."  Necro said.

"Well I think it’s a stupid contract." said Shrike, "but money's money.  The more we get the better a custom server we can set up for the guild."

“Who gives a fuck, all I want to do is fuck some people up.” Said Jesus Wept who still hadn’t put away his minigun.

It was at that moment that Savanah chose to pull up to the McPherson Square.  Despite the fact that Savanah's van was an all-white classic Ford Econoline too, there was however one great big glaring difference between the getaway vehicle that Savanah had chosen and the one being driven by Black Dahlia.  Painted on both sides in massive lettering were the words "FREE CANDY."

Savanah poked her head out the window, without first beeping her horn.

"What the Fuck Savanah, what's with the creeper van?"  yelled Necrobump

"You try to steal a pristine white van in the middle of the day when the one you've been scoping out for the past couple days is gone.  This was all I could find in a hurry.  Some guy had it parked in his garage over in Adams Morgan."  said Savanah.

"We are trying not be seen " said Necro.

"Actually..." said Dwight.

"How can we sneak up on a highly secure research building if we look like we are pedophiles trolling for kiddies?" Necro said.  

By this time Shrike and Jesus Wept were howling with laugher.  Choirboy looked halfway between bemusement and concern.

"Maybe we should keep this van.  Maybe we should use it as the most bestous distraction in the whole wide world.  If we want to go someplace and not be notice, we simply park it near a nearby school, wait for the neighborhood parents to come at it with pitchforks and burning torches, and then we strike!"  yelled Shrike.  

She walked around to the back "Even the back windows are darkened so nobody can see in and nobody can see out."

Savanah sighed.  "If you're going to make fun, you might as well know everything."  Savanah turned and looked back into the van, pressed a button on the Dashboard and suddenly from hidden loudspeakers the joyful digital sounds of the Iced Cream Truck Song began to play loudly.

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

It was just too much.  Jesus Wept started howling with laughter, and even his second small head was laughing now.  Shrike had tears running down the side of her face.  Choirboy, Mike-Mike, Big Mike and Lauren were trying way to hard to keep a straight face.  

But Dahlia got them all back on track really quickly.  'Come on guys we have a deadline to make."

And so the raid group opened the back doors of both Vans and spit up, finding places to sit.  Dimly Necro heard Shrike yell out from inside the other van "Please don't touch me there Mister," followed by more gales of laughter.  

They made good time driving through Washington DC.  

Both Dahlia and Savanah were great drivers, two of the best in the entire I Like Big Booty guild.  Their skills would be well needed if their team was going to get out this raid with the loot, the mission accomplished, without respawning. 

The target Research Institution was located just off Military Road in Chevy Chase.  And the both vans were parked just a block away on a nicely deserted friendly residential neighborhood.  

Along the drive, Necro had been sending e-instructions, packets of encrypted coding and when the Dahlia had parked the van, he opened the back door and got out.  Overhead the cherry blossoms were in bloom.  DC was beautiful in the spring, and despite the fact that most tourists went down to see the cherry blossoms at the tidal basin, Northern DC and Maryland around Chevy Chase often had streets lined with flowering trees.  Bursts of pink and white lined avenues.  Pink and white petals fluttering in the breeze.

A couple seconds later, and inquisitive "Meow" drew Necro's attention.  Necrobump waked over to Mr. Sulla picked him up by his belly saying "who’s a good kitty.  Mr. Sulla's a good Kitty that's who." and walked back to the Van.  

Mike-Mike, Big Mike and Lauren had pulled computer gear and power supplies out of their inventories and were busy setting up a mobile computing workstation.  Dahlia had set up a video link to the other van, and Necro watched as Jesus Wept, Dwight, and Shrike put on layers and layers of Kevlar and weaponry.  

Jesus was still carrying his minigun.  He also had a claymore strapped across his back, and a set of knives at his waist.  Dwight had a M-16, a katana, and two long daggers.  And Shrike was packing a Kalashnikov in one hand, and had several dozen knives strapped to various parts of her body, her other arm glowed dimly with mana and ice was forming in her hand.

"Hold it, Shrike."  Necro said.  "This is a low mana zone, and I'm pretty sure the research building is in an artificial no mana area."

"That's why we've got you oh great combat battery Necro poop.  Hey?  Is that a Cat you're holding or do you just want some pussy?" Said Shrike.

"It's my neighbor's cat.  I overrode its AI and since Mike-Mike was busy, I reprogram it for recon duties.  It has been tomcatting around all week scoping out any defenses we might have missed."  Necro handed the Cat to Mike-Mike.  The cat Meowed piteously as a wire interfaced was placed in the cat’s anus so that Mike-Mike could download its data to their computers.  

"This should only take a minute or two." said Mike-Mike.