I can hear some muttering in the dark, The voices feel familiar but I don't know who's. I'm trying to open my eyes but I feel like their already open, as if I'm blind. I can't feel anything either, or smell or taste. I can't even feel the sensation of my tongue in my mouth, or having a mouth for that matter. I can't feel anything. I can't sense anything but still I have my emotions, my thinking... but not memories. What are my memories? I remember I was going out for something, I needed to help someone... I can imagine a face. No that's not him, it looks familiar, a round face with big eyes, long eye lashes, and light brown irises, almost yellow. That person is looking right at me, familiar but I don't know where from. Without even meaning to I imagine a body for them. They are alone in a room with their back to the wall, and they look so very sad, I can't tell what about them but I know they are, I know they look at me and their eyes are both rejecting and inviting. Forgetting that I don't have a body anymore I try to approach them, but I cannot move. Instead the entire room stretches toward me and the other person is looking bigger, so much bigger that they encompass my whole vision. Before I know it I face a black screen, but it feels more real, like a real black screen, like my eyes are open this time and I can see, that's when a familiar voice enters my ears.

"Will it work this time?"

I can hear, I feel ecstatic that I can hear again. And my mind floods with thoughts. Thoughts of the goblins, and Gaveng and Rodrick and everything I had passed before. How could have I forgotten? Did I die?

"It doesn't matter, we will do it a hundred times if necessary. There is no other way... or rather, there is no way, and only doing the impossible will save us."

I open my eyes and everything is so bright. I can't see, and I wait for my vision to adjust to the room.

"He's waking up! Master, he's waking up!" That voice... it's Barn's! I can recall, when I first arrived it was Barn and his Shaman, am I in the same place now? I take my time getting up while the two are yapping at each other like last time.

"I must rest, It has barely been half a moon and there's so much energy and mana I spent."

"But last time I really confused the outsider, I don't know what to tell him."

"You had so much time to practice and yet you don't know what to say? If I could talk to the outsider right now I wouldn't have called you here to help me."

I hate to interrupt their argument "Umm... Barn, may we go outside, I would feel better out of this gloomy room." They both look at me with shock. after a short pause I continue "I feel better now, is Rodrick alright by the way? He probably had to carry me from the mine, I don't remember much after that mess." They look shocked still, and turn to each other a bit. Was I not supposed to get up so early and eagerly? Something must be odd... Hmmm I think maybe "Barn, did you grow taller?"

The old shaman turn to Barn with a tired look but a slight smile. "That solves the pain of explaining everything. So off you go now, I need to replenish my power in case it happens again." I casually walk to the door and open it, the light is almost too birhgt to open my eyes.

"Dan, wait... I mean... hold on. Are you really the same as the one before?" Barn follows me quickly.

"I was down for half a month? No wonder the sun stings in my eyes. Did you call me Dan? My name is Fren, remember? oh, I think I haven't told you. Speaking of Dan, where is he? What did I miss for two whole weeks?"

Barn looks hesitant to speak, he has a worried face... oh no, did something happen to Dan while I was away or recovering.

"Da- Fren, you died... Umm you didn't recover. uhh..." He struggles with his words "Master said we need to call another outsider so... We did the ritual again and... here you are. We didn't know you'd be the same outsider."

What is Barn saying? I look at my hands for a moment... these aren't my old hands... or my cloths or any of my body. This is different from Dali's body. My heart, it feels like it stops beating, a stabbing pain crushes my chest when I think of... no, it's when I realize... I realize why Barn mistook and yelled out Dan earlier. I drop to my knees, then fall on my side and proceed to sit down hugging my legs. My chest is burning from within.

"Barn... no..." I silently mumble, I want it to be a lie. I want Barn to tell me it isn't real, or that... SOMETHING! tears start dropping down on my cheek, on Dan's cheek. I know it! I know I know I know I know I know!!! I don't want to know, I don't want to believe. I look at Barn and his worried face didn't change much, if anything it became more worried, or actually mourning look, full of pity.

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I took Dali's life to get here, Dan's father, and then I took his life. Why am I even here?! what good am I even doing here? Why did I try to begin with? all I can think of is how things would have been better if I had remained and hadn't gone out to that goblin hunt.

"Fren... I'm sorry. I know this is hard for you to deal with. I would feel bad too if... well..." seriously? Barn, have you ever felt like a burned like this? A liability that took the lives of two people? "There are so many lives at steak and... it was actually... We need you to help us. I know no one is more sad about this than you are but-"

"No one? not even Dali's widow? Or Dan's sister? I took both of these men from them just for being alive. I know they had a hard time the first time around but now... now that it took someone I wanted to protect too..." am I such a hypocrite? It must have hurt this much for them when I first met them, but I didn't think of that. I only know a speck of how they felt just now.

"I know you feel sorry... But Dali and Dan both gave their lives for us knowingly... This is no one's fault."

"No." I refuse to take that lie "It's someone's fault." and I know who partially to blame. I get up and walk, then I run. I can tell the way, I remember it somewhat and not long before I can even see that tree that had a large hack in it from my swing, it had mended but the tree is permanently slanted. Not far from the tree is a house and the knocking on the door go BAM BAM BAM.

"Rodrick, open up. I have a word with you!"

A few moments later the door opens and the shocked old man looks at me "D-" he stops himself from saying the name of the person who once inhabited this body of mine. "Is it... Is it the same... Fren?"

The mean look I give him grows more angry, on purpose. I want him to feel afraid. I want him to feel regret. I want him to know how angry I am that he let Dan throw away his life.

"You knew I cared about Dan and you let him die. You stupid old man, I will neve-"

I will never forgive you.

That's what I wanted to say, 'I will never forgive you'. But I was dumbfounded when I found Rodrick hugging me like a mother hugs her lost child. I don't know what to do with my hands, or what to say or do with myself at all.

"Fren... I am so sorry. This is all too much for an old man to take. Fren, Fren, I'm so sorry Fren." I'm so sorry. That goes on repeat. "Dan was... I wanted to stop him. I'm so sorry."

"What?" I try to break the hug forcefully "What are you sorry about? Why didn't you stop him? Rodrick, what's going on."

"I wanted to stop him, Dan. I wanted to stop him from giving his life, I told him to stop, that he had so much to live for and to let other people in the village do it. I told him that it's not what you would have wanted. I know, I know I should have stopped him, I should never have let him leave."

What do I do now? seeing an old man like Rodrick barely holding the tears, His eyes sparkle with wet round drops, barely held back. I wondered why has Rodrick let Dan sacrifice himself for me. turns out, Rodrick had little choice in the matter. He continues to mumble sorry and tries to explain where they were and how they talked and what he should have said and done differently, even mentioning how it wouldn't have happened had he died instead of me against Gaveng.

"Rodrick... stop." I can't take much more of this "I was mad and I was sad, but now with this in front of me I think... I think it's OK to start thinking about the future..."

And he does. He tells me about the funeral they had to me, about how Dan took it harsh and sensed the duty fall onto him. He tells me about how the mine came back up to run, and the people who used to mine there came back, they were poor trying to farm vegetables and now that the mine is back they can make a living again. He told me how Harry the smith took his time and made an effort to smith me a sword, and helped a Fletcher make some armor that will be sturdy and strong. And how the village shaman told the folk about a second attempt and how Dan volunteered immediately, and the weapons and armor were made for his size. One last thing he had to mention was that Dan's family is now supported by the village and that Dan was determined to give himself to the cause that Dali gave himself, and that I gave myself too for. The purpose of saving the village.

“He thought you’d be a different outsider, the thought hadn't occurred that you’d come back with the same memories and everything.”

“I thought I was strong, when I went up against Gaveng I realized how ordinary I am… how am I any help?”

“You’re wrong, you are a great help! You might not know this but Named creatures are incredibly powerful, not only that but the magic you used, for a beginner that was amazing.” Was it really? I remember swinging the axe so hard with that magic swing and getting deflected by Gaveng’s shield.

“And you even used it more than once or twice a day, you might just be amazing without knowing it, hehe… but you can understand the overwhelming forces that Hunters need to face every time. You will not go far without more help.” he thinks for a moment “Jade won’t be coming back for a while, I think I’ll give you the same recommendation I gave him.”

“What recommendation? To a guild? I remember something like that.”

“Go pick up the armor and weapons, we can talk from there.”

I walk out the door, I felt terrible about Dan’s sacrifice, and I still do, but I also feel the urge to make it count, and to save what he tried to save. His village, his family. He might have gone, but our friendship is still not over, not until I defend what he gave himself to preserve.