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Shocked and hurting, Jane had stumbled away from her parents’ house, crawled back home and spent a week laying in bed, sobbing and distraught, thinking her life was over. She’d hated her parents, hated herself, hated her decision to get breast implants, and hated the world.
She’d cried and cried, ignoring everything and everyone in her life. Curled up in bed, she’d barely eaten, subsisting on mac-and-cheese and toast, with every dish in the apartment piling up in the sink.
The only thing that had eventually pulled her out of that darkness had been the need to pay her bills. Her whole future had felt uncertain, and without family support to back her up, she had been scared, like standing on the edge of a precipice, about to fall. The student loan money had all but run out, and there would be no more help from her parents. So she’d turned to her online life and sought to monetize it as quickly as possible.
All hours of the day, she’d streamed and made videos and picture sets. Keeping her newly enhanced upper body hidden, she’d developed content that used all the right angles and strategically-placed costumes to keep her implants a secret, terrified of how the world would react when they found out. Surely it would be just like her parents all over again. She’d gone through so much makeup trying to get her puffy eyes to look normal despite all the weeping she regularly did when not on camera.
To her delight and relief, followers had begun to support her with more than just likes. Little by little, a dollar here and a few more there had come in. That first month, she hadn’t eaten much, and she hadn’t left her apartment, but she had been able to pay her rent and utilities and survive. And for that, she’d taken a measure of pride. For the first time in her life, she’d not only stood up for herself but stood on her own and made something of her own future.
But she couldn’t keep hiding forever. It had been becoming more and more difficult to keep the secret of her body, and hiding it, even from strangers on the internet, felt wrong. It had been her decision to alter her appearance, and she didn’t want to regret it. Plus, the job offers were only going to be good for so long.
So she’d finally decided to come clean. She’d chosen to ero-cosplay a witch from a new movie coming out, with pay-to-access pics of her taking off the costume and wearing only black lingerie. It was simple, and it showed the change she’d gone through. And now, with the click of a mouse, those pictures were out in the world, and everyone’s image of her was about to change, too.
She was so nervous that she trembled at her computer, waiting for the harsh reactions to come in, the fans who would turn on her the way her parents had. She knew there would be some.
Wow. Fake tits. Guess you’re selling out, too, huh?
Ugh, bitch, why??? Were nicer before wen naturl
I followed you because of your amazing costumes. I thought you were a woman I could admire as a fellow artist. Apparently not. Say hi to Playboy for me, you fraud.
(thumbs down)(thumbs down)(thumbs down)(thumbs down)
And another slut gives into the misogynistic male gaze for the money. Way to sell the rest of us out, honey.
Are you doing porn now?
(vomit) Gross
You plstic two?
She tried to ignore these. She really tried. When dealing with the public, you have to toughen your skin, because there are a lot of bad people out there. They want to hurt you. They want to undermine your confidence so you’ll fall apart and be less successful in the future. Jane knew this. And she saw that these were the minority of comments she was getting. Most feedback was from guys going over the moon for her new body and even from some women telling her she looked even hotter than before. They were encouraging.
And yet, the haters still managed to drive a dagger between her new breasts with each terrible comment. For some stupid reason, the harsh comments outweighed the good, no matter the ratio. They just stuck in her head and went around and around and made her sick to her stomach.
She sat back in her chair and slouched. Maybe she’d still been too fragile to do this. Maybe it had been too soon to come out after the fallout with her family.
Her phone rang, and she picked the cell up off the desk. It was her sister. She lit up and smiled. Her parents had cut her off, but her younger sister hadn’t. She’d been disappointed, but she’d stayed in Jane’s life. And now Jane was eager to talk to someone supportive. She answered. “Susie!”
“Are you serious right now?”
That took Jane aback. “What?”
“I just saw the new post. Mom and Dad were right, you’re just selling your body now,” she scoffed.
Jane felt her spine stiffen. She wasn’t going to take even more abuse. Not from her little sister, too. “Susie, come on. It’s the twenty-first century. Lots of people do this. So the pictures show some skin, so what? It’s no different than some of the other cosplay I’ve done.”
“You just have porn star tits now. And pose in lingerie.”
Jane frowned. “I still get to do what I love: play games and cosplay. I’ll get to go to amazing conventions, and I even get to travel to other countries! And I’ll get to do it all myself because I’m going to make money from this like other creators do. I might actually be able to make a career of it for a while instead of working in some boring lab or office and—“
“And slaving away like some idiot. Like me.”
“I didn’t say that! You can do whatever makes you happy. Can’t I do it, too?”
“What you’re doing is prostitution. You’re going to charge guys money to see your tits. What does it matter if it’s online or in person, it’s the same thing. That’s gross. It was embarrassing enough telling my friends you were into cosplay back in the day. I can’t tell them this is you now. I don’t even recognize you.”
Jane fought back angry despair. “Why? Because I got breast implants? So what? How is that any different than makeup? Or a bra that lifts and pads that add a cup size? You saw how much weight I lost from working out. I needed these.”
“Yeah, you needed them so you can give guys hardons and milk them for cash. Whatever. Go live your own life. But from now on, I’m with mom and dad. Don’t call.” The phone clicked off.
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Jane stared at the black screen, now devoid of life, just like how her life was now devoid of family.
“Why are you all so upset?” she mumbled to herself, tears welling. “Over nothing. Over these?” She grabbed her breasts and choked back a sob. “Do I really mean so little to all of you?” Susie’s behaviour was a shocking development, a 180-degree turn from the little sister who had long looked up to her older sister, treating her like an idol for most of her life. It had been a relationship that Jane had come to cherish as she’d gotten older. And now, just like that, it, too, might be gone.
She drew back her arm and almost whipped the cell phone at the wall but managed to come to her senses in time. She tossed it on the bed instead, anger, pain, sadness, and heartache swirling within her chest.
She needed to not be alone right now. Mentally, she scrolled through a list of people she could call and talk to, or even hang out with. The list was depressingly short. In fact, to her faint surprise, she couldn’t think of one real friend that she could reach out to at the moment, especially over something serious and not just hanging out for drinks or something light.
She realized that, over the past couple of years, her real-world friends had grown increasingly distant. Some of that was likely her own fault as Jane spent more and more time online and hadn’t taken the time and effort to stay engaged with real people offline the way that she did with fans on the internet. Looking back, that had been a very stupid mistake. Real people were obviously more important than followers. Especially for times like this.
But if she thought about it, the fault hadn’t been hers alone, had it? It was as if the more followers she’d gained online, the less interested in her some of her real friends had become. Why? Had they felt threatened by her online popularity? Why should that have anything to do with friendship?
Jane glanced at the computer. Maybe she should chat up one of her online friends. Or her followers. Yeah, right. That wasn’t the kind of relationship anyone online wanted from her. They only wanted the happy, perfectly posed, online version of her.
Throwing herself face-down onto the bed, she let the air whoosh from her lungs. If only she had a boyfriend she could call up. The last two hadn’t worked out, though. The first had thought her nothing but an easy, kinky lay because she dressed up in costumes and shared pics of herself online. The second had gotten super possessive and controlling, demanding an end to her hobby and stalking her both on- and offline. Reading nasty comments posted under her pictures by too many guys hadn’t been endearing her to the opposite sex much either.
She rolled over onto her back and sighed, wiping away a tear. She wanted to be with someone, but what options did she have? She could just be with random fans for the skinship, however temporary it might be. Though she wasn’t sure if that was really what she needed or if it would even help.
Or she could do what some other online personalities did and use the attention she might get now as a sexy creator to bait rich guys with big bank accounts into dating her. They might have self-centred personalities and big egos, but she could set herself up for life with the right one, right? She followed enough fellow creators to notice the women snapping selfies in luxury cars and private jets or wearing bikinis at some billionaire’s Caribbean estate. Maybe she should try that. Stop worrying about anyone and anything, and live a life of pure, selfish luxury. Except she hated gold-digging and the people who did it.
She groaned and sat up, hugging her knees. She wanted to make her own way in life. She wanted to be a real partner to someone, not just a trophy that you dress up and show friends that you invited over for the Sunday football game or who you take to golf tournaments to impress the boss.
She wanted someone who liked her for who she was. She scoffed at herself. Ironic after getting the implants. But still, wouldn’t it be nice to have someone supportive regardless of what she chose to do with her body?
A tension headache started coming on, and she rubbed her temples. Maybe she should quit the online thing.
But what would she do then? Being a content creator was how she paid rent now. Or at least it had been for the past few months. And without a degree or experience or qualifications, what ‘regular’ job could she get? Start at a fast food restaurant like some eighteen-year-old? She was twenty-six. People her age were starting to get married and thinking about kids.
Should she try to go back to school? Beg new loans and finish her science degree? Two more years and tens of thousands of dollars and become ‘normal’ again? Acceptable? Like everyone else?
Thrusting her pain and confusion aside, she returned to the desk and her computer. But she closed the social media window. She didn’t want to deal with any of it right now. She needed distraction from the darkness in her mind.
Cruising around gaming sites, she saw the recent explosion of World of Fantasy: Golden Impact ads. They’d been everywhere for months. She’d heard amazing things about the beta, though there was a greater-than-usual level of secrecy about things. She’d played the old version of the game for a bit when younger but had been into other games more. Then the whole scandal era had happened, and the game had kind of died off a lot. But she was well aware that the company behind it, NOVisionWizard, had been the king of gaming companies for a really long time. If the media buzz was any indication, this new full-dive version that they were coming out with was going to be huge. Working for them as a cosplayer at this year’s WizCon would be a fantastic coup — if she could get herself invited. Come to think of it, she really should be coming up with cosplay ideas for when the game was released. Creators had to stay topical.
She scrolled through World of Fantasy news. According to some posts, a lot of influencers had been contacted during the beta period and offered brand-new gaming rigs for Golden Impact in exchange for publicity. That was highly unusual. Especially given the fact that many of these influencers had been well-known critics of the company during the scandal days. Then again, maybe that was the point, to draw these critics back and get them to change their tune and rehab NOVisionWizard’s image.
She hadn’t paid much attention before but, taking a closer look, she saw that many of the online personalities bragging about getting new gaming machines had much smaller followings than she had. Jane was a pretty well-known cosplayer and streamer at this point. Yet no one had reached out to her about being an influencer for the game. That was kind of disappointing. Maybe she should reach out directly. She might even score herself one of those gaming rigs, too.
Entering a chat with for NOVWiz Marketing, she typed, “Hey. Influencer here with 2.5m followers. I do gaming and cosplay. Any chance you’re still looking for content creators?”
Admin: “Of course we are! :) Please provide your account info, and we’ll check them out and get back to you.”
She gave them her account links and stared at the chat window.
There was no reply.
She waited a few minutes. Then fifteen. Finally, after an hour, she typed again in the chat. “Hi. Just checking in. You got the links, right?”
Admin: “Yes, thank you. At this time, we’re looking at other content creators. But we appreciate your interest.”
What? Jane frowned at the screen. That was a weird reply.
She typed. “Just curious, is something wrong? I’ve got more followers than a bunch of the people you’re partnering with. I think I can do a lot of content for you guys, too. Maybe even on stage, like at WizCon. I’ve already accepted offers to appear at Tokyo GameCon, Vancouver World Cosplay, and LA’s FantasyCon.”
There was a long pause again.
Admin: “At this time, you are not the type of content creator that we’re looking to partner with. Have a nice day.”
Jane sat back in her chair, stunned. What? Not the type they were looking for? Why? Realization dawned. Because she showed a little too much skin recently in her pics? Because she’d crossed the line into being too sexy?
Anger surged forth. She’d had enough of the way everyone had been treating her. Just because she wanted to cosplay instead of studying microbiology. Just because she wanted to feel like a woman instead of a tomboy.
Looking around, she found the NOVisionWizard page where people could buy the new full-dive machines directly. It looked like they’d just gone on sale. The price tag was staggering. Fine. Whatever. It would go on her credit card, and she’d deal with the repercussions later. She’d work her ass off making World of Fantasy cosplays and earn ten times the console’s cost back. She clicked BUY and sat back in her chair.
She’d get the game and play it. And she’d content-create it and get more popular than ever. She’d do it as sexy as she damned well pleased and show as much of her new tits as she liked because she damned well liked them and what she looked like now, no matter what her family or anyone else thought of her. And they’d come crawling back to her, begging her to be on stage at WizCon, cosplaying for them.
Female
26
JANE EULA
Class NONE, Level 1
STR
STATUS
DEX
Currently feeling rebellious.
HEA
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INT
WIS
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STA
CHA