Lawrence

It was a week after the incident and Lawrence was still exhausted. Work had been slow at Blink so he was getting proper sleep, for once. Maybe, that was the problem. Maybe he had gotten so used to functioning on four hours a day that proper rest was actually tiring for him. He shut his eyes, fell back in his office chair, and chugged down a cup of coffee.

Every time he tried going to bed, he would wake up shivering and covered in sweat. He’d feel the skin of his arms and his chest to see if it was still on fire. Then, he’d rub his eyelids and groan for someone to put him out of his misery. He needed a break.

Blink was seeing its worst fiscal year in decades. Stock was at an all-time low. Of course, people would be wary of the brand that was painted red by terrorists. There had been many layoffs but Mr. Roland had spared him from delivering the bad news.

That was his only silver lining.

For some reason, many employees still blamed him for the firings. Lawrence wanted to be mad about that but he didn’t see a point. What do I care? It makes them feel better. The office building was a ghost town now. The cubicles on Lawrence’s floor had been completely cleared out save for a few employees that gave him angry looks every time he passed them by.

Like any of this is my fault.

But no matter the circumstances, Lawrence could always count on the comfort of arranging his files at the end of the day. Today, he felt nothing but melancholy and lethargy, like his limbs were being pulled into hot tar but he lacked the will to break them out. He arranged his files in alphabetical order. He didn’t like that so he put them in order of relevance. That didn’t seem right either. He took a deep breath and arranged them by date. This time for sure. It just… It didn’t feel right. He took them out and put them alphabetically again. He did it again and again and again until the files slipped from his fingers and scattered all over the floor. He broke down into tears. He didn’t want to be done.

Today was his last day at Blink.

There was a gentle knock on his door. He wiped his eyes and walked over to open it, being careful to not step on any of the papers. It was Mr. Roland. The big man practically jumped at the sight of the room. He looked at Lawrence who was too afraid to meet his gaze. Lawrence waited for him to tell him off about the lousy state of his office. He knew he had it coming. There was no point in fearing the inevitable.

Mr. Roland walked past Lawrence, crouched down, and started picking up the papers without saying a word. After a moment of hesitation, Lawrence crouched down as well and started picking up the papers in a far corner of the room.

“How do we arrange them?” asked Roland.

“Any way you like, sir,” Lawrence answered.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

“I’ll do them by date. That seems fine enough.”

The floor was already half-clear. Roland handed his half of the papers to Lawrence which he accepted with a nod.

“If you don’t mind, sir, can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.”

“Do you…” He exhaled and shut his eyes. “Do you ever have trouble sleeping at night? When you think of all the people you’ve hurt, all the things you have done, how do you go to bed every single night and tell yourself, I deserve to rest?”

Roland smacked his lips and looked to the ceiling as if he was asking God for an answer. “I don’t know. I suppose I just try my best to do what I believe in and hope that someday, someone can forgive me. We can only go so far on our own, just caring about ourselves, Larry. At some point, you have to choose your friends and pick your battles. That means putting some people above others and sometimes, that means hurting those closest to you. I wish… I wish you wouldn’t leave.”

Lawrence turned to face a corner wall as he bent down to pick up the last of the papers. “This is your battle, not mine, sir. I didn’t choose this.”

“I know. We had a deal and I intend to honor that, believe me. But you should know, this became your battle the day you stepped into my office. The Order will come for you someday and when that day comes, I won’t be there to protect you.”

Lawrence felt like needles were being pricked into his stomach. Roland was right. Running was the least practical option. If Trent’s people decided to pursue him, he’d be gunned down in days, if not hours. But then, he thought of Caroline’s lifeless body resting over him, and Jeremy Calico’s innocent smile, and felt like running away as fast as possible. He hurriedly snatched the remaining papers off the floor, bundled them with Roland’s pile, and arranged them in a neat stack over his desk for the last time.

For the last time.

He felt sick.

“You must think I’m a monster,” said Roland as he dusted his clothes.

Lawrence did not answer him.

“I must be the worst boss you’ve ever had. Dragging you to a militant country in the middle of nowhere, forcing you to watch as I…” Roland tore away from his gaze and chuckled to himself. “Everything I’ve ever done, I’ve done to protect the justice that I believe in. I’m fighting tigers, Larry. I can’t afford to be an antelope.”

“What’s the future for Blink, sir?”

“Same as it’s always been. We pick ourselves up, start from scratch, and come back stronger than ever. Gonna be hard to do it on my own. Boy, it’d be swell if I had a friend by my side.”

Lawrence stoned his heart and walked past Roland without the slightest hint of emotion on his face. “I’m sure you’ll find someone who deserves your trust, sir.”

“Good luck, Larry. I mean it. I hope you can find whatever it is that you’re looking for.”

Lawrence unlocked his door to walk out. His life at Blink had finally come to an end. He’d brought no luggage to work so he had no luggage to carry home. There was no one to say goodbye to. No one to throw him a farewell party or try to stop him or even ask why he was walking away from the best-paying job of his life.

He wondered where he would go next. The world was a bigger place than it had been six months ago. He could go to Regalia, the Wadin Empire, and the Mitsurugi Isles on his own terms. Maybe even go beyond the ocean. He had the savings to last him a while. He could finally go on that vacation he’d always wanted. Plus, his resume was the tops now. With the letter of recommendation he had gotten from Roland, he could get hired anywhere in the world. Well, within reason, of course. But still, for the first time in his life, Lawrence was truly free.

He felt happy.

Before he left his office, he turned around to face Roland for the last time. The big man was leaning over his desk, his head lowered in sorrow. Even at the lowest point of his company, he glowed with this magnificent aura that Lawrence couldn’t help but feel confident in. He knew that the big man would be just fine without him. He called out his former boss with a cheerful smile. “Sir!”

Roland looked up at his in astonishment. His eyes were glistening with tears. “Yeah, Larry?”

“For what it’s worth, you’re not the worst boss in the world.”

They both looked at each other and laughed their hearts out.