“Let’s speed this up, goth-boy…” Sarah sat back, sneaking a peek at the clock above the doorway. “I didn’t think we’d fucking be here all day.”

Isaac leaned forward examining his deck. He nodded as he fanned it back and set it on the table.

“Alright.” The woman judge sighed exaggeratedly, “Isaac got one. You both ready for round two?”

After shuffling his deck, he placed his five shield cards before him, “Yes. Let’s get this going.”

“Cool. Since I lost the last round, I’m choosing to go first.” Drawing her card, Sarah flipped over the first fish rock she set, “I’ll play Scrapper. Go.”

The day had been draining for her. Between the alien asshole, the bitch baby, Crystal’s crisis, and the straight-up fucker in the Hawaiian shirt, I honestly should never play this damn game again...

Looking over his hand, Isaac set it back down before motioning for her to pick up her turn.

“Fuck yes. I’ll play Rapid Growth.” Placing down her third fish rock, she grinned, “I told you, you got lucky last time.” Turning Scrapper, Sarah waited for him to pick up his shield.

After another pass from her opponent, Sarah picked up her card, stretching her already exaggerated expression, “Well, now you’re making this too easy for me. I’ll play Gemless Carbuncle, gaining me another play point.” Placing down yet another fish rock, she slammed down a card utop the glittering green piece of cardboard, “I’ll evolve him into Bhuran, Legendary Guide and have both him and Scrapper break two more of your shields!”

After confirming the duds he picked up, Isaac put his hand on his deck, “I’ll forfeit this round.”

“What? That was only just the third turn, dude.”

Isaac shrugged, “I bricked. It’s as simple as that, Weatherford.” He scratched the back of his neck, pulling up his hood a bit, “There’s still the last round.”

With a sigh, Sarah joined in with picking up her own cards, “Fine. But if I win, you can’t bitch and say it’s because you drew badly.” A wicked grin found her way onto her visage once more, “Instead… You must refer to me as ‘Master’!”

A scoff. “You can’t be serious.”

“Serious as shit, church-boy.”

Shuffling through his deck once more, he set it back down before nodding. “I’ve got a bad matchup, but fine. But if I win, you need to attend mass with me next Sunday.”

“Really?” The last time Sarah went to church, everyone spoke Latin and stood up and sat down more than she did when her dad was really into calaesthetics. The church itself was almost as old as the country itself and the man with the funny hat up front appeared just as ancient. “Alright. Been a sec since I went, so do I need to bring my own wine, or…?”

“Just go ahead and start picking out your Sunday best.”

“I’ll pass.”

The judge sat on her stool between the two duelists. While not appearing too middle-aged, the day certainly slammed her on the other side of forty. Her short brown hair led to her tan complexion. She looked like she’d much rather be outside, or rather, home.

“Okay, my go.” Without much thought, Sarah slapped down an all too familiar red card, “Let’s start with a Scrapper. Go.”

Much like the last round, Sarah had established herself before her opponent.

Without looking at his hand, Isaac set down a card behind his shields, “I’ll set a trap card and pass it back.”

“A trap for two points, huh? I might be able to guess what that is.” The current pool for trap cards was fairly small, and given the range of cards he could use from his Strike Leader pretty much told her everything.

Placing down a card on the field, she smirked, “So I’ll just play around that a little. I’ll cast Beltran Street Special.” The Noble card depicting a street robbery was a simple matte card with no glitter, no holofoils.

“I’ve got no cards on the field, Weatherford.” Isaac replied flatly.

“Nah, but I’ll cast it on my Scrapper and get rid of that annoying ‘Need to attack every turn’ effect.” Sarah sat back scratching her head, “I went through all that, but I’m still gonna break your shield with him this turn though.”

Picking up his card, he placed it on the field, “[Shield Skill], Phantom Axe. Targeting and destroying your Scrapper.”

“Geez, and after all that work too…” Putting the card in the graveyard, she prompted her opponent to start his turn.

“It’s not much, but I’ll summon a Sixth Storm Oracle,” He placed another fish rock, giving him four now, “It gains me another point and I’ll pass over to you.”

Sarah brushed her bangs from her eyes, “Geez dude, if you want me to go with you to church, you’re gonna have to try harder.” Placing a card on the field, she sighed, “Let’s see if you got it, I’ll summon Gemless Carbuncle.”

“Right you are. Sixth Storm Showers, gaining me another play point on the summon of your creature.”

“I’ll gain one as well for Carbuncle’s effect.”

With her opponent’s turn starting, he held six play points versus her five when she begins her next turn. Shit. I’m gonna need to pick up the pace.

“Alright.” Placing a card that had not been seen in quite some time, Isaac actually chuckled, “I’ll summon a Shadowsmiter Unit, normally this would destroy every card with [Blocker], but we don’t have any of those.”

“Hey there we go. Sounds like someone’s actually having fun.”

“I am having fun, Weatherford.” Isaac scratched the back of his neck, “Do I look like I’m not at times?”

Side eyeing the same wall the judge had bore through with her glazed stare, Sarah coughed slightly, “Nah, just double checking.” Holy shit I don’t know how to talk to this guy?

“Anyways, I’ll draw.” Fanning through her hand, she placed down a card utop of Carbuncle, “Let’s evolve into Leilah, Knight’s Wing Leader, and just cast a Rapid Growth.” Gaining another play point, she was now on par with her adversary.

“Yeah, I’ll do the same.” Isaac placed his own Rapid Growth down after starting his turn, “And I’ll set another trap. Your move.”

Man, he makes his turns so fast! This is the opposite of that ‘Mark’ guy…

“Let’s spice it up a bit! I’ll summon an Ankleslicer to my field, ending all keyword effects, including your Shadowsmiter Unit’s [Double Strike] effect.”

Isaac flipped over his set card, “Cool, but I’ll activate my Sixth Storm Showers, gaining another play point.”

“Geez. Can’t I play anything without you benefiting off of it too?”

With a shrug, the hooded man placed the used trap in the graveyard.

“Fine!” Slapping down another card, her ape brain came back online, “I’ll summon a Scrapper and cast another Rapid Growth!”

Taking a second to count it out, she now sat on eight play points on turn five, a damn good curve if she said so herself. But with her opponent now at 10 whole points at the beginning of his turn, she felt like she fell off somewhere.

Continuing to look at the board state, she had all five of her shields with her three creatures of Leilah, Scrapper, and Ankleslicer versus his four remaining shields but a powerful Shadowsmiter Unit and a simple Sixth Storm Oracle.

“Turn start. I’ll spend nine of my 10 play points to summon Wielder of the Dawn Blade.”

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

Sitting back, Sarah scratched her head. Shit, this guy’s pretty fucking nasty. When he breaks shields, he sends them straight to the graveyard, shutting down any [Shield Skills]...

Turning his two other creatures, he pointed to one of her shields, “I’ll have Shadowsmiter attack this shield and have Oracle break another.”

Picking up her first yielded no results, but as she lifted the second, “I’ll use the [Shield Skill] of Storm Silver Compass, summoning him to the field and letting me search for another creature.”

Shit… What’s gonna help me the most here? Digging through her deck, she finally landed on a card she never used before.

“I’ll grab Sterben, Keeper of Fiction and put it in my hand.”

“Not bad.” Isaac crossed his arms. “Since you’re gonna be at 10 play points in two turns, I need to play a bit more aggressively.”

Sarah shuffled through her hand. “Shit. I have to do something about that field…” If it wasn't for her Ankleslicer, the Shadowsmiter would have knocked two of her shields out, leaving her with two instead of her current three. Plus, with Wielder also having [Double Strike], she would have been wiped out in no time.

She groaned loudly, nearly waking up the judge next to them, “I guess I have to do this. I cast Revolution Guillotine, destroying any number of creatures that have up to 9 attack points.”

That could be either his Shadowsmiter or Wielder plus his Oracle regardless. Both creatures had 5 and 7 attack, respectively. With her limit at 9, she could not get both.

“Alright, let’s get rid of the shittiest one. Get that Wielder and Oracle outta here!” Leaving him with just his giant robot card, Sarah continued, “That took all but one of my play points, so I’ll just start swingin’.”

Turning Scrapper and Ankleslicer sideways, she broke two of Isaac’s four shields. “Let’s do this, or else I’ll lose.” Pointing towards his last remaining creature, Sarah picked up Leilah and placed the card and Carbuncle underneath into her graveyard, signifying a crash since they both had 5 attack points.

Complying, Isaac drew his card and flipped 9 play points once again. “I’ll summon my Visitor from the Sixth Storm, destroying every creature on your side of the field.”

“Shiiiiit….” Well, there goes that easy win.

Costing nearly all of his resources, Isaac passed the turn back.

“You’ve been making this painful for me this whole time, y’know?”

Isaac shrugged once more, “A deal’s a deal, Weatherford. I hope you like donuts, we have them every morning before mass starts.”

Running her hand down her face, she grimaced, “Without any coffee? That sounds awful…”

“Tell me about it.” The judge joined in on the grimacing.

“Well, let’s see if I can finish this game… I’ll summon Sterben, Keeper of Fiction!” Turning over all 10 of her play points, she smiled on as Isaac took the top three cards of his deck and placed the rest in his graveyard. “Feels great when it’s not me!”

“I think you might have me Weatherford, but let’s play this out to make sure. I’ll break two shields with Visitor’s [Double Strike].” Flipping his creatures sideways, he waited until she confirmed no response. “Cool. Next, I’ll spend 5 play points to call forward my Strike Leader: Lebok, Platinum Compass Bearer.”

Flipping his Visitor right side up once more, he continued, “Lebok lets me attack again with a creature that attacked before, letting my Visitor destroy your last shield.”

Thank goodness [Double Strike] cards don’t just fucking kill you when they attack the last shield…

“Well, finish me off Weatherford.”

“Good game goth-boy. Maybe I’ll take you up on your offer on a later day.” Breaking her opponent’s two last shields with Sterben, she called forward her own Strike Leader to attack for the game.

“Yo bitch-girl! How’d you do on your round?” Ortelanus sat in the chair next to Jesse, the closest seat to the large window in the side room of the card shop, “You know your chatty friend said that guy is into you… Sexually.”

The exaggerated lean in at the end made the already tired Sarah consider dueling the two then and there.

“Isaac? I dunno, he looks like his blood stream was replaced with energy drinks.” Restraining her ‘ape-brain’ as she sat down, she was unsure how much longer she could hold out.

“I- I saw your game. You did really good, Sarah.” Jesse looked as if she had just woken up from a full night’s rest. Not a line of exhaustion dared grace her marble visage.

With a shrug, Sarah patted her lap for Carbuncle to jump on, “Thanks, I guess. How the fuck are you still not tired yet, Jess?”

The young girl took up her typical scarlet coloration, “Oh, you know… I’m used to spending all day working, so this is kinda normal for me.”

Looking at the clock, it was already nine. We’ve been here for 13 fucking hours… The few left in the room resembled the slow part of a zombie movie. Contestants and judges shambled slowly from place to place, barely able to lift their feet. And we still got more tomorrow.

“Hey Jess.” Sarah looked around the room and found no signs of the Jefferson twins. “Mind if I stay at your place tonight? It’d suck to drive back to the ranch in the middle of the night like this.”

That was the day mankind discovered a new shade of red.

Like a fountain spewing forth gallons of water, so too had this woman let loose a string of stammers and words that could convince a casual onlooker that she was speaking Tongues. In all fifteen languages she spoke, even Sarah could not comprehend a single word uttered from her mouth.

“Uh… You can just say ‘no’. It’s cool, I know we just met today.”

“N-no! I mean, yes! Yes, you can c-c-come o-over!”

Ortelanus hooked her arm around her stuttering cohort, “What she means is, ‘Yeah, come on over. I won’t make it weird or anything’.”

“Mmhmmm…” Sarah crossed her arms and nodded slowly.

“Attention everyone!” Mr. Montgomery stood before the board once more, freshly updated. With only a round before the semi-finals, only a few remained and those left were halfway asleep.

“It has come to my attention that-” He stopped and wiped his eyes, “Look, it’s late. I know we said semis and finals tomorrow, but let’s just do top 8 tomorrow in the morning and we should be done.”

With a few grunts of approval, the staggering crowd quickly found their second wind and rode it out of the store.

“You sure I can come over? Also, do you have coffee?”

Jesse continued her spider-tongue before nodding.

“Cool. Let me call my brother to let him know where I’m at and we’ll jet.”

The simple home sat within a labyrinth of similar builds. With the only variance consisting of maybe a garage door on this side and a metal lawn ornament there, the houses were largely the same.

“If I didn’t see Jesse go into one of them, I’d have no clue anyone fucking lived here.” Peeking behind houses to see if the veneer fell through, it felt as if she was in a prop neighborhood.

Stepping into the home, a tight foyer greeted her, graced with a faux crystal chandelier hanging above.

“C-come on in! Please leave your shoes by the door…”

Ortelanus took off her own heels before walking into the carpeted living room on their left, opposite of the staircase, and plopped right into a pleather couch set that took up half the room. “I’ll sleep right here, Sarah can take my bed.”

With Jesse taking up her mumble rapping again, Sarah shrugged, “If you got another room set up, I certainly wouldn’t mind that.”

“Sorry!” The entire group could feel Orty’s smug aura from behind the couch, “We just moved in, so Jess and I share a room. Unless you like sleeping in a room without any furniture, that’s all you’re getting!”

“Squeak?” Carbuncle chirped at Sarah’s feet.

“I think you’re good to crash wherever you want, little dude. Just don’t poop anywhere.”

“Ew! He poops?” The other ACE creature shouted from her obscured seat.

Sarah crossed her arms, “What, and you don’t?”

“Women don’t poop! Right Jess?”

For once, it looked as if the dark haired woman was about to pass out. Clasping her new friend’s shoulder, Sarah leaned in, “It must be exhausting having her as your partner. Mind showing me your room?”

A familiar dominatrix-ballerina greeted Sarah upon entry. Various wall tapestries and figurines adorning the room felt like she had just entered Jim and Tim’s room by accident. A desktop computer flashing a kaleidoscope of colors from both the main rig and the keyboard ran silently on a table holding three curved monitors. Stacks of video games and boxed movies were neatly filed within a bookshelf, also housing a number of scantily clad female figures with outrageous features. Both the bedsheets and curtains were plain blue, a farcry of normalcy within what can only be described as an ‘anime hell’.

“You, uh, you got quite the eccentric taste…” Sarah commented plainly.

“I- uh- I’ve never had… I’ve never had a girl come-”

Sarah stepped into the room, careful to avoid the gazes of the plastic women dotting the space, “Orty’s got a weird taste in decor, huh?”

“Y-yeah…” Jesse strode across the room and sat on the far bed, only a few feet from the other plain blue bed. “I- I’d never really be a fan of Mahou Shoujo Yuri Magica Arashi…”

Well that was a fuckin’ lie.

Sitting opposite to Jess, she crossed her legs and took a spot on the other bed, “So… How did you two meet?”

“M-me and Ortelanus?” Jesse stammered. After a nod from Sarah, she continued, “Well, I was working at a checkout for a pet supply store, and there was this weird old lady. Weirder than usual.

She had this look about her like she would start asking me for my manager, who had left for the day already, and she just wanted to buy some chewy bones. Well, she started talking to me about some weird places. Stuff about a big sea with a mountain jutting out of it, or a moving castle crawling across the land… I didn’t want to ask her to stop, even with a line forming behind her, so I just listened as everyone else went to the self-checkouts instead. I was the only clerk hired by the store in 20 years. Anyways, she- she kept going and finally asked me if I remembered everything she said. I- I said ‘yes’ and repeated everything back. She handed me Ortelanus’ card, saying stuff like, ‘this card is really special’, and ‘you look like you’re the perfect person for this card who really needs a friend’...”

“Huh… So you didn’t question her if it had anthrax or anything on it?”

After a breath, Jesse shook her head, “N-no? I think most normal people don’t just assume someone’s just gonna hand out anthrax to people on the street.”

“You never know! People are fucking weird.” Sarah started to undo her pigtails, “So you heard the voices at first, played a couple of duels, and out popped Orty?”

“Yeah…” Jesse pulled her legs closer into her, “At first, she was all a bluish ghost and kept teasing me, but she eventually calmed down. Especially after…”

Sarah slid one of her socks off and threw it on the floor, “After what?”

“After…” Jesse looked away and whispered something to herself.

Sarah reached behind her back and fiddled with something through her sweater, “After what? You gotta speak up Jess!”

Jesse turned bright red once more, still looking at the bookshelf, “After she turned me…”

“Turned you into a what?” Sliding her bra out from under her sweater, Sarah breathed a sigh of relief, “Is that her manifestation?”

“Y-yes… She- she turned me into a woman. I used- I used to be a guy…” Turning back to see Sarah holding her bra, Jesse’s eyes bugged out until the pressure built exploded into a stream of blood running down her nose, knocking her out for the night.