A man was sitting in a waiting room. He felt as though he had been there a while, but he didn’t remember how long. He looked around. It seemed like a normal waiting room, except no one else was there.
As his mind cleared he started to wonder, and worry.
“Sir? It’s time for your appointment.”
Confusion on his face, he stood up. Looking around he found a door, and walked towards it. His hand hesitated on the handle.
“Please go straight through sir.”
As he opened the door slowly, he kept himself hidden behind the door. Peeking in, he didn’t see anything amiss.
All he could see was a shabby desk in a small room, and in front of the desk was an empty chair, presumably for him.
His footsteps were cautious, he tested the floor for traps before advancing.
He gave the chair a few hesitant pats, before gingerly sitting down.
“Hello.”
His eyes widened. Suddenly, the area behind the desk that had been empty a moment before, now had an attractive woman sitting there. He looked at her for a bit, but as attractive as she was, he felt almost nothing, merely an echo of a feeling.
“Welcome to your job interview.” the woman folded her hands on the desk and gave him a small smile.
“Whaaa . . .” spilled out of his mouth.
“Ah, you’re mentally here. That’s good.” had she not blinked this entire time? No wait, she blinked just now.
“I am here to interview you to see if you’d be a good fit for this position. You've already passed the personality test. Now we should discuss the job. I will say, it would be a long-term position, and you’d be required to travel occasionally. And you’d be out of your comfort zone at first. However, I think the benefits would severely outweigh the disadvantages. Immortality, near invincibility, powerful and wondrous abilities.”
“Immortality?” His eyes moved more frequently.
“Ah, you’re awake. That’s good. Yes, immortality. In other words, you’d be a god.”
“Where am I? I don’t even know what I am doing here. I don’t remember how I got here, I . . .”
“Ah yes, that happens. The copying was successful, but the personality has finally begun to assert itself. So don’t worry.”
“Was I in an accident? Is this a hospital?” the man’s expressions changed, from confusion, to worry, to concern.
“Ah, well, it’s too late for a hospital. I’m afraid you have deceased.”
“I’m dead!?” He bolted upright. He looked around, squinting, he glared at everything. “But this is an office.” He placed his hand over his heart, “I don’t appreciate the joke.”
“Ah, I’m afraid that this isn’t a joke. You are well and truly deceased. If you want to be sure, then go ahead and look out the window.”
“Window? There’s no-” and a window was there, with closed beige horizontal blinds. His legs shivered. He struggled to produce a sound but his mouth simply gaped open.
He made his legs carry him to the newly appeared window. Slowly spreading the blinds, he peeked out, then gasped at what he saw.
A planet. A world, but not Earth. In fact, it looked bigger. As it rotated he saw towering mountains, vast oceans, great grassy plains, and many varying regions.
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“What is that?”
“That’s a planet. My planet.”
His head spun back towards the woman sitting behind the desk. “Yours?”
She nodded. “Yes, I’m the deity currently in charge of the planet.”
“Deity? You’re a god?”
“Yes, that’s another term. Look, there are quite a number of background mechanics, but at this point, it shouldn’t concern you.”
“Why not?”
“Because it won’t have any effect on you, until you reach a higher level. Until then, the only thing that will affect you are the current choices you have before you.”
The man slowly lowered himself into the chair, his weary legs trembled. “Like what?”
“Well first, are you going to accept this job offer?”
“And if I don’t?”
“Well, you are a copy, so if you don’t accept the job, you will simply be deleted.”
“Ah, so my original self is . . .”
“Well and truly dead. Yes.” she looked him straight in the eyes as she said this.
“Oh wow. How does that work?”
“Well, a probe is sent out to the candidates, and before you ask, in order to get there at the time of their death, the laws of space and time are . . . fiddled with. A scan is taken of the person within a certain diameter, and a personality test is conducted on the copy. If it passes, it is brought to my office, to actually give the entity a choice.”
“To work or die?”
“Yes. those two choices. After all, if I hadn’t stepped in you’d be nonexistent anyway, so why not simply return you to that state?”
“I guess. Wait, did you say ‘of a certain diameter’?” he was grinning suddenly.
“Yes. why?”
“If you did then you must have copied my e-book reader, and everything that was on it.”
“One moment.” a few twitches of her fingers later, “yes. I have it.”
“If I agree to work for you, can I have it?”
“I can’t give you the ebook reader, because it would stand out. However, I can give you the information it contained.”
“How?”
“I will essentially store it in your brain. Of course, I will need to make a few modifications to allow you to read them.”
“What about perfect memory? What about an editable memory?”
“Are you accepting the job?”
“If those are included, then yes.”
“Good. in that case we have a few things we’re going to have to do.”
“What?”
“Basically, we have to create your character.”
“Okay, so do I have to roll for strength or agility?”
The goddess smiled, and then, the montage began.
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And so it began. The man scribbled furiously, writing down everything he could think of. Every story he had read, every movie or TV show he had seen. Every half-baked power or ability he could think of. His goal was to become a Jack-of-all-trades.
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“Do you have spatial storage?”
“Yes.”
“I want a storage ring.”
“How does that work?”
“How would I know. Don’t you have that?”
“We have spatial storage, we have bags that can hold a much greater amount than what it appears. But not rings. How would that work? Would you be limited to things you could fit through the hole of the ring? What if you tried to put something in while you were wearing it? Would your finger disappear?”
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“No you can’t call yourself Cowabunga. Moldy Potato? What is wrong with your head?”
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“Does it have cats?” “Of course.”
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“So you want to be invincible, but also have invincible armor?”
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"No, you don't get to look like a young Roger Moore. Or Pierce Brosnan either."
"Keanu Reeves?"
"No."
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“Can I get the power of magnetism?”
“For your personality?”
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"So for a job, how about blacksmith, or alchemist?"
The goddess smiled. "It's a surprise."
"What?!"
"Don't worry, it'll be fine."
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"Spear" he said quickly.
"Really?"
"Yeah. If you're going to stab someone from a distance, it has to be a spear."
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"I've picked your elemental alignment."
"What is it?"
"Don't worry. It suits you."
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"Are you ready?"
the young man shrugged his new shoulders. "As I'll ever be."
"Very well. Dahe Feng Ji, I will be setting you down about five days away from the Flowing River Sect. You should use this time to adjust, and get suitably dirty."
"Dirty? why?"
"Because they won't believe you just walked through miles of forest if you're completely clean."
"oh."
"I will likely not need you for about ten to twenty years. So until that time comes, prepare yourself as well as possible."
"I will."
"Anything else you want to say?"
"Beam me up?"
The goddess smiled, and suddenly he was somewhere else.