The scout wasn’t getting better. Dose had been visiting him every couple days to check his wounds and change his bandages, but he’d just lost so much blood already. Each time she’d come out of the town hall she’d give Lamby a head-pat before joining us to cut wood, butcher a boar, or mine some more stone. The small amount of crimson on Dose’s hands slowly giving Lamby a pink hue.
Juan had been able to request more settlers and they’d been helping out too. We had Cuantro the singer, Sin Co. the business rep (We call him just Co. to mock him. He’s a dickhead.), and Simon (who we call says cause he always tries to tell you what to do).
“…I mean it’s just that do you think I got the name Simon because I am a Sime? Like the name Lamby is just like calling you a Humany—”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” Dose started screaming.
Juan sprinted over while Tracey cackled.
Juan cut in, “Says go fuck yourself, I was looking for someone to find a gold mine and it looks like I found my explorer”
Says paled, “You can’t be serious. Didn’t the scout go out looking before? And he barely came back alive! You should be the one going out aren’t YOU technically the leader?”
“There once was a boy named Says,
Who wanted to lead—nothing less,
But when came the hour,
He did naught but cower,
I saw him shit his pants I confess!” Sung Cuantro.
We all laughed as Says grumbled and walked away. Juan patted Dose’s head, “It’s alright you can stop screaming now”
Dose shuttered before looking at Juan, “No I’m fine, I just didn’t know how else to stop him talking” She started to massage her temples, “Are you really going to send him out like that?”
This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.
Juan sighed, “No I don’t think so. I mean the scout isn’t dead, just resting, but if need be, says is definitely on the short list.”
Tracey wandered up, “That was a great rhyme Cuantro,” she gave him a hi-five, “but Juan I hate to tell you, I don’t think we’ll be able to get him back to healthy,” Dose made a face, “—not that Dose and her herbal medicine aren’t brilliant. I mean who here can say Dose hasn’t sewn them up ?” Tracey looked around for effect, “But his wounds and blood loss. Pshhh. Dose is barely able to keep him stable, let alone conscious.”
Dose looked a little sad but nodded. Co spoke up, “I mean,” he padded his swine’s stomach of a thorax, “you could always try the poxes and potions we have over in the market. Just gotta give me something in return I guess,” He tucked his fingers into his belt loops, pretending the idea of payment had just occurred to him.
“Shut the fuck you Co you prolapsed meatus,” Co’s eyes bugged at Tracey’s newest insult, “I’d rather sleep with Juan then stop what we have going on here.”
Juan’s eyebrows popped, “so you’re saying there’s a chance?”
Tracey stuttered for a second, “No—I was jus—”
Juan shook his head, “Yeah you’re right, you probably couldn’t handle me anyways,” Dose and Cuantro started giggling as Juan said with a winning grin, “No ma’am. Tracey I’d blow your mind.”
Tracey turned a bright red, uncomfortable with being speechless for a change, “A-All I was saying was we should get a priest!” and stalked away.
Dose and Juan were wide-eyed. Cuantro looked at them and shook his head, questioning.
Juan replied, “Oh, it’s just that as long as we’ve known her,” he looked at Dose who returned the same shocked expression, “She’s never lost an argument!”
“Not about potatoes, not about the sky, not about laws. Nothing!” Dose added, “But even so she’s right. I can’t make the scout wake up. I can make sure he doesn’t die but that’s about it.”
They all sat for a second. “So why do we need a priest?” Said Co.
Dose rolled her eyes, “Well if you paid any attention to anything besides your margins, you’d know that they can give special blessings to heal, and better yet they do it for free.”
Co. rolled his eyes back, “Oh sure sky daddy is going to heal us? Without charging a tithe? Likely.”
Dose spat on his shoes, “Listen here you embodied gout toe, I didn’t say it made sense but they pray, it heals broken bones, you don’t believe it I’d be more than happy to perform some malpractice on you.” Dose had drawn her ax inadvertently, and she’d stood up over the lounging Co. Co was slack-jawed and started to mumble about “some affairs” he had to get to and crawled away.
Dose spoke, “fuck that gu—”
Juan joined her a second off, “FUCK that guy.”