The Black road, Eganene

She woke lying on the cot she claimed as her own, the light from the lantern tilting rhythmically as it splashed her pale hands with yellow. Her throat felt like someone had scrubbed the inside with a metal brush. She coughed roughly, wincing as she swallowed.

“You be awake!” Ceril whispered, sitting beside her and holding out a wooden cup. “Thirsty?” Her fine eyebrows were drawn, concern etching her face with new lines.

Bekka struggled to sit up; her chest hurt. The muscles along her neck were sore. This must be what whiplash feels like, she thought, using her hand to cup the back of her neck. Her skin was clammy, the hair behind her head sweaty and wet. “Yes, I…”

Everything felt slow, like her thoughts weren’t directly translated to her muscles. There was an extra pause in there, a second of space between when she thought something and when she actually moved.

Lenold appeared beside her. “Let me help you,” he said, wrapping his arm around her upper back and lifting her slowly. “You passed out. We were so worried.”

Bekka was grateful for his help and the warmth of his arm beneath his shirt. “Asthma attack,” she managed, taking the cup. Her mouth was parched. Her lips were dry, the flaky bits of skin pressing against her tongue as she licked them. She drank the water slowly, aware of how much it was going to hurt her stripped throat. It burned, but she did it anyway.

Lenold was staring at her, his eyes tracking her every move. “After we got you inside, you weren’t moving. I thought you stopped breathing.” He took a breath of his own, as if trying to compose himself. He looked at her with unease. “I didn’t know what to do. You started choking, and then you passed out. I thought you were dead, Bekka. I even said as much.”

“I…” she croaked.

He continued into her silence, “But Kat felt your breath against her hand and could hear your heart beat.” He glanced up at the bunk above Bekka’s head, putting his finger to his lips. “She’s asleep now.”

He must have been truly worried, she thought. He still had chips of wood and dirt flecking his shirt. It looked like he hadn’t taken the time to straighten himself after they came back inside the cabin.

“I’m all right.” She took a few more sips of water. “It was an asthma attack.” While it still hurt to talk, at least her words were coming out clearly. “I’m a little shaky, but I’ll be OK.”

Neither of the kids seemed convinced. “Look at your hands, girl,” Ceril said, pointing.

Bekka handed her the cup over and looked down, her eyes widening in surprise. Her fingernails were blue, the half-moons dark against her white fingers. That’s not right, she thought.

“You must take care of yourself,” the voice agreed.

Bekka ignored it, twisting her fingers this way and that. Every single one of her fingernails was a bruised blue color, the pads of her fingers were tingling like her hands had fallen asleep. Her doctor had mentioned something about it once, but she hadn’t had to worry about it before. She looked up at the kids, “No one had an inhaler?”

“A what?” Ceril asked.

“Medicine. An inhaler? No one has one?”

Ceril shook her head. Pitching her voice low, she said, “None of we be knowing any of that.”

Bekka tried to figure out what she was saying. Knowing any of what? How to use the inhaler? Or did they not have one at all? And why did Ceril sound like using it was doing something wrong?

“What’s an ass-mar attack?” Lenold asked, sitting down across. He pronounced the word wrong, his tongue stumbling over the syllables.

Bekka took a deep breath. She didn’t want to explain it, but she could see he was worried. He kept ringing his hands together, his chin tucked in towards his chest.

“You’ve really never heard of an asthma attack?” she asked.

He shook his head.

She didn’t think he was messing with her. He looked too concerned to be cruel. And he’d helped carry her to the carriage. It didn’t make sense for him to be mean, every interaction she’d with him had been good. But if he wasn’t messing with her, then he believed the things he was telling her. And Ceril had said the same things, had told her that they were headed to Orlenia to be sold. They both believed what they were saying. Bekka started shaking again, the muscles in her back and neck seizing.

Ceril put an arm around her shoulders, drawing her in, “Shh, now, girl. It be all right.”

Bekka leaned in. It felt good to sit beside someone, to hear them tell her it was going to be OK. The only problem was, it wasn’t true.

“She tells the truth. Listen to her, Bekka,” the voice declared.

“Who are you?” Bekka replied, surprised that the voice had used her name.

Ceril pulled back, holding her at shoulder length and looking into her eyes. Bekka felt the need to blink, but didn’t look away. She should never have spoken to the voice in her head, not in front of anyone else. Now that she had, she was terrified Ceril was going to find out her secret, find out she was crazy.

“You sure you be feeling well, girl?” Ceril asked, gazing into Bekka’s green eyes.

“Sorry. I’m still not a hundred percent,” she started, the words tumbling out one after another. “My throat tightened back at the clearing. It happens sometimes when I get upset.” She glanced up at them, “And, well, it’s kinda disgusting, but my airway gets inflamed and makes mucus, and then I can’t breathe.”

Now, they were both looking at her strangely. She couldn’t help feeling embarrassed. It wasn’t something she liked to talk about. It made her feel weak and vulnerable, and it was gross. She hoped they wouldn’t ask her any more questions.

“Do you know who I be?” Ceril asked.

Bekka nodded, “I know you, Ceril. And, Lenold, I know you, too. I’m not crazy or anything. Really, I’m fine. I just need to rest.”

Ceril leaned closer, “So you are OK, now? How do you know?” She put the back of her hand against Bekka’s forehead.

“I’ll be fine. Really. I just need some sleep.”

“Tell her,” the voice advised, but Bekka ignored it.

“Thanks be to the gods,” Ceril breathed. “I be worried you be confused. Maybe something happened in your head. You be saying some strange things.”

Bekka made herself smile. “No, no, I’m good. I get sick sometimes, and then I can’t breathe.”

Ceril wouldn’t let her out of the conversation. “That not be the only time. You be saying strange things other times, too.”

Bekka swallowed. How was she supposed to explain the fact that she wasn’t from this place? That she didn’t even know where “this” place was? What was she supposed to say? That she was from another planet? Was she from another planet?

The voice sounded excited, “No, dear. Not another planet. Ask the girl.”

“Where are we, Ceril? If this isn’t Philly or near Philly, where are we?”

Both Lenold and Ceril were silent. Bekka could hear the sound of the wooden sled-legs against the snow, the snort of a horse, but nothing else. She bit her lip and stared back, willing them to say something, to explain to her what was going on. If this was some elaborate, messed-up plot to confuse her, then they had succeeded. She didn’t know up from down. She didn’t know where she was, even what country she was in. How was she riding around in an enormous horse drawn carriage without anyone saying a thing? And where the hell was everybody?

There had to be a reasonable explanation, but the only thing she kept coming back to was that they were right, that Ceril and Lenold and Tonelle were all telling her the truth. She wasn’t in Philly or near Philly, she was in some other place.

Had it even been her apartment that exploded? What if that hadn’t been her apartment at all, but just some other place that looked like her home? She bit her lip again, trying not to scream. How could this be happening? How could she be somewhere that looked so much like home, but wasn’t?

All she had was questions and it looked like there weren’t any answers. Ceril and Lenold were still looking at her, concern and confusion covering their faces. She stuck her hand in her pocket, searching for her pendant. That, at least, was hers. It was a gift from her mother, the only thing of value that she had and the only thing connecting her back to her family, back to reality. She looked down. She must have the wrong pocket.

Quickly, she searched. The dress had at least eight pockets, she must have moved it to a different one. Nothing, and again, nothing. Where was it? She forgot about her neck, her aching chest and back muscles and turned around, searching the bed. If it wasn’t in her pockets, then she must have lost it in her mattress. She was so careful…

“Did you lose something?” Ceril asked, tapping her on the shoulder.

Bekka felt a wave of panic. What was she supposed to do? Did she admit to having lost the necklace? It was gold, with a huge, green gem in the middle. If Tonelle or anyone else knew she had it, they would take it from her. She looked up at Ceril and Lenold’s faces. Why would she think they would steal it from her? If anything, these two had been acting like friends. She thought about it carefully, sitting motionless on her cot.

They had been kind to her. Sure, they were quiet and reticent, but she couldn’t blame them for that. Tonelle was a threat. They thought they were helpless here. They thought she was piece of property. No, she thought. They wouldn’t take her things. They had helped and cared for her. She took a deep breath. Her necklace wasn’t in her dress and it wasn’t in her bunk. If she was going to find it, she needed some help. She needed to ask her friends.

“Yes.”

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She ignored the voice, “I…I need to tell you guys something.”

Lenold leaned forward, his knee and thigh resting against hers. It was an intimate gesture, a comfortable one. That was how she had been with Wyatt. They had been in each other’s spaces, but not a threat, not strange. It felt good to be around other people again. She hoped she wasn’t wrong.

Resting her elbows against her knees, she gestured for Ceril and Lenold to come down closer. They did as she suggested, putting their faces beside hers. “I…” she started, “I had something…I know I told you I didn’t, Ceril, but I didn’t know you yet, and I was scared. I…I’m sorry I lied. I really am.”

Ceril patted her leg, “You do not be worrying about this. You be new.”

“Anyway,” Bekka continued, “I had something when Billy took me. Something precious to me. It is a piece of jewelry, a necklace. I…didn’t want them to take it from me. It is…well, it is the only thing I have from my mother.”

“That’s not true,” the voice disagreed.

“It is, too,” Bekka finished. “I didn’t know her at all. She died when I was little. And that necklace is everything I have.”

Lenold was shaking his head. “It’s hard to hide things from Tonelle.”

“I know,” Bekka continued, “but I didn’t have a choice. I can’t lose that necklace. I just can’t. But, I think I did…I can’t find it in my pocket or in the cot.”

Ceril raised an eyebrow. “Your mother be someone special, girl. My mother never had anything so fine.” She took Bekka’s hand and dropped something cold and metal into her open palm.

Her necklace! Bekka felt her heart skip a beat. She grasped Ceril in a hug, squeezing the thin girl as hard as she could. “Oh my god, Ceril!” she whispered. “You don’t know how important this is!”

Ceril hugged her back. Her arms were pinned to her side, but she still managed to put her hands against Bekka’s side. “You be lucky, girl. I saw it fall from your pocket when you be sick.” She was whispering, her breath a gentle flutter against Bekka’s face. “You fell in the snow, outside, and when I checked on you, I saw it.”

“Oh, thank you, Ceril,” Bekka said, softly. “I…I really don’t think I could have handled losing it.”

The girl nodded, her smooth cheek rubbing against Bekka’s own, “I understand. I be missing my mother, too.”

“I do, too,” Lenold confided.

Bekka dropped her arms and looked at him. “Did you know about the necklace?”

“No, but I saw Ceril pick something up.”

“You won’t tell, will you?” Bekka asked.

He was shaking his head. “Of course not. Your secret’s safe with me.”

She grabbed each of their hands, “Thank you both… I…”

Just then Kat leaned down from the bunk above, her long hair falling against Ceril’s back. “What are you doing?” she hissed at no one in particular.

Ceril brushed the braids off and stood up in the walkway, her feet wide, swaying. She didn’t seem angry, but her narrowed eyes were on Kat. “What you be wanting?” she asked, her tone respectful.

“You need to sleep. Enough talking. The girl is fine,” her words were clipped.

Had she heard them? Bekka wondered. If she had, she would have said something, right? Kat wouldn’t keep quiet about hiding something from Tonelle. If she had heard them talking, then that was it. Her necklace was as good as gone. But Kat didn’t say anything about it. Maybe they had been discreet enough, maybe. Bekka brushed a hand down the side of her head, absently trying to smooth her hair. In her other hand, she had the necklace, hidden beneath her fingers.

“She be sick…” Ceril was saying, pointing at Bekka.

“I know,” was all the dark-skinned girl replied.

Bekka couldn’t help staring. Kat’s eyes seemed to glow in the candlelight, the bright gold color more pronounced in the darkness of the cabin. She had high cheekbones and a wide, smooth forehead. In Bekka’s world, she would have been pretty enough to be on the cover of one of those teen girl magazines.

It bothered her that Kat was being rude to Ceril. She never talked to them, not unless she was bossing them around. Why couldn’t she just mind her own business? It wasn’t like they were doing anything wrong. She knew how sick she had been. Ceril and Lenold were just being kind, they didn’t deserve the attitude.

“Come on, Lenold,” Ceril replied, surprising Bekka. “Kat be, right. It be late and there be a lot to do when it be safe enough to stop.”

“Safe?” Bekka asked, confused. “Why isn’t it safe?”

Lenold ignored Kat’s expression and leaned closer, “You were inside when it happened.”

“What?” she asked. What was he talking about?

“One of the horses was taken. By the monster. It ripped it right out of the straps.” He shuddered, the whites of his eyes bright, “I hadn’t seen one of them before.”

Kat slipped off the edge of the bed. “You need to get back in bed. Don’t scare the girl.”

Bekka forgot about her throat for a moment, the image of a dark beast perched in the woods flashing into her mind. She had seen the creature! It had been at the edge of the tree line watching them. She remembered her head bouncing, being unable to look up and focus. Kat had held her head up for a bit, but then they had run and her view of the world had been reduced to seconds long flickers of snow, darkness and firelight.

It couldn’t have been a monster, she thought, rejecting Kat’s words. What would have taken a horse? Maybe a bear? Some kind of lion? But that didn’t make sense either. She had seen the thing herself, if only for a moment.

Kat was still speaking, “We were lucky there was only one. The horse will be enough for now. It probably won’t chase us.”

“But I thought they hunted in packs,” Lenold said, fear making his voice tremble.

“They do,” Kat replied. “But I think this one was a scout. There would have been more of them otherwise.” She lowered her voice, her eyes unfocused, “We saw them on the last trip. There were three or four, I think.”

“What happened?”

“They attacked at night,” the dark girl answered. “We lost three children. Tonelle and Martin were very angry, but there was nothing we could do. You can’t track them in the night sky. They disappear.”

“And the kids?”

Kat shook her head, her braids clicking, “Gone.”

Jaks came up behind Ceril and took her hand, “Come back to bed. There’s no reason to listen to this. It will only give you nightmares.”

“Those children…” Ceril said, letting him lead her back to the rear of the cabin. “That be terrible.”

Lenold’s eyes were on Kat, “You really think there was only one?” He looked younger, his eyes wide and haunted.

Kat pointed up to his bunk. “Go to bed, Lenold. I only saw one. If there were more, we would have known it.”

“What if it does follow us?” he asked, doing what she told him.

Kat shrugged and climbed into her own bunk. “I don’t think it will, but there’s no way to know. I think Tonelle will find a caravan for us to ride with. It’ll cost her nos, but I think she’ll be ready to spend it. That horse alone will be expensive to replace.”

Bekka found her voice, “What’s a caravan?”

Surprisingly, Kat answered, “Other traders. The group travels together, with armed escort. Go to bed. No more talk.”

Bekka burrowed beneath her sheet, thinking of the creature. It had been real! Not just a figment of her imagination, not something she hallucinated because she was unable to breathe. When she closed her eyes, she could see its leathery, black skin shining in the firelight. She shuddered. It had been hunting them. That was what it had been doing on top of the tree. It had been deciding which of them to kill.

“Kat?” she whispered. “Are you awake?”

The girl didn’t reply. Bekka turned her back to the walkway, pressing her face against the boards of the carriage. Between the slates, cold wind seeped inward. Usually, she hated it, padding the cracks with whatever cloth or material she could find. Tonight, though, it felt refreshing, like she was splashing her face with water. “Lenold?” she called, softly.

“Sleep, now,” Kat ordered. “No more talking.”

She wasn’t about to defy Kat. Not right now. Bekka stared at the lantern, waiting for sleep. She counted sheep and numbers, trying not to think about the beast. It took a long time, her mind had a lot to process, but eventually she fell asleep.

At first the dream scared her. She woke frightened, unsettled by the images. It was the strangest dream, the images from a different time. They turned her sleep into a jumble of pictures as she tossed and turned. The dreams, themselves, were not all bad. It was the format that bothered her.

Her mother and father were in them, young and alive. Even her grandmother was there, a hardly recognizable beauty with flashing blue eyes and stately manner. It was weird to see them like that, young and healthy. Even stranger was the content of the dream.

Bekka had always had fairly normal dreams that played like short movies where she was the star. In this dream, she only watched. The people, her mother, father and grandmother, when they spoke, they said soundless words. Sometimes, she only saw faces, images that swirled about her, too fast to pick out details. Colors raced by, green and gold, lights and candles, but always there was pink. It was the hue of a dying sunset, covering everything, always present. It was warm, comfortable, wrapping the dream in a pink blanket of light that made her feel secure.

And sometimes Bekka saw more. Faces she did not recognize sprang to life as she slept, speaking to her, telling her things she did not know. It was she they were talking to, but not Bekka, not the girl asleep in a rocking, tilting carriage. It was someone else, someone through whose eyes she saw on that dark night as the children slept soundly.

She woke with a start. It was already day, the light peeking through the cracks in the boards. She glanced up at Kat’s bunk, wanting to wake Lenold but worrying what Kat would say.

What a strange dream! Her parents had been so young! And her grandmother, she’d never even seen a picture of her at that age. What party were they at? Who were all those people?

Lenold was the next person up. When he saw she was awake, he came and sat with her. “You feeling OK this morning?”

She nodded, “Yeah.” Her voice was still rough, but a lot better than last night.

“You look tired.”

“I didn’t sleep well,” she admitted, pulling her long, greasy hair back into a ponytail. “I was having these weird dreams about my family.”

“I have those dreams, too.”

“No, it wasn’t a normal dream. I kept seeing my parents when they were young. But the thing is, I don’t have any pictures of them from that time. I saw my grandmother, too. I almost didn’t recognize her. There was this beautiful party with lots of candlelight and even though I’ve never been there before, everything was super clear. Like I was watching it in HD.”

Lenold scrubbed at the sand in his eyes. “What’s HD?”

Bekka sighed, “Never mind. It was just weird. I kept tossing and turning.”

“Don’t worry. I think you’re going to have a lot of time to sleep.”

“No doubt,” Bekka muttered. “How can the horses keep pulling us?”

Lenold shrugged. “I’m sure it’s hard on them, but they probably want to get away from the monster."

Bekka grabbed his hand. “Come on, Lenold. Tell me the truth. What was it?”

He didn’t take his hand away, “A beast. That’s all I know. We didn’t have them in the cities.”

“But you saw it?”

He nodded, “I wish I hadn’t. I dreamt about it last night. I didn’t see it take the horse, but I heard it. I’ve never heard a horse scream like that.” He shuddered, “It sounded like a person, Bekka. It screamed like a person.”

After that, Lenold returned to his bunk, preferring silence to her questions. She couldn’t really blame him. She didn’t want to think about it either. It was another few hours before they heard the whistle signal a halt. In a flash of sunlight, Tonelle threw open the door. She didn’t waste any time, “Kat, we’re not stopping for long. You girls stay in a group in the woods. I don’t want anyone alone.”

“Yes, ma’am,” the golden-eyed girl replied. “Have you seen it again?”

The older woman shook her head, her heavy braid jerking behind her. “No sign, but we’re going to keep moving. Going to get to the Weivil’s Inn as quick as we can. Bring back wood for a fire when you’re done with your business. We only have time for tea.”

Her eyes fell on Bekka. She did not look pleased. Her thick lips opened once as if she was going to say something, but then she closed them and turned her back. Her heavy footfalls rang against the floor.

Bekka shuddered. Tonelle was definitely angry with her.

Ceril jumped out of the carriage. Bekka followed, grateful to be using her legs. After lying in bed for so long, she was sore. Her chest muscles still ached. She made it a point to square her shoulders and draw air softly into her lungs. The cold, winter breeze stung her, making the lining of her lungs sparkle with pain.

Why was Tonelle angry with her? Had she said something when she was sick? Insulted her? She wanted to ask Ceril, but the wispy girl had given her a look. She clearly didn’t want to talk with Kat around.

Kat was leading their group. Her shoulders set and her beads clicking along behind her. The snow wasn’t deep here, but Bekka tried to walk in her footprints. Kat took them past both of the carriages. They horses weren’t holding their necks up high anymore, instead, they were bent over panting.

On the way back, Bekka looked for Tonelle’s children, the ones she had seen shivering beneath the blanket on Martin’s carriage. No one, not that she was surprised. Tonelle was keeping them inside, away from danger. “She must really be worried,” Bekka said as they climbed back into their carriage.

Ceril was already inside, placing her shoes neatly on the rug beside the door, “I be thinking so. Woman doesn’t want to be losing her children, nor her merchandise. She be out a lot for that horse. I know she not be happy.”

Lenold followed Bekka up the steps. “They’re not happy about you being sick either.”

She looked at him in surprise, “I’m not sick.”

“Don’t tell me you forgot about fainting.”

Bekka shook her head. “It was just an asthma attack.”

Lenold climbed into his bunk. “I don’t think they ever heard of that ailment. I heard Martin saying something about being angry with Billy for having sold you to them. They’re probably worried about how much they can get for you.” He peered down at her. “You should probably try and impress them. I heard it helps with the auctions. Helps them find you someone good.”

Bekka grimaced and climbed beneath her own blanket. What was she supposed to say to that? She couldn’t disagree with him. There was a sharp whistle and they started moving again. The steady rocking motion was now familiar. If they didn’t want her anymore, would they sell her to someone else?

She shivered, seeing Billy’s twisted face. She didn’t want to be a captive at all, but… She couldn’t believe she was even thinking it-- better the devil she knew.