TO HELL AND BACK AND BEYOND

PART I.

Way Across town death was about to receive a visitor. Across town, past the tracks, and beyond reason, there was an angry, dejected father of one. His son a feisty, curious firebrand once again had a question that was over and above his father’s limited sense of what is and what could be.

As was the case, the father was insecure and insensitive to his son’s inherent thirst and hunger for knowledge and understanding of the world at large and the microcosm of the doublewide in which they lived.

This time the son caught his father on a bad day and asked a very good question on the worst day possible. The father had just come from the Doctor’s office. The father’s free-floating hostility was even more palpable than usual. He was not prepared today to answer any questions, especially the one Nick, his son, was about to ask.

“Dad?”

“Yes, Nick, what is it now? I just walked in the door,” said the father exasperated.

“Never mind” Nick mumbled as he walked away dejected.

“Come on, go ahead and ask your question. You won’t leave me alone until you do.”

“Ok, I want to know where we go… uh, when we die.”

“Death!” the father shouted. “You want to know where we go when we die. Heaven or Hell, you mean?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Nick stammered,

“I don’t know I never really thought about it all that much Nick, but I will let you know when I get there.”

“Uh?” Nick shot back. “What do you mean?” Now stepping back as he stared at his father.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you. I am sorry. I have not been feeling well lately. A year ago, I went to the Doctor and he ran some tests and found out that I had throat cancer. He said that I would be all right if I came in once a month and had my throat scraped.”

“Well, did you do what he told you?” Nick pleaded.

“No, I could never find the time. Working double shifts and taking care of you, driving you to school and back and forth to the cemetery, I could never find the time.”

“What, it’s my fought!” Yelled Nick.

“That’s not what I am saying. Just that I could never find the time.”

“The doctor probably told you to stop smoking cigarettes too I bet!”

“Yeah, that is part of it Nick, but I have tried. You know that. Especially after your mother’s passing.” The father said imploringly.

“Well, you fell asleep smoking burnt the house down, and killed my mother. You think you could have given up smoking. But, you can’t because you are weak, and you killed my mother!”

The words had barely left Nick’s mouth as the father slapped him across the face. Standing there, Nick stared into and through his father’s eyes.

“I have two months to live.” The father stated coldly and matter-of-factly.

As Nick stood there as still as the grave the events of that fateful day flashed across his mind’s eye.  

He awoke to sirens that pierced the veil of sleep as red and white lights flooded his room that blinded him as he sat up in bed as shielded his eyes with his arm.

He ran to his bedroom door, but the doorknob was a scorching fireball in his hand.

“MOM, DAD!” Nick screamed out, but there was no answer.

Nick continued to scream for help as he pounded on the door, but still nothing. He scrambled around his room trying to think of what to do. He had an idea. “But, will I fit?” he thought.

He raced into his bathroom and opened the door to his laundry shoot and launched himself down the narrow cavity. He hit the basement floor with a thud as he came to rest in a pile of his clothes.

Getting the sprinted up the cellar steps through the door and into the living room where he found his Dad asleep on the couch with a wall of flame surrounding him.

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Without thinking about the blaze Nick bolted to his Dad and began to shake him the entire time wondering if he was dead or alive. As he was about to give up hope his Dad shot bolt upright and began to cough and then wheeze.

“Where is your Mother?” his Dad asked, as he stood up and feverishly looked around.

“Mom” Nick whispered to himself. “Mom, Mom where are you?” now yelling as he darted up the stairs to his parent’s room, paying no attention to the flames as the house and everything in it began to incinerate.

Nick was able to reach the bedroom with his Dad behind him. He began to wildly bang on the door when again the doorknob was too hot to touch but he tried anyhow then as he fell to the floor in pain clutching his hand his Dad braced himself and kicked the door in.

They both ran into the room and towards the bed where his mother was asleep. His Dad picked her up in his arms then they retreated toward the door, but they were blocked by a wall flame.

Standing there with no other way to leave but through the fiery hell before them, Nick raced to the bed pulled off the blanket, and plunged it into the aquarium on the dresser by the window in the corner of the room not yet consumed by the fire.

He threw the wet blanket over his parents and made sure that his mother was completely covered.

“Ok dad, I will walk behind you and tell you where to go and turn. So we can get out of here. Ok?”

“Ok, Nick. Let’s hurry!”

“You got it. Start walking.”

Nick’s father with his wife in his arms began to walk forward. It was about six feet until he reached the door. The heat was unbearable, but the wet blanket kept them both from being burned.

“Dad, I am right behind you. Now I want you to make a right and continue until I tell you to stop. We are going to go down the back steps to the kitchen and then out the backdoor.”

Nick’s father walked briskly but cautiously to the end of the hall and then paused when instructed.

“Dad, it looks like the fire is not as bad in this part of the house. I am going to guide you down the steps. Got it?”

“Got it. Go ahead.” His Dad said as he began to cough.

‘There are six steps down to the landing, walk straight down then stop, turn left then another six steps. Then the backdoor is on the right. When we get to the kitchen, I will sneak around you and open the door. After that three steps to the backyard. Ok, let's go”

Nick’s dad began his descent stopping at the landing he almost dropped Rhea Nick’s mom but was able to catch her and get his balance and a better hold on her as he continued down the steps. When he reached the kitchen Nick shot passed him opened the door and helped his father out of the house as they got far enough away from the house, they both lowered Rhea to the ground to rest on the blanket.

As they set her down the ambulance and the firetrucks pulled up and began to get to work putting out the fire. The ambulance crew raced to Rhea and began to try and resuscitate her.

“Stand back, please!” stated the EMT as he and his partner did their best to save Rhea’s life. As one gave her mouth to mouth the other monitored her vital signs. “She is not responding.” Shouted the one doing the monitoring as the other reached for the reverberator and began to apply lube to the paddles as the other turned it on and shouted – “Clear!”

As they continued to shock Rhea back to life turning up the juice again and again. “Clear!” and again, “Clear!”

Nick on all fours staring at his mother’s motionless body began to pray “Please God, don’t let her die. I love her so much. I will do whatever you want. If you just let her live.”

Nick’s father began to anxiously pace back and forth. As he did he reached into his pants pocket and retrieved a pack of cigarettes and quickly lit one up and inhaled deeply then began to violently cough.

Nick saw his father bending over unable to catch his breath stood up and raced at him like a bull knocking him to the ground.

The EMTs exhausted all hope and resources trying to revive Rhea finally called – “Time of death?” the other answering “Midnight.” Quickly and without effort, they both put Rhea on a stretcher and began to make their way back to the ambulance as their father and son victims began to wrestle on the ground.

“Mom!” Nick screamed as he got up and ran toward the ambulance and its crew.

“Sorry Son, “said the EMT “she didn’t make it.”

As the ambulance sped off Nick walked back to the spot where his father was convulsing on the ground.

“You did this!” You fell asleep smoking again. But this time you didn’t just burn a pillow or the rug, you killed my mother. You burned our home down. You killed my mother! I hate you! I wish it was you who died. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you!”

Nick shook to his core his life turned upside down and ran as fast as he could into the woods behind his house until he collapsed exhausted and broken-hearted.

 “Two months to live?” Nick asked, standing there looking at his father with a look of desperation.

“Yes, son.” Nick’s father whispered consolingly

Nick stepped toward his father and looked deep into his eyes and into his soul as he passed him and walked out the door and down the driveway. When he reached the mailbox he started to run. Then he began to sprint running faster as if his life depended on it. He needed to go back into the dark wood behind his house and disappear but he had to do something first.

Nick running as if the devil was on his tail ran beneath the stone arch at the entrance to the town cemetery found his mother’s grave sight and crashed passed out from exhaustion and despair. As he fell into a deep sleep he heard in the distance a red-tail hawk screech as it circled high above him.

As he lay there his consciousness seeped out of his body and into the ground beneath him. His being projected downwards seeking and searching for remnants of his mother. Nick was spent he did not want to live in this world anymore without her. The rage and hatred he had for his father were palpable. Which conflicted with a removed sense of sympathy he felt for him as well.

Nick was dreaming all this as he lay face down in the dirt and grass. His head resting on a bouquet of Lillie's he had left there the day before. In his musings, he found himself in a vault deep within the earth beneath her grave. There was a door on the other side of the room with a dim light of a torch that cast shadows on the Floor of the flame which danced about the earthen pathway. Cautiously he approached the threshold to see what lay beyond. As he came closer he could hear a faint sound of music and humming.

Through the gate of the passageway, he could see a woman dressed in a white tunic sitting on a marble bench playing the lyre. Tentatively he entered the chamber and made his way toward the women. As he came closer the woman appeared to resemble his mother but not exactly the way he remembered her.

“Mom?” is that you, Nick asked as he continued to approach her.

“Yes, and No, Nick” the woman stated as he turned to face him, staying playing the lyre.

“You know my name?” Nicked asked now standing before the mysterious woman with Violet colored eyes as she continued to strum and hum to herself.

“Why yes, I do.” She added as she put the handheld down on the bench beside as she stood before Nick and gazed into his eyes. “I am your mother and the mother of all mothers, my name is Charis.” Saying that she put her hands on his shoulders and looked at him as only a mother can. “Walk with me, Nick.”

Charis turned and began to walk towards another corridor in the opposite direction from the one Nick entered. Nick reluctantly walked behind her as he followed her into an adjoining room. As they entered Nick was taken back by the size of the room more of a hall. The size - width, height, and high ceilings of the space were breathtaking to Nick. There were white marble columns that appeared to disappear into the vast expanse above. The floors were the same white marble that glistened and shimmered from a brilliant white light from above.

Nick continued to follow her as she walked as he scanned the entire space wanting to take all that he could. Everywhere he looked there were statues and fountains and little gardens and plants that populated the environment. He was dumb-struck as he followed her to the steps of a Dias as Charis continued to walk up the steps then turned and sat on a colossal throne made of the same white marble that had a set of wings that reached toward the firmament above them. She looked like a snowy owl perched there in her royal seat radiating a beauty that filled the room and engulfed Nick’s attention as he stood there before her.

“Is this heaven?” he asked, as he took a deep breath and looked up at the Majesty and elegance of the woman named Charis.

“No Nick. It is not.”

“What then, if not heaven? Am I dreaming? Am I dead?”

“Neither my dear Nick. This is a place outside of time and space. Beyond the world of dreams and reckoning. It is not a place, it is not or a where. Let us just call it Bliss. A state of being. Free from worry. Free from and of fear. A pure state of love, peace, and understanding. A place is of light devoid of darkness and despair. A place of truth and understanding.”