The music from the organ was soft and mellow. The funeral home smelled of lavender and chamomile from the many flower arrangements throughout the chapel. Though the room was filled to capacity, there was a general hush throughout the room as the preacher stepped up to the pulpit.

“The Book of Second Corinthians teaches us that ‘For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.’ Nature has its seasons but death can come to anyone, at any time, and in any place. Even under the best of circumstances, death is difficult for all of us to accept...”

His words were drowned out by my thoughts. What had started as an evening visit to the hospital had quickly turned into a week of funeral preparations. Everyone in the family had turned into an absolute wreck upon learning of Emma’s untimely death, and I suddenly found myself directing and coordinating the entire funeral. This past week had been so busy that I’d gotten absolutely no time to mourn. Now that the actual funeral was proceeding as scheduled, a flood of feelings began to hit me at full force.

After the sermon, my little seven-year-old niece stood at the pulpit and began to sing the Patti Loveless song I had helped her rehearse. My first tear that entire week finally shed as I watched her sing each verse courageously. Just as I had taught her, she slowed the rhythm during the last set of verses:

♪ Sitting with Mama alone in her bedroom

She opened her eyes, and then squeezed my hand

She said, I have to go now, my time here is over

And with her final word, she tried to help me understand

Mama whispered softly, Time will ease your pain

Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same

And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye

It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry

Come, let me hold you and I will try

How can I help you to say goodbye

How can I help you to say goodbye ♪

Tears coursed down my cheeks as I watched my sweet little niece step down from the pulpit. As she walked down the aisle, her last syllable seemed to echo and reverberate throughout the room. I opened my arms, and she accepted my embrace as she sat in the spot I had saved between me and her father.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

She held on tightly as the final prayer was offered. I was surprised how quickly we had bonded, considering we had only officially met a week ago. Alice had brought her over to my parent’s house the morning after I arrived. Sadly, the little girl was confused at first and thought that I was her deceased mother.

Later that afternoon as little Anna lay asleep in my lap, Alice began to explain to me the events that had led up to Emma’s death. I learned that she had been suffering for many years with anorexia, and her doctors even suspected that she may have been suffering from it as far back as our teenage years. At the time there weren’t many studies available, so the condition wasn’t diagnosed until only a year ago.

Alice then explained that Emma almost died while giving birth to Anna, and underwent surgery for a hysterectomy shortly after the birth due to several complications. She then fell into a deep post-partum depression due to her inability to bear any more children. Despite all of the medications she had been prescribed, she was never the same energetic Emma that she was known for in high school.

She then tried to pursue her dreams of becoming a model, but no agency would take her because her abdomen had been scarred from pregnancy stretch marks, the emergency cesarean section, and from the subsequent hysterectomy. She became absolutely obsessed with getting her slender figure back, but her hips had widened from the pregnancy. She remained undeterred, and ate as minimally as possible. That’s when the blackouts started.

It was at this point that Alice became more involved in their lives. Anna had many sleepovers with her great aunt Alice while Emma received hydration in the hospital on numerous occasions. As the years passed, Alice insisted that Emma should receive psychological treatment but Robert refused. He was absolutely convinced that psychologists were all just a bunch of ‘quacks’.

Eventually the blackouts had become so frequent that Robert finally consented to allow treatment. It was at this point that she was finally diagnosed. Regardless however, the condition was still very misunderstood. She was prescribed several anti-anxiety medications to go along with her anti-depressants and was sent on her way. The hospitalizations continued, and then about a week before her death she contracted a staph infection during her most recent hospital stay. The staph infection was declared as the ultimate cause of death.

My attention snapped back as everyone stood. Robert squeezed past me, and headed toward the front of the chapel along with several other men. I helped Anna to her feet, and we stood in silence as her father and all of the other pallbearers gripped the handles on the casket. The side chapel doors were opened, and together Anna and I led the procession behind them.