> To be continued: Target word count for prologue (1,500)
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"An alleyway. One that only appears to those who have truly given up on trying to live a normal life. It only appears when you were looking for it. Truly a mystery of the senses. However, lo and behold - here you are."
"When you wish to talk about staying, come and see me. Otherwise pay no mind or hede to my being here, I'm merely a bystander. I'm not against helping you out, but make sure to bring something to me that's important to you."
"A word of advice. This world is not your friend, there's no more hope here than there was back there."
I was left out in the cold and wet and rain...
My thoughts amiss with confusion. Only the pita-pata and the drumming noise of water on tin and stone, coming down heavy and hard like the water nymph was watching and mocking me in it's reflection, wrapping it's biting tendrils around my neck. The splash, splash of each drop echoed and reverberates as if to make a howling sound.
The walls around me faded and I was brought into a clearing.
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Author Note:
Please don't be mean and enjoy, let's begin!
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Location [At home]
With this and that to pay for. Credit card bills piling up. Owing money to friends. A boss that hates me and keeps giving me shitty work. A parent that blames me for eveything that's wrong with the world. This is the good life, "I couldn't wish for more". I take a practised sigh as though my very being realises that nothing I do will accomplish anything.
I'm happy as I am, yeah. Nothing can stop me.
Independant, strong... and alone. Loneliness sets in once again.
Deep rooted anxiety that the world dispises me.
I've learnt how to suffer. It's become routine.
Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.
As I sip my coffee over the recent news with great big warning signs that the world is going to end soon and it's our fault. No, maybe it's my fault that the world is going to shit. Yeah, since quite possibly my casual existence is the primary reason for everything bad that's happening.
I'm joking of course, but why not have an existential crisis over coffee. One crisis a day I always say, actually never. I just now thought of that.
Although I jest, on some level I'm half-serious. I could contemplate being fully serious too, if that ever hurt anybody.
You know how every little thing that we do could quite literally wind up being, well you know, the butterfly effect. Maybe one wrong step is all it takes to cause total collapse in society, or maybe there won't even be a society left to even think about.
I guess we just-"Try not to think about it?" I guessed at how everyone else in the world might be dealing with it. The same conclusion, but ultimately unsatisfactory in my view.
Of course, in reality I'm not so worried about that as my ongoing struggle with my financial situation spiralling out of control.
I'm already deep in it, but worrying about anything is pointless, absurd and counter-intuitive.
My heart sinks further into the void.
The collapse is already happening-
And I'm at the center of it.
My lukewarm coffee, is the only thing left to keep me company in this still silence. It's a silence left after an abrupt pause. When the silence sets in, it causes me to shiver and ache in pain at each miniscule-moment that goes by.
It's funny... It's like when you try to have an optimistic view and even that optimism is called out for being pessimism and yet often things are actually much worse than they seem, which has possibly become the dominant thinking in the past decade, that and it's fine to ignore the evidence as long as it suits a common narrative or acceptable pattern of societal norms.
As far as I can remember, "ignoring problems is ok", well ok so much as to say, maybe individually we don't have to fix every problem that exists, but humanity is the caretaker of the planet, and it needs to hold itself accountable and acknowledge the wrong that's been done in order to start moving forward towards something... that's a little bit better. Than the here and now. Don't you agree? I throw the question out there as if to expect a response.
I remember things used to be more straight-forward. But I guess that was just my plain ignorance. I'm not trying to better the world or humanity or anything like that, I'm just trying to understand it. And there's a lot of crazy out there that doesn't seem to fit quite right with my thinking.
Doing 'good' and doing something that's 'right' as it turns out are entirely different things.
When everything that you 'thought' to be true, turns out to be the baseline for opportunistic thinking, it makes me wonder who are the opportunists and what kind of person does it take to be so cunning and still get away with it.
I fall asleep as I lay in my bed to the hum of the computer, as I felt restless and didn't have the desire or energy to close all my documents and tabs.
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