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Witch's Psyche
CH 22 Logic Prevails, Stupidity Succeeds

CH 22 Logic Prevails, Stupidity Succeeds

It was unsurprising to both Hailey and Kait that she was losing over and over and over to the spirit. While Hailey could, at her best, think five turns ahead in chess, the being thought all turns ahead, flawlessly reposing Hailey’s movements without so much as a second thought.

Even with Kait trying her best to help Hailey make the right choices, beating the spirit seemed impossible.

After she was beaten in just four turns because she was trying to be cheeky, Hailey threw her arms up in frustration. “Okay, that’s it, I’m pissed! I see zero chance of me beating you.”

The spirit of logic only reset the board, not responding to Hailey’s aggravation.

Kait was laying on the ground beside Hailey, a hand placed thoughtfully over her mouth. “Maybe you’re missing something.”

“Yeah, there’s probably a gimmick to this, I know that, but I can’t figure out what it is! URGH! Hey, spirit, can I flip this freaking chessboard?”

“It is not a setback,” it said.

“Thanks.” Hailey flipped the board and then punched it as hard as she could, creating a sonic boom that sent the board flying into the distance. “Mmm, that’s satisfying.”

“You’re welcome,” the spirit said proudly before making the board reappear where it was before, untouched.

Hailey leaned back onto her hands. “Hey, what’s your name?” she asked the spirit.

“You can call me Logica, pronounced lo-jic-ca.”

“I can hear you say your name, you know.”

“Oh, sorry. I see speech as written words. ”

“Huh. Say, Logica, isn’t this void a little…bland?”

“Certainly.”

“So, could you, I don’t know, put it above a replica of a lost treasure from the real world?”

“I could.”

“Will you do that?”

“I admire making the most of your current situation, but no, I will not do that.”

Hailey teased the spirit. “Aww, why not? We’re practically best buds already, right?”

“No, the time I have spent with you amounts to approximately one nine-hundred-and-two-thousand-eight-hundred-and-ninth of my lifetime. I require us to spend at least a four-hundred-and-twelfth of my lifetime to be spent with you to be ‘decent friends’ and about a thirty-fourth of my lifetime to be spent with you for me to consider you ‘my best bud’ or, about six years.”

“Why didn’t you just say six years in the beginning instead of verbally assaulting me with fractions?”

“No reas–” the spirit began, but as if compelled, it transitioned to say, “I wanted to sound smart…hmph.” The spirit folded its arms and avoided eye contact with Hailey.

Kait laughed at the spirit, rolling on the ground as if she’d just heard the funniest thing in the world. “PFFFT, it wanted to look cool! HA! The spirit wanted to look cool!”

Hailey looked between the two with confusion.

“S-stop laughing, mortal!” Logica whined.

Kait quickly collected herself and bowed her head in subordination to her ‘elder.’ “Sorry to offend you, almighty Logica.”

Hailey felt like she was missing something, but an idea came to her head. If Logica wanted to impress her, did that mean she’d be willing to…“Hey, Logica.”

The spirit collected itself. “Yes?”

“Why don’t we…” Hailey looked from side to side, a little uncomfortable with the question she planned to ask. “If you want, we could…uh…be friends.”

“I see,” Logica said in her usual monotone. “You want to be…friends.” Logica stared at Hailey intensely for a moment, then smiled just a little. “Very well, it is in both of our best interests that we become friends. We are not, however, best buddies until we have reached a quantifiable point of six years.”

“I’m friends with a primordial spirit. Neat.”

“Clearly, you are unenthused about this. I am sad that I am only useful to you for my practical application.” If the spirit was joking, it wasn’t clear.

“Ouch, you’re making me sound like a piece of fungi!”

“I see. Sorry.”

“So, now that we are friends…want to show me the location of untold riches?”

“No.”

“It was at least worth a try.”

Hailey picked up her king and rolled it around in her hands. “Hey…Logica?”

“Yes?”

She sat up, ready to get to business. “So, I need to beat you at chess to move on, right?”

“Yes.”

“So what if I cheated?”

“Although I am not omniscient within The Consciousness, I see no way I could be tricked. Should you be caught cheating, you will likely have failed to show you can ask for–” Logica coughed. “I mean, you would fail and be sent to the start. If you succeeded in tricking me…yes, in theory, you would win.”

“Okay, so clearly there’s a gimmick to this puzzle, right?”

“No.”

“So–” Hailey paused. “Wait, so you’re telling me that to leave this place, I need to beat the spirit of logic in a game of chess?”

“That is the rule, correct.”

“Does your gameplay have one fatal flaw I haven’t noticed or something?”

“No. My gameplay is without flaw.”

“Is there a rule that’s different from what I know?”

“You appear proficient in this version of chess, though you seem unaware of how to castle and en passant.”

“Castle? A croissant?”

“You were such an easy opponent I did not need to use it, but castling is a technique used when the king and rook have yet to move–”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that, but I don’t think remembering it is going to make me win. So, what I’m hearing is that I shouldn’t be able to beat you on my own, like…at all, right?”

The spirit smiled. “It would be incredible if you did.”

“Then how in the world do I?”

“Ask me for help.”

Hailey remained silent before realizing that was all the spirit would say. “So…can you help me?” Before the spirit could speak, she added, “And don’t you dare say, ‘I could.’ You know fracking well what I mean!”

“I would willingly tutor you on how to beat me if you ask.”

Hailey sighed. “Was that all I needed to do to get out of here? What was the point of all this?”

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“To make you let go of your pride and ask for help,” Logica said, suddenly drinking a power drink.

“Hm.” Hailey turned to an unsurprised Kait, who nonchalantly shrugged. “You knew that the whole time, didn’t you?”

Kait nodded with a wry smile. “A bit.”

“To help me grow, I guess? Don’t bother answering.” Hailey understood the message would have been lost if she’d just been told the solution, but she wasn’t about to act like she was happy about it. “Alright, whatever. I choose white. What should I move first?”

The chess match ended as quickly as it had started. Logica told Hailey each move to make, resulting in a battle between one person—who just happened to be an all-knowing logic spirit—and themselves. After a few minutes, all that was left was a bishop and king on white’s side and the king on black’s side.

“That makes it a draw,” Logica said.

“That’s kinda lame,” Hailey noted. “I was hoping I’d at least win.”

“Consider it a win for both of us. Plus, you had more pieces.”

“I don’t feel much better either way.”

Logica shrugged, then pointed to her left. A black mist suddenly appeared. “You succeeded. Feel free to pass or stay a while if you want.”

She looked back to Logica. “So, why can’t you just show me the location of ancient riches?”

“Because other spirits called dibs on that stuff, and also some complicated internal affairs I can’t talk about.”

“Dibs? Why do you care about gold and treasure?”

“Because we can hand the locations of the treasure out to mortals.”

“Like in the stories?” Many spirits had one or two myths about their good deeds, and although historians agreed many were taken out of proportion, others were also considered to be true.

“Yep, like in the stories. Do not tell anyone, but Kilzherbert got his formula, E = MC squared, from me.”

“Really? Why haven’t I heard about that?”

“We keep that stuff under wraps these days.”

“And you just told me?”

“I failed to mention that it is my duty to personally murder you if you tell anyone else about it. Otherwise, I could receive serious repercussions.”

“I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS?!” Hailey said with a gasp of faux shock.

“Samurai’s code.”

“You aren’t a samurai…” Hailey muttered.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have told you that, though. We usually give information and aid to humans if they need the help.”

“So what about…say…when…”

“When what?”

“When my friend died…”

“I’m not allowed to explain why The Consciousness has a hands-off approach. Though you may actually be–”

“Huh?”

“Yes?”

Hailey raised an eyebrow. “What did you just say?”

“I’m not absolutely, unequivocally, without a doubt certain as to what you are referring to,” Logica said, too quiet and quick for Hailey to comprehend.

“What did you just say?!”

“I was told by your counselor not to divulge such information.”

“What information?”

“The information regarding–”

“Dangit, Logica!” Suddenly, a younger version of Hailey appeared out of thin air, drop-kicked Logica, then teleported out with the spirit in tow.

Hailey and Kait’s mouths hung open for a minute afterward.

Hailey shook her head, standing. “I get that this whole thing was to make me ask questions more, but my mind is insisting I should never ask a spirit a question ever again.”

Kait chuckled. “You don’t know the half of it.”

“Okay…NEXT!” Hailey said before walking through the mist.

When she next reappeared, she was on a familiar platform of rock, and above her, more platforms rose toward a black mist. It seemed to signify a final challenge.

Taylor and Taila strolled through the streets before stopping in front of a large domed building.

“So this giant dome has been the ritualist’s place the whole time?” Taylor asked. It was a well-known landmark in the area, but he’d never actually learned what it was.

Taila shrugged. “Pretty much, I haven’t bothered asking for the ritualist’s help more than once, since Mom was a fortune reader, too. Though, I remember that I did test for postcarrio just because I could.” Taila leaned into Taylor affectionately. “But enough about me! I’m soooo excited you’re trying to learn magic, Taylor!”

Taylor automatically pushed Taila a comfortable distance away. “Yeah. It’s real cool,” he said unenthusiastically.

“That dumb-dumb necromancer and I do not work well together, and he’s one of the only other trained magicians around here!”

“You know, he stopped by recently.”

“Jaine? Why?”

“No idea, he left without a trace.”

“So…he just walked by your house? I wouldn't call that ‘stopping by.’”

“No. He walked in, did some weird things with Mk2, then left.”

“You are making no sense, Taylor.”

“Yeah, it was weird.”

“Well, anyway, let’s talk more about these rituals. I’ll pay! We can just call it an early birthday present.”

“R-really?”

“Yeah!”

“I mean, geez, thanks, but I don’t really want to make you pay for my mom.”

Taila froze in place, her eyes widening. “Wait, you had your mom pay for this?”

He raised an eyebrow as he looked back. “Uh, yeah? Do I look like I have five-hundred dollars to spend?”

“Oh…” Taila turned her head away, trying to hide her nervous expression, then quickly looked back with a forced smile as she continued walking. “No problem, we can just consider it her present. I may not look it, Taytay, but I’m stacked.” Your mother, not so much, ATM, she thought.

“I appreciate the thought, Taila, but would you mind maybe not yelling about how rich you are in public?”

Taila playfully elbow-jabbed Taylor and whispered. “Come on, you can let loose a little!”

“Aunt PoTaitomucher2…how ironic the legend flaunted her wealth in video games and real life, only to be mugged by a kleptomancer.”

Taila grumbled. “Ain’t like I’d let that happen.”

“And how exactly would you stop it?”

Taila continued to grumble. “Premonitoring. It’s an ability that lets me, like, predict things a second before they happen…if I try.”

“You can do tha–” Taylor began, but he was immediately cut off by Taila, who already knew what he’d say.

“Don’t tell anyone.” She leaned back, then patted his shoulder, winking. “It’ll be our little secret. It’s not a common ability.”

“Sure, auntie Tai, I won’t tell anyone else how you’ve been cheating with magic to impress your nephew in video games.”

“N-now, let’s get ritualizing!”

The two walked into the domed building. Inside, sunlight filtered through the dome’s glass ceilings, and a receptionist was busy talking to a customer. “Right, so let me get this straight…you want to…” he turned to face his laptop, set up behind his desk. “Take the ritual for cryomancy?”

“Yes.”

“Okay…I’ll check in with Lady Mera.”

“Thanks.” The customer walked to a bench off to the side.

Seeing Taila and Taylor walking to him, the receptionist welcomed them, “Hello, do you have an appointment, or do you want to make one?”

Taylor cleared his throat and straightened up. “Oh, yes. I have multiple.”

“Okay, good to hear. So, could you tell me your first and last name?”

“Taylor Joul.”

The receptionist began typing on his computer. Once he’d found what he was looking for, he spoke again without turning his head, “And will the lady behind you be participating in any rituals?”

Taila shook her head. “No.”

“Okay, so you have postcarrio, doppelgear,” he squinted at the screen in disbelief, “appetizer, aquaformer, and sumnus listed. Before we continue, what even is an appetizer? Do we sell food here? Did someone name a magic on a terrible pun?”

“You know how they say chicken noodle soup heals the soul?”

“Something like that…”

“That’s what an appetizer does.”

“They heal souls?”

“With food, or something. It’s a new magic. I mostly picked it because it was cheap and I like cooking.”

“Wack…anyway, can you confirm those were the rituals you wanted?”

“They are.”

“Cool. How would you like to pay?”

“Cash.”

The receptionist wrote a note on his laptop. “Cash. Noted. That’s all, please sit down and wait your turn. Mrs. Kukui will be with you shortly.”

Taylor and Taila sat on one of the benches.

“I’m sooo excited! What if you actually get a magic?!”

“Relax, Taila, there’s at best a, I dunno, one in sixty chance that I get one,” he spitballed. “Hailey’s already found her affinity. It isn’t likely I will, too.” Taylor immediately regretted mentioning Hailey’s affinity for witchcraft as he realized who he was talking to.

Taila took a second to comprehend what she’d been told. She instantly leaned toward Taylor with excitement. “WHAT?! IS HAILEY GONNA BE A WITCH?!”

“Taila, please stop yelling about witchcraft being a thing again, it’s very disruptive and you’ll cause rumors.”