Elena was amused by Maya’s honest reaction of joy. The air between them was a little lighter as if Maya had managed to peel off one layer of unbroachable barrier that constantly surrounded Elena.
“Your reaction’s worrying me a bit. I didn’t expect you to be giggling like you just won the lottery.”
“Honestly, the feeling’s not that far from it.”
After glancing at Elena, Maya realized that her reaction was making her uncomfortable. Elena was already determined to not make a big deal out of it, shrinking the meaning behind their contract.
“I feel like I’ve achieved something even greater,” Maya wasn’t willing to allow Elena to lessen the bond they’ve made.
Even just making her verbally agree to be on her side was an incredible feat. If you think about it, despite people willing to be her friends, Elena would always operate on her own. Although Maya included her as a member of their squad, Elena had been keeping herself at a distance.
“You’re making me seem like a horrible person,” Elena mumbled, turning away.
“It’s not like that!” Maya realized her error. She was too absorbed in her accomplishment that she didn’t think to consider how would that reflect on Elena as a person. “You’re so desperately searching for your parents, and I… I was the one responsible for my parents’ deaths. I was just afraid you’d never want to follow a person like me.”
Elena gave her a sidelong glance. “It’s true I want to find my parents. However, let me tell you this right away. I don’t care about that… stuff,” Elena was a little stiff when talking about expressing herself emotionally. “Your parents are yours, and mine are mine. It doesn’t matter if you killed an entire village.”
Maya gasped at Elena going to another extreme. ‘She doesn’t care about genocide?’
“In this world, it doesn’t matter whether you smashed a dog’s head with a rock, or shot a man in the face,” She continued with her brutal analogies. “We are all condemned the same.”
‘Condemned, huh?’
Maya didn’t like that word, but it strangely made sense. They all got here one way or the other, and they are all tied to the same fate that awaits this world.
“At times word ‘condemned’ does seem to fit better than ‘chosen’,” Maya admitted.
“I don’t believe in the ‘we were chosen’ talk… It’s just a pretty lie masking the randomness of the universe.”
Maya sat quietly to ponder. ‘What is the point of a lie? To deceive. To point away from reality.’ So it made sense for something that sounds too good to be true, to be a deception. If you think about it rationally, it does start to make sense.
The reality was, that nothing really changed. The suffering didn’t go away. And all the emotional baggage they carried from Vetus Orbis still follows them here. Elements choosing her didn’t bring her parents back to life, nor did it erase her guilt and melancholy.
They only get to feel a little better about themselves while running away from their problems.
Maya glanced at Elena. It was a truly cynical outlook on life. Was this how Elena always thinks?
That space of despair was somewhere Maya could have easily ended up herself if it wasn’t for the undeniable fact that she was actually chosen.
‘I am a Prima. Even if it was just a coincidence that it had fallen on me, it doesn’t change the fact that it’s an opportunity.’
Maya acknowledged that it was up to her to choose what to do with it.
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‘I may raise my hands and give up, or I may fight to become stronger even if it ends up in vain. I’d rather do something than nothing because I already did a whole lot of nothing before.’
Maya reflected on her past, remembering that not too long ago, she had lived every day not wishing to be alive. However, something happened. She almost died. It made her realize she no longer wished to continue living with that sentiment.
After that, she quickly realized she did not know how to change. In desperation and fear of falling back into her old pattern and losing this new revelation, Maya jumped at the first opportunity that showed itself to her, disregarding how reckless and unwise it could be.
‘I may feel like I’m still stuck in that perpetual loop, but the truth is that I did change. The only sad part is that I couldn’t do it without a catalyst, an outside push.’
She concluded that this time she needed to be smarter about this and learn from her past. Instead of waiting for a miraculous stimulus to show itself to keep her momentum and push her forward, all she needed it to put one beside her. And what better choice there was than the chaotic Elena who often pushes her into similar revelations?
‘I benefit in so many unexpected ways. I’m like a junkie high on a rush of so many emotions. They remind me I am alive.’
Watching her doing something mindless as if she wasn’t compelled to think about any of this as deeply as Maya was, Elena seemed so clueless. But she often drove Maya to surprising insights. Whether it was her intention or not.
What Maya lacked in the past was someone to converse with. Although Elena may not seem like the best conversationalist, her differing views provide Maya with introspection into different perspectives.
‘That’s why she’s so valuable to me.’
Maya was still delving deep into her mind even long after their conversation. The playful wind threw her soft curls in her face, reminding her of her surroundings.
Maya was at the Temple of Light. She didn’t like visiting this place, feeling uncomfortable about the confusing gods that resided here, but this was where she could find her mentor for extra lessons. As it turned out, Maya wasn’t equally talented in all of her elements.
Air had an unfair advantage as it was her first recognized element, but Water and Earth didn’t fall too far behind. However, Fire was something she was grappling with. So much so that she recognized early on she would need to put much more effort into it.
Instead of constantly pestering Tanya during her Elemental Practices, and evoking unpleasant resentment from her teammates, Maya decided to take up her offer for extra lessons in the later hours at the temple.
However, Tanya seemed to be occupied for a moment with Lady Kiana and asked her to wait, so Maya was waiting at the beautiful four-statue plaza, enjoying the warmth of the Autumn sun.
The air was becoming crisp and carried the smells of October. A whole month has passed already since she arrived in this strange new world. Soon her birthday will come.
Maya wasn’t alone. Beside her was one of the priestess candidates, also waiting for them to finish so she could resume her duties to Lady Kiana. It was Lisa.
Although Lisa was in the Fire group mentored by Tanya, and Maya had encountered her plenty of times by now, she couldn’t help but still feel a cold shoulder directed at her. Since they only had each other’s company at the moment, the air was awkward between them.
“Lisa, I don’t know if I offended you somehow,” Maya began breaching the excruciating silence. “I’d like to know why you hate me so much.”
Unlike her Air group colleagues, Maya couldn’t place what was the source of Lisa’s resentment. They weren’t competing for their mentor’s attention. Lisa was among the most talented freshmen fire mages, given she is a priestess candidate too, and Tanya’s most prized pupil. So there has to be something else that irked her.
Lisa stared at her for a moment and sighed, choosing not to face Maya directly as she provided an answer.
“I don’t hate you. It’s just your roommate I’d rather have nothing to do with. Since you’re quite chubby, we don’t have grounds for a relationship.”
Maya felt relief. Lisa wasn’t mean or scornful. It was simply she had principles and chose not to get close to people around the one person she held resentment for. She even felt sorry that Maya felt wronged by her cold treatment and provided her with an explanation.
Lisa confessed that last summer, even before Sarah’s fiasco, she was on quite good terms with Elena since the two of them were among the first arrivals and interacted on many occasions. Surprisingly, they were even growing something her naive self thought back then was true friendship. But soon enough their relationship soured and they drifted apart.
Lisa sighed and looked at Maya.
“She’s the type of person who would hold your hand while you drown,” she concluded. “Think hard if that is someone you want beside you,” then she left without elaborating.
Maya was quite taken by this unexpected crumb of knowledge about Elena. They never gave her an impression of having a past connection. Elena treats Lisa like any other background character in her life. It was strange to think Lisa was once what Maya was now to her.
‘What does she mean by that ominous statement?’