WHEN YOU DIE PEOPLE ALWAYS TALK about seeing a light at the end of a tunnel. Santiago had died once and did not see anything. Maybe it meant he was going someplace else.
It wouldn’t have surprised him.
Santiago never held much stalk in heaven or hell. Never cared enough to earn a place in either. It was hard enough to keep his head above water in his time on earth. As for what happened after, he would take it for what it was.
Except this time was different.
He saw it.
In the depths of the icy black.
The sun. Golden warmth enveloped him and his mother who still floated limply in his grasp.
Blood burned as it pumped through his icy veins.
There was something that swam towards him, reaching. A figure in the light.
Santiago was not afraid anymore.
If this was the end for them. At least they were not alone.
Santiago came into the world with his mother. Seemed fitting to leave it with her.
Santiago took the warm hand into his own and closed his eyes one last time.
Senses gradually came back to life, heavy lids struggled to open bringing the world around him into focus. The soft floral designs on the paper curtains blocked the harshness of the fluorescent bulbs. A dull murmur of voices mixed with the hum and chirping machinery.
The medical equipment and monitors stood as silent sentinels watching over him for any signs of change. Plastic crinkled loudly as he shifted on the inflated mattress and grabbed the small plastic pitcher filled with water.
Anyone who said water had no taste had never truly experienced thirst.
Cool fluid spread through his chest and belly.
He slumped back, wiped the excess from his face.
Santiago did not bother with the button. He swung his legs over the side of the bed pulling his IV pole along with him. Sauntered out of his patient room the nurse jumped from behind the desk.
“You should be resting.” Tracy said.
“Where’s my mother?” He said.
She sighed, “Santiago. Please, get back to bed.”
“You know me well enough to know that’s not going to happen.” Santiago stared back at her evenly, “You going to call the orderlies, now because I got time.”
“You’re a pain in the ass.” She sighed and motioned him along, “She’s down the hall.”
He ambled along with her to the patient room. He let out a breath he had not realized he was holding.
She was lying there. Pale as a sheet, eyes sunken in, cheeks hollowed which stood out starkly in the well-lit room. Guadalupe was a shell of herself.
His mother looked up at him, a light flickered in her eyes, her face contorted. “Oh baby, I’m so sorry.”
Santiago leaned over, he held her with his arm free of tubing. She clung to him tightly sobbed into his shoulder.
“It’s okay. I’m okay.” He rubbed circles on her back, the feeling of the ridges of her spine under his palm put a pit in stomach.
She laid back breathing heavily, “I promise you, I’m going to get right this time. I promise I’ll be better.”
Santiago smiled, kissing her forehead, “Get some rest.”
She nodded and gave his hand a squeeze.
Outside the room his smile faded as Santiago made the way back to his own. Those words did not really mean anything to him anymore.
It was always the same.
She would apologize for all the trouble she caused and try to get better. She would succeed for a few weeks. On the rare occasion a few months. Then she would go off the rails and the cycle would start over again.
For now she was safe and that is all that mattered.
Tracy fussed about him as she set the equipment back in order.
“How did we get here?” He said.
“Ambulance brought you in.” She flipped through his chart, “Near drowning, hypothermia. We don’t know much else.”
“We fell off the Aurora bridge.” He said.
Her eyes bugged, “What— The water is freezing this time of year. You would have gone into shock.”
That made sense. As soon as he hit that water, he could not move an inch. Like he was stuck in an ice block. He was sure they were dead.
“You might be a little confused. It can happen with the lack of oxygen.” Tracy looked over concerned.
“You’re probably right.” He said.
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Santiago absently stared at the television and the volume lowered to a faint hum in the dim hospital room. He was alone for now. His roommate was discharged a few hours earlier.
Santiago winced against the fluorescent lights as the curtain was yanked back.
Lola glowered at him.
“Ay!” He brought his arm up to block the first punch that never landed. He peered up at her, fist still raised.
“Shut up! You dumb dick!” Lola’s lip quivered, her face pulled together trying to push back the tears as her voice cracked. “How many times are you going to do this shit? You need to stop.”
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“Lolo, I’m okay.” Santiago said softly.
She slumped over him screaming into his chest as she was wracked with sobs.
He had been prepared for her throwing hits. It was her terrible way she expressed her emotions. Lola was not a crier. She hated it more than anything, even more in front of people. It did not matter what it was. He remembered when she fell out of a tree and broke her arm she did not shed a tear. Yet here she was unable to stop and it was his fault.
What she must have thought when she got another call that said he was in the hospital.
Being back he thought that negated his absence. He was dead, now he was not. He did not think about all that happened while he was gone despite the lingering traces he had come across.
They had set up memorials for him. Marched for him. Grieved over him.
None of them knew he would have come back. It was the end.
He had experienced it enough with all the friends that never made it this far. Dying within the same confines of the neighborhood they were born in. It was never easy, every place had a memory attached to a person they loved that they lost to soon.
They had gone through all of that for him. It had never occurred to him that his return meant that one day they might have to go through it all again.
Santiago pulled her close. “I'm sorry, I’m so sorry.”
He rested his chin atop the thick mane of colored hair. Santiago held her for as long as she needed at least this time he could. He did not want to think about how close he was again to never seeing his best friend again.
Her breathing was still shallow, as she rested her head on his chest. She blotted at her damp face with the tissues that had been left at his bedside in a halfhearted attempt to preserve what was left of her make-up.
“I can’t do this shit again Yago.” Her voice trembled, “I can’t—”
“It’s okay, I’m not going anywhere.” He gave her a squeeze. “I’ll do better. I promise.”
He had to do better for them. For the people who had made space for him in their hearts. The ones who stayed by his side through the worst and never looked at him any different. He loved them more than he did himself.
Since he had learned his mother died he had been reckless. He did not care what happened. He had been so overwhelmed with guilt and grief. Stupidly he thought he could disappear and no one would care.
Had he truly become so selfish to not pay any mind to all the people who had mourned his loss and celebrated his return.
He loved Lola. She was the sister he never had.
Alejo, Jesus, Marisol were some of the few people that had brought so much laughter and light into his life. Santiago refused to bring tears and darkness into theirs.
Santiago understood now what Thompson and Rose had been trying to push on him about his future. He hated to think about it because he knew it was not promised. He never let himself imagine what type of future he wanted.
Santiago knew now what he wanted.
Whatever happened from here on out it was not about him, or even Guadelupe. It was about his family. The one that he chose. The one that chose him.
No matter the cost he would keep them safe.
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“You got the luck of the devil, Yago” Alejo clapped the boys back as they embraced.
“Something like that.” He said.
Both boys stopped at the concierge desk when they reached the lobby. “I was checking to see what room they moved my mom to. We were admitted at the same time.”
“Her name?” Said the Concierge.
“Guadalupe Santiago.”
“She was released this morning.”
“Released to where?” Santiago snapped.
“I don’t have that information.” She replied apologetically.
He pinched his brow as he silently cursed. Of course, this would happen. Now he had to find her. Again.
“Perhaps, I can shed some light on the situation.” A velvety voice came from behind.
Both turned, eyes wide.
An older woman, honeyed eyes that matched the cascading waves of hair that fell to her waist.
Santiago remembered the billowing silhouette, the delicate features that had been traced by golden light.
It was her.
The boys sat quietly watching the woman sip her coffee. Delicately licking the foam from her rosy, pink tinted lips.
Alejo side eyed his friend as he whispered. ”This is the lady who bailed me out.”
Santiago’s brow furrowed. “Um, I appreciate the drink and I don’t mean to be forward, but how do you know my mother?”
“I grew up with your father, Vicente.” Eliana’s manicured nails tapped the porcelain cup, “After he lost his parents at a young age my family took him in.”
“My mom never told me that.” He said.
“I don’t think she knew. His family wasn’t a subject he mentioned a lot. It was painful for him.” She reached across the table giving his hand a gentle pat as she slid a manila folder to him. “Don’t worry about your mother. I’ve seen to it that she’s been transferred to Zinnia, a lodge in Lake Arrowhead. All the information regarding her treatment and such is included. You can reach out to the facility though they do require two weeks of no contact for detox.”
There was so much he did not understand.
This woman he had never met or heard about whose apparently like family to his father appears out of nowhere to whisk his mother off to rehab states away like some sort of fairy godmother.
What was so different now versus all the years they could have used the help.
“Your mother and I are not friends.” She replied bluntly, “After your father passed, she made it clear she didn’t want anything to do with me. Being that I was not a blood relative I had no say in the matter. I wanted to respect your father’s wishes to keep you out of the chaos that comes with having powers like ours.”
“How did you know I got my powers?” He said.
“You don’t remember.” She frowned, “I supposed that makes sense the first awakening after something like that would probably lead to some gaps. You don’t have control of your powers and you black out.”
He nodded.
“When you came back to life for the first time. I had come for that.” She pointed to his pendant. “It was your fathers. It was purely a selfish reason wanting the last memento of his. You woke up and tore your way out of the morgue drawer. Caused quite a stir. I subdued you and dealt with the cleanup. Had the miraculous return to life written off as simple malpractice.”
“Why?” Confusion plain on his face.
“To preserve what little safety anonymity had left to provide you.” Said Eliana.
Santiago scowled out the window. This again the ever-impending doom everyone kept on about. “My powers are kept in control by this. I haven’t had any problems with it.”
“And you won’t as long as you keep it on.” She straightened up in her seat, “Did your mother never explain to you why you couldn’t use your powers?”
“She never even told me I had them.”
“And Rosenia?”
“Of course, you know about her. No, she didn’t.” He replied flatly.
“You’ve really been flying by the seat of your pants with this.” She scoffed in disbelief, “It’s not about you Santiago or your lack of control. The danger comes from that power getting into the hands of someone who knows what to do with it. What is inside of you is what cost your father his entire bloodline.”
Santiago stared at her, unable to even form the question.
“You know about the core magics.”
“Creation, augmentation, manipulation. Yeah read the pamphlet.”
“There is another. It is the rarest of them to be born with a natural affinity. Difficult to wield and as dangerous to the user as it was to others. Entropy.” She moved her fingers fluidly and from thin air it seemed a coin weaved its way between, she held it up for inspection. “You’ve seen these no doubt. It’s simple. All the magics are interconnected. They exist together and in opposition. Two halves of a coin. Augmentation with manipulation. The ability to change and the ability to control. Creation and Entropy exist in opposition to one another. The ability to bring form and order versus the ability to deconstruct or disrupt.”
Interconnected. That meant he might be able to learn the other magics as well. He would settle if he could figure out why his own never worked when he wanted it to.
Eliana watched the boy’s intent expression with fondness, “There is so much you have yet to learn.”
“And you’ll teach me.” Santiago said.
“If you are willing. Yes.” Elliana tapped the folder, “My card is inside as well. It would be best if you were to come with me back to my family home. I have more resources there. Take some time to think about it.”
California.
Santiago knew he was born there. Though he had no memories of it. He was still a baby when his mother brought him out here.
It was doable now. With his mom taken care of in rehab. He could spare a couple of months to go learn about his powers. About his father.
There was so much he wanted to know. Questions that had simmered in his brain for years that he might actually get answers to.
What did he have to lose?