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Wishing for Spring
Chapter 8: I Don't Want To Be a Monster

Chapter 8: I Don't Want To Be a Monster

"R-Rena!? You're back?" The night watchman at the gates of Fisham town looked up at Rena who stood before the gates, her team of canines panting out puffs of vapour from the exercise. Standing huddled behind her were the two sisters, and Cyrus was rummaging through a back on the sled. "Who are these people?"

"Linda and Lily Day, from Goldilocks. I request you allow them admission. I will stay outside the fence until a representative can come see me."

"And him?" The watchman asked, lifting his lantern and pointing to Cyrus, who paused in his search to wave.

"He stays with me."

"I do?" Cyrus asked.

"He does," Rena said firmly.

"Where do we go?" Linda asked as she walked up beside Rena.

"Look for Peter Fisher and tell him you were sent by Rena," Rena instructed. Linda nodded. Rena stood back, reaching out a hand to pat Hokum on the head, who whined at her side. Cyrus sighed, not finding what he was looking for. He walked up to Rena, only to be greeted by both Rigamarole and Hokum growling. Briskly, the short vampire stepped back, hands up. Rena smiled.

"Well, go on ahead. There is a public house called the Relay with two porch lamps out front. I'm sure the Fishers are probably in bed, so no need to bother them," the watchman said, tilting his head and thumbing behind him as he kept his eyes trained on Rena and her pack. Lily and Linda tiredly walked past him, following the torchlight they could see from the gate.

"So does this mean we actually get the tent instead of burying ourselves in the snow?" Cyrus inquired, eyeing the tense hounds as Rena knelt down and released them from the sled. As if on cue, they all sat and stared at Cyrus, their eyes reflecting the moonlight eerily. He took another step back as a small black one licked her chops.

"If you want to set up the tent, be my guest. I've got a dug-out not far from here. I just need to shovel out any new snow since I last used it." Rena said, pushing the sled on her own strength towards a copse of coniferous trees. "Filibuster! Blarney! Come!" Rena shouted as the two youngest wolfdogs dashed off into the night. One bit the other and there was a series of growls and yelps before one flipped over in the snow and came galloping back to Rena. The other followed, tail low, in a ginger trot. Both of them had darker fur with white muzzles and bellies, though only one of the two had white paws as well.

"Most animals don't like vampires..." Cyrus remarked, trailing behind so as not to aggravate the dogs. They'd been giving him warning growls the whole journey, which kept Cyrus on his toes and provided Rena the space she craved.

"Only dogs. I've had to give up on cats. Rigamarole and Claptrap are brothers which split from their pack. Hokum I found in a trap and nursed back to health. Kerfuffle-"

"I didn't ask for their history. Geez," Cyrus interrupted, eyeing the dogs and wolves peevishly, watching them wag their tails and prance in the snow.

"Kerfuffle," Rena repeated, ignoring Cyrus's remarks, "... is a Malamute, I think, though maybe not pure. Got her as a puppy while I was up north for a while and met a man who has been surviving on his own with just his dogs. He was willing to part with her as it was a lean winter. We didn't realise at the time that spring wouldn't come. I wonder if he's still alive."

"You don't say? How long has it been winter here?" Cyrus asked, eager to change the topic, even if it meant talking about the weather.

"Three or four years now. Animals and plants are dying. People who fail to adapt to a mostly meat diet aren't thriving." Rena shrugged her shoulders, patting Rigamarole on the head. "Before then, winters were just long, but there was at least a brief intense growing period."

Cyrus let out a low whistle. This caused one of the dogs, presumably Kerfuffle, to bark. "Is that because of the, what do you call it, the blight?"

"The Bleak. The persistent cloud that blots out the sun. When it was smaller a lot of vampires moved towards it. I stayed put. It's just as well. From the word that's travelled this far north, everything is dying in the Bleak, and vampires quickly run out of their food sources and are forced to move on, like any predator. Some vampires turned to feeding on each other in frenzied states. Many have the Stench. The edges of the bleak are the most dangerous and where the White Plague spreads the quickest."

"Well, damn. The Bleak had spread across the oceans and reached the Iberian Peninsula and North Africa before I ended up here. But as far as I know, the White Plague never made it off the Americas." Cyrus shook his head. Rena let go of the sled and walked over to a mound on the side of the hill where a shovel handle could be seen sticking out.

"It's possible none of us will survive this, mortals or vampires," Rena predicted grimly.

"Maybe. Maybe not. Layla started a new hunt for the cornerstones as soon as news of the Plague hit us," Cyrus remarked. Rena wiggled the firmly wedged shovel out of the snow. One of the wolves padded over and began to dig alongside Rena.

"Cornerstones? I thought we agreed they were hogwash," Rena grunted.

"She considered the plague a sign. And the Bleak convinced her."

"That's just a result of dropping too many bombs as far as I'm concerned," Rena said with a shrug as she tossed snow over her shoulder. Cyrus quickly stepped back to not get showered in it.

"You're a vampire, Irene... Rena! Not everything is science!" Cyrus huffed as he began to unload the tarpaulin from the sled. "Your blood had magical healing properties when you were still mortal! Yeesh."

"There is still an order to the world. I just need to discover what the new order is," Rena responded as she continued to work on clearing out the small cave in. Cyrus just shook his head as he gathered up the rest of the supplies to start assembling the tent.

"...Hey.... how well will this actually keep the sunlight out?" Cyrus asked, eyeing the thick canvas.

"Well enough to not burn, but always make sure you make it by a wind break. Last thing I need is not only for you to burn because the wind shears a tear in my tent, but to have it burn down as well. They don't make blackout tents like that anymore." Rena patted snow from herself, finally finding the old tunnel she had crafted before. One of her pack let out a playful yip and went charging in ahead of her. "I've had that tent for forty years."

"They don't make ANYTHING like they used to anymore. There is no 'they'. You've gone back to frontier life!" Cyrus complained. "Even the caravan I travelled with had covered wagons to sleep in that were up off the ground. And by the way, thanks for valuing my life as much as your old tent."

"The tent is actually useful and reliable," Rena responded as grabbed her bedroll from the sled.

"Excuse you!" Cyrus retorted, placing a hand on his hip. "Don't forget the amount of times I saved your life."

"Only after you got me into that trouble in the first place," Rene said as she placed her bedroll on the ground and got down on all fours, pushing the bedroll through the narrow opening and crawling after. Cyrus paused his work to watch her wriggle and crawl in.

"Ah, well, you've got me there." Cyrus finally said, returning to the task. It took him several tries to get the tent up, and a few times his efforts were slowed down by the mischief of Rena's pack. But eventually they all piled into the dug-out with Rena. "Hey, just how much space is in there?"

A muffled voice responded, "Just enough for me and the pack!"

A series of yelps could be heard and Cyrus shook his head again. "Lucky pups..."

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Three steaming cups of tea were placed down on a table. With her hood still up, Lily placed her gloved hands on the cup, feeling the warmth radiating out. Linda took off her gloves, looking up at Peter who sat across from her and her sister, rubbing his raw chin, then wincing when he bumped a patch of razor burn.

"Rena didn't tell us much. Just to find you," Linda summarised, trying to step back from earlier confusion when they first met and renavigate the situation. Peter looked over to Lily, who kept her head low and her face obscured.

"She has been bitten, though? That's a fact?" Peter asked in a hushed voice. Linda looked around at the mostly vacant common room of the Relay. It was a house hastily converted to a lodge from the looks of things, but at last it was a fully wood panelled house and not one of the sod huts most people seemed to live in.

"Yes." Lily said, her voice nearly drowned out from the crackling of a nearby fire.

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"Why did Rena bring you here with her?" Peter asked, deciding to try and get at the heart of the matter rather than run his mind ragged on theories.

Linda and Lily looked at each other. Lily looked away, focusing on the fire, leaving Linda to do the talking. Linda began with, "We know she's, uh, diff'rent." Linda tapped her fingers on the table. "Her and her friend."

"What friend?" Peter asked, eyebrows raised in earnest astonishment.

"Cyrus," Linda said, scrunching up her nose, her nasolabial crease deepening with contempt.

"Cyrus?" Peter repeated louder than he meant. He dropped his voice and added, "He's here?"

"Yeah. Don't much know the history there, but them two are... weird." Linda said, reflecting the inconsistent and mismatched interactions between the two vampires. "You know him?"

"I... I have never met him, I just know his name," Peter said, his voice going quiet. "But if he's here this is going to get more complicated."

"Why?" Linda asked before she could stop herself.

"Ah... that's... I wouldn't know where to begin. I don't know how much Rena has told you. How much she wants you to know. So why don't you tell me what your connection with Rena is?" Peter rolled the ball gently back into the Day sisters' court.

"Well... Lily got bit. That Cyrus creep killed the vamp 'n said he could save her. He was lying, turns out. But Rena says maybe there's a way. So we're followin' Rena while she tries to figger somethin' out. She says Lily ain't a threat to her 'n Cyrus." Linda recapped as briefly as she could. Peter sipped his herbal tea as he listened and absorbed everything they said.

"Hmmm... well I can help keep your sister's secret for now. We are afraid of the White Plague as much as the next person, but are also fascinated by it. One third of the town would simply cast her out, one third would want her killed, and one third would want to study her." Peter rubbed the back of his neck, chagrined that he fell into one of these categories.

"Why ain't you scared of her?" Linda asked. Lily, for the first time, returned her gaze from the fire and looked at Peter, interested in his response.

"Because Rena isn't. And I have faith in her. Or maybe I'm an optimist, and believe that our humanity is something worth fighting for." Peter shrugged his shoulders. "People around here always called me soft, and I got all the softer when I became a father."

"I don't want to be a monster..." Lily said softly, still trying to reconcile with the reality of her fate.

"I don't think most people do. But it happens. Though sometimes trying to fight monsters makes monsters of us all. I've heard of people with albinism or vitiligo being hunted. Anyone who even just has very pale skin and hair, or no hair at all. Anything that reminds them of the abominations," Peter said ruefully, touched by the injustices and brutality.

"I don't know what all them things are, alism or vertigo or..."

"Albinism and vitiligo. They are conditions which cause people to appear pale, either all over, or just in spots. But they are unrelated to the white plague," Peter explained. Lily and Linda looked at him as if he were speaking another language, but showing a distinct lack of curiosity, both just shrugged and moved the conversation along.

"Do you think Rena can help me?" Lily asked.

"I'm not sure. Rena can fight abominations, and she can heal wounds, but I don't know if she can heal you," Peter frowned, tapping the side of his mug.

"She won't say what she got in mind, but made it sound risky, and maybe, just as bad as being a vamp. Can't think what'd be as bad as a vamp, though," Linda muttered darkly.

"Did she? I wonder if she's thinking of turning Lily into a vampire," Peter mused out loud. Vampire. Linda looked at Lily, complicated feelings stirring in her. Could she live with her sister as a blood drinker, even if her sister could stay herself? Lily likewise stared long and hard at Linda, then looked down at her tea which remained untouched.

"I'd rather be anything but one of them things," Lily said quietly. Linda placed an arm on Lily's shoulder. "I want to live."

"At what cost?" Linda asked. Lily tightened her grip on her cup as her pink lips grew taught.

"Any cost... any cost but you, sis," Lily answered.

"Well, let's not jump to any conclusions just yet. It all depends on how... oh." Peter went quiet as a sobering realisation dawned on him. Linda and Lily looked at him, their faces asking the questions their voices did not. "...There's a chance that Rena won't be able to help you. If she is rejected again by us... she will be terminated."

"What? Why?" Lily asked, her expression stricken.

"Rena's had a long standing pact with my ancestors. Her protection and guidance in exchange for blood and shelter from the sun. Everyone in the clan has the opportunity to make individual pacts with her, but there is also the Clan Pact." Peter explained. He paused to take a sip, but seeing the glances between the sisters, felt prompted to explain further. "Sadly, about five years ago some raiders attacked us during the day. Rena couldn't be much help. It had been a long time since we'd seen another vampire, which she was the most effective against, and we'd never had a White Plague outbreak in our village. She was the reason we hadn't joined any Wards for so long, keeping the secret and keeping good relations with other settlements was too complicated. So the Clan Pact was revoked." Peter's eyes dropped, his expression growing increasingly more grave. "However, Rena lives by a strict creed that if she is ever without a pact, she must be terminated by the last person to break their oath to her. And that is me. I left with her and kept my pact, but I had been away from my people too long. I wanted to come home. And now, if the clan will not renew their contract with her, then... it will be my responsibility to kill her." Peter blinked and looked up. "Unless... did she make a formal agreement with either of you?"

The sisters looked between each other. The information laid out to them was heavy and involved, something far beyond the scope of what either of them had dealt with before. "Well... no I don't think so. She just said she'd see what she can do. We didn't, like, shake or swear on nuthin," Linda admitted.

"Should we have?" Lily asked, bewildered by how Rena could agree to help when her own life was so precarious.

"What'll happen to us if she dies? I ain't gonna trust that notcher, Cyrus!" Linda uttered, disdain dribbling from her voice. This caused Lily to blush and quickly look away.

"I can offer some help, but at the first sign of danger, I'm afraid I must do what any father would do to make the world safer for his children," Peter said grimly. But could he? He baulked at the idea of harming Rena. And this demure girl did not seem to deserve any brutality. And he wished not to be a part of such matters. But when he thought of his children, it touched something primal in him.

"I get you," Linda responded. She would do anything for her sister. She could only imagine what a parent would do for their children. "So what do we do until sundown?"

"Oh, I can probably find plenty for you to do to keep busy."

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It was quite the procession that marched out through the Fisham gates at sundown. A guard, armed with a spear and wooden stakes, preceded Chief Fisham, who walked with his fur cloak billowing in the constant prairie wind. Behind him was his nephew, Peter Fisher, and following Peter were the two visitors from Goldilocks. Pulling up the rear were a pair of hunters, bows and quivers on their backs and tomahawks at their belts. Despite Rena's long and peaceful relationship with the Fisher clan, it seemed they were not keen on taking chances.

A chorus of howls marked the arrival of Rena, who had dug her way out of her snow shelter not long before. Trailing behind her, in hunter's garb too large for him, was Cyrus, kicking up sprays of snow as he moved in misfitting moccasins.

The two groups lined up across from each other. Peter looked at Rena with clear apprehension, and Chief Fisher with reserve. Rena betrayed nothing on her pale face, and Cyrus crossed his arms and shook his head at the primitive weapons he saw.

"I have returned. The threat to Goldilocks has been removed," Rena spoke, her voice rising over the stirring wind. "I am here to offer my protection once more. Are you ready to negotiate?"

The chief crossed his arms, staring hard as the assorted canines gathered in a loose horseshoe around Rena, backing her like a small army. His attention then drifted to the short scruffy figure to her left. "Who is this?"

"Cyrus, my Grand Sire," Rena answered, gesturing to Cyrus, who dropped his arms and lifted his whiskered chin.

"Please never call me your Grand Sire again," Cyrus muttered.

"We have received word from Goldilocks that you have done well. But we must ask, did you kill the threat that was plaguing the Westarm Ward?" Chief Fisher asked, narrowing his eyes shrewdly. The guard and two hunters places their hands over their weapons. Rena noticed this. Why the suspicion and hostility? She then looked at the Goldies. Did they say something?

"I did not."

There was a prolonged silence, and Cyrus quickly stepped up beside Rena, watching the hunters carefully. "I thought we agreed you wouldn't do anything stupid..." he muttered quietly out the side of his mouth.

The Chief crossed his arms, looking at the two vampires long and hard. Peter then stepped forward. "She still removed the threat, does it matter if it was killed or not?"

"If she just chased it off, it could come back. Or it becomes a threat to someone else," Chief Fisher responded. He then raised his hand and stepped forward, gesturing to Rena and raising his voice. "Explain."

"By the time I tracked the abomination, it had already been killed by Cyrus," Rena elaborated, gesturing with an open hand to Cyrus who remained alertly at her side. He waved.

"My bad."

"So you lied to Goldilocks?" Chief Fisher asked, arching an eyebrow.

"I told no lies. I said the problem was dealt with. A secondary threat was Cyrus, whom I reasoned with to cease hunting in this ward." Cyrus widened his eyes, then narrowed them at Rena, before looking back at the hunters. They looked grim and ready to pounce, given the word. The Chief, however, remained calm, keeping his hands at his side. "I have entered into a pact with Cyrus, into which he has specifically agreed to bring no harm to the people of Fisham."

"That's right. I come in peace," Cyrus affirmed.

Chief Fisher regarded the two, stroking his whiskers as he thought over the matter. Peter looked tensely at his uncle, and the two sisters kept close to each other, concerned with how the Chief's decision would impact their own fates. "Well, you have done your duty by us. I invite you in to Fisham for further negotiations. We will renew our symbiosis, but under new terms. Come," Chief Fisher bowed his head and then gestured for Rena and Cyrus to follow. Together, the group walked back into Fisham.