~ Decisions ~

What Becomes Of Spirit

She stares so much, Maya thought. It's a little bit scary.

"Of course, it would be better if I were able to stay here, but, er, I have rather urgent business to attend to elsewhere."

And I don't like the way she talks, in that flat voice, it's weird.

"Selene, this time I could certainly use your help, if you don't mind coming with me."

Oh phew Selene is going, I'm so glad, Ash has been getting really annoyed at her lately.

"Maya, could I possibly ask a favour of you?"

Of me? Mr Fin wants to ask a favour of me? Not Ash or Ada or Selene but ME?

"Of course!" Maya said, smiling at Fin. "I'll do anything I can to help!"

"It's Lina," Fin said, his voice low. "She's a strong girl, but she's been through a lot. Could you perhaps be her friend?"

Maya hesitated just for a moment before saying, "Yes! Of course, I was going to be her friend anyway. I'll try very hard to make her feel welcome."

"I'm happy to hear that. I know I can count on you, Maya. Selene, we should go, those urgent matters aren't going to resolve themselves."

Maya went out to see Selene and Fin off, quietly worrying as she waved goodbye to them. Then she went back inside the little wooden room that was their current home. Ada was sleeping and Ashley was lying down with her arm over her eyes, so Maya knew not to bother her. Lina was sitting in one of the corners, staring at one of the other corners. She'd had a good wash and Fin had provided her with some new clothes—a pair of trousers that were too big around the waist, and a tunic that was too tight across the chest, and a heavy black overcoat to wear over these (this, at least, fit her well), but she hadn't touched any of the food that'd been left out for her, and she still had that odd blank look in her eyes.

But Mr Fin asked me specially to be her friend, Maya thought, and it seems like she's had a tough time lately, and I definitely know about those. What can I talk about with her, though? Oh! Of course!

"Hello," Maya said, as she sat down near Lina. Lina didn't respond. "Um, what can you do?"

Lina turned to stare at Maya, who flinched a little but pushed on regardless.

"I mean, because Mr Fin invited you to join with us—"

"He didn't invite me," Lina said, her voice flat. "He rescued me."

"Oh," said Maya. She brightened a little. "Well, that's good, right? I'm glad he could save you. It must be hard, Ada had trouble at first too, but it's amazing how quickly she got used to travelling and being with us, away from her father. Um. So. Um. So what can you do?"

For a moment, Lina didn't respond. Then she closed her eyes.

"I can't do anything," she said. "I'm just ordinary."

"Oh." There was a moment of awkward silence between the two of them, before Maya tried again: "Um, where do you come from?"

Lina just shook her head.

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"Do you have any sisters?"

Lina didn't respond at all to this. Maya went to scratch her arm but stopped herself.

"Ashley is my sister," she said, after a few seconds. "I think I told you already. If I didn't have her with me, I don't know what I'd do—"

"I don't want to talk."

Maya gaped at Lina.

"Oh," she said. "Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't want to bother you. You looked sad and lonely and I thought—"

"I don't want to talk."

Maya bit her lip, then nodded.

"Sorry," she said. "I'm sorry I bothered you. I'll ... maybe I'll rest too. I woke up early. We all did, so we're all tired. Can you hear Ada snoring? I think it's cute, the little noises she makes when she's asleep, not like my sister's snoring—sorry, I'm bothering you again. Do you want a blanket?"

Lina shook her head slowly.

"They're just here if you change your mind, and take any cushions if you want to be more comfortable, I like making like a 'nest', if—sorry. Um. Have a nice rest."

Maya left Lina alone and went to lie down. She was asleep within seconds.

Lina stayed awake all day, staring at the wall, or her hands, or the simple patterns on the rugs below. She was sleepy, but not overwhelmingly so. She was tired, but not exhausted. Mostly she just felt empty, with the odd desire to stay that way.

"Lina, are you hungry?"

Maya was awake again now. Ashley wasn't in the room, and Ada sat by herself, her glasses on the table beside her, quietly concentrating on her hands.

Lina took the food that Maya gave her and ate it.

She took the flask that Maya handed her and drank from it.

Neither of these things made her feel better, but the gratified look on Maya's face stirred something inside her.

"Thanks," she said.

Maya beamed.

"Um," she said, "how do you feel now?"

Lina looked at Ada, who seemed to be lost in a private world of concentration, then she looked at Maya, whose face was open and whose eyes were ... scared.

"I hurt someone," Lina said. "I thought I was healing him but I was just hurting him."

Maya was staring at her now, wide-eyed.

"I did something horrible to my sister," Lina continued, "I don't know what it was but I know I hurt her badly."

Maya swallowed, still staring at Lina, unable to look away.

"Then I ran. To here. And that man rescued me. I don't know why he did. I don't know why I'm worth rescuing. I just hurt everyone."

For a moment Maya couldn't speak, then she found her voice:

"You ... you can heal people?"

Lina clenched her jaw, a spark of anger igniting deep inside her.

"No—"

"You said you healed someone. Is that what you can do?"

"No. I hurt—"

"I ... my arm..."

Maya glanced over at Ada, who hadn't reacted at all to the conversation so far—she looked utterly focused on her practice. Maya looked back at Lina, then shifted towards her, just a little.

"My arm got burnt," she whispered. "Don't tell Ashley but it did, I've been hiding it but it hurts and it isn't getting better and if you can heal..."

Lina stared at Maya. Maya carefully pulled up her right sleeve, revealing her arm. There was a raggedy bandage around it, which she unwrapped, revealing a small but ugly burn. It was crusted and weeping, clearly infected.

"I don't know about this stuff," Maya whispered, "but I think this looks bad. Can you do something?"

Lina couldn't tear her gaze away from the wound, it was just so clearly wrong, not a part of how things should be at all, and it was so clearly obvious how Maya's arm should look, not like this, not with this ugly infection, and Lina watched her own hand reach out to hold Maya's arm, and there was a sensation of smallness, of the world shrinking, and then there was nothing but her and Maya, and then there was nothing but Maya's arm, and then there was nothing but this burn, this tiny, insignificant little burn, and then ... and then there was nothing.

Maya stared down at her arm as Lina drew her hand back. The burn was gone, unbroken skin in its place—perhaps a little pink, but in no way damaged. It no longer hurt, not at all.

"That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen," Maya breathed.

Lina shook her head, suddenly irritated.

"Lina, you HAVE to tell the others about this, it's incredible, nothing we can do is even CLOSE to this amazing—"

"No. It's not amazing. It's ... I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry, you might get hurt worse now that I—"

"What are you talking about, you healed me, Lina! My arm feels fine, I can hardly even tell where I got hurt—"

"Please don't tell them, I'm sorry, I shouldn't..."

Lina trailed off, then turned away from Maya.

"I don't want to talk."

Maya stared at her.

"Please," Lina said. "I don't—"

"Thank you," Maya said, her voice small but grateful. "I ... I won't tell anyone. Not even Ash. Even though it's so amazing."

Lina stared down at her hands. She nodded.

"Good," she said.