“So I told my little brother that his toys are alive, but they only move when he’s not around.”

“So like Toy Story,”

“Yeah! And then he went around trying to sneak up on his toys.”

“Yo that’s hilarious! But how did this lead to you getting grounded?”

“Well you see. He had started off trying to prove they were real by sneaking up on them like you’d imagine; Pretending to be leaving the room then rushing back in, marking where he left all his toys and seeing if they had moved, and just hiding in his room while waiting for his toys to begin moving.”

“Right,”

“You know one time he actually passed out hiding in his laundry bin, and when I realized it I moved all his toys around in his room, and he came screaming out his room like ‘Mom! My toys are alive!’”

“No way! I’m actually dying!”

“But anyway, one day he decided he would prove his toys were real by putting them in danger. You remember the old lady 2 blocks from my house where we would dare each other to mess with her dog?”

“Old Lady Rundi.”

“Right, so my brother decides that he’ll prove his toys are alive by throwing his Flash toy into the fence.”

“And then he cried to your Mom and Dad that his toy was chewed up. That’s tough.”

“Worse, Check this out. The Old Lady was giving her dog a bath when this happened so it had no leash on. Then the dog saw the toy being thrown over the fence and I guess it thought to itself ‘I could jump that too.’ And straight up runs and leaps over the fence that’s over 5 times its size.”

“What?!”

“I know right!! Max sees this dog leap down from over the fence with the Flash in its mouth and starts screaming and running away.”

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“Did the dog chase him?”

“Hell yeah the dog chased him! He only outran the dog because he kept throwing his toys at it, which it would pick up before going on to run after him again.”

“Ahahahhahahahhahahahhahahaha!”

“Then Mrs. Sue drives by and sees this happening and gets out of her car to save him. Mrs. Sue gets infront of Max who grabs her leg. The dog stops before Mrs. Sue who starts reprimanding the dog, meanwhile, the dogs tail is wagging the whole time, it drops the toys on the floor and surprisingly, beyond drool, they are all perfectly fine. The dog just really likes fetch!”

“You’re shitting me! I’m wheezing over here!”

“Yeah so my Dad and I go to pick him up after getting a call, and his pants are soaked ‘cus he pissed himself and he refuses to let go of Mrs. Sue so her leg is all wet from his pee. The dog seeing this decides to hump Mrs. Sue’s other leg, making Max piss even more and she’s just fucking stuck there.”

“I can’t breathe!”

“So Dad rushes over trying to rip Max off while the dog is still going ham, and the Old Lady, who just arrived is trying to tear her dog off Mrs. Sue and I’m just standing there taking it all in.”

“Ahahaha!I’m deadass crying. That’s probably the best way to get grounded.”

“And that’s not even the real reason why I’m grounded.”

“What?! What did you do that was worse then that.”

“Well my parents said it wasn’t my fault ‘cus like how was I supposed to know he’d do something like that.”

“Dude your parents are like super chill.”

“Nah, they changed their tune real fast when the next incident happened.”

“What happened?”

“Max, not giving up even after the dog scared the shit out of him, decides to properly catch his toys moving he had to trick them into thinking that he was leaving for school. Mom always makes him pack his bag the night before and put it in her room. So he did that on the weekend putting some toys in like he always did and hid in their closet, you know the ones with those fence like holes so their see through from one side kinda like window blinds?”

“Shutter Doors.”

“Yeah those. So my unsuspecting Mom walks in and thinks Max just didn’t realize that it was the weekend. And I don’t know exactly how it went down, but basically she pulls out her dildo from somewhere and unknowingly masturbates  in front of him.”

“No fucking way!”

“Apparently she only found out because she found Max going through her stuff trying to find her dildo.”

“Eww, why did he want to find it?”

“His words were along the lines of ‘I saw you play with you alive toy. I want your toy to help my toys be alive too.’ Or some shit like that.”

“Ha! That’s fucking priceless!”

“Yeah, But according to my parents anyone who asks it’s because of the dog so don’t go around telling people about it.”

“Wish I was there for the masturbation.”

“Eww dude I don’t want to here about you wanting to fuck my Mom.”

“I’m just saying that I would have been more suited to handle that situa—”

“I’m hanging up.”

-The End-