Chapter 1
Ford was walking home from college, taking the same sidewalks he took every day. He had bulky headphones on; being a self-described audiophile, he couldn't stand listening through earbuds. A torrented lossless file of an anime soundtrack can be heard reasonably well standing next to Ford, and the volume would be oppressively loud were anyone else to put the headphones on. Ford liked to beat the thoughts out of his brain with music in a language he couldn’t understand. It helped him forget how sad and lonely his life was.
He was supposed to be “gifted”, whatever that meant. Ever since he was a kid, he was rewarded for doing well on tests, told how smart he was, told he could be anything he wanted to be. The saddest part was that for a long time he believed all that. Everything came crashing down when he moved away for college. He’d never needed to study before, and now he was barely passing some of his classes, despite spending all of his time cooped up alone in his dorm room. It was pathetic. He was in his second term and was supposed to find an internship at an engineering company over the summer, but so far nobody had even given him an interview. His parents thought everything was fine; he could never admit to them that he was struggling so much in class. They were paying for everything, after all. Wait. Stop thinking, he thought. Just listen to the music.
Ford thought this to himself as he walked across the street. Ford should have been thinking about cars, or more specifically, trucks. Before he’d had a chance to think about it, an unnecessarily large pickup truck manufactured by a popular domestic brand carrying exactly one 250 pound person and no cargo turned Ford’s body into a broken heap, fracturing his pelvis on impact, launching him 30 feet, and letting the pavement do the dirty work of turning his brain to goo. The driver had been scrolling a popular social networking website to see the pictures her friend had just posted of her cat. Her husband bought her the obscenely large truck because he was worried about her safety. She walked away physically unharmed, and mentally assured it had been the boy’s fault for walking with headphones on, and not hers for running the red light.
As I was saying before the truck interrupted us, Ford didn’t have time to think about the truck. In fact, he wouldn’t find out about the truck until later. One moment he was listening to a popular Japanese voice actor rap an opener from a high school mystery thriller featuring a harem of girls with supernatural problems, and the next he was lying in a field, surrounded by wildflowers, looking up at the clearest blue sky he had ever seen. Everything was too pleasant for him to be startled, but he was surprised. Where am I? The air was warm, a gentle breeze wafting the intoxication scent of flowers towards him. He looked around. Mostly just grass and flowers. He stood up to get a better view. Grass and flowers.
At this point, he noticed his own body. Now he was startled. Ford was, or at least he used to be, somehow both too skinny and too fat at the same time. He did a double-take, looking down at his body again, just to be sure. What startled him so much was that somehow, he had gotten fucking jacked. Like, television jacked. Ford couldn't even think of a time he'd seen somebody this jacked in real life. He did a triple take. Something else was very different than it had been. IS THAT REALLY MY DICK!? It was huge. He wasn’t even hard, and the thing dangling between his legs was at least twice the size his old dick had been erect. The next thing that occurred to him was that he was naked.
Not that he felt particularly cold, but his mid-western sensibilities told him he should be covered up. He looked around again. There didn’t seem to be any people nearby. He felt that he ought to begin walking, even though he couldn’t see any particular destination, so he did. The grass was soft and ever so slightly damp, and it felt lovely beneath his feet. The air was clear and fresh. As Ford walked, he realized that he was happier than he could ever remember being.
It was at this exact moment that the sadness kicked in. His brain began to piece things together; new world, new body, no more headphones… he vaguely remembered walking home, and now he was here. Am I dead? Well, that was a stupid question. He was very clearly alive; he had a body, a mind, he was conscious of his experience. He could feel the grass, smell the perfume of the flowers in the air, see the beautiful landscape around him. It was as real as his old life had ever been, if not even more vivid. Did I die? That seemed like a better question. The other him certainly didn’t seem to exist anymore.
Does that mean I’m in heaven? Or hell? He wasn't being tortured. But he also wasn't singing praise to an old man with a long white beard, which is what he'd always thought of as heaven, although now that he thought about it more that seemed like another, slightly more subtle form of torture. Was he somewhere else entirely? Ford stopped and looked around again. No answers were floating in the sky above him or etched into the grass below him, so he kept walking. There was a hill in the distance; perhaps he could see something, or someone, from there. He needed some kind of explanation for where he was.
Thankfully, as he crested the hill, something other than grass came into view. A dazzling palace seemingly built of pure gold could be seen on the horizon. Ford froze when he saw it, stunned by the beauty. Despite it being so far away, Ford discovered he could clearly see the details of the palace and its inhabitants. Inhabitants? Yes! He'd already found other people! At least three. Ford set off towards the palace. He decided he would try running, given how fit his new body seemed to be. To his surprise, it was easy. He’d always been weak on Earth, struggling to run even a lap during gym class, but now he found himself racing across the gently rolling hills of long green grass with ease. He laughed, enjoying the rush of the wind as he sped towards the palace.
The journey that he thought would take a day was over in 15 minutes, and part of him wanted to run straight back out into the field. But first, he wanted to talk to these people, to get some answers about where he was. As he approached, he noticed that the palace had no gates. A path led through an open archway into a beautiful garden, filled with flowering trees and lotus ponds. As Ford strode in, it occurred to him that while his body had changed, he was still stuck with his shitty, shy, virgin mind, and a small panic set over him as he saw the three inhabitants of the palace come out from inside to greet him.
They were by far the most beautiful women he had seen in his entire life. Ford felt like he was struck by lightning as soon as he saw them close up. He hadn’t been able to tell what they looked like at a distance, or even what gender they were. Something else immediately struck Ford as well: they seemed to have been perfectly crafted to fit his own fantasies. One was short, raven-black hair flowing down to her waist, hazelnut eyes peering at him, a mischievous smirk on her face. The second girl was brunette, just a bit shorter than Ford, blue eyes peeking out below a golden crown, plump lips curled into a slight frown. The last girl was taller than Ford, blonde hair curled, green eyes piercing into him, pink lips open as she laughs out loud.
It was at this point that Ford recalled that he was as naked as the day he was born. There was no hiding his boner behind a book, or hoping the outline wasn’t visible in his jeans thanks to his lack of size. His new, much larger penis was simply standing straight out for all to see. He blushed furiously, turned on his heels, and ran straight back into the field.
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"Wait, Master Ford! Don't run! We're here to help you," the tallest woman shouted after him. He heard her but didn't turn back. There was no way he was going to have his first conversation in this new place butt-naked, dick erect, with three angelically beautiful women laughing at him. The embarrassment was already overwhelming. Running felt good. Maybe he could just run through this field forever? It seemed to stretch to the horizon. That seemed like a solid plan. Who needed palaces or answers anyway?
His train of thought was interrupted as something slammed into his body from behind, bringing him down onto the soft grass. He instinctively curled up into a ball to protect himself before realizing that what had brought him down was the short black-haired girl, who now stood beside him fixing her dress.
"Where do you think you're going? We didn't go to all that work getting ready for you just to have you run off over the hills. You're coming back with me now!" She scolded him, her voice bright and piercing like a trumpet. Even though she was giving him shit, he couldn't help but notice how cute she was. She was adorned with a white gossamer dress floating just above her knees, form-fitting at the waist, her small breasts accentuated by embroidery. A delicate silver tiara sat on her head and her hair was intricately braided through it to fall down to her waist. As she spun to lead him back to the palace her dress swirled up, giving Ford a brief glimpse of her long, slender legs.
“I’m — I need some clothes. How would you feel if I saw you naked? I can’t go back until I get some clothes,” Ford stammered, hugging his knees to his chest in an effort to conceal his naked body.
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll find out— but never mind. If you want some clothes, just wish for some. It’s not like you have to go the store or something,” the nymph responded, looking at him like he was an idiot. Ford looked confused, then closed his eyes and tried wishing for some clothes. The next thing he knew, he was wearing his familiar black sweatpants and hoody.
“Eww, is that what you’re going to wear to your own housewarming? Look at me. I didn’t put this dress on just for my own amusement. Change into something better,” she said, her words stinging into him like daggers despite the sweet tone and register of her voice. Ford thought for a moment. What kind of clothes would people wear to a fancy party in the shows he used to watch? Right, obviously. The sweatsuit disappeared and was replaced with a black tuxedo, perfectly tailored to his new, muscular body.
“That’s more like it. Come on, the other two are waiting.” She walked ahead as Ford followed her back towards the golden palace. He couldn’t help but notice how the small but well-defined muscles of her legs contracted and relaxed as she stepped, contract-relax, contract-relax, contract-relax, and so on, the rhythm mesmerizing and relaxing. When they got back to the palace, the other two had apparently gone inside, because they were nowhere to be seen in the garden. As they walked through the garden, Ford noticed again how serene and beautiful it was. The sound of water cascading off rock came from the fountain and a variety of flowers grew from planters surrounded by perfectly manicured grass. The level of perfection he was simply incomparable to anything he had ever seen before, as though not a single blade of grass was out of place.
The interior was even more stunning than the exterior. The golden roof was vaulted high above Ford’s head. A central staircase leads up to another floor. The floor was solid granite, polished to a sheen. He continued following the black-haired girl, too dumbfounded by the building to ask what was going on. The next room they passed into was a dining hall. The solid wood table sitting in the center of this room was at least forty feet long. The walls were lined with paintings depicting tall warriors in golden armor fighting off hordes of demon-faced people wielding spears and scimitars. The table was set with all manner of delicacies that Ford had never even heard of, let alone tasted. Standing by the near end of the table were the two other girls. The one he was following went back to stand beside the others, and the three addressed him together.
“Now that Lexi has brought you back, we can welcome you properly. My name is April; this is Emily,” the tall blonde said, gesturing to herself and then to the brunette. “We are the maidens of this palace, and you are the new master. Well, technically, you are the king, but we can get to that later. For now, enjoy the feast we prepared for you!” Ford heard the words she was saying, but they were too bizarre for him to really understand them. Master? King? Maidens? There was no was this was real. Maybe he was in hell, and the second he started enjoying himself the rug would get pulled out from under him.
As his mind was running on like this, Lexi came up to him with a fig and shoved it into his mouth.
“Eat,” she said, cocking her head to the side and smiling expectantly as he took a bite of the small fruit. He’d never cared for fruit very much. He’d always preferred chips, cookies, and the various types of food you could put in the microwave. But as his teeth popped through the skin of this juicy little fruit, he experienced a burst of flavor unlike anything he had ever experienced before. His mind was flooded with pleasure as he chewed, relishing the sweet, syrupy flavor, his eyes wide with surprise. Lexi grinned, seeming to have gotten the reaction she was looking for.
They guided him to a cushioned seat at the table, bringing him a variety of foods, each more delicious than the last. The girls seemed to enjoy watching him react to each new taste, his world rocked over and over again by the sumptuous flavors playing across his tongue. Between bites, he began to pay more attention to the girls. Emily seemed like the shyest of the three; she still hadn’t said a word to him. Her skin was a bronzish olive, a tanned Mediterranean tone. She wore white robes in the style of a Greek goddess, her curled dark brown hair held up by a golden crown. April was boisterous and joyful, her huge breasts bouncing as she laughed and joked with the other girls, her big smile a permanent fixture on her face. Even at his new impressive height, she towered above Ford.
Satiated by the food but still rather confused, Ford eventually stopped eating. Despite easily eating more than he had ever thought possible, he didn’t feel overly full. Now he was hungry for answers.
“So… you said this is my palace? I’m some kind of king now? Where exactly am I?” Ford asked all three of them. April was the one to respond.
“Why, you’re in heaven, of course! Or at least one heaven. You must have been quite the person in your past life to end up here!” Hearing that, Ford couldn’t help thinking there had been some kind of mistake. He hadn’t done anything exceptional in his past life; he’d been a pretty normal person, maybe even a bit on the less-than-average side. He felt like there must be some kind of mistake.
“Not really, honestly. I was a bit pathetic. Perhaps I was brought here by mistake?” Ford responded. April burst out laughing.
“Then it must be something you did in the life before that— and to be clear, you weren’t brought here by anyone, so there’s nobody to have made a mistake. You died as a human, and you were born here as a natural consequence of things you’ve done in the past— just like everyone else here. Don’t puzzle yourself with it too much! Welcome to heaven!” April explained, her voice exuberant. Her optimism was contagious, and Ford was inclined to simply drop his concerns and go along with her.
“Just one last thing then. What do you mean when you say 'King'? Are you my only subjects, or is there a kingdom out there somewhere that I have to rule?” Ford asked.
“I think our new guest will be much better suited to answer that question than I will,” April replied. “Come, I think he just arrived in the garden. We should greet him.” Ford followed her outside. A tall, black man in dazzling silver armor stood near the fountain, giving a big smile and waving hello to Ford when he saw him.
“Hello! I am King Kubera, chief of the four great kings. Welcome to your new palace!” the man said to him, stepping closer to shake his hand. Ford shook his hand, feeling out of place in his tuxedo next to the shining silver armor.
"I'm sure you have questions. Come, let us sit, and I will have answers for you."