“Is everyone present?”
My professor peered into the crowd of students that were gathered around him.
Some silence.
“I think everyone is here.”
The talkative blonde, James Dochert, was the only one who responded to him.
“Anyone know what happened?”
His tall brunette girlfriend, Jane Deer, was gripping his shoulder tightly while looking around at the rest of us.
I shrugged at her. I had woken up late for school and had barely gotten my clothes on before I found myself with the rest of my class.
“Greetings Dungeoneers! My name is Lank the Bank!”
A loud voice suddenly boomed from the side. A door that wasn’t there earlier opened and a lanky man with legs too long waltzed into the room.
“You might be wondering where you are! The answer is simple. Your classroom was chosen by the World Government to be this year’s donation to the World of Dungeoneering!”
I started to wonder if this cartoonishly long man had any other tone outside of being extremely excited.
“If you reach into your back pocket, you will find a sleek thing that your people called… the IntelligentPhone! This is our gift to you, the newcomers!”
“Don’t you mean an iPho-”
“No! Don’t say that! I have no clue if we get flagged for saying that here!”
“Oh… Okay…”
“What if I don’t have a back pocket?”
“Can I have a flip phone instead? These things are so lame…”
“I’d rather not have something where the government can track everything I do…”
“Do you have any Andro-”
“Stop!!”
Lank the Bank coughed before continuing.
“The World of Dungeoneering is a great place! Welcome, and have fun! God, this is why I hate dealing with new people.”
I winced as sunlight suddenly flooded my field of view. When my eyes finally adjusted, I realized that I was standing in the middle of an empty plain.
…
Wait, was that it?
Aren’t you supposed to get some information dump when you get teleported to another world?
Where did everyone even go?
I re-examined my surroundings for anything interesting. The only information I had to go off on was that this was supposed to be a… World of Dungeoneering?
Nope, nothing that seemed like a dungeon entrance.
I remembered the weight in the back of my pocket, and pulled out the IntelligentPhone.
They definitely ripped this thing straight off.
I pressed the obviously located Lock button on the side, and the screen lit up with a familiar interface, unlocking as it recognized my face. The home screen only had a few Apps installed: Stats, Skills, Map, Party, and Inventory.
Cool.
I pressed the Stats App.
~~~~~~
Name: No Name Dungeoneer #15
Title: Loser #543
Str: 2
Dex: 2
Int: 3
Wis: 2
Luk: 0(*)
Available Stat Points: 1
~~~~~
These are some awful stats. I bet that a slime could probably beat me…
Next was the Skills App.
~~~~~
Active Skills: None
Passive Skills: None
Skill Tree: Unavailable
Available Skill Points: 1
~~~~~
Not much better…
The Map App showed a green splotch with a star in the middle. The name “Field of Grass” appeared when I held my finger on it. Very useful information.
The Party App was about as useless as you could guess.
The Inventory App was a bit more interesting. There were about 10 slots, with one already being occupied by the IntelligencePhone. There was another tab that showed the clothes I had on.
Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.
~~~~~
Underwear: Generic Earth Brand (Worn one time since last wash)
Hat: None
Chest: Generic Earth Brand
Legs: Generic Earth Brand
Shoes: Get Better Ones
Necklace: None
Gloves: None
Rings: None
Other Accessories: None
Set Effect: Blessing of the Newbie
~~~~~
Holding onto the Blessing of the Newbie set effect revealed a tooltip:
This player can not be injured, harmed, or killed until they have performed a meaningful action.
Besides the oddly specific note next to the underwear slot, there wasn’t anything notable in my equipment. I decided to walk in a random direction.
“Wait there, my dear Loser Number Five Four Three!”
“Oh, hello, Lank the Bank.”
“I may have lost my patience with your class! I will now provide you proper compensation!”
Lank the Bank bowed deeply and dropped a small package and his feet.
“With that, goodbye, Loser Number Five Four Three!”
And he disappeared as quickly as he appeared.
“Does he not know how to not shout?”
I walked over and picked up the package, noticing the notification:
You have received Mysterious Loser Number Five Four Three Package! This has been added to your inventory. You now have 8 Inventory slots left.
“Well, that’s the most useful thing so far.” I muttered to myself. I pulled at the ribbon on the package and it unraveled.
Mysterious Loser Number Five Four Three Package opened! You have received Loser Number Two Seven’s Axe! This has been added to your inventory. You now have 7 Inventory slots left.
I went to the Inventory App and equipped the Axe.
Loser Number Two Seven’s Axe has been equipped! You now have 9 Inventory slots left.
…
I felt the wooden handle smoothly slide itself into my right hand. I gave it a few experimental swings and it felt okay, not that I knew too much about axe swinging.
Skill discovered! Swing Lv.0 has been unlocked!
I looked at the Skill app and checked the new addition. New stuff to look at was fun.
~~~
Active Skills: Swing Lv.0
Passive Skills: None
Skill Tree: Unavailable
Available Skill Points: 1
~~~
I held my finger down on the new skill.
~~~
You swing your axe. Did you think you do something special?
Mastery %: 0%(Rating 0)
Damage Modifier: 2%(While using this skill, you deal 2% of your possible damage.)
~~~
“Squeee!!!!!”
I looked up from my phone, noticing a gelatinous green blob had suddenly appeared. It wasn’t very large. In fact, it was kind of cute. It looked about one foot wide, and came up to my knees.
You have discovered a Green Slime! You have unlocked the Bestiary App!
Skill discovered! Basic Observation Lv.0 has been unlocked!
I sincerely hope that this “IntelligentPhone” had a good battery life, considering how many notifications it seemed to produce at any given moment.
Annoyance at the notification system has been detected! You have unlocked the Settings App!
“SQQQQQQUEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!”
The green slime began to slowly shuffle towards me. It wasn’t extremely quick -- I think I could outrun it by crawling.
I waited until the slime was within my arms reach, crouched a bit, and swung at it.
I’m not sure what I expected, but I assumed that the slime’s gelatinous body would have some sort of resistance. The axe cleaved it cleanly in two.
“Sq-Squ… Squeee…?”
The slime dissolved back into the ground.
Achievement Unlocked! Slime Murderer!
You are now an Enemy of Slimes!
You now have the title of “Killer of Innocent Slimes!”
You now have the title of “Harmer of Innocent Slimes!”
You now have the title of “Enemy of Slimes!”
You have unlocked the Event History app!
You have unlocked the Kill History app!
Green Slime (Innocent) has been added to your Bestiary!
All Slimes will be notified when you approach.
I immediately navigated to the Settings app, and adjusted the Notification Trigger from “Automatic” to “Important Events Only”. At this point, the entire story would just be the notifications appearing on my phone.
The ground started to rumble, and I saw the formations of more green slimes appearing.
Important Location Discovered! Green Slime Dungeon Lv.0!
Seven Notifications Suppressed. Notification History App unlocked.
… Good thing I changed the settings.
Green Slime Dungeon Lv.0 Complete!
Five Notifications Suppressed.
The green field melted away and revealed a bustling town center. A myriad of smells- no, odors assaulted me. Was that the smell of fruit too old, an unwashed person?
Suddenly the tooltip about the last time a human washed themselves made a lot more sense.
Bzzt!
I pulled my IntelligencePhone out.
You have discovered Loser Town #47!
You have begun the official Tutorial! Please open the Map app to find the Guild!
The Map app was way more powerful than I initially thought it was. In the town, it clearly marked all shop locations and revealed their descriptions when I pressed down on them. The location of the Guild was clearly highlighted, and there was even an arrow that guided me towards my location.
Well, I say guided, but it really just pointed to where the Guild was, even if the path was blocked by buildings, shrubbery, and other obstacles…
After climbing over the 7th set of bushes, I finally came across what I assumed was the guild. It was actually quite impressive, in terms of how not majestic it was.
It was a wooden table with a man dressed in plain beige clothing sat at it, a long line idling around him. There was a large board to the right of him that a dozen people were examining, occasionally tearing off papers that were attached there.
“...and we just repaired out relations with them too. What an awful time for another group to be transported in.”
“Thankfully, they’re extremely forgiving. Maybe we’ll get away with just one sacrifice this time.”
I walked past a few older men who were huddled by the rightmost side of the board, one of them holding onto a fresher looking paper.
As I got closer, the man seated at the table happened to glance over, his phone lighting up as he did so. He motioned to a tall woman dressed in a similar boring beige outfit. She sighed and walked over to me.
“Hey, you’re the fifth person of your class to arrive. Congratulations on being chosen to join us in this hellhol- I mean the World of Dungeoneering. Please follow me and I’ll provide you with a beginner’s bag.”
She began walking to a clearing behind the man at the desk, and I felt obligated to follow her.
“Do you know where the rest of my classmates are?” I attempted to make some conversation.
“I can only confirm the statuses of the students that have passed their first dungeon. Since you have arrived here, another seven students have passed.”
“Did everyone have the same dungeon as I did?”
“Everyone was given a similar difficulty dungeon. Although unfortunately…”
The woman briefly stopped to glance at me.
“Well, you’ll see after you enter here.”
You have discovered the Main Guild Hall!
3 Notifications Suppressed.
I was momentarily blinded by the sudden change in lighting, again. I wondered if there were any optometrists in this world while my vision slowly adjusted to the darkness.