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Who Killed My Body?
Chapter 9: Detective Steiner

Chapter 9: Detective Steiner

Tucker peeks across the street, making sure they’re out of earshot of Anna’s evil doppelganger. He then turns to Wally, his face grave. “Listen Wally, I know this sounds crazy, but I think Anna’s been kidnapped and replaced by an imposter!”

Wally raises an eyebrow. “What makes you think that, Tuck?”

He takes a deep breath. “Well first of all when we got here she didn’t do the secret handshake so I thought hey that’s weird better investigate, so then I asked her questions only Anna would know but she didn’t answer them and my mom wouldn’t let me continue the interrogation, and then at lunch—”

Wally holds back an amused grin. “Slow down, bud! Okay, let me get this straight. Anna didn’t do your secret handshake, so you think she’s been replaced by an evil clone?”

Tucker stomps his foot in frustration. “That’s not all! When we were eating, I swear I caught her staring at my roast beef sandwich, like she wanted to have it. And you know Anna. She cares about animals so much she’d never eat meat!”

Wally nodded sagely. “It must be pretty serious if it’s come to that.”

Emboldened by finally being taken seriously, Tucker exclaims, “Darn right! You’ve gotta help me, Wally! Mom thinks I’m crazy and you’re all I’ve got!”

“Don’t worry, Tuck,” Wally says with a wink, “Detective Steiner is on the case.”

Of course, he doesn’t believe Tucker’s imaginative theories. But he does have to admit, Anna’s been acting weird lately, and he would like to find out why.

***

After seeing Anna’s family off, Wally and I headed back to the residence hall together.

“So, how bad was it this time?” Wally asked as we approached the entrance.

“You know, the usual,” I replied, letting him fill in the blanks.

“Oh… sorry.” There was an awkward pause as we entered the building and passed through the gate. Once we reached the elevators, he continued. “Did you have any trouble with the physics notes? I can help explain things if you want.”

“No, I’m good. I’ll give them back to you once I get home.” I hadn’t yet figured out how to act around Wally, and until I did, I wanted to keep our time together as brief as possible. The elevator doors parted and we stepped inside.

“Really? You were struggling a lot with electric fields, I thought you would definitely need my help…” He gave me an incredulous look that put me on edge.

“Yeah, things just kind of clicked for me. Maybe it’s because your notes were really clear,” I said without looking at him, instead directing my gaze to the side of the elevator as I pushed the button for the second floor.

“Oh, okay. That’s good.” He changed the subject, seeming to sense my discomfort. “Are you free this evening? Maybe we could play some Smash or something.”

I paused, trying to look tempted by the offer, then replied, “I wish I could, but I can’t tonight. I have some homework to catch up on. Maybe another time?” The elevator dinged as we arrived on my floor.

“Yeah, whenever you’re free,” he said, looking deflated. We both stepped out and headed to my room. Wally waited outside while I retrieved his notes.

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“Thanks for these, they really were a huge I help,” I said as I handed them over with a smile. This time, I was telling the truth.

He looked down, trying unsuccessfully to hide his blush. “No problem, what are friends for?”

With that, we parted ways for the evening. Exhausted by so much social interaction and so many close calls, I washed up and went to bed early that night.

I spent the next day at home, preparing for my first day of classes by practicing Anna’s handwriting and intensively researching human social norms through online videos and movies. I also figured out how to have food delivered to the dorm, ordering a variety of dishes from a local Thai restaurant and devouring everything in one sitting. I had gone a bit overboard, using all of the cash in Anna’s wallet to cover the bill, but I wanted to experience everything human cuisine had to offer. Wally texted late in the afternoon, asking if I wanted to hang out, but I was still weary from the day before. I told him I was feeling ill again, so he sent his well wishes and didn’t bother me for the rest of the day. I found it difficult to fall asleep that night, worrying about the endless number of ways things might go wrong the next day.

On Monday morning, I woke up hours before Anna’s 9 AM alarm and found myself unable to fall back asleep. After showering, putting on jeans and a butterfly print t-shirt, and packing Anna’s bookbag. I spent the remaining time looking at myself in the mirror, mimicking Anna’s facial expressions from videos of herself and practicing small talk with imaginary strangers. Admittedly, it was rather useless to practice social interaction when I was completely alone.

At 9:40 AM, I steeled myself for the challenging day ahead of me and headed out. When I arrived at the physics lecture hall, it was nearly empty. Wanting a good view of the blackboard, I took a seat near the front of the room. I pulled out Anna’s physics notebook and neatly arranged her pens and highlighters on my desk. Within minutes, students began spilling in, filling the room with lively chatter. Josh entered the room and took a seat near the back, failing to notice me as he chatted with some of his friends. I turned my gaze back to the entrance, anticipating Wally’s arrival.

I had decided the day before to be open and friendly with Wally, keeping things platonic. If Anna had known Wally for years and never mentioned her feelings, I saw no reason to shake up the status quo. However, if Wally knew about Anna’s crush, either from his own observations or Tucker’s confidential conversation with him the day before, and confessed that he felt the same way, I would have to accept his feelings. I hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

When Wally entered the room, I waved eagerly at him. He waved back, but wore a puzzled look as he sat down beside me. “Morning, Anna. I’m surprised you chose to sit near the front today. Normally I have to pull teeth just to get you to the middle rows.”

I laughed nervously. “Yeah, I figured I should start taking classes more seriously. You know how my mom is…” In reality, I had chosen the seat because I was eager to learn, but the need to appease Anna’s mother made for a convenient excuse.

“Yeah, I hear you,” he said with a pitying look. “Well, I can’t complain. Maybe now Professor Petrovitch will finally call on me when I have a question.” He elbowed me playfully as an older man with a bushy gray mustache walked up to the board and began the lecture. I took copious notes as he spoke about calculating electric flux through Gaussian surfaces, feeling a twinge of pride that I could follow everything he said. I was also quite pleased with how well my handwriting matched Anna’s. Paying rapt attention to the lecture, I completely failed to notice Wally’s slight, pensive frown whenever he turned to watch me.

When lecture ended, I began packing my things. As I was about to stand, Wally said, “Hey Anna, did you hurt your hand or something?”

I gave him a bewildered look. “No, why?” The oddly specific question reminded me of Tucker’s interrogation the day before, but I buried the thought. Surely Wally didn’t have the same wild imagination as Anna’s kid brother.

“Oh, I just noticed you were holding your pen kind of weird today… maybe it’s just because you were so serious about taking notes. I’ve never seen you so focused in physics before! Usually I have to beg you to stop pestering me so I can hear the lecture…” He laughed, but that did nothing to ease my worry. I realized there was no way I could perfectly emulate every single detail of Anna’s behavior. Instead, I needed a reasonable explanation for my deviations from her usual mannerisms.

I sighed deeply. “Yeah, my mom’s been getting on my case about my grades lately. Honestly, it’s really stressing me out,” I said, hoping to garner Wally’s sympathy. It seemed to work.

“Hang in there, soldier,” he said with a small salute before gently patting my shoulder. Flooded with relief, I let out a genuine, mirthful laugh. Perhaps living as Anna wouldn’t be so difficult after all.