Brunwaeld gave up her ducked ‘waddle’ after the fourth time she tried to stand to look at something and banged her head on the ceiling. “Damn it!” She cursed, “I’ll just search this way!” She said with a sigh after we let out some much needed laughter at her unintended antics.

Faust nodded, “That might be for the best, you’ll bring the upper floor down on us if you keep doing that.”

“Was that… a joke? Did Faust just tell us a joke?” Belladonna asked, pausing to rest her arm on an old wine cask, “I didn’t think you knew how to tell those.”

Nazari chimed in, “People who are worried about dying, often tell jokes to fight their fears.” She rapped her hand against the stone wall. “I’ve brought down enough people who knew they were a target, to know that first hand. A few become veritable court jesters the night before their time comes.”

She stepped away from the wall and watched as Brunwaeld began sweeping her hands along the dirt floor.

“Jokes or no jokes, is it possible that we’re on the wrong floor?” Freydis asked and popped open a casket. She took a look inside, the pungent smell of wine hit her nostrils at once. That was a very real possibility unfortunately, though this was the lowest level, it wasn’t the only level of the castle that was below ground. It could have easily been a higher floor or even through the dungeon itself.

She picked up the cask, and found only dirt beneath.

“There’s no way to be sure. But all we can do is be thorough, search the entire floor and move on…” Faust said and ran his finger over the wall. “Isn’t there some magic or something that could help us find this thing?” He asked.

“If there were a trap I could help.” Nazari answered. “But we’re just looking for a hidden door. Though… maybe…?”

[Detect Trap] She cast her spell, and from her body a blue glow briefly emanated, sweeping over the room from floor to ceiling and wall to wall…

Nothing happened.

“So there are no traps. But, it’s not a bad idea, I’ll check the other below ground rooms, just wait for me if you find something.” Nazari said, her stern expression turned thoughtful. “Faust, before I go search, I do have one question.”

“Yes?” He asked, his fingers dug into a bit of loose earth along a corner of the room.

“Are you really prepared to kidnap your Princess?” She asked. “You know if anyone hears you whispering about that, even she won’t be able to save you. People are about to start panicking, if the guards in the palace don’t let the news slip, survivors from the battle will, and that’s if the common servants don’t hear it from the guards, or the nobles who got word first don’t give it away by running for their lives.” She spat into the dirt, “If you’re caught, you’ll be lucky if they only kill you.”

“I won’t let my Princess die here.” Faust declared, his stare was long and intense, his fingers twitched as if he were ready to reach for his sword. “I’m going to have to trust you all not to sell me out, but I don’t intend to tell anyone else. Not until I have to. We can harbor a handful of people, and some soldiers to protect them. But if I have to, I’ll flee with nothing more than her.”

“I won’t say a thing.” Nazari said and made for the door, leaving the remainder to search the room.

It was quiet then, the searching went on, opening all the smaller casks and searching for a hidden lever, or moving the casks in search of a hidden button. Brunwaeld was the first to grow frustrated and simply ‘smash’ a barrel, she smacked her head on it while crawling on the floor in search of a catch or a latch, and backhanded the old wood hard enough to send it crashing into a wall, it shattered into a thousand splinters, the metal bands clanging as they struck one another and the wine splashed everywhere.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“Brunwaeld!” Freydis snapped, and the barbarian woman snorted.

“What?! Listen,” she stood and carefully looked up before she rose to a hunched position, “All we’re doing by playing nice with this stuff is leaving lots of booze for the Auxkos soldiers to drink while they slaughter, plunder, and ravish the city. Screw it! It’s all just waiting to be lost anyway, why leave it for the Emperor to drink?”

“She has a point.” Belladonna answered.

Freydis didn’t say anything, but her eyes fell on the giant casks near the back of the room. “Inside.”

“What?” Faust asked.

“We don’t have to find the trigger, we can just find ‘the thing’ and look,” Freydis said, pointing toward the line of giant casks, “where better to hide a way out, than there?” Freydis asked, “This stuff is all flammable,” she crinkled her nose, “very flammable. I thought it was just poor quality, but what if it’s not? What if it’s exactly the right quality? Imagine coming down here, the castle is under siege, you want to flee and you don’t want to be chased. So you open up all the barrels, dump them, and then set it on fire while you make your escape. If the door can be closed behind you, nobody would even know to follow!”

“That does make sense.” Faust mumbled.

“Brunwaeld, smash.” Freydis said with a cocky grin, and the barbarian started punching her fist through the oversized casks, the smell of alcohol was utterly overwhelming, and they collectively covered their noses as one by one, the largest of the wall sized barrels were broken open. The crack of wood that was well past its prime was drowned out by the noise of gushing wine that flooded the floor and turned the soil into mud. Their feet squelched as, now that they had a way to get inside, widened the holes and stepped into the giant barrels in search of further clues.

The Princess’s information kept them searching, hands running over damp old wood in the dark. For a few minutes Faust hung back, waiting, watching, and it seemed, ‘Is there nothing here? Could it really be another floor?’

That thought was aborted when Freydis started pacing the caskets inside, and out. “Everybody step out.” She said, and her confused party members obeyed, ducking through the body sized entrances and scattering splinters into the muck.

“What?” Belladonna asked, and then cocked her head while Freydis wordlessly began walking inside each casket in turn, counting out loud.

“One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten.” She counted the paces each time she went in, and each one was the same until…

“...Six. Seven. Eight. Nine.”

“This barrel is shorter than the others.” She declared, “At least on the inside. But it doesn’t ‘look’ shorter from the outside, does it?”

“No… so you think?” Bella donna prompted.

“I do.” Freydis answered.

She drew her blade and thrust it through the wood in one smooth motion. It passed through as the group clustered behind her at the entrance, Brunwaeld hunched over to look within while Freydis hacked at the wooden enemy barrel, chopping away chunks that fell with an echoing thud at her feet. She then sheathed her sword and began tearing away, flinging the pieces over her shoulder and finding an open gap.

“I found something!” She shouted with glee as her impromptu treasure hunt yielded some unexpected results. “Follow me!” She exclaimed and stepped through the gap, “Faust, go call for Nazari, I want to see where this goes!”

It was an almost childlike glee to find the hidden space, and she stepped through it without hesitation, without bothering to acknowledge whether Faust followed her directions or not. There was indeed a ‘door’ but it was swung inward, like the one who last used it, hadn’t thought to close it. “Lucky us.” She said with a grin wide on her face, the way ahead was pitch dark and seemed to stretch on forever… but the goal at least was met. “We found a way out. It looks like Faust and his Princess get to live after all.”