“Master, are you sure we should leave it behind as is?” a white-haired youth inquired cautiously.
His skin was ashy and he had a considerably gaunt build. However, his sharp jawline, high cheekbones, and other refined facial features created an otherworldly kind of beauty.
The youth looked imposing yet dreary with his dark, buckled long-coat. Its color seemed to clad his tall, skinny figure in a shadow. What was most notable, though, were his long ears which elongated to a point.
“Eh, let’s just leave it, Dun,” the other youth responded with a yawn. “I'm here to have fun and take care of a few things, not clean up after trash.”
It was hard to notice under the dirty, beige hooded outfit, but the other youth wore a white mask that covered his entire face.
It had been about a week since he left the two weirdoes in the White Realm.
Well, that was according to a random estimate he made because dimensional travel liked to screw with time a lot.
“With all due respect, Master Em, my name is not ‘Dun’ but ‘Dunmer,’” Dun whined again.
“Well, I still think ‘Dun’ fits you better. In other languages, Dun can mean dull, gloomy, and dark. Exactly like you are!” Em giggled.
He came up with the name thinking of it as a stroke of genius. Em was proud that his naming sense was coming along quite nicely.
It was clear that his Master wouldn't budge on the matter, so Dun could only sigh, true to his depressing aura.
The two were walking through a forest of dead trees. A thick fog blanketed the whole area and the place seemed desolate and creepy. The cracking of twigs or rustling of leaves accompanied their every step.
In the distance behind them appeared a gargantuan black castle. However, what was once a magnificent structure was now on fire and mostly collapsed.
“How could the castle of the Dark Elves fall so easily?” Dun muttered to himself as he took a peek at the carnage behind him and recalled his recent experiences.
He marveled at how a leading superpower fell in one night all because they pissed off an unlikely traveler.
“Jeez, didn’t you see for yourself? I was on vacation when I found this pretty gem. But some disgusting bugs refused to hand it to me, so I crushed them. Simple, no?” Em summarized with crossed arms.
“Comparing the Dark Elves to bugs, huh.”
Dun let out his ninety-fifth sigh since he met and swore fealty to Em on his own accord. And that was only yesterday.
“Only Master could think on such a scale, ” Dun commented dryly.
Then he asked with a haughty tone and a glimmer in his eyes, “Was I the gem that you referred to?”
“Nope! It was that crystal ball-thing at the top of the castle!”
The Orb of Obscurity? So Master really did want such an artifact?
Dun’s ears drooped down as he thought that. The already thick, dark aura became stronger.
“I'm just kidding, dude!” Em exclaimed in exaggerated hand motions in an attempt to cheer up the depressed elf. “I was very appalled to see the way they treated their own kin!”
“Just because you have some amazing potential or whatever doesn't mean they should imprison you! That's totally a waste, ya know!” Em continued.
Hearing that, Dun’s ears twitched in delight. His switch was clearly flipped as he perked himself up and was in a better mood.
“I appreciate your acknowledgment, Master.”
“Don't sweat it. I destroyed it anyways,” Em chuckled. “I’d take a 'Dark Elf Shadow Assassin’ over a stupid orb any day.”
Ignoring Em’s offhand words that would make anyone else dumbfounded, Dun instead expressed his confusion about his Master’s actions.
“Why did you destroy the Orb of Obscurity, Master?”
“Is that what it's called? Well, I thought it’d make things more exciting,” he explained cooly. “Yeesh, seems like some grade-schooler named that. Clearly, my new title for you is much cooler, huehehue.”
Dun gave a small smile at his Master’s willingness to give him a title. However, his ashy cheeks slightly reddened at its embarrassing description.
Dun could finally see the end of the dead forest after having walked for a few hours. In the distance, there was a lush sea of green forest trees and other plant life that seemed to be bursting in vibrancy and vitality.
Originally, no one could enter, much less escape, the Dark Elves’ territory under the influence of the Orb. But now…
No, not just that. The very balance of powers in Solvenheim could change drastically.
Dun pondered the implications of the Orb’s destruction.
“Woah, a green forest full of exotic plants! I've always been wondering this, but do other worlds have plants that make you high?” Em questioned with anticipation.
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Dun stared at his master with a deadpan expression, not knowing what he was talking about.
Dun could only think of one thing in that instant.
And such a change is due to someone like Master....
The Dark Elf sighed for the ninety-sixth time that day.
“I must apologize, Master, for I lack general knowledge of Solvenheim due to having been imprisoned for so long. Unfortunately, I only know of poisonous plants because I've been force fed them before.”
“Oof, sorry ’bout asking,” Em rubbed his head at the unexpected response. “By the way, how old are you again?”
“I am 1,067 years young.”
“And how long were you in that cellar for?”
Dun paused and tried with great difficulty to recall how long he’d been in that drab, gloomy place. However, as his mental state had been quite out of sorts during that time, he failed to remember.
“Master, my memory is a bit fuzzy so I’m not sure. But if I were to give a number, I’d say 1050 years, give or take?” Dun replied with clear uncertainty in his voice.
“That’s fine. And how about those Elders or whatever they called themselves?”
“At least 100,000.”
“Dude, you're like a fetus compared to them!” Em exclaimed, amazed, as he visualized the significant disparity in ages. “And imagine, a fetus that could beat up a grown man! Cooool. Okay, let’s keep going.”
Em pointed towards the distant forest and walked faster.
After a while, the dead trees became fewer and fewer and dark green patches of grass appeared more frequently. Finally, the two stopped before the outermost edges of the lush forest.
“That was fun, but I think we should travel faster next time.”
“I agree, Master. It would be much more efficient when going to many places, correct?”
Em shook his head and began stretching his legs and arms. He twisted his body here and there and did little hops before bending over and stretching his back as well.
“Nah, it’s just kinda boring. And it feels like I’m letting out pigeon-sized droppings when I really want to take a massive shit.”
“What?” Dun asked. ”Pigeon?”
“Sorry, I think I went overboard with that analogy. I don't think you get what I mean anyway so don't take it seriously,” Em advised.
“It just means I don't like holding back.”
After finishing his warm-up, he looked towards the forest in search of an interesting location. What entered his vision first were generic fantastical marvels of nature.
Mountain ranges, giant trees, plateaus, mountain ranges, plateaus, giant trees, more giant trees.
Em’s vision suddenly honed in on an obscene-looking structure in the distance that one would easily notice, especially amongst the faraway landscapes. It was made of a metallic material and began to reflect some of the blinding light of the now rising sun. The thing was humongous and stood proudly erect in an otherwise aesthetically pleasing environment. The rounded top had a slit and reached a height where one could barely see it, which was both impressive and disgusting considering what the entire structure looked like.
“Oi, elf-boy. I have a few questions about that. You know, the medium of copulation?” Em said as he pointed towards the structure. “First, what is it?”
“Yes, Master. It's the Dwarves’ Palace Tower. I don't know much except that it helped create the biggest and most prosperous establishment of the Dwarves in Solvenheim. It's an architectural masterpiece crafted with the finest metals,” Dun answered swiftly. “However, the Dwarves don't live in it. They gaze at its ‘beauty’ from afar.”
“Hmph. ‘Biggest architectural masterpiece,’ huh? My god, now that I look at it closely, they even added veins!” Em screamed and shuddered when he further scrutinized the structure. “Okay, next, why is it so close to the Dark Elves’ territory?”
“The Dwarves don't, well, hadn't known, that the territory existed due to the Orb of Obscurity. They built the tower in the forest not knowing there were Dark Elves nearby,” Dun explained. “They'll probably be alerted soon, though.”
“Why would the elves let them build something so close?”
Dun shrugged.
“Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer, as they say. It may be difficult for Master to understand due to your strength, but the Orb is more powerful than you think. This is especially true when it comes to mass concealment. That’s something every race and nation would covet.”
Em nodded his head absently, clearly not listening.
“Uh-huh. I see. Final Question.”
Em made a sweeping up-and-down motion towards the structure.
“Now, why is it shaped like a penis? No, wait, I’m pretty sure it was intended to look like one.”
There was no doubt about what the structure looked like. It was far too detailed and textured to be something else. Even the two “eggs” sat at the foot of the “tower” in all their glory. Such a vulgar sight would not make youths feel the majesty and wonder that fantasy worlds would normally evoke.
Dun winced at the question. He looked like he wanted to cry. But he took a deep breath anyway before giving a beautifully articulated answer.
“The Dwarves are known for admiring the external male genitalia. Men view it as a symbol of their...dominance. Women call it the ‘P-Peak of Pleasure’ amongst other...n-names,” Dun responded hurriedly with a trembling voice.
Shiny pearls of tears trickled down his cheeks. Explaining the rationale behind the single and most embarrassing man-made construct of Solvenheim was not an easy feat, even for the hardened elf.
“What? So they're perverts?”
“Indeed.”
Despite his mask, one could tell Em was making a face of utter disbelief.
“Do they want to compensate for their size or something?”
“No, Master. It's the opposite,” Dun said, now aware that his Master lacked more in terms of common knowledge than him. “The Dwarves are also known as ‘Horsemen’ in Solvenheim.”
Em threw up his hands in exasperation.
“What the hell! This isn't what I’d imagined the first Dwarves I'd ever see in person to be like!” he exclaimed somewhat unintelligibly and angrily. “At least the Dark Elves were pretty much what'd you'd expect!”
The Dark Elf who heard that was confused yet amused by his Master’s tantrum. He'd never seen him act this way before. He was also glad he didn’t have to provide further explanations.
“Alright, enough of this disgusting conversation about the Dwarves,” Em proclaimed as he set himself up in a crouched running position. “I'm going to destroy that abomination first and then continue my otherwise fun and pure adventure.”
Before Dun could react, Em pushed off against the ground and shot towards the tower!
A vast, deep crater formed from where he jumped, enveloping nearly the entire forest! The shockwaves caused trees miles in every direction to fall. Giant cracks snaked everywhere and a vast expanse of roots were upturned. Sonic booms rang out every second as the human projectile sliced through the air.
Dun had already escaped into the shadows far from the affected area and looked towards the direction his Master shot off to. A horrifying and deafening explosion rang out a split second later. The whole forest shook and there was the sound of creaking metal that was accompanied by a second mini-earthquake.
As the Dark Elf witnessed the destructive spectacle, he could only sigh once more in defeat. However, his voice was shaking in anticipation.
“Indeed, Master will flip Solvenheim on its head…”