Dread hung heavily in Akihato’s chest. He knew that he could have taken a portal back to the tower at any time, but he opted instead to return the mediocre way. Somehow, the use of magic felt tainted for him. He hadn’t expected to be weighed down by the knowledge he’d gleaned. Knowledge was supposed to free a person, but the dark truths seemed to have wrapped chains around his heart and mind.
Master Okan’s parting words had been meant as encouragement, but they’d felt more like a pressing command. “Remember your duty and look to the future, for yours is bright, Akihato. Greatness does not come without a price.”
He was willing to pay a price for power and for knowledge both, but it was unfair Hanamei should have to pay in his stead. That single point kept him at the rowdy, dingy inn of Rotetsu village for two days, fighting with his sense of duty and his sense of honor. If he didn’t obey Master Okan and Hanamei became everything the Onzara feared, there would be dire consequences. Not only for Akihato but the entire world. Could he put the lives of thousands ahead of a single woman? Ahead of his own soul?
It was on the third night of wallowing in indecision that Jin had come in search of him. The gwazemi was dressed in a hooded cloak, his strange features hidden in the shadows cast by the drawn hood. He spotted his master sitting at the bar right away and breathed a visible sigh of relief before hurrying to Akihato’s side.
The Zosara had mixed feelings about being hunted down by his servant. He knew he had probably caused both of them concern as he’d said he would only be gone for a night at most and that number had now been doubled. At the same time, he had hoped it would take them longer before they sent out a search party to drag him home.
“Master.” Jin gave a swift bow, no doubt hoping not to draw too much attention. “Ren and I were greatly concerned when you did not return on schedule. I am glad to have found you so quickly. Are you well, Master?”
Akihato wanted to shake his head no, but he nodded an affirmative instead. “I’m fine, Jin. I just needed some time alone to think.”
“And to drink, Master?” He shifted his gaze pointedly to the cup in Akihato’s hand.
“Just tea,” came the response. “Alcohol tends to impede thinking, doesn’t it?” Despite himself, he winked. He didn’t want his servants to know what was going on. He didn’t want anyone to know. The whole idea made him feel incredibly ashamed. Part of him wanted to ask Jin what he would do, but he knew the answer without having to speak the question. The gwazemi who chose to serve a Zosara were dutiful and honorable. They would carry out any order voiced by their master. If he asked, they would poison Hanamei for him unflinchingly.
The thought certainly had some appeal, but the uneasy squirming in his stomach made Akihato immediately reject it. This was his burden, and he alone would bear it.
“Will you be returning home with me, Master?” Jin asked, his tone almost tentative.
Akihato wanted to say no again, but with a sigh, he nodded. “Of course, Jin. I believe I’ve had an adequate amount of time to think...” When it came right down to it, there was no escaping duty, and with that conclusion drawn, it meant he had no other decisions to make.
Right... I now have only to perform an action that goes against my very nature... Marvelous.
Paying off his tab and room, Akihato led the way out of the inn. Together the pair walked in silence back to the tower. It was well after dark when they arrived, and Akihato was feeling no better about his decision than when he had settled upon it. He caught Jin glancing with concern in his direction several times but offered nothing to assuage the water spirit’s unease. Surely he sensed his Master was struggling and desired to help, but this was something he had to handle alone.
As they moved through the front door, Akihato began to give instructions. “Have Ren escort Hanamei to my study, please. I need to discuss—” The rest of his comments were drowned out by animated chattering, causing him to frown.
He turned his gaze away from Jin and started in the direction it was coming from. Stepping into the main living area, he was met with an unexpected sight. Hanamei was standing on a stool, her arms stretched out on either side and a partially mended gown hanging from her slender frame. Ren was hovering around her, taking measurements and marking the fabric with a piece of white chalk. The expression on Hanamei’s face was bright and happy, and even Ren looked as though she were enjoying herself. Akihato had never seen an gwazemi express enjoyment before!
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It made his heart sink all the way down to the floor. Imagining what she could become, the destruction and pain she could inflict, is what had given him the strength to make his decision. Now that he was actually in her presence again, all he could see was a bright young woman whose future was just as fluid as his own. As she was now, he couldn’t imagine her becoming a monster under any circumstances. Had those around Mujona felt the same way about him once? Or had he always been rotten? Akihato had no way of answering such questions, and the lack of that knowledge made him feel incredibly helpless.
The vial tucked inside his shirt seemed to burn against his skin, weighing almost as heavily as the decision he’d been struggling to make. He hated the feel of it there, hated the idea of what it was and what it was meant for. However, there was no denying that being in possession of it afforded him some measure of control. He could begin Hanamei’s training, and if he saw signs of darkness, signs of corruption, then he could put an end to it with a clean conscience...
“Master!” Ren was the first to see him. “I am glad Jin was able to find you.” She bowed her head as she was already stooped over.
Hanamei saw him next, her face lighting up with a smile that nearly knocked Akihato right off his feet. “My Lord, you’re back!” she exclaimed, wiggling with such excitement it forced Ren to hurriedly empty her hands so she could help Hanamei free of the fabric.
Before the two women could complete their task, Akihato swept out of the room again, heading straight for his study. This was why he hadn’t come home straight away. How could he think when Hanamei was right in front of him? Once inside, he shut the door, locked it, and pressed his back against the solid wood as though some terrible monster were pounding on the other side, attempting to break in and consume him.
“Blast...” he muttered, reaching inside his shirt for the vial. The hand that grasped it began to shake. He hated the feel of the glass on his skin, as though the very container were just as cursed as the potion within. He knew the truth in that moment; he couldn’t do it. He had to give her a chance at becoming what she was born to be. After everything she had endured, Hanamei deserved that much out of life.
Strolling to the other side of the room, he pressed his hand against a hidden panel and summoned frost to his palm. The action opened a secret vault only he could access. Here is where he would keep the vial; he hoped for all eternity. It would be safe, and he wouldn’t have to think about it, see it, or worst of all, touch it unless absolutely necessary.
He would tutor her here, in his tower, far away from the rest of the Conclave and the world. She would be his secret apprentice until he was absolutely sure her heart was pure. When the time was right, he could present her to Master Okan as proof not all chaos Zosara were dangerous.
The Master had been right; Akihato’s future was bright, but not if he poisoned a girl out of fear and prejudice. Perhaps this way, with Hanamei’s power on their side, they could change the world for the better, put an end to evil men like Warlord Tzulan, and truly unite the land. Such a thing had never been of interest to Akihato, but it seemed fate had placed Hanamei in his path for a reason, and he could imagine no better cause than that.
A timid knock at the door made Akihato jump. He swiftly resealed the vault and then stepped over to unlock the door. As he’d expected, Hanamei was waiting there, appearing uncertain and demure. Her eyes were glittering, however, reminding him how happy she was that he was finally home.
He tried to forget the vial, hidden away like a baleful viper behind him, by putting a smile on his face. “Ah, Hanamei, I was just coming to speak with you.” It wasn’t really a lie; he had fully intended to talk with her after taking time to compose himself first. “I see you and Ren have sorted everything out.” That much was a relief.
Hanamei nodded, shifting out of the doorway so Akihato could leave the study. He closed the room off, still feeling the tingle of apprehension at the back of his neck, then led the way toward his quarters.
“Yes, we did,” she answered, speaking as they walked together. “I also... made a decision about my future.” Her steps faltered, and she slowed to a halt. “I’d like to stay...” Her words came out so softly he could barely hear them. She quickly added, “That is if... you’re still willing to train me...”
Akihato didn’t let her see the relief that washed over him. He smiled, but there was a measure of weariness still on his face. “I am glad to hear that, Hanamei. Truly.” He reached out and squeezed her shoulder gently, intending the gesture to punctuate his statement, to properly convey his feelings were genuine. “We will begin your training tomorrow after breakfast—”
Whatever he was going to say was drowned out by an excited exclamation from Hanamei. An instant later, she had thrown her arms around his neck and was hugging him. Even standing on tiptoe with him somewhat bent, her soft cheek was barely able to brush against his. Caught off guard, it took Akihato a moment to react. He awkwardly patted her back, not wanting to dampen her enthusiasm despite how very weary he’d become in the last several minutes.
“Thank you, my Lord,” Hanamei whispered, her voice cracking with emotion. “I swear I won’t disappoint you!”
Akihato prayed that was a promise she’d be able to keep.