Later, after Zero had successfully showered the past 5 days away, he returned to his own room for some privacy.
His room was still mostly bare at the moment. He had a small desk tucked in the corner, a bookshelf with nothing except dust, a bed, a dresser with spare military uniforms, and an attached bathroom. Only one thing was on his mind however - the old Zero's journal.
Once he realized who it belonged to he had tucked it under his shirt and stowed it away in his own room. He wasn't sure if anyone cared that he was in there, but he had gotten himself into enough trouble recently. Zero made sure his door was locked before sliding into his bed. He pulled the journal from underneath his pillow and admired it in his hands.
It was a normal sized journal - leather bound, a small ribbon to mark the current page you were on, and that was about it. To Zero though, this journal might as well have been the holy grail itself. He was getting a chance to learn about his predecessor through his own words. The man he ripped in half. The man who had been the soul of this team.
He decided it was best to start from the beginning as he wasn't ready to read the last page. He didn't know if he would ever be ready for that.
The first entry had been from 3 years prior:
========================================================================
4/15/2037
First off, I just wanna note how dumb the idea of writing to no one is. Like what's the point really? So that I can go back and read my own depressing thoughts. Well Five told me it helped him keep his thoughts in order so I suppose I'll give it a shot. Don't want them thinking I'm some kind of head case though.
It's been about 2 months since I've joined Midnight Squad. Everyone here is called by their number so I guess my name is now Six. Feels weird but I honestly don't remember what my original name was so it's a moot point I suppose. The base is pretty nice though. We all have our own room, but I moved into the empty room next door because I just can't deal with Five's snoring anymore. I'm sure Sadiki won't care.
I think I'm going to be assigned to a mission tomorrow. I've been on a few already, but this will be the first one where I'll have an actual role and not just be babysat. Not nervous at all. Well, maybe just a little. But can't show it if I wanna be the ace one day. Two is some type of machine. The guy does the same meticulous shit everyday and is the most background character I've met since joining, but….he's so reliable. I want to be the person everyone can count on too. Maybe one day I'll be able to challenge Two for the ace spot. Who knows.
Ugh, it's getting late. Goodnight random journal! :)
========================================================================
Zero paused at the end of the first entry.
"Wait, so he was actually Six at first? And Two…he was the ace.."
Zero quickly flipped it to the next page but he had filled the next 3 or so pages with different designs for a uniform, but with '2' written on it.
Well, he definitely had a goal in mind, thought Zero. He passed the next page and came to the next journal entry that was a few days later:
========================================================================
4/19/2037
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
The mission went terribly. I fucked up. BAD. I know the others blame me for what happened. I didn't mean for it to go this way! It was supposed to be the moment I showed them my value. Not…this.
I'm so sorry Five. I'm such an IDIOT. WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST LET ME DIE?! Now, I have to be reminded of my failure each time I don't see you in the hallway or at dinner. I couldn't have made it even this far without you. I'm so sorry. I'm so freaking sorry.
I don't want to do this anymore. I can't be responsible for anyone else dying. I won't.
========================================================================
So the last Five died because of Zero's actions, Zero thought to himself. But what happened? He couldn't imagine the guy who Azrael fought desperately against could be so careless. Maybe it wasn't his fault to begin with?
He flipped to the next entry:
========================================================================
4/21/2037
The Colonel came to visit us today. Well - I guess he's the Major General now after his big promotion. It's not often he comes down here from way up in his office on the upper floors. But apparently he has big news.
I can only assume it's the appointment of the new Five. I doubt they'll move me up after that last mission. I miss him. Everyone does.
I heard they don't waste too much time replacing us. I do wish they would appreciate Five a bit more before just moving on to the next thing. I mean he was on this team for years. Are they really that thoughtless?
Whatever. We're all to report to Haji's office in a little while so they can tell us. Hopefully I'm not kicked out. Or whatever they do to us when they don't need us anymore.
========================================================================
Big news? Is that when the current Five came along, Zero was pondering. But they said he was not much newer than himself so that couldn't be it.
He was about to flip to the next entry when there was a loud knock at his door.
"Coming!" He yelled out as he quickly shoved the journal under his pillow. Jumping out of bed he promptly ran to the door and opened it.
It was One.
"Hey, Zero. Just thought I would check in on you since you were just released."
"Yes, I'm okay. Just needed a hot shower." He replied, feeling a bit nervous as if he was just caught doing something.
"Fair enough," One said with a smile. "Well I also wanted to let you know that you'll be going on your first mission in 2 days."
"2 days? Why the wait, Captain? I already passed all my mission training."
"Yes, but there's one more thing you'll need to do before you'll get the okay to be combat ready."
"What's that?"
"You'll be doing a presentation in front of a few visitors to Alpha Base. No worries though. It's simple procedure - the higher ups just want to make sure the program is still producing results. We've all had to do it in the beginning."
"Ok." Zero didn't like the thought of having to show off in front of the people who could easily have him executed. What if their 'product' wasn't up to their standards?
One nodded and walked off. The sound of his hand dragging against the wall for guidance could be heard tapering off in the distance.
Once he was sure One had left the hallway, he ran back to his bed and grabbed the journal once more. He had so many questions about just the few pages he's read so far. He looked on to the next entry:
========================================================================
4/22/2037
The last 24 hours have been absolutely crazy. I still don't know what to think about everything.
The Major General informed us of a new change effective now - a new Five will be brought in later today, and I'm being promoted to a new role altogether. It'll be that of Zero. Apparently after reviewing the report of the last mission, it was decided that my power couldn't be defined within the parameters of the Five spot or even the Three or Four. They did some type of analysis or something.
So, I'm no longer Six. I'm Zero now. And…also it was decided Zero,me, will be considered the ace of the team since it's a position of so many variables that it should be given a high responsibility within the team.
I can't say I expected to become the ace like this or even this soon. I don't know how to feel about it honestly. It doesn't feel like I earned it.
Not to mention Two hates the air I breathe now. He doesn't display an abundance of emotion often, but I could tell during that meeting that he did not agree with this. In the past 24 hours he hasn't even so much as looked at me.
Like hey, it wasn't my decision. Don't take this out on me man. But I have to say, it does kinda feel good that even the Major General has taken notice of me. I didn't ask for this but you better believe I'm gonna make the most of it!
========================================================================
Zero closed the journal. He laid on his back and stared at the ceiling, his thoughts more complex and confused than before.
"I don't understand. Zero took Two's ace spot. Two resented him for it. Then why…why does Two have such a grudge against me?"